Lesson video

Hi everyone, my name is Ms. Boyle, and welcome to this writing lesson where you will be writing the opening of your journalistic report about "Little Red Writing Hood." For this lesson, you need to be listening carefully.

There will be tasks where you need somebody to talk to for lots of oral rehearsal, and then there will be the writing task of your opening.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is, I can write the opening of a journalistic report.

Here are the keywords.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Opening, formal language, relative complex sentence.

Well done, let's take a look at their definitions.

The opening is the first paragraph of a journalistic report that provides an overview of the event.

Formal language is language used in certain non-fiction texts involving sophisticated and objective vocabulary without the use of contractions.

And a relative complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and a relative subordinate clause.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write.

And in the second part, you will be writing the opening of your journalistic report.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

The layout of a journalistic report can be structured like this: headline, opening paragraph, recount section, headline, opening paragraph, recount section, quotes section, closing paragraph.

Let's remind ourselves what is in each part.

The headline grabs the reader's attention.

It tells the reader what the story is about.

The opening paragraph gives an overview of the event.

It does this by answering the questions who, what, where, and when.

The recount section provides specific details of the event in chronological order.

The quotes section gives quotes from witnesses or experts about the event, and the closing paragraph is where the journalist says what is currently happening or what might happen next.

In today's lesson, we are going to be looking at the opening paragraph and what makes a good opening paragraph, and then you'll write your own.

The opening paragraph of a journalistic report is the first section which provides an overview of the news event.

The opening paragraph gives the reader the key details of the event.

It hopes to engage them to read further.

However, if the reader does not read on, they have still discovered the main facts.

The opening provides an overview by answering these questions: what.

Where.

When.

Who.

Why.

These are called the five Ws.

We will not be answering the why until we know the motive for the event and we don't yet know the motive for the wolf's crime.

How do these questions help us summarise a news event? They are a good checklist for making sure we have covered the key details in the opening paragraph.

What is the journalistic report about? Where did the event take place? When did the event happen? Who are the most important people involved? Let's check your understanding.

True or false? The purpose of the opening is to engage the reader and give them an overview of the event.

Pause the video and answer now.

That is true, well done.

Are you ready to justify your answer? A.

Then the reader will have all of the information.

Or B.

By answering the questions what, where, when, and who, the reader will have knowledge of the most important information.

Pause the video and justify your answer now.

The answer is B, well done.

The opening does not provide all of the information.

It does not have all of the details, but it gives the most important information to the reader first.

Read the following extract and consider what doesn't sound right? "This journalistic report is about a violent incident.

"This event took place in a property on Cherry Pot Lane.

"This incident happened yesterday afternoon.

"The most important people involved are a wolf, "Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter." Now, have a little think.

Is there anything about this extract that does not sound quite right for a journalistic report? It answers each of the W questions as full, explicit sentences.

It says, this journalistic report is about, this event took place, this incident happened, the most important people are, and that is not how we answer the five Ws.

It does not flow well for the reader and it sounds very repetitive.

You will notice that the word incident is used over and over.

It does not read like a formal journalistic report.

The what, where, when, and who can be more naturally answered through explaining the key details of the event.

Read the following model of an opening paragraph and consider where and how the four Ws are answered.

"An unsettling series of events has left "the local residents of Cherry Pot Lane feeling shaken.

"Yesterday afternoon, police were called to a property "there after a violent incident had taken place.

"A suspect, who is known as Mr. Wolf, "has been arrested for breaking "and entering the property of Mrs. Puckett.

"Both Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter "were treated by paramedics at the scene.

"As details begin to emerge, "a thorough police investigation is under way." Can you spot how and where the four Ws have been answered in this model? You will notice that the first sentence begins with an unsettling series of events.

This immediately tells the reader what the reader knows that there has been an unsettling series of events.

It then says, has left for local residents of Cherry Pot Lane.

This offers the location, the where, the event has taken place.

The next sentence begins with yesterday afternoon.

This answers the when.

It then refers to a violent incident.

This gives more detail about the what.

We now know it is an unsettling series of events that involved a violent incident.

We can then see the words suspect and Mr. Wolf.

This tells us the who.

It then says, breaking and entering.

This gives us more information about the what.

It then gives us the name Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter.

So we have more information about the who.

These are more people who were involved in the event.

The four Ws are gradually revealed through explaining the key details.

This sounds far more natural to the reader.

How has a relative clause been used to add detail about the suspect? Have a little search and scan for the word suspect and see if you can find the relative clause that adds detail.

We can see it says, "A suspect, who is known "as Mr. Wolf, has been arrested for breaking "and entering the property of Mrs. Puckett." Who, is known as Mr. Wolf, is the relative clause which begins with the relative pronoun who.

We always use the relative pronoun who when adding detail about a proceeding noun that is a person.

The relative pronoun who has been used to provide the name of the suspect.

Let's check your understanding.

What are the four Ws for the opening of the journalistic report about "Little Red Riding Hood?" A.

What is the report about? B.

Where did the event take place? C.

When did it happen? And D.

Who was involved? Pause the video and discuss now.

Welcome back, you did such a great job at recalling and identifying the four Ws.

Let's go over the answers together.

For A.

What is the report about? It is about a violent incident that has caused distress and injury.

For B.

Where did the event take place? It took place at a residence in Cherry Pot Lane.

C.

When did it happen? It happened yesterday afternoon or at another time the day before.

This is really important because news reports keep up-to-date with the most current news cycle.

So it would not be about an event that took place a long time ago.

And for D.

Who was involved? The suspect, Mr. Wolf, and the victims, Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter, Red, well done.

It's time for your task.

Say the first three sentences of the opening.

Make sure you include the following: A sentence that summarises what the report is about and why it is important.

Details which answer the questions what, where, when, and who.

Remember, you want to provide these details naturally.

And a relative complex sentence using the pronoun who to add detail.

For example, the suspect, who.

has.

For example, the suspect, who.

has.

A relative complex sentence consists of a main clause, subordinate clause, main clause.

The subordinate clause is embedded within the main clause to add detail.

Pause the video and discuss and say the first few sentences of the opening with your partner now.

Well done for your fantastic oral rehearsal of your first sentences.

It's time to quickly check your sentences to make sure they included all of the right things.

Did your first sentence summarise what the report is about? Have you given details of what, where, when, and who? And did you include a relative complex sentence using the pronoun who? Have a little think.

Well done, let's take a look at a fantastic example together.

"A concerning incident has rocked "the local residents of Cherry Pot Lane.

"Yesterday afternoon, police were called "to a property there after reports "of a violent and distressing event.

"The suspect, who is known as Mr. Wolf, "has been arrested for breaking "and entering the residence of Mrs. Puckett.

"Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter, "who was also at the scene, "have been treated for injuries.

"A thorough police investigation is under way "to determine the details of what took place." Now, let's take a look at how this meets our success criteria.

The first sentence provides the what and the where.

A concerning incident is the what and Cherry Pot Lane is the where.

The next sentence begins with the fronted adverbial yesterday afternoon, which tells us when.

It also then provides more information about the what by saying violent and distressing event.

The next sentence gives us information about the who, the suspect, who is known as Mr. Wolf, and Mrs. Puckett.

The next sentence gives the final who, her granddaughter.

And there are two relative complex sentences here.

We can see the relative clause, who is known as Mr. Wolf, has been added to give detail about the suspect.

And in the next sentence, the relative clause, who was also at the scene, has been added to give detail about the granddaughter.

Well done for your fantastic oral rehearsal.

It's time for the second part of our lesson, the most exciting part, because you are going to write your own opening for your journalistic report.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Saying them out loud helps.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type we know.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately, and check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

I have answered the questions what, where, when, and who to provide an overview of the event.

I have used the relative pronoun who to write a relative complex sentence, and I have included journalistic language and subject-specific vocabulary.

I am now going to model writing the opening of a journalistic report on "Little Red Riding Hood" to you, and we will check it against the success criteria to make sure I have included all of the right information and language.

As you will see, I have written out my success criteria neatly, and I have chosen to begin my first sentence with an unsettling series of events.

This is formal language to let the reader know the what.

The reader now knows that this report is about an unsettling series of events.

How could I finish this sentence? Would I say an unsettling series of events has happened? No, I don't want to answer my Ws explicitly.

I want to see if I can answer them more naturally.

And I can answer more than one of my four Ws in the same sentence.

So I could say, "An unsettling series of events "has shaken.

"the community." And this is where I could answer my where.

Okay, I could say the community of, what's the name of my street? Cherry Pot Lane, that is where the crime took place.

Let's read that back one more time.

"An unsettling series of events has shaken "the community of Cherry Pot Lane.

Great, and I've got my full stop, that works.

I now have answered the what and the where, but I might want to give a bit more detail about the what.

Do I want to say it was a violent incident? Yes, it would be important to include that in the opening.

And should I say a violent incident took place yesterday afternoon? That sounds a bit like I'm answering the Ws explicitly.

Instead, I could begin my sentence with a fronted adverbial of time.

Yesterday afternoon, Yesterday afternoon, a violent incident.

a violent incident.

A violent incident happened, or would there be a more formal way to say that? Yesterday afternoon, a violent incident took place.

Yesterday afternoon, a violent incident took place.

Great, and I would like the reader to know that this violent incident resulted in the police coming because that is an important piece of information for the opening.

I'm now wondering if I could actually use a coordinating conjunction to form a compound sentence.

Yesterday afternoon, a violent incident took place and this resulted and this resulted in police attending.

in police attending.

the home.

Now, will the reader know which home I'm talking about? I'm not sure that that is subject-specific vocabulary.

What would I call the place where a crime took place? Oh, I know, we would say the scene.

Okay, yes, I think that works better.

So we've now answered the what, the where, and the when by saying yesterday afternoon.

What about the who? Okay, great, so I want to use formal vocabulary.

So I would say the suspect of the crime.

The suspect of the crime, what happened to him? Well, he's been arrested.

Okay, the suspect of the crime has been arrested by officers.

has been arrested by officers.

has been arrested by officers.

Should I include what he's been arrested for? Yes, I think that's a good idea.

The suspect of the crime has been arrested by officers for breaking and entering.

The ho, no, I don't want to use home and I don't want to use scene again.

So what's another synonym? Formal synonym, I know residence, okay.

Of, what is the name of my victim? Mrs. Puckett.

Great, but there's another important who.

Mrs. Puckett's granddaughter.

How could I include that? I could say, Mrs. Puckett, both, both.

I could say, Mrs. Puckett, both, both.

Both Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter.

and her granddaughter.

Should I include the granddaughter's name? Both Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter.

Oh, I could.

This is where I could include the relative pronoun who.

Both Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter who is known as Red suffered injuries and they were treated by, what is the name of the people who treat you when you've been hurt? Paramedics.

Brilliant, now, I have chosen to end my opening with this sentence.

"As further details begin to emerge, "a thorough police investigation is underway." Because I would like the reader to know that there is still further information such as the motive yet to be uncovered.

Now, let's check this against my success criteria.

I have answered the questions what, where, when, and who.

Well, I can see unsettling series of events and violent incident for what.

For where, I can see Cherry Pot Lane.

For when, I have yesterday afternoon.

And for who, I included the suspect, Mrs. Puckett, and Red.

Now I'm wondering, should I actually include the name of the suspect? And I could have another relative clause.

Okay, so the suspect, who has been identified or who is, no, no, I've said who is known as Red here.

Who has been identified Who has been identified as Mr. Wolf.

There we go.

Let's read that again.

"The suspect who has been identified "as Mr. Wolf of the crime." Now, I'm not sure that does work.

That doesn't quite flow well, but I could take out of the crime, actually.

So I could just say, "The suspect, who has been "identified as Mr. Wolf, has been arrested." That works, "By officers for breaking "and entering the residence of Mrs. Puckett." Great, and I've got Mrs. Puckett and Red.

Those are my other whos.

So I can tick this part of my success criteria.

I have used the relative pronoun who to write a relative complex sentence.

Well, I know I added one in here and I have one for Red here.

But which piece of punctuation did I forget? My comma, now I can tick that.

And I have included journalistic language and subject-specific vocabulary.

Yes, I made sure to check for that.

I used community rather than people, scene rather than home.

I use synonyms, so residents rather than repeating scene.

And I have used phrases like as further details begin to emerge.

That's journalistic language.

Great, I can tick that.

It's time for your writing task.

Write the opening of the journalistic report about "Little Red Riding Hood." Let's quickly recap the success criteria.

I have answered the questions what, where, when, and who to provide an overview of the event.

I have used the relative pronoun who to write a relative complex sentence.

I have included journalistic language and subject-specific vocabulary.

Remember, a relative complex sentence has a main clause, subordinate clause, main clause.

Your opening paragraph sentence starters could be a troubling series of events has.

or a concerning incident has.

This gets you started with answering the what.

Pause the video and do your writing task now.

Welcome back, I have seen some fantastic writing of the opening paragraph.

Let's take a look at a good example together and see how it meets the success criteria.

"Wolf Detained Following Dangerous Deception "An unnerving set of events has shaken "the local residence of Cherry Pot Lane.

"Yesterday afternoon, the authorities were called "to a residence there after a violent incident "was reported to have taken place.

"The suspect of this crime, who is known as Mr. Wolf, "has been arrested by officers for breaking "and entering the property of Mrs. Puckett.

"Both Mrs. Puckett and her granddaughter suffered injuries "and they were treated by paramedics at the scene.

"As further details begin to emerge, "a thorough police investigation is under way." Now, first, let's check for those four Ws.

We can see it took place on Cherry Pot Lane.

When? Yesterday afternoon.

What? A violent incident.

And who? Mr. Wolf, Mrs. Puckett, and her granddaughter.

Now, for the next part of our success criteria, using the relative pronoun who to create a relative complex sentence.

We can see this sentence says, "The suspect of this crime, "who is known as Mr. Wolf, "has been arrested by officers for breaking "and entering the property of Mrs. Puckett." The relative pronoun who provided the name of the suspect.

And for our last piece of success criteria, using formal journalistic language.

We can see unnerving set of events.

This is a very formal way of referring to the event.

Local residents, rather than just saying people.

A violent incident was reported.

We can see subject-specific vocabulary like suspect, breaking, and entering, and some more journalistic language as per the details begin to emerge.

Once you have checked your writing against the success criteria, you can tick it off.

Well done for your fantastic writing of the opening.

We've now come to the end of our lesson.

So let's go over a summary together.

The opening paragraph of a journalistic report provides an overview of the news event.

The opening answers the questions what, where, when, and who.

Formal and subject-specific vocabulary is used to write the opening of a journalistic report.

The use of formal language creates a serious, factual, and objective tone.

And a relative complex sentence allows the writer to provide extra detail about the people involved.

Well done again for all of your hard work learning.

I've really enjoyed teaching you.