Lesson video

Hello everyone.

My name is Mr. Brown, and I'm here with your English lesson for today and we are going to be editing, editing a persuasive letter all about school uniform.

So let's get to editing, shall we? The outcome for today's lesson is I can edit a persuasive letter about school uniform.

The key words we will use are editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and vocabulary.

Let's say this together.

My turn and then your term.

Editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Perfect.

Let's look at the definitions.

Now, editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Grammar refers to the set of rules that govern a language.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

And vocabulary refers to the language choices made by the writer.

We'll start our lesson by editing punctuation, then move on to editing sentence structure and editing vocabulary and spelling.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and what you'll keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything again, it's about being selective with what you want to improve.

Now, the job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and make improvements to language choices.

And in this lesson, you are going to be editors.

Lemme check your understanding.

Editing is the process of: a, rewriting a whole piece of text, b, making improvements in language choices, c, making improvements to sentence structure, or d, only correcting mistakes.

Pause the video and decide which answers you think are correct now.

Welcome back everyone.

Let's see if you found the right answers.

Well done if you said b and c: making improvements in language choices and to sentence structure is what editing is all about.

You are not, a, rewriting a whole piece of text, absolutely not, and you are not, d, only correcting mistakes.

You are taking what is there and you are upgrading it, not just looking for mistakes.

When we edit punctuation, we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes.

Correct the punctuation mistake in this sentence.

Firstly, I believe having a uniform for all schools would be a good idea because it would be much cheaper for parents and carers as they wouldn't have to buy lots of different clothes.

Does the sentence makes sense? However, we are focusing on punctuation.

So what I would like you to do is to pause the video and look very closely to see if you can spot and correct the punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

Pause the video and have a go now.

Welcome back everyone.

Let's take a look and see if you manage to spot the punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

So first of all, we had a capital letter missing.

This should be the first thing you always check.

Is there a capital letter and is there a full stop? They're the easiest ones to do.

So there was no capital letter, so well done if you spotted that and there was no full stop.

So well done if you spotted that too.

There was also a comma missing after firstly.

Firstly is a type of fronted adverbial, it's a comma after it.

So that was missing.

Well done if you spotted that.

And finally, the word wouldn't was missing an apostrophe between the n and the t to show that the o had been taken out and replaced with an apostrophe.

So well done if you spotted that too.

Commas have several functions.

Let's take a look at this sentence.

Firstly, schoolchildren, who have a lot to think about, would benefit from not having to choose which trousers, t-shirts or shoes to wear.

Okay, so this is a sentence taken from our persuasive letter and we can see there is a comma after a fronted adverbial, there are commas to separate the relative clause from the main clause, and there's a comma to separate common nouns in a list.

Now, I want you to only use a comma when you know the rule, but if you can see when you are editing that there is a comma missing or it's been used incorrectly, then it's important you edit that comma.

Lemme check your understanding.

When are commas used? Is it A, to separate a relative clause from a main clause? B, when you pause in a sentence? C, after a fronted adverbial? Or D, to separate items in a list? Please pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Now, I can tell you that there are actually three correct answers.

So if you only have one or two correct answers, quickly pause the video again and add the correct answers.

There are three.

I hope you're ready.

We are going to move on and reveal which answers are correct.

When are commas used? Commas are used to separate a relative clause from a main clause.

C is a correct answer, after a fronted adverbial.

And D is a correct answer, to separate items in a list.

Well done if you said A, C, and D.

Now, you are going to edit the first argument in your persuasive letter.

When editing, you should check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes.

We are focusing on editing the punctuation in your first argument.

Now, I do have an example of a first argument for you here, but if you have your own first argument from your own writing, then please edit that first.

And if you have time afterwards, then you may wish to come and edit mine.

If you do not have your own to edit, then start with mine of course.

So time for you to pause the video and edit the punctuation in your first argument.

Welcome back.

Let's take a look at the answers.

So firstly, did not have a capital letter, the first letter of the first sentence.

So straight away I hope you spotted that.

There should be a comma after firstly and that was missing.

Now I was not a capital I and when you use an I on its own, it should be a capital.

So well done if you spotted that.

Then we had the apostrophe missing in the word wouldn't.

A full stop missing after the word clothes to show the end of that sentence.

Then finally, the last sentence, we had a capital letter missing for the word furthermore, a comma after furthermore was missing.

That's a fronted adverbial.

Then we had an o.

Now the o in the word down, if we go back to the previous page looked like a capital.

It was too big, so we had to make that a smaller size to make sure it didn't look like an incorrect capital letter.

Well done if you spotted those errors and edited that punctuation that's missing or incorrectly used capital letters checked, missing or incorrectly used full stops, missing or incorrectly used commas, and then missing or incorrectly used apostrophes.

Let's move on to editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

When editing, you should check for missing words, that your writing makes sense, and that your writing is cohesive.

Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text purpose.

True or false? Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text purpose.

Is that true or false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's check your answer.

Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text purpose.

Well done if you said true, that is true.

Let's justify your answer.

Are you going to justify with, A, we achieve text cohesion by writing lots of sentences, or B, we achieve text cohesion through using fronted adverbials, subject specific vocabulary, and relative complex sentences? Take a moment to pause the video and decide how you will justify your answer now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you found the right way to justify your answer.

Well, well done if you said B.

We do achieve text cohesion through fronted adverbials, subject specific vocabulary, and relative complex sentences.

Not by A, just writing lots of sentences.

So well done if you said B.

When editing sentence structure, we check for missing words, that our writing makes sense, and that our writing is cohesive.

Now, here is an example of a sentence.

I'm going to read it to you or several sentences I should say.

I'm going to read it to you and as I do, I want you to look out and listen out for missing words that my writing makes sense and that my writing is cohesive.

My name, Mr. Brown.

I am a teacher at Oak National Academy.

I have noticed that there are many schools across country that do not require their pupils to wear a uniform.

Hmm, did you spot anything? Any missing words? Well, well done if you spotted that there was a missing word here.

It should be, my name is Mr. Brown, not just my name Mr. Brown.

There was also a missing word here.

There are many schools across the country, not just schools across country.

There's also an example of poor cohesion.

My name is Mr. Brown, and I am a teacher at Oak National Academy.

That would be a way to make the sentence flow together.

Two main clauses joined.

However, I've just used a full stop and I've got lots of simple sentences.

So here are the three examples of ways that you could improve your sentence structure.

Let me check your understanding.

Which fronted adverbial could I add to the start of the second sentence to improve cohesion? Let me read you the two sentences.

There are many schools across the UK that do not require pupils to wear a uniform.

I am writing to ask you to make school uniform compulsory.

Could you add also, consequently, or however, they're all fronted adverbials, but which one would you add to the start of the second sentence to improve cohesion? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back everyone.

Let's see if you found the right answer.

Well, well done if you said consequently, there are many schools across the UK that do not require their pupils to wear a uniform.

Consequently, I am writing to ask you to make school uniform compulsory.

If you said all three out loud, you would've heard that consequently sounded the most suited as well.

That's a really important thing to do.

Well done if you said B.

There are many schools across the UK that do not require their pupils to wear a uniform.

Consequently, I am writing to ask you to make school uniform compulsory.

Now you are going to edit the second argument in your persuasive letter.

And remember, we are looking for missing words, that our writing makes sense, and that our writing is cohesive.

If you have your own second argument, of course, you can use that.

If not, you can use mine.

Please pause the video and have a look through my second argument and edit missing words, check the writing makes sense, and check it's cohesive.

Pause the video and have a go at this task now.

Welcome back.

Let's see how you got on.

Did you spot that the word can was missing? So if we go back, we have, having the latest fashionable clothing be very important to children.

It should read, having the latest fashionable clothing can be very important to children.

So well done if you spotted there was a word missing.

The next word I've added is therefore, and that's been added at the start of a sentence.

So my sentence reads, therefore, choosing an outfit for school every day can be a stressful experience for pupils who are not required to wear a uniform.

And that helps the text to flow.

Finally, in the last sentence it says, if a child is not wearing no uniform, well, that doesn't make sense because I already have not, so I don't need not and no, they are two negative words which change the meaning of the sentence.

So I have crossed out no.

So the sentence reads, if a child is not wearing uniform, it can also lead to them being teased for their clothing.

Much more cohesive.

The writing makes sense.

I've spotted there are missing words.

And I've checked everything to help the sentence structure and my writing flow.

Finally, let's check our editing vocabulary and spelling.

When we edit vocabulary and spelling, we check for all of these, a variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, appropriate tone, spelling accuracy, appropriate relative pronouns.

Here's an example, thanks in advance and I sincerely hope that your swift action will mean that I do not have to take this matter, who is very important any further.

Did you spots anything? Well, I can see a word that is too informal.

Instead of thanks, we should say thank you.

I can see there is an incorrect relative pronoun.

We don't say who is very important, we say, which is very important, who is reserved for people.

And a spelling mistake further is not spelled with ar at the end.

I thank you is much better than thanks which is the relative programme we needed, and er is the way to spell further.

Let me check your understanding.

The tone of a persuasive letter should be formal.

Is that true or is that false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you managed to find the right answer.

The tone of a persuasive letter should be formal.

Well, it absolutely should.

Let's justify our answer.

Persuasive letters should use formal fronted adverbials and subject specific vocabulary, which makes their tone formal.

That's A and B: persuasive letters should include lots of descriptive language and punctuation, such as exclamation marks and contractions.

Pause the video and decide how you will justify your answer now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you managed to justify your answer correctly.

Well, well done If you said A: persuasive letters should use formal fronted adverbials and subject specific vocabulary, which makes their tone formal.

Well done if you justify with A.

Now you are going to edit the conclusion of your persuasive letter and you'll be doing this looking for a variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, appropriate tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns.

These are the things that you'll be checking.

You can, of course, edit the vocabulary and spelling of your own conclusion.

If you don't have one, or you have finished, and you have more time, you can use this one here.

This is mine.

So feel free to use mine if you need to.

Remember, you are looking for a variety of words and phrases, formal tone, spelling accuracy, and are the relative pronouns appropriate.

Pause the video and have a good editing the vocabulary and spelling of your conclusion now.

Welcome back everyone.

Let's have a look, shall we? So, I thank you in advance and I am.

Instead of sure, I've replaced it with confident because that is a more formal word to use.

I thank you in advance that I am, and I am confident that you are.

Instead of speedy action, I put swift action.

Again, that's a more formal word to use.

Will mean that I do not replace this don't because contractions are not used in a formal piece of writing.

Do not have to take this matter any further.

I strongly urge you to make the right, was spelled inaccurately.

We need igh before a t.

That's the i sound that loves a t.

So ight is used for right.

Make the right decision and immediately make school uniform compulsory, which was spelled wrong.

A common spelling error, to spell it as compulsary when we want compulsory, ory.

I am sure that the thousands of children across the country which are depending on you, doesn't make sense.

Children are people, so it should be, who are depending on you.

That's the correct relative pronoun.

We will be pleased that you made this big change.

I have crossed out big to replace it with important, much more formal tone and I think a stronger ending.

So I have checked for a variety of words and phrases, formal tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns.

Let's summarise the learning we've done today.

Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Editing involves making improvements to a piece of writing without completely rewriting it.

Editing is a vital part of the writing process.

Superb work today.

You have edited a persuasive letter about school uniform.

Well done.

I hope to see you again very soon.