Lesson video

Hi everyone.

My name is Ms. Voyle and welcome to today's lesson where you are going to be writing a section of a narrative based on "The Borrowers." You have already written a plan for this section and it's important that you use this to support you with your writing today.

Pause the video and make sure you have your plan with you now.

Great.

Now I know you have your plan with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to and you will also need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for your writing.

I hope you are feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is I can write a section of the buildup of "The Borrowers." Here are the key words for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn.

Your turn.

Atmosphere, suspense, rhetorical question, fronted adverbial.

Great job.

Well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

The atmosphere refers to the tone or mood created in a text.

Suspense is when you are feeling anxious or excited about what may happen.

A rhetorical question is a question asked to the reader that does not expect an answer, and a fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write and in the second part you will be writing a section of the buildup.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

Your narrative writing needs to include the following linguistic features, precise and ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language.

This should include a range of verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and nouns.

You should have a range of sentence types including the use of fronted, adverbials, fronted, adverbials of time, place and manner, and you should include a rhetorical question.

This is to convey Arrietty's thoughts.

Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.

We can use the notes from our plan to form full sentences.

These notes contain precise vocabulary and show and tell ideas.

Here's an example of some of the notes we created for paragraph one, where you will convey a shift in atmosphere when Arrietty spots something that alarms her.

We want vocabulary that conveys a peaceful atmosphere to begin with, like freedom to explore, vibrant, colourful flowers, show and tell like her eyes lit up with wonder and then there is a shift.

So we might say she saw something unusual in the grass, caught a glimpse, gasped, worried feeling in stomach.

The following model contains a range of fronted adverbials, listen carefully.

I will read it to you.

Overjoyed, Arrietty explored her new found freedom in the great outdoors.

She happily skipped as she made her way through fresh emerald grass.

On the other side, she settled at the base of a tree and she began to examine the nature around her.

Just then, she spotted a strange thing leering at her through the grass.

What was it? She was unsure but she was alarmed.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

Can you spot them in this model? Pause the video and see if you can find the fronted adverbials now.

Hopefully you spotted overjoyed, which is a fronted adverbial of manner.

On the other side, which is a fronted adverbial of place and just then, which is a fronted adverbial of time.

Fronted adverbials provide greater detail about the main clause that follows and they support text flow.

Let's take a look at some more examples of fronted adverbials of time.

First, in the midday sun.

Just then.

Here are some more examples of fronted adverbials of place, at the base of a tree, through the grass, and here are some examples of fronted adverbials of manner.

Curiously, excitedly, full of energy.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the fronted adverbial to the appropriate main clause.

The fronted adverbials are A, excitedly, B, in the midday sun and C through the grass.

The main clauses are Arrietty laid out on the grass and basked in the rays.

She caught sight of something unusual and concerning.

Arrietty ran through the luscious grass towards the base of a tree.

Pause the video and matched the front adverbial to the appropriate main clause now.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

A, excitedly, Arrietty ran through the luscious grass towards the base of a tree.

B, in the midday sun, Arrietty laid out on the grass and basked in the rays, and C through the grass, she caught sight of something unusual and concerning.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of different types of fronted adverbials.

This model also contains a rhetorical question.

I will read it to you one more time.

Overjoyed, Arrietty explored her newfound freedom in the great outdoors.

She happily skipped as she made her way through fresh emerald grass.

On the other side, she settled at the base of a tree and she began to examine the nature around her.

Just then, she spotted a strange thing leering at her through the grass.

What was it? She was unsure but she was alarmed.

A rhetorical question is a question asked to the reader that does not expect an answer.

Can you spot the rhetorical question in this model? Well done.

The rhetorical question is, what was it? Let's learn a bit more about rhetorical questions.

Rhetorical questions can be used to convey a character's thoughts.

Rhetorical questions are not meant to be answered by the reader, but they may be followed up or answered by the author.

Here are some examples.

What was it? She couldn't work it out.

Why was it staring at her? She felt incredibly uneasy.

Was she in danger? She certainly felt like she was.

These rhetorical questions convey Arrietty's internal questions and worries.

Let's check your understanding.

True or false? A rhetorical question is meant to be answered by the reader.

Pause the video and select your answer.

That is false.

Well done.

Now it's time to justify your answer.

A, rhetorical questions can be used to convey a character's thoughts in narrative writing or B, rhetorical questions are meant to make the reader laugh.

Pause the video and select the correct justification.

The answer is A, well done.

Rhetorical questions can be used to convey a character's thoughts in narrative writing.

Using a range of sentences in our writing helps with text flow.

Let's take a look at the different sentence types that have been used in this model.

The first sentence is an example of a simple sentence.

It contains one main clause, overjoyed, which is a fronted adverbial of manner.

Arrietty explored her new found freedom in the great outdoors.

That is one main clause.

The following sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the main clause, she happily skipped and is then followed by an adverbial subordinate clause, as she made her way through fresh emerald grass.

The adverbial subordinate clause relies on the main clause to make sense.

Then we can see an example of a compound sentence.

Here, the coordinating conjunction and has been used to join two main clauses.

We have on the other side, which is a fronted adverbial.

Then we have the first main clause.

She settled at the base of a tree, the coordinating conjunction and followed by the second main clause, she began to examine the nature around her.

Let's look at the rules for simple and compound sentences.

A sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea is called a simple sentence.

It contains one main clause.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction, main clause, coordinating conjunction and, or, or but followed by another main clause.

Let's now look at the rules for an adverbial complex sentence.

When an adverbial subordinate clause is joined to a main clause, it makes an adverbial complex sentence.

The main clause can come fast and be followed by the adverbial subordinate clause or the adverbial subordinate clause can come at the beginning of the sentence, and if the main clause follows the adverbial subordinate clause, then a comma must be used to separate them.

An adverbial clause must begin with a subordinating conjunction, for example, as, when, so.

These subordinating conjunctions will be useful for your narrative writing.

Let's check your understanding, match the sentence types to the correct example.

For sentence types, we have A, simple sentence, B, compound sentence, C, adverbial complex sentence, and for the examples we have, as she made her way through the fresh emerald grass, she took a joyful skip.

Arrietty was unsure what it was, but she felt alarmed.

And overjoyed, Arrietty explored the garden.

Pause the video and match these now, let's take a look at the answers together.

This simple sentence is overjoyed, Arrietty explored the garden.

This sentence contains one main clause.

The compound sentence is, Arrietty was unsure what it was, but she felt alarmed.

This sentence contains the coordinating conjunction, but to join two main clauses and the adverbial complex sentence is, as she made her way through the fresh emerald grass, she took a joyful skip.

Here the adverbial subordinate clause comes fast as she made her way through the fresh emerald grass and then a comma has been used to separate it from the main clause.

She took a joyful skip.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of the different sentence types.

It's now time for your first task and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of your narrative writing.

Make sure you use your plan and include the following.

Convey a shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

You should include a range of sentence types including the use of fronted adverbials, and you should include a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts.

You can use these sentence scaffolds to help you.

You could begin with a fronted adverbial of manner followed by the main clause that begins Arrietty enjoyed the freedom of, here, complete the main clause.

Then the next sentence could begin as she ventured through the, here, complete the adverbial subordinate clause.

She, here complete the main clause, pause the video and practise orally rehearsing your sentences now.

Welcome back.

You did a great job at orally rehearsing your sentences and I really enjoyed listening to you.

Let's take a look at a good example together.

Happily, Arrietty enjoyed the freedom of exploring the outside world.

As she ventured through the soft fresh grass, she took a little leap of excitement.

Before long, she arrived at an impressive tree and she laid down to soak up the sun.

Just then she noticed something alarming.

Through the grass, there was an unusual object leering at her.

What could it be? So for a shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere, this begins by saying that Arrietty enjoyed the freedom of exploring the outside world.

It describes the grass as soft and fresh and says she took a little leap of excitement.

She arrived at an impressive tree and lay down to soak up the sun.

This all sounds really peaceful and relaxing, and then it shifts to a more concerning atmosphere.

It says she noticed something alarming.

Through the grass, there was an unusual object leering at her, but a range of sentence types, including the use fronted adverbials.

The first sentence is an example of a simple sentence and it begins with a fronted adverbial of manner.

Happily.

The following sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the adverbial subordinate clause as she ventured through the soft fresh grass.

The sentence following that is an example of a compound sentence because it uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses and it also begins with a fronted adverbial of time, before long, and for a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts, at the end we can see the rhetorical question.

What could it be? This conveys that Arrietty did not yet know what she was looking at.

Well done again for orally rehearsing your sentences.

I hope you're feeling really ready to begin your writing.

It's now time for the second and most exciting part of our lesson where you are going to be writing your section of the buildup.

When we write, we always try to do these things, plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules, vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Listen carefully.

I will read it to you.

I have conveyed the shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

You will do this in paragraph one.

I have used show and tell to convey Arrietty's fear and build suspense.

You will do this in paragraph two.

I have written a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts and I have written a range of sentence types and included at least two fronted adverbials.

I am now going to model writing the beginning of this section of the buildup and then we will check it against the success criteria.

Okay, so I have my plan over here to support me with my writing.

I have my plan for paragraph one and paragraph two, and I developed precise vocabulary and show and tell for each paragraph.

Over here, I have my success criteria.

Let's read through it.

I have conveyed the shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

I will do this in paragraph one.

I have used show and tell to convey Arrietty's fear and build suspense.

I will do this In paragraph two, I have written a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts and I have written a range of sentence types and included at least two fronted adverbials.

I have already begun writing paragraph one.

Let's take a look at it together.

As Arrietty enjoyed her freedom to explore, her eyes lit up with wonder, she blissfully ran through the grass and she admired the vibrant, colourful flowers.

Content, she basked in the sun by the base of a floral tree.

Here I have focused on conveying that peaceful atmosphere.

But let's take a look at my plan.

It says that I should be conveying a shift in atmosphere when Arrietty spots something that alarms her.

So I want my next sentence to convey a shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

I am going to begin with the fronted adverbial of time just then and now I'm going to go back over to my plan to see which vocabulary I can use.

Oh, I can spot caught a glimpse.

Okay, so just then, Arrietty caught a glimpse.

What did she catch a glimpse of? Let's go over here.

An unusual thing.

Hmm.

Just then, Arrietty caught a glimpse of an unusual thing, I want to say where through the grass, let's write that out.

Just then, Arrietty caught a glimpse of an unusual thing through the grass.

Great.

Now I definitely at this point want to use some show and tell to let the reader know how Arrietty was feeling.

So she was unsure.

She was unsure of what she had seen, but it certainly alarmed her.

She developed a worried feeling in her stomach.

Okay, great.

She was unsure of what she had seen or spotted.

I like spotted.

That's a more precise verb.

She was unsure of what she had spotted, but it certainly alarmed her.

Full stop and now I want that piece of show and tell.

So she developed a worried feeling in her stomach, a worried feeling grew in her stomach.

I like that one.

A worried feeling grew in her stomach.

Great.

Let's read that again.

So as Arrietty enjoyed her freedom to explore, her eyes lit up with wonder, she blissfully ran through the grass and she admired the vibrant, colourful flowers.

Content, she basked in the sun by the base of a floral tree.

So that's conveying the peaceful atmosphere.

Just then, Arrietty caught a glimpse of an unusual thing through the grass.

She was unsure of what she had spotted, but it certainly alarmed her.

Oh, now this is a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction, but, and when I use that conjunction I need a comma before it.

And then the final sentence, a worried feeling grew in her stomach.

Great.

I have definitely conveyed that shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

So I can tick that.

Let's see if I've met the other points so far.

Now this point on the success criteria is about paragraph two, so I can come back to that.

Here, I have written a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts.

Hmm.

Now I haven't done that.

What question could I include here? So she's seen something and it's alarmed her and she has a worried feeling in her stomach.

Maybe I could say, what was it or what could it be? I like, what could it be? Let's add that in now.

What could it be? Question mark.

Now I've definitely written a rhetorical question.

Let's check for a range of different sentence types.

So the first sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence using the adverbial subordinate clause as Arrietty enjoyed her freedom to explore.

I then have an example of a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction and, and then I can see a simple sentence containing one main clause.

She basked in the sun by the base of a floral tree.

So I've definitely met this point too, but I'm going to wait and come back and tick these once I've checked my second paragraph for them.

Right.

It's now time to begin paragraph two.

Let's remind ourselves the purpose of paragraph two.

It says that I need to be conveying intensifying emotions for Arrietty as she realises she has seen an eye of a human.

Okay, so paragraph one finished with saying what could it be? That was the rhetorical question before she'd realised what it was.

We want to start by giving some clues before she realises it is an eye.

So she notices it is a round glassy ball.

How could I say this? Arrietty examined this round glassy ball.

I think I'd like to start with a fronted adverbial as well because that's a key part of my success criteria.

I'd like a fronted adverbial of manner.

How about transfixed? That shows that Arrietty's eyes were really focused on this round glassy ball.

Transfixed, Arrietty examined this round glassy ball.

Great.

Then I want to say what she noticed about it as she started to realise that it could be an eye.

So it was reflecting the sunlight.

Hmm.

Okay.

So first she noticed how the sunlight reflected off it.

Great.

And I've used the fronted adverbial of time there first.

Then I might want to use the fronted adverbial of time then to give the next clue.

Okay, so then we have sweeping of eyelashes.

Then she saw a sudden sweeping of eyelashes.

That is a clue that really lets us know.

She has realised it is an eye.

Then she saw a sudden sweeping of eyelashes.

Okay, great.

So she now knows it's an eye.

Could we have another rhetorical question here? What about, could it really be? And then a short and simple sentence.

It was an eye! Exclamation mark.

So I have really started to convey the gradual noticing that this is an eye, but I also want to convey intensifying emotions.

So this would be a great place to include, show and tell.

What about panic surged through Arrietty's body.

Okay.

Panic surged through Arrietty's body.

Hmm.

Now I could keep that as a simple sentence, but actually I could also turn it into an adverbial complex sentence, including some more precise vocabulary.

How about panic surged through Arrietty's body as she realised it was the colossal eye of a human being.

Great, so I'm gonna cross that full stop out.

Put a comma.

Oh, I do not need a comma if the adverbial subordinate clause comes second.

Okay.

So panic surged through Arrietty's body as she realised it was the colossal eye of a human being.

Great.

Now I might want to continue paragraph two, adding some more examples of show and tell.

But I can already tick these points on my success criteria because I know that I have included a range of sentence types.

I have included rhetorical questions in both paragraphs and I have used show and tell.

Now I would also want to read over my writing and check it carefully to make sure I haven't made any mistakes.

One example that I have already spotted when scanning through my writing is that I duplicated the word of so I would want to cross one of those out.

That's just one example of how reading over our writing can help us check for any mistakes and edit and make improvements.

It's now your turn to write, indent the first sentence of paragraph one and use the success criteria and your plan to help you write paragraph one of the buildup.

Pause the video and do your writing now.

Welcome back.

Well done for working so hard on paragraph one.

Let's take a look at a good example together.

As she explored the great outdoors, Arrietty could not believe the freedom she felt.

Full of energy, she sprinted through the fresh tall grass and towards the base of a floral tree.

She was captivated by the nature that surrounded her.

Arrietty layed back to soak up the sun and her face glowed with joy.

Just then she caught sight of something strange leering at her through the grass.

What was it? It wasn't entirely clear, but it's definitely unsettled Arrietty.

She felt a nervousness in her stomach.

Let's check this writing against the success criteria.

For I have conveyed the shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere.

We can see that this paragraph begins with vocabulary like the freedom she felt.

It says she was captivated by the nature that surrounded her.

She lay back to soak up the sun and her face glowed with joy.

All of this vocabulary conveys a very peaceful and joyous atmosphere for Arrietty.

It then shifts and it says she caught sight of something strange leering at her.

It definitely unsettled Arrietty.

She felt a nervousness in her stomach.

So this has definitely conveyed the shift from a peaceful to a concerning atmosphere and we can tick that point.

For I have written a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts.

We can see the rhetorical question.

What was it? This conveys that Arrietty was not sure what she was looking at.

So we can take that point and for I have written a range of sentence types and included at least two fronted adverbials.

The first sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

It begins with the adverbial subordinate clause as she explored the great outdoors.

Further down we have an example of a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction, and, and after that we have an example of a simple sentence.

She was captivated by the nature that surrounded her.

We can also see at least two examples of fronted adverbials, full of energy.

That's a fronted adverbial of manner and just then, that's a fronted adverbial of time.

So we can tick that point.

It's now time for you to continue your writing.

Indent the first sentence of paragraph two.

Use the success criteria and your plan to help you write paragraph two of the buildup.

You have already written paragraph one, so we can tick this point.

Pause the video and do your writing now.

Welcome back, well done again for your hard work and concentration completing this section of the buildup.

Let's take a look at a good example of paragraph two together.

Stunned, Arrietty froze and remained utterly silent.

First, her attention was drawn to the way the light reflected off the glassy surface of this object.

Then just for a second, this surface disappeared behind a blink.

It was an eye.

Why was it so huge though? Panic surged through Arrietty's body as she realised it must be the eye of a human being.

What would happen to her? Her pulse raced, but she tried to remain calm enough to plan her escape.

Let's check this against the success criteria, for I have used show and tell to convey Arrietty's fear and build suspense.

We can see it begins by saying she froze and remained utterly silent and then further down, after she realises that she's looking at an eye of a human being, it says that panic surged through her body.

And then finally it says her pulse raced, all great examples of show and tell that build the suspense, so we can tick that.

For I have written a rhetorical question to convey Arrietty's thoughts.

We can see two examples.

Why was it so huge though? And what would happen to her? So we can tick that point.

And for I have written a range of sentence types and included at least two fronted adverbials.

We can see lots of fronted adverbials here.

Stunned, a fronted adverbial of manner and then fast, and then are both fronted adverbials of time.

We can see a good example of a simple sentence.

It was an eye.

An example of an adverbial complex sentence using the adverbial subordinate clause as she realised it must be the eye of a human being.

And the final sentence is an example of a compound sentence.

This time using the coordinating conjunction, but to join two main clauses.

So we can tick that final point.

We've now come to the end of our lesson.

So let's go over a summary together.

In this section of the buildup, the suspense heightens when Arrietty encounters the eye of a human being.

The use of precise and ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language supports the building of suspense.

Rhetorical questions can be used to convey a character's inner thoughts.

A fronted adverbial of time, place, or manner indicates when, where, or how action in the rest of a sentence takes place.

And using a range of sentence types supports text flow.

Well done again for your fantastic hard work, completing this section of the buildup.

I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching you.