Lesson video

Hi, everybody.

It's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to our next lesson from our unit Jabberwocky: Narrative Writing.

I'm really looking forward to today's lesson because we're going to get started with some planning so that we can start writing our narrative version of Jabberwocky.

So thank you for joining today's lesson, and let's get started.

In today's lesson from our unit Jabberwocky: Narrative Writing, we are going to be planning our first paragraph of our narrative story.

So your learning outcome is, I can plan the opening of narrative based on Jabberwocky.

So let's start by looking at the key words.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Plan.

Notes.

Ambitious vocabulary.

Show-not-tell language.

Dialogue.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

A plan is a framework that writers create before they write a section or a whole text.

Notes are written out of full sentences.

Ambitious vocabulary is high-level language in writing that meets the text's purpose.

Show-not-tell language is a writing technique for showing a character's feelings with description of their actions, body language, and facial expressions.

Dialogue is the written out conversation between two characters or more within a narrative.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first, we'll be preparing to plan, and in the second, we'll be writing the plan.

So let's start with preparing to plan.

Jabberwocky can be structured like this.

We'll have an opening, a buildup, the climax, and then the resolution.

In today's lesson, we are planning the opening.

So why do we need to have an opening? What is the purpose? The purpose of the opening is to do all of these, engage the reader, hook them in, and make them want to carry on reading.

Introduce the characters.

And introduce the setting, so where the story is taking place.

In the opening of Jabberwocky, we are introduced to all of these, the setting, so the mythical woods, the enchanted forest, and the characters, so the boy, his father, and the mythical creatures, so the Jubjub bird, the Bandersnatch, and of course, Jabberwock.

So checking for understanding.

The purpose of the opening is, A, to solve a problem, B, to introduce the characters, C, to build up tension, or D, to introduce the setting.

Pause the video now.

So the purpose of the opening is to B, introduce the characters, and D, introduce the setting.

Well done.

So a descriptive opening should enable the reader to picture the setting and the characters in their mind.

And we can achieve this as writers through really precise descriptions, and by using ambitious vocabulary to paint this vivid picture.

Our descriptive opening should also hook the reader in and make them want to carry on reading.

So let's first review the key moments of the opening in the order in which they happen.

So first, "Dusk approached the dark magical woods." So we're describing there the setting of the magical woods.

Then we're describing those mythical creatures.

"The strange, unknown creatures moved around the woods." Then we meet the characters.

"A father warned his son about the dangers of the creatures." And finally, "The boy felt scared, but he bravely entered the woods." And that's where the opening ends.

So checking for understanding.

Put the key moments of the opening in the correct order.

You have the four key moments and you need to number them one, two, three, and four.

Pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, so the first key moment was the setting description of the forest.

"Dusk approached the dark, magical woods." Then number two, describing the creatures.

"Strange, unknown creatures moved around the woods." Then three, "A father warned his son about the strangers of the creatures." Then finally, number four, "The boy felt scared, but he bravely entered the woods." Well done.

So throughout our descriptive opening, we are going to use a range of descriptive language.

Descriptive language includes all of these: figurative language, so metaphors, similes, personification, precise verbs, descriptive adjectives and adverbs, fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner, show-not-tell language, and expanded noun phrases.

And all of these combined helps create a really vivid image in the reader's mind of the characters and the setting.

So we will use the following structure when describing the setting in the opening.

If you imagine it to be like a camera, our first thing we're gonna describe, the first image will be described, will be the most zoomed out image of the sky above, the sky, the mountains, the mist, the clouds.

Then we'll zoom in a bit into the landscape, so the forest, so describing the trees, the leaves, the sunbeams that are trying to break through the trees' canopy.

Then we'll zoom in even further down to the ground level of the forest, where we'll describe the twigs, the branches, the forest floor, and most importantly, those strange and unknown creatures.

So let's start with the sky above the forest, and then the landscape, so the forest itself.

So let's generate some descriptive adjectives we can use to describe the setting.

So we're thinking about describing this moment in much more detail, "Dusk approached the dark, magical woods." So I want you to think about what you can see and what you can hear those senses.

So pause the video now and have a go at describing the sky, the mountains, the clouds, everything above the forest, and then also the forest and the woods itself.

Pause video now, off you go.

Okay, here are some of my ideas.

I wonder if yours was similar at all.

"Mist cloaked the treetops." Some figurative language there of the mist acting like a cloak above the treetops.

Gives the image that there's lots and lots of mist.

So it's almost, you can't, it would be hard to see.

"The sharp mountains pierced the sky." That image of the mountains and the difference with really tall, jaggedy points.

"The dusk encroached." So dusk, nighttime, is approaching, it's coming, it's getting darker and darker.

"The dark, sinister magic swirled." So some really descriptive image there of the magical, mythical nature of the forest.

"The sunbeams tried to break through." They're trying, but their failings are showing how dark this forest is.

And then "The rotten leaves cascaded." Cascaded means falling down, so the idea that these leaves are rotting because this forest is not a place where plants and animals can thrive.

It's a very dark, mythical place.

So checking for understanding.

Which the following are appropriate to describe the setting in the opening of Jabberwocky? A, the cloudless sky glistened above the lively forest.

B, heavy mist blanketed the treetops.

C, the golden sun shone brightly down on the lush forest.

Or D, sharp mountains pierced the dark clouds.

I want to be thinking about which ones create a more negative image of the forest, which is what we're trying to create in our setting description.

Pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, so the ones that describe the setting in a more negative way, where the heavy mist blanketed the treetops, and sharp mountains pierce the dark clouds.

The cloudless sky glistened above the lively forest.

And the golden sun shone brightly down on the lush forest.

Those are such positive images, which create a really luscious and beautiful image of the forest, which is not quite what we're trying to do here in the opening of Jabberwocky.

Well done.

So now, let's review the verbs that we can use to describe how the strange creatures on the ground level moved.

So again, thinking about how they, we might see them moving or hear them moving.

So think recapping some of those verbs we came up with in the previous lesson to describe the mythical creatures.

Pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, so to describe those mythical creatures, we could say they were tormenting the forest, causing pain to everything in the forest.

They were slithering, so moving in a sideways motion like a snake on the forest floor.

They were lurking, so remaining hidden so they could ambush.

So threatening anyone who walked past, they were hiding from, ready to pounce.

Then wriggling, some of the mythical creatures were wriggling around, twisting and turning, moving.

And also writhing, making twisting, squirming movements.

So quite a strange way to describe the animals moving, which makes sense 'cause they are these strange, unknown, mythical creatures.

So check of understanding.

Which the following are appropriate to describe the strange creatures in the opening of Jabberwocky? A, the mythical creatures tormented the heart of the forest.

B, calmly, they lay under the trees' canopy.

C, savage beasts lurked in the dark shadows, ready to pounce on anyone who dared to approach.

Or D, the creatures skipped joyfully as the auburn leaves floated around them.

Again, thinking about the ones which create this negative, sinister image of the creatures in the forest.

Pause the video now and off you go.

So let's go through these.

A, the mythical creatures tormented the heart of the forest, showing that they're causing pain to everything in the forest, these creatures.

And then C, they were lurking in the dark shadows, ready to pounce, much more threatening and negative than B and D, which creates really calm and positive images of the creatures.

Well done.

So there is also some important dialogue that needs to be included in our plan.

Dialogue is really important because it helps to move the story forward.

So we know that the third key moment of the opening is when the father warned his son about the dangers of the creatures.

What did the father say to his son in the opening? If you need to, you can look back through the poem that is in your additional materials.

Pause the video now and discuss this with your partner or whoever you're with.

Off you go.

Okay, so in the poem, Jabberwocky, the father says to his son in the opening, "Beware the Jabberwock my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird and shun the fruminous Bandersnatch!" So these are really important lines of dialogue that we want to think about included.

However, we are writing a narrative story.

We're not writing a poem, we are writing a story.

So we can actually add much more detail to this dialogue than what's in the poem.

So I want to think about what might the father have said about the creatures? What more detail can we add to that dialogue? What do you think he would've, how do you think he might have described the creatures? What else do you think he might have said to his son? Pause video now and have a go at discussing this question.

Okay, here are some possible responses.

"Beware of the brutal, savage Jabberwock.

It is the deadliest beast across the land." Or "Watch out for the cunning Bandersnatch that lurks in the shadows and the vicious Jubjub bird.

They could attack you at any time." So both of these lines of dialogue just give extra description of the creatures to create that image in the reader's mind, and it helps to move the story forward.

So we want to include this in our plan so that we remember to write it in our writes when it comes to writing the opening.

So check of understanding.

Which of the following is not a piece of dialogue that could be found in a narrative opening version of the poem? A, "Beware of the brutal Jabberwock!" B, "Come to my arms, my beamish boy!" C, "Watch out for the cunning Jubjub bird." D, "These savage creatures can pounce at any time." Which one would you not find in the opening? Pause the video now.

That is B, "Come to my arms, my beamish boy!" That comes at the end of the story when he's realised that his son has defeated the Jabberwock.

Well done.

So we can also use show-not-tell language to describe the boy's emotions in this moment of the opening.

"The boy felt scared, but he bravely entered the woods." So we want to avoid just saying he was scared.

We want to think about using show-not-tell language to describe what's happening to his body when he's entering the woods, and he's feeling really nervous 'cause it's much more interesting to do that than just saying he was scared or he was terrified.

So show me what your body language and facial expressions are like when you are scared.

Maybe it'll be something like this.

Okay.

So show me what happens to your face or your body when you are scared.

Pause the video now.

Off you go.

So I wonder if your ideas were similar to this.

His eyes widened.

His eyes widened in fear.

That's what happened to your eyes when you're scared.

His blood ran cold.

So descriptive language of the blood running through his body.

His heart pounded against his chest.

When you're really nervous, your heart can start pounding or thumping against your chest.

Or he tightly gripped his sword.

He's gripping it tightly because he's so scared.

He knows he needs to hold tightly onto his sword to protect himself.

So we can think about including some of this show-not-tell language in our plan.

Checking for understanding.

Which the following shows how the boy is feeling at the end of the opening? A, the young man's eyes lit up.

B, the the boy's eyes widened as his heart thumped in his chest.

C, a smile spread across his face.

D, the youth's eyes filled with tears.

Thinking about the moment that he's walking into the woods, how was he feeling? Which of these shows that? Pause the video now.

That's right, that was B.

His eyes widened in fear as his heart was thumping.

Well done.

Right, it's time for task A.

You need to fill in the blanks with precise and ambitious vocabulary.

I'm going to read out the sentences.

And here are the words from the word bank at the bottom that you can use to fill in the missing words.

Above a vast, mythical forest, heavy mist, blank, the treetops.

As dusk approached, dark, blank, magic swirled through the air.

In the shadows, strange creatures, blank, the heart of the forest.

"Beware of the deadly savage Jabberwock.

It is the, blank, beast across the land," the father warned.

Determinedly, the gallant boy, blank, his trustworthy sword and he bravely headed towards the danger.

Pause the video now, and off you go filling in the missing words.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Let's go through these.

As I read aloud, I want to be able to hear you saying the missing words too.

Above a vast, mystical forest, heavy mist cloaked the treetops.

As dusk approached, dark, sinister magic swirled through the air.

In the shadows, strange creatures tormented the heart of the forest." "Beware of the deadly, savage Jabberwock.

It is the deadliest beast across the land." The father warned.

And determinedly, the gallant boy gripped his trustworthy sword and he bravely headed towards the danger.

Well done.

It's time for the second section of our lesson where we are writing the plan.

When we plan, we use notes.

Notes are concise, so short, and capture the key vocabulary and information.

The purpose of the notes is to help the writer to organise information easily for future use when it comes to writing.

And we use bullet points when note-taking, and they look like this.

So checking for understanding.

What do you need to include in your plan? A, full sentences with capital letters and full stops.

B, bullet points for notes.

C, precise and ambitious vocabulary.

Or D, unnecessary information.

Pause the video now.

Okay, so we need in a plan, B, bullet points for notes, and D, precise and ambitious vocabulary.

Definitely don't need A, full sentences.

We don't write full sentences on our plan.

We don't need any unnecessary information 'cause it's just the most important moments and key and vocabulary that we want to include.

Well done.

So it's time for task B.

We need to fill in the plan now for the first key moment.

The first key moment was that dusk approached the dark, magical woods.

I want you to think about some fronted adverbials you could use of time, place, or manner.

And then some descriptive vocabulary, so precise verbs, adverbs, and adjectives to describe those woods.

And you can use any of the vocabulary that we've been looking at in the first part of this lesson.

So pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, well done.

Welcome back.

I'm going to go through some of my ideas.

If you like them, you can add them to your plan as well.

But don't worry if yours don't look exactly the same.

In fact, that's a good thing.

We want to have different ideas on our plan so that our final outcomes are all different.

But here are some of my ideas.

So fronted adverbials, above a vast mythical forest, in the distance, and slowly.

And then the descriptive vocabulary, so the heavy mist cloaked the bare treetops, towering mountains pierced the grey clouds, dark, sinister magic swirled, and rotten leaves cascaded down.

So if you need to, pause the video and add any of these ideas to your plan.

Otherwise, we are now going to fill in the plan for the second key moment.

So strange, unknown creatures moved around the woods.

So now, we are describing those creatures, the Jabberwock, the Jubjub bird, the Bandersnatch, these strange creatures in this mythical forest, thinking about the verbs that we can use to describe them and adjectives as well.

So adding to your plan, any fronted adverbials, and descriptive vocabulary.

Pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, well done.

Welcome back.

Again, If you want to, you can add any of these ideas to your plan.

And don't worry if yours don't look like this at all.

I'm sure you've all got brilliant ideas too.

So fronted adverbials, below the gnarled, branches, in the shadows, and strangely.

And then the descriptive vocabulary, skeletal twigs snapped and cracked, tormented the heart of the forest, slithering, writhing, wriggling, so there's verbs to describe how they moved, and they instilled fear in everyone.

So if you need to, you can pause the video and add these to your plan.

Otherwise, we are going to move to the third key moment, where the father warned his son about the dangers of the creatures.

This time, you're going to include descriptive vocabulary again, but also, you're going to think about including any dialogue.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Okay.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Here are some of my ideas, which you can add to your plan too if you'd like.

So describing the figures, two apprehensive figures, nervous.

They're in a deep conversation.

The concerned father.

And the son listened intently to his father.

And then the dialogue.

"Beware of the brutal, savage Jabberwock." "It is the deadliest beast across the land." "Watch out for the cunning Bandersnatch and vicious Jubjub bird." And "They can attack you at any time." So these are all the direct speech lines we want to include in our opening.

Okay, if you need to, you can add these to your plan.

Otherwise, we're going to move on to the fourth and final moment of the opening.

This is now going to be the moment we describe how the boy felt.

So the boy felt scared, but he bravely entered the woods.

So again, you can include some fronted adverbials, and also some show-not-tell language to describe the boys' emotions here.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Okay.

Well done, everybody.

So here are some of my ideas to describe this moment.

Quickly, loudly, determinedly, these are my fronted adverbials of manner.

And then the show-not-tell language described the boy.

His eyes widened, his heart thumped against his chest, and he tightly gripped his trustworthy sword.

If you'd like to, you can add these to your plan.

Otherwise, great job on task B.

Okay, here is a summary of everything we've learned today.

The purpose of the opening is to engage the reader and introduce the setting and characters.

When we plan, we log precise and ambitious vocabulary to help paint vivid pictures for our reader.

Dialogue is the written conversation between two characters or more within a narrative fronted.

Fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner can be included in a plan to add extra detail about the action.

And show-not-tell is a writing technique for showing a character's feelings with description of their actions, body language, and facial expressions.

Make sure you keep your plan safely because we are going to need to use it in our next lesson where we are writing the opening.

Well done, everybody.

Great job.