Lesson video

Hi everyone, my name is Ms. Voyle.

And welcome to today's lesson where you are going to be writing a paragraph of your diary entry.

This unit is based on the story into the forest and you may wish to refer to it.

You will need a copy of the 2022 Walker Books Limited edition of "Into the Forest" by Anthony Browne.

You have also already written a plan for your writing today and it's important that you use this to support you.

Pause the video now to get your copy of "Into the Forest" and your plan.

Great, now I know you have the book and your plan with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to and you'll also need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing.

I hope you are feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is I can write a paragraph of a diary entry based on "Into the Forest".

Here are the key words for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Emotions, fronted adverbial of time, relative complex sentence.

Great job, well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Emotions are strong feelings that result from a person's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

A fronted adverbial of time is a sentence starter that tells the reader when something happened.

And a relative complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and a relative subordinate clause.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write; and in the second part, you will be writing a paragraph of your diary entry.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

Your diary entry can be structured like this.

Date and greeting, Dear Diary is the greeting; opening paragraph, here there was a general statement and the beginning of the recount; paragraph one, this is where there is a recount of the strange encounters the boy had in the forest; and paragraph two, this is where there will be a recount of the boy reaching the grandma's house, finding his dad, and returning home.

You have already written the date and greeting and the opening paragraph for your diary entry.

You have already planned paragraph one.

And in this lesson, you will be writing this paragraph.

We are going to continue writing a diary entry written from the first person perspective of the boy in "Into the Forest".

First person perspective is the point of view where the writer is the I character.

You are writing in character as the boy.

You'll use pronouns like I, me and we because you are writing in first person.

Let's check your understanding.

Which of the following sentences is written in the correct perspective for a diary entry? a, I came across a strange boy; b, she came across a strange boy; c, they came across a strange boy.

Pause the video and selects the correct answer.

The answer is a, well done.

I came across a strange boy is written in the correct perspective for a diary entry, because it uses the first person pronoun I.

Your diary entry will be written in the simple past tense to recount.

This tells us that the action has happened already and has now finished.

Here are some examples.

I walked through the forest; I encountered a pair of abandoned hungry children; It was so bizarre! Diary entries use informal language.

This is because only the writer is reading their writing, so it does not need to be formal.

You are writing in character as the young boy from "Into the Forest" and your language choices should reflect this.

Here is an example.

I came across the STRANGEST boy! This is an example of exaggeration because the word strangest is written in capital letters and it is a super adjective.

This is one example of how to write in an informal manner.

Here is another example.

I was SO annoyed I didn't listen to my mum.

SO annoyed is an example of a motive language which is informal.

And you may have noticed the apostrophe for a contraction.

Didn't is a contraction of the two words did not, and contractions are a common form of informal language.

The following model contains fronted adverbial of time.

Listen carefully, I will read it to you.

As I walked through the forest, I quickly wondered whether I had made a mistake.

It was so dark and eerie.

Before long, I came across a confusing boy, who wanted to swap his cow for my cake! I was completely baffled by his suggestion and I walked on.

Next, a girl, who had long, golden plaits, approached me.

She fiercely demanded the cake, but I managed to get away quickly.

Thank goodness! A fronted adverbial of time is a sentence starter that tells the reader when something happened.

Can you spot them in this model? Pause the video and discuss with your partner.

Hopefully you spotted before long and next.

These are both examples of fronted adverbials of time.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

They provide greater detail about the main clause that follows.

Fronted adverbials of time will be particularly useful for your writing as they will help you clearly sequence the encounters and events.

Here are some examples.

First, before long, next, then, at last, finally You may also use fronted adverbials of manner.

Some examples of these are confused, with fear, hurriedly.

You may also use fronted adverbials of place.

An example of this is in the middle of the path.

Let's check your understanding.

Which of the following linguistic features should we use in our diary writing today? a, formal language; b, fronted adverbals of time; c, simple past tense; d, first person perspective.

Pause the video and select the correct answers now.

The answers are b, c, and d, well done.

You should use fronted adverbials of time, simple past tense, and first person perspective when writing your diary today.

You are going to use the notes from your plan to form a range of sentences in your diary writing.

Here is an example of the notes we developed for the boy's first encounter.

You developed precise vocabulary for what happened and ideas for thoughts and feelings, including show and tell.

Using a range of sentences in our writing helps with text flow.

Let's take a look at a model together and the different types of sentences that appear within it.

Listen carefully.

I will read this to you.

As I walked through the forest, I quickly wondered whether I had made a mistake.

It was so dark and eerie.

Before long, I came across a confusing boy, who wanted to swap his cow for my cake! I was completely baffled by his suggestion and I walked on.

Next, a girl, who had long, golden plaits, approached me.

She fiercely demanded the cake, but I managed to get away quickly.

Thank goodness! Let's take a look at the different sentence types.

The first sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the adverbial subordinate clause as I walked through the forest.

The following sentence is an example of a simple sentence.

It contains one main clause.

Then we can see an example of a relative complex sentence.

It uses the relative pronoun who to add detail to the noun that came before it, the boy.

And further down at the bottom, we can see an example of a compound sentence.

Here, the coordinating conjunction but has been used to join two main clauses.

The use of relative complex sentences will be particularly useful in your diary writing.

A relative complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and a relative subordinate clause.

The relative subordinate clause begins with one of the following relative pronouns and adds detail about the noun that precedes it.

Who is the relative pronoun used to add detail about a person and which is the relative pronoun used to add detail about a thing.

Let's check your understanding.

Which of the following is a relative pronoun used to begin a relative clause about a person? a, when; b, where; c, who; d, which.

Pause the video and select the correct answer.

The answer is c, well done.

Who is the relative pronoun used to begin a relative clause about a person.

This will be particularly useful when describing the encounters with the different characters in the forest.

A relative complex sentence can be formed in two ways.

The relative subordinate clause can follow the main clause.

Here is an example.

Before long, I came across a confusing boy, who wanted to swap his cow for my cake! Here the main clause comes first and the relative subordinate clause follows it.

A relative subordinate clause can also be embedded within the main clause.

Here is an example of this.

Next, a girl, who had long, golden plaits, approached me.

Here, the main clause has begun.

Then the relative subordinate clause comes and then the main clause finishes.

Commas must be used to separate the relative clause from the main clause.

Let's check your understanding.

Identify the relative clause in each sentence and identify where the missing comma or commas should be.

I will read each sentence to you.

a, I bumped into an odd boy who weirdly had a cow with him; b, a girl who had blonde plaits and a fierce expression crossed my path; and c, I encountered a pair of sad, starving kids who had been abandoned by their parents.

Pause the video now to identify the relative clauses and where the missing commas should be.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

For a, I bumped into an odd boy who weirdly had a cow with him.

The relative clause is who weirdly had a cow with him and the comma needed to proceed this.

For b, a girl who had blonde plaits and a fierce expression crossed my path.

The relative clause is who had blonde plaits and a fierce expression.

Here, the relative clause has been embedded within the main clause, so a comma needs to proceed it and come after it.

And for c, I encountered a pair of sad, starving kids who had been abandoned by their parents.

Here, the relative clause is who had been abandoned by their parents and the comma needed to proceed this.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of relative complex sentences.

It's now time for your first task, and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of your diary entry.

Make sure you use your plan and include the following: precise vocabulary from your plan, including show and tell; fronted adverbials of time to sequence the encounters and events; and a relative complex sentence.

Here are two sentence starting scaffolds.

Your first sentence could begin with the adverbial subordinate clause when I entered the forest, and then you should complete this sentence with a main clause that conveys emotion.

Your next sentence could begin with a fronted adverbial of time, followed by, I stumbled across an odd boy who, here complete the relative clause to create a relative complex sentence.

Pause the video and orally rehearse your sentences now.

Welcome back, well done for orally rehearsing your sentences.

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to you.

Let's take a look at a good example together.

When I entered the forest, the darkness immediately made me feel an easy.

Before long, I stumbled across an odd boy, who strangely suggested he exchanged his cow for my cake! Confused, I politely declined and walked onwards! Next, an angry-looking girl, who had long, golden plaits, demanded the cake.

Her fierceness made me nervous and I ran away from her quickly! Not long after, I had yet another encounter! Let's take a look at how the linguistic features appear in this example.

So for precise vocabulary from your plan, including show and tell, we can see the darkness immediately made me feel uneasy.

Further down it says, confused, I politely declined and walked onwards! And then near the end it says, her fierceness made me nervous and I ran away from her quickly! So that's lots of show and tell.

For fronted adverbials of time to sequence the encounters, we can see before long, next, and not long after.

And for a relative complex, we can spot two examples of this.

First, before long, I stumbled across an odd boy, who strangely suggested he exchanged his cow for my cake! Here, the relative clause follows the main clause.

And then we can see the sentence, next, an angry-looking girl, who had long, golden plaits, demanded the cake.

Here, the relative clause is embedded within the main clause.

Well done again for orally rehearsing your sentences.

I hope you are feeling really excited to begin your writing.

It's now time for the second part of our lesson where you are going to be writing a paragraph of your diary entry.

When we write, we always try to do these things: plan and say each sentence before we write it; use punctuation where we know the rules; vary our sentence types; write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting; sound out words to spell them accurately; and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Listen carefully.

I will read it to you.

I have used the linguistic features of a diary entry, first person perspective, simple past tense, and informal language; I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan to recount events and convey emotions; I have used fronted adverbials of time to clearly sequence the encounters and events; and I have used a range of sentence types including a relative complex sentence.

You should use your plan to help you structure your writing today.

Here is an example of the plan we created for the first encounter the boy has.

Pause the video and make sure you have your plan with you now.

Great, now I know you have your plan with you.

I am now going to share a model of the beginning of this diary entry paragraph, and then I'm going to need your help checking it against the success criteria.

Listen carefully.

As I got further into the forest, I felt uneasy about my surroundings.

Before long, I encountered an odd boy, who offered to swap his cow for my cake.

It was the most BIZARRE thing! I politely declined and I walked on.

Next, an angry-looking girl, who had long golden plaits, approached me.

Can you now check my writing against the success criteria and see if you can spot where I've met each point? Pause the video and discuss with your partner.

You did such a great job at checking my writing against the success criteria, well done.

Let's go through it together.

For linguistic features of a diary entry, first person, simple past tense, and informal language.

We can see that the first person pronoun I has been used throughout this model.

For simple past tense, we can see I felt, I encountered, it was.

A good example of informal language in this model is the most BIZARER thing.

The capitalization of the word bizarre really conveys the informal tone.

So we can take that point on our success criteria.

For precise and ambitious vocabulary from the plan to recount events and convey emotions, we can see I felt uneasy about my surroundings, encountered an odd boy, offered to swap his cow for my cake, politely declined, walked on, an angry-looking girl, long, golden plaits.

So we can tick that.

For fronted adverbials of time to clearly sequence encounters and events, we can see before long and next.

So we can tick that.

And for a range of sentence types including a relative complex sentence, I can see that the first sentence here is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the subordinate clause as I got further into the forest.

Then I can see my first example of a relative complex sentence, before long, I encountered an odd boy, who offered to swap his cow for my cake.

Here the relative clause follows the main clause.

Then I can see an example of a simple sentence, it was the most BIZARRE thing.

Then there's an example of a compound sentence, I politely declined and I walked on.

Here the coordinating conjunction and has been used to join two main clauses.

And the final sentence is another example of a relative complex sentence.

Next, an angry-looking girl, who had long, golden plaits, approached me.

This time the relative clause has been embedded within the main clause.

So we can definitely tick that final point.

It's now your to write.

Indent the first sentence, use the success criteria and your plan to help you write this paragraph of your diary entry.

Pause the video and do your writing now.

Welcome back.

It's now time to read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit any punctuation errors.

You should also check your writing against the success criteria and tick each box when you are sure you have met it.

Pause the video to do this now.

Well done for reading over your writing and reflecting on it.

I am sure you did a great job at making any necessary edits and improvements and meeting the success criteria.

Let's take a look at a good example of this paragraph together.

Listen carefully.

As I got deeper into the forest, I realised I should have listened to mum.

The eeriness of it spooked me! Before long, I bumped into an odd boy, who strangely offered to swap his cow for my cake! I was honestly PUZZLED by his suggestion and I walked on in disbelief.

Next, a fierce girl, who had long, golden plaits, crossed my path.

She angrily demanded the cake, but I said no.

She really unnerved me and I got away from her quickly! Then, I encountered a pair of distressed, hungry children, who had been abandoned by their parents.

I furiously sprinted onwards because their pleading looks and haunting cries overwhelmed me! Let's now check this against the success criteria.

For linguistic features of a diary entry, we can see I got, I realised I should have, I bumped into, I was honestly puzzled.

These are all examples of first person, past tense, and informal language.

So we can tick that point.

For precise and ambitious vocabulary from the plan to convey emotions, we can see that the eeriness of the forest spooked me.

Then it says, I was honestly puzzled by his suggestion and I walked on in disbelief.

Further down it describes the girl angrily demanding the cake.

It says, she really unnerved me.

And then near the end, after describing the pair of hungry children, it says their pleading looks and haunting cries overwhelmed me.

So that is lots of precise and ambitious vocabulary that conveys emotions and we tick that point.

For fronted adverbials of time to clearly sequence encounters and events, we can see before long, next, and then.

So we can tick that.

And for a range of sentence types including a relative complex sentence.

The first sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the arb subordinate clause as I got deeper into the forest.

The following sentence is an example of a simple sentence.

The eeriness of its spooked me, that contains one main clause.

Then we have our first example of a relative complex sentence.

Before long, I bumped into an odd boy, who strangely offered to swap his cow for my cake.

Here the relative clause follows the main clause.

Then we can see an example of a compound sentence.

I was honestly puzzled by his suggestion and I walked on in disbelief.

Here, the coordinate in conjunction and has been used to join two main clauses.

And we can also see two further examples of a relative complex sentence.

Next, a fierce girl, who had long, golden plaits, crossed my path.

Here the relative clause has been embedded within the main clause.

And finally, then I encountered a pair of distressed hungry children who had been abandoned by their parents.

Here, the relative clause follows the main clause.

So we can definitely tick that final point.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

This paragraph recounts the boy's encounters with characters in the forest and conveys how his emotions heighten.

Diary entries should include specific linguistic features including past tense, first person perspective, and informal language.

Fronted adverbials of time help clearly sequence the recount.

A relative complex sentence uses a relative pronoun, who or which, to provide greater detail about a noun.

And a relative clause can follow the main clause in a relative complex sentence or be embedded within it.

Well done again for your hard work writing this paragraph of your diary entry.

I have really enjoyed teaching you this lesson.