Lesson video

Hi everybody, I'm Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to the next lesson from our unit, "The Happy Prince:" reading and narrative writing.

I'm really looking forward to today's lesson because we are going to start writing our version of "The Happy Prince." So let's get started.

In today's lesson, from our unit, "The Happy Prince:" reading and narrative writing, we are going to be writing the first section of our narrative.

So your learning outcome is, I can write the opening of "The Happy Prince." Let's start by looking at the key words.

We're going to do my turn, your turn.

Text flow.

Fronted adverbial.

Past tense.

Direct speech.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

Past tense shows that the action happened before now.

And we write direct speech to show that a character is speaking out loud in a text.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first, we'll be preparing to write, and in the second, we'll be writing the opening.

So let's start with preparing to write.

"The Happy Prince" narrative can be structured like this.

We can have an opening, then a buildup, then the climax, and then finally, the resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the opening.

The purpose of the opening is to do all of these, engage the reader, introduce the characters, and introduce the setting.

So where the story is placed.

So checking for understanding.

Which of these would not be described in the opening of a narrative? A, the main characters, B, the problem, or C, the setting.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is B.

We don't describe the problem in the opening of a narrative.

Well done.

So these are the notes with we've included on our plan.

We use loads of precise verbs and adjectives, figurative language and fronted adverbials to describe the key moments of the opening.

These included the first moment where we described the statue of a prince overlooking the city.

Then we described the moment that the bird flew the city, flew through the city looking for somewhere to rest.

And then we described the third key moment where the statue started crying and asked the bird to help him, and we included some dialogue there as well.

We are going to use these notes from our plan to help us write a range of full sentences in our opening.

So this section needs to include the following, ambitious vocabulary, precise adjectives, adverbs, and verbs, sentences written in the past tense because this has happened in the past.

Fronted adverbials including time, place, and manner, figurative language, direct speech, and for text flow, we want to include a range of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

We can use the notes from our plan to help us form full sentences.

These notes are really useful because they contain precise and descriptive vocabulary that create this really vivid picture for the reader.

So for example, on the first key moment, we thought of three fronted adverbials above the far city, in the middle of the quiet city, proudly to describe how the the statue stood.

We came up with some precise verbs, adverbs, and adjectives.

So inky-black, serene sky, the golden statue that was adorned, so covered with dazzling jewels.

And we included some figurative language on our plans, some personification.

We said the sky held a luminous moon.

The statue vigilantly guarded, and, or stood proudly.

These are personification because we've given human qualities to a non-human object.

But as you can see, these are all in note form.

They're not written in full sentences.

So we need to now think about using these notes and including them in a range of sentence types.

So for example, a serene, inky-black sky held a luminous moon in its grasp.

In the middle of the city, a statue of a prince stood proudly as it vigilantly guarded the city.

It was covered in gold and it had dazzling jewels adorning it.

So you can see there, I've not just copied off my plan exactly.

I've used some ideas from my plan, but then put them into full sentences.

So I check it for understanding.

True or false, when I write the opening, I can just copy out my plan.

Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, I should use the notes in my plan to form a range of sentences.

Or B, I should reorder the events from my plan.

Pause the video now.

That is A.

We don't want to reorder the events from our plan because they're in chronological order already, and we can use the notes to help form full sentences.

So let's look at these different sentence types formed from the plan from that first key moment in a bit more detail.

Our first sentence was made of one main clause to form a simple sentence.

Then we had an adverbial clause that stretched a main clause to form an adverbial complex sentence.

And then finally, we have a coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses.

So we have now a compound sentence.

We know we want to include a range of sentence types to improve text flow.

And just the first key moment, we've included a simple, complex, and compound sentence from our plan.

So let's just recap the rules now of simple and compound sentences.

A sentence made of one main clause with one idea is called a simple sentence.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses which are joined by a coordinating conjunction.

And the coordinating conjunctions are and, or, and but.

A complex sentence is formed of a main clause stretched with a subordinate adverbial clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction like because, as, while, or when.

So these things together form a complex sentence.

So let's look now at a main clause and a subordinate clause.

A serene sky held a luminous moon in its grasp.

That's your main clause.

It makes sense by itself.

While the city beneath it was tranquil and still.

That's your subordinate clause.

It doesn't make sense by itself, and it starts with the subordinating conjunction, while.

The first idea can be stretched with the second idea to make one complex sentence.

Let's have a look.

An inky-black serene sky held a luminous moon in its grasp while the city beneath it was tranquil and still.

So you can see just in this complex sentence alone, we have an expanded noun phrase, the inky-black serene sky.

We have personification because the sky is holding something, so that's personification.

We have a subordinating conjunction, while.

And then we have some really ambitious adjectives, tranquil and still.

So this is a really nice descriptive, complex sentence which has created a vivid image in the reader's mind of that opening moment of the setting, the night sky and the city.

So checking for understanding, true or false.

This is a complex sentence, as the statute guarded the city vigilantly, a meek, frail bird arrived.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, the subordinate clause starts with the subordinating conjunction, as, and it is joined to a main clause.

B, a complex sentence contains two clauses.

Pause the video now.

That is A.

As the statute guard of the city vigilantly is a subordinating clause starting with the subordinating conjunction, as.

A meek, frail bird arrived is your main clause.

So this is a complex sentence.

Well done.

So dialogue is the written conversation between two characters or more within a narrative.

It's as used to help move the action forward in a narrative.

Here is the most important dialogue in the opening.

"Why are you crying?" The bird asked.

"I used to be carefree, but now, all I see is suffering," replied the prince.

"Will you help me?" The prince asked the bird.

So we want to include these lines of dialogue in our opening writing today.

So we use direct speech in our writing to show that a character is speaking out loud.

Each time there is a new speaker, you start a new line.

So it's really clear that someone new is speaking.

"Why are you crying?" Asked the bird.

"I used to be carefree, but now, all I see is suffering," sighed the prince sadly.

"Will you help me?" The prince begged.

All of those words in purple are the words that the character said out loud.

Those are the speech.

This is called direct speech.

Direct speech is shown to the reader using inverted commas, and they look like this.

The inverted commas tell us where the words the character said begin and end.

So the speech first sentence always follows the same steps.

"Why are you crying?" Asked the bird caringly.

We have at the start of the speech inverted commas.

Then you have a capital letter to start your speech.

Then you have the speech, "Why are you crying?" Then you have some punctuation.

This time, it's a question mark because it is a question.

Then you have your closing inverted commas.

Then your reporting clause.

So this tells the reader who is saying the words.

And then you have a full stop 'cause it is the end of a sentence.

The reporting clause can start with the speaker or the said word.

So you could say, asked the bird caringly, or you could say, the bird caringly asked, either work.

So check in for understanding.

What needs to be added to this sentence to follow the rules for a speech first sentence? "I used to be carefree, but now, all I see is suffering," sighed the prince sadly.

So think about what punctuation you need to include in this direct speech sentence.

Pause the video now.

Okay, let's go through it.

So we need to have inverted commas at the start.

Then we need to have a capital letter for I because it's the first word in the speech.

Then we have our speech.

Then we need to have punctuation.

This time, it's going to be a comma.

Then you have your closing inverted commas.

Then you have your reporting clause, and then you have a full stop.

Okay, if you need to, you can pause the video and have another look.

Go at rewriting this speech first sentence with the correct punctuation, but otherwise, really well done.

So it's time for task A.

You now need to say the first few sentences of the opening.

Make sure you include the following, precise and ambitious vocabulary from your plan including figurative language, fronted adverbials, a range of sentence types including and adverbial complex sentence.

You can use these sentence scaffolds to help you.

Above the vast city, and then you can continue into your main clause after that fronted adverbial.

And, as the golden statue vigilantly guard the streets.

So making sure you're using your plan to help you.

And you have a go now at saying these sentences out loud.

Off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody, welcome back.

Let's read these sentences out loud together and check if we've included everything that's needed.

Above the vast city, a golden statue adorned with dazzling jewels stood proudly.

As the golden statue vigilantly guarded the streets, a meek, frail bird arrived and perched on the statue's feet.

So, precise and ambitious vocabulary, including figurative language, have I included that? I did.

I said, "A golden statue was adorned with dazzling jewels." Lovely descriptive adjectives there.

And I said that it was stood proudly, so personification.

And then vigilantly guarded is more personification.

So that's the figurative language.

And then meek, frail, perched, these are all really precise vocabulary choices.

Fronted adverbials, I used fronted adverbial of place above the vast city to explain where the action is happening.

And then a range of sentence types, including an adverbial complex sentence? I did.

My first sentence and my final sentence was simple.

And then I have my adverbial complex sentence, "As the statute vigilantly guarded its streets, a meek, frail bird arrived." So a range of sentence types.

So if you need to, you can pause the video and say these sentences again.

Otherwise, thank you for helping me check.

And it's time to move on to the second part of today's lesson where we are going to be writing the opening.

When we write, we always try to do these things, plan and say each sentence before we write it, use punctuation where we know the rules, showcase each sentence type we know.

It's a simple, compound, complex.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately.

Check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

Here's the success criteria you're going to use in your writing today to help make sure you've included everything you need to to make this a really successful piece of writing.

Let's go through it.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I have used ambitious vocabulary including figurative language.

I have written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

And I have included direct speech sentences with correct punctuation.

So first, I'm going to write the first few sentences of the opening, and you will help me check that I've used the success criteria.

<v ->Okay, so you can see I started</v> by sticking in my success criteria at the top of the page.

Let's just go through it so we really know what we need to include in the opening.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I have used ambitious vocabulary including figurative language.

I have written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

And I have included direct speech sentences with correct punctuation.

So I've started by writing my first sentence.

High above the vast city.

That's my fronted adverbial of place.

A statue of a golden, dazzling prince vigilantly guarded the quiet streets.

So let's carry on.

One starry night, that's my fronted adverbial of time, and I've remembered my comma after it.

What happened? I'm going to think about looking at my plan to help me there.

My, one starry night, a gentle bird.

It didn't just sit on the statue, did it? I'm gonna use a bit more of a precise verb choice.

I'm going to say, perched, a gentle bird perched on the statue's feet.

Now, the statue possesses the feet.

So I need to remember a type of punctuation.

I can wonder if you can remember what it's called.

The statue's feet.

That's right, it's an apostrophe for possession.

The apostrophe comes before the S.

I want to now use a compound sentence 'cause I've used simple here.

So I'm going to use the conjunction, and.

And it, what did it do? It was really tired, wasn't it? The bird.

So it lay its head, lay its.

Maybe we can use some adjectives to describe the head 'cause we want to use as much descriptive vocabulary as we can.

It's soft.

I'm going to use an expanded now phrase here, weary.

So I've remembered my comma in between the two adjectives.

Head down.

That's the end of my compound sentence.

So what do I need at the end of a sentence, everybody? We need a full stop.

Well done.

Okay, then we need to describe the moment that he realised, the bird realised the bird was crying.

And it was quite sudden, wasn't it? He felt this teardrop.

So I'm going to use the fronted adverbial, all of a sudden, that I can see on my plan.

All of a sudden, a teardrop fell.

Maybe we can be more ambitious, more descriptive, maybe plummeted.

I like plummeted.

Plummeted next to the bird.

And so what did he see? He looked up and he saw the eyes brimming with tears, didn't he? Which was a really sad moment.

And he sees the prince's eyes brimming, and I'm going to say brimming with tears.

'cause that's a really nice example of show not tell language.

It's showing that the prince was upset by describing his eyes filling with tears rather than just saying the prince was upset, brimming with tears.

It's the end of my sentence so we need a full stop.

Okay, let's go back.

Read it back and check if there's any errors and just check it makes sense.

All of a sudden, oh, I can see there.

That's my fronted adverbial of time.

What punctuation do I need after that? We need a comma.

Well done.

A teardrop plummeted next to the bird and he sees, we know this is in the past.

We're writing a narrative that I said in the past tense, in the past so we need to use the past tense.

So I need to change that too.

And he saw, so I can just neatly cross that.

And he saw the prince's eyes brimming with tears.

There is a piece of punctuation missing there.

I wonder if you've spotted it.

We had to use one a bit earlier in our opening.

The prince's, the prince possesses the eyes.

So we need an apostrophe for possession.

Well done.

Okay, now, we want to move the action forward.

So we're going to use some dialogue.

The bird asked why the prince was crying, didn't he? So we're going to start a new line because it is a new speaker, someone is speaking, and we need to remember our speech punctuation.

So whenever we do speech, we need to have inverted commas to signal the start and the end of the words that are being spoken.

Your speech needs to start with a capital letter.

"Why are you crying?" So that's the end of the speech.

We need to have punctuation.

It can either be a comma, exclamation mark, or a question mark.

Why are you crying is a? Question, that's right.

So we need to have a question mark.

"Why are you crying?" Now, we've used our opening pair of inverted commas, now, we need our closing pair to show that the spoken words, the direct speech has come to an end.

"Why are you crying?" The bird.

We could say, gently asked, but we've actually already used gentle.

So I'm going to use another adverb.

The bird asked with concern.

That's going to be my adverb, describing how he asked, with concern.

This is the end of my speech first sentence.

So I need a? Full stop.

Well done.

Okay, let's just quickly see what we can tick off my success criteria.

And then you are going to go and independently write your opening, and you'll be able to carry on with the next lines of dialogue.

So have I written at least two fronted adverbials? I had high above the vast city, one starry night, and all of a sudden.

So I can give myself a tick.

Have I used ambitious vocabulary? I had golden, dazzling, starry, soft, weary, plummeted, brimming with tears.

Yes, so definitely ambitious.

And figurative language? I said that the prince was vigilantly guarding, which a prince, a statue can't do.

So that's personification.

So I can give myself a tick.

Have I written a range of sentence types? I have.

I have a simple sentence here, a compound sentence here, and another compound sentence.

I haven't included a complex sentence yet, so I'm not going to give myself a tick just yet.

But if I were to carry on writing, that's what I'd be focusing on.

And then have I included direct speech with correct punctuation? I have.

I've said, "Why are you crying?" And I had my inverted commas, capital letters, question mark, and then another inverted comma before the reported clause.

If I were to write a response, what the prince said, I'd make sure I was starting a new line 'cause we know that new speaker means the start of a new line.

So this is the first few sentences of my opening, but I'm gonna stop there now, and you'll be able to carry on writing the rest independently.

Okay, it is time for task B, and it's your turn to write.

In a moment, you're going to pause the video and you'll indent the first sentence.

Then use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.

So pause the video now and off you go writing your opening.

Okay, well done, everybody, welcome back.

In a moment, you're going to read your writing back to check it makes sense and for any errors, and you'll tip your success criteria as you find an example of each part of it, like in this example.

So I'm going to read it out loud, and as I'm reading, you can rechecking which parts of the success criteria we can tick off.

In the middle of the vast city, a statue of a golden prince stood proudly watching over the quiet streets below.

One night, the statue was guarding the city vigilantly when a meek, frail bird arrived.

He perched on the statue's feet.

As the bird lay his soft weary head down, a single droplet of water landed on him out of nowhere.

He looked up and he saw the prince's bright blue eyes brimming with tears.

"Why are you crying?" Asked the swallow caringly.

"I used to be carefree, but now, all I see is that sadness.

Will you help me change that?" The prince begged the bird.

With a nod, the compassionate creature agreed to help the prince.

So have I included two fronted adverbials? I did.

I had in the middle of the vast city and one night.

So I can give myself a tick.

So ambitious vocabulary? I've had lots of ambitious vocabulary from my plan, and I included some figurative language.

I said the prince stood proudly.

It's 'cause it's a statue, so that's personification.

And it was guarding the city, so more personification.

So I can give myself a tick.

A range of sentence types.

I have simple, I had a complex, and I have a compound.

So I can give myself a tick.

And then direct speech with my correct punctuation? I did.

You can see the inverted commas, the capital letters, and I remembered to use new speaker, new line.

So I can give myself a tick for correctly punctuated speech.

Okay, now, you can pause the video and go through your success criteria, checking that you've included everything you needed to in your opening.

Off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Great job.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned today.

The purpose of the opening is to engage the reader and introduce the setting and characters.

We use notes from our plan to form full sentences.

Using a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex improves text flow for the reader.

We use direct speech to show that a character is speaking out loud and to move the action forward.

And an adverbial clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction is joined to a main clause to form an adverbial complex sentence.

Great job today, everybody.

Well done.