Lesson video

Hi everyone, my name's Mrs. Riley, and today, we're going to be doing some writing together.

Now, writing lessons are always my favourite lessons to teach because we have already got so many incredible ideas for this piece of writing.

And today, we get to take all those amazing ideas and put them into a piece of work that we can feel really proud of.

So let's get started.

The outcome of today's lesson is to use a plan to write a narrative opening based on Shakespeare's "Macbeth." These are the key words for our lesson today.

Are you ready to repeat them after me? Senses, complex sentence, fronted adverbial of place, figurative language.

Well done.

Senses are the physical abilities of sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste.

A complex sentence is formed of at least one main clause and a subordinate clause.

A fronted adverbial of place is a sentence starter that tells the reader where something is or happens.

And figurative language is the use of a simile, metaphor and personification to create vivid imagery.

Now, hopefully you recognise these words, but if you don't feel completely comfortable with them, don't worry because we are going to review them before we do our writing.

So in our lesson today, we have two learning cycles.

In the first learning cycle, we will be preparing to write.

And in the second, we will be writing our opening.

So we're going to write the opening scene as a narrative piece of writing in two parts.

Part one will describe the setting, which we know is the heath.

And there's a picture of a heath, but ours is gonna be much more scary.

Part two, we'll describe the characters, who are the witches.

But today, we're just focusing on part one.

So in our writing today, I know you might want to, we're not going to write about the witches yet.

We're going to save that for the next part.

Today, we are just trying to really paint the picture or paint the scene of where this opening is happening.

So the purpose of an opening is to do all of these things.

We want to engage the reader.

We don't want them to read our opening and (yawns) decide to actually put it down.

We want to really engage them.

We want to hook them into our reading, into our narrative.

We need to introduce the setting.

Imagine somebody who's reading this has never been to a heath.

I've never been to a heath.

So we need to tell them what it's like, and we need to set the atmosphere.

What's the atmosphere? How is it feeling on this heath? Is it a lovely, bright, sunny morning? Is it a spooky day? What's the atmosphere? So we're going to use the following structure.

We're going to start from the sky above, and we're going to work our way down to the ground level.

And of course then in the next part, which we're not writing today, we'll describe the witches.

So let's check what we've just learned.

Which of these is not the purpose of a narrative opening? Which of these is not the purpose? A, set the atmosphere.

B, summarise key events, and C, introduce the setting.

Pause the video while you think about your answer.

That's right, the one that's not the purpose of a narrative opening is summarise key events.

We are not doing that today, but we are going to set the atmosphere and introduce the setting, which is the heath.

So let's review the notes from a plan.

Hopefully, you've got a plan a bit like this.

If you haven't, then don't worry because you can just use the plan that we have here.

In this plan, we have thought on the left column about what we're going to describe, and we've also put those in order, remembering that we're going to start describing what's up in the sky, and work our way down to the ground.

So we can see we're starting with the ominous jet black sky, moving down to the air, then the shrubs, shrubs are plants, and then ending with insects that are on the ground, okay? And then we've also in the right column got some fronted adverbials.

So these are really nice ways to start our sentences, and they tell us where the action is happening.

And of course, where things are happening is quite important when we're describing a setting.

So this is going to be a really helpful tool when we come to write today.

So if you have got one of these plans, you might want to pause the video now and make sure you've got it close by.

Okay, so the opening needs to include the following, ambitious vocabulary to describe the senses.

We've spoken about what they are.

We want to make sure that we're describing not just what we can see, but all the different senses on that heath.

We want to imagine we're standing there and think about what we can hear, what we can smell, what we might touch.

All of those things, we want to describe in our opening.

We want to write our sentences in the past tense that this action has happened.

So we'll be using past tense verbs.

For example, I would say the thunder rumbled or the lightning flashed.

We'll be using fronted adverbials of place.

We just saw those in our plan.

Things like above the heath, comma, or below, comma.

Figurative language, those similes, metaphors or personification to really help to hook the reader in and make our writing really exciting.

And text flow.

What we mean by text flow is we want our writing to flow in a way that sounds nice as you read it.

If every single sentence is exactly the same, for example, if every sentence was just a short, simple sentence, the text might not flow very well.

Equally, if every single sentence started with as, it also might not flow very well.

As the thunder rumbled, the lightning flashed.

As the mist gathered, the, oh, I'm trying to think something now, as the mist gathered, the suffocating smell smothered the plants.

If we just kept on with that pattern, as this, dah, dah, dah, as this, dah, dah, dah, it's not going to flow very nicely.

So we want to have a range of sentence types, including three types of complex sentence.

Don't worry because we're going to think about those a bit more in a minute.

We can connect ideas in our opening using complex sentences, which contain a main clause and a type of subordinate clause.

So every complex sentence has a main clause, but there are three different types of subordinate clause.

We have an adverbial complex sentence, a relative complex sentence and a non-finite complex sentence.

And don't worry if you are thinking, oh, this is a lot for me to remember to include in my writing because we have done all these things before.

And when you see the sentences, you're gonna think, oh yeah, I can do that.

So an adverbial clause starts with a subordinating conjunction.

They're words like as, when or while.

Here's an example.

A clap of thunder bellowed as lightning lit up the jet black sky.

My main clause is a clap of thunder bellowed, and my subordinate clause, which in this example is an adverbial clause, is as lightning lit up the jet black sky.

And of course, with an adverbial complex sentence, we can swap the order of the clauses.

We could start with the subordinate clause, as lightning lit up the jet black sky, comma, we have to have a comma when it comes first, a clap of thunder bellowed.

So that's our first type of complex sentence.

We can do those, can't we? Yeah, we can do those.

Okay, so there's our subordinating conjunction, as.

We could also use when or while or because.

So the second type of complex sentence is a relative complex sentence.

A relative clause starts with a relative pronoun, like which or who.

Dark clouds, which ominously gathered overhead, forewarned of evil things to come.

In this example, my main clause has kind of been interrupted by this relative clause.

The main clause is dark clouds forewarned of evil things to come.

But I've snuck in some extra information about the noun, the clouds.

Dark clouds, which ominously gathered overhead, forewarned of evil things to come.

It's a really useful way of adding in some extra or some relevant information about a noun.

So that's another clause is the relative clause.

It starts with which or who.

And the third type of clause which can make a complex sentence is a non-finite clause.

Oh, sorry, there's our relative pronoun, which.

Now, a non-finite clause starts with a verb in its I-N-G form.

Let's see what that looks like.

Eerie echoes could be heard.

There's my main clause.

Here's my non-finite clause.

Reverberating across the desolate landscape.

The verb is reverberating.

That's the action.

And I've got it with I-N-G at the end.

It's an I-N-G form of the verb.

You'll notice I have a comma to separate my main clause from my non-finite clause.

So three different types of clauses, adverbial, relative and non-finite, which all can be put together with a main clause to make a complex sentence.

And a range of these sentences is going to help our writing be fantastic, but also to have great text flow.

Even if you are amazing at doing non-finite complex sentences, I wouldn't want every single sentence to be a non-finite complex sentence because that's not going to help our writing to flow.

What's gonna be amazing in our writing today is if we can do a combination, all three of these, maybe one of each.

So there is my verb in its I-N-G form.

So we can choose different types of complex sentences to connect two ideas.

So imagine, here's my two ideas from my plan.

I've got the howling wind billowed and the trees trembled.

These are the two things that are happening.

So I could just write two simple sentences about those two different things, or I could connect them and make an incredible complex sentence.

So here's an adverbial complex sentence.

I've used the conjunction as.

As a howling wind bellowed, comma, the withered trees trembled like frail skeletons.

I could use a relative complex sentence, the howling, billowing wind, which carried echoes of shrieking birds, caused the frail, emaciated trees to tremble.

Or I could use a non-finite complex sentence to connect these ideas.

The howling wind billowed, comma, causing the skeletal trees to tremble.

There's my I-N-G verb, causing the skeletal trees to tremble.

So there's an example of how you could take two ideas from a plan and you could connect them to make an incredible complex sentence.

So let's check what we've just learned.

How could we connect each pair of ideas to create a complex sentence? Here are your two ideas to connect.

The crows, that's a type of black bird, they're not very nice, shrieked.

And the crows searched for prey.

They're the two things the crows are doing.

How could you connect them? Could you connect them using a subordinate clause? As the crows shrieked, comma, and then the second part.

Could you connect them using a relative clause? Could you connect them using a non-finite clause? Can you pause the video and think about how you could connect these two ideas to make a complex sentence now? Okay, well done.

Here's an adverbial complex sentence.

A cacophony of crows shrieked as they desperately searched for a morsel of food in the barren landscape.

That's just one idea.

Above, crows discordantly shrieked, searching desperately for prey.

There's another idea with a non-finite clause.

So we can also use figurative language and alliteration to create atmosphere.

So here are the different devices.

A metaphor, personification, simile and alliteration.

A metaphor compares two things by saying one thing is another.

Personification assigns human characteristics to non-human things.

Like if we said the wind howled.

A simile compares two things like a metaphor, but this time it uses like or as.

And alliteration is when many words begin with the same sound.

So could you match the figurative language to the correct examples? Pause the video now.

Well done.

So a metaphor would be a blanket of fog smothered the heath.

So we're not saying it was like a blanket, we're just saying a blanket of fog.

Not fog like a blanket, a blanket of fog.

It is a blanket, therefore it's a metaphor.

A simile would be the storm raged across the heath, like a violent predator on the rampage.

The word like was the clue there.

Personification would be battered plants begged for mercy from the raging tempest.

Plants can't actually beg for mercy.

So we're giving them human characteristics.

And alliteration would be the wind howled, whipping wild waves of wilted heather into the salty air.

We can hear the W sound there repeated.

And that is alliteration.

So these are all things we can include in our writing today.

So for your first task, I would like you to in the example below find an example of each of the following.

I'd like you to find some adjectives to describe all those different senses.

What we can see, hear, touch, taste, smell.

I'd like you to find examples of complex sentences, looking for those different types of clauses, non-finite, adverbial and relative.

I'd like you to look for some fronted adverbials, they, remember, will come at the start of a sentence and tell us where it's happening.

And I'd like you finally to look for some figurative language and alliteration, those similes or personification, just like we looked at.

Let me read the example to you.

And as I read it, see if you could start looking for examples of each of those things.

Above the desolate heath, the sky hung like a heavy cloak, suffocating the landscape below.

As a deafening growl of thunder prowled through the heavens, jagged tongues of lightning tore through the ink black sky.

Below, a choking stench, which tasted of salt and decay, smothered the few withered shrubs on the barren land.

Murky, stagnant puddles that were full of writhing insects peppered the ragged earth.

So pause the video now while you hunt for examples of each of those things.

Well done.

Let's go through some examples.

So here are some adjectives to describe the senses.

A deafening growl of thunder.

That's something we could hear.

A choking stench.

There's a smell.

And then we've got complex sentences.

We've got suffocating the landscape below.

Now, that's an I-N-G verb, suffocating.

So that's a non-finite clause.

We've got as a deafening growl of thunder prowled through the heavens, comma, and then the main clause.

So there's our subordinate clause to make an adverbial complex sentence.

And finally, we've got below a choking stench, which tasted of salt and decay.

So we've got a relative clause there to add some detail to describe that stench.

So we've got three different types of complex sentences using three different types of clauses there.

An adverbial, a non-finite and a relative.

Fronted adverbials, yes, I can see above the desolate heath.

And I can see below.

Both of them have got commas after them.

And finally, figurative language and alliteration.

Yes, I can see here that the sky hung like a heavy cloak.

I'm comparing the sky to a cloak.

So that's an example of a simile.

And finally, I've got peppered the putrid earth.

That P sound meaning I've also included some alliteration in this example.

Well done if you managed to find those features.

We're now going to write our part one of our opening.

So when we write, we always, always try to do these things.

We plan and say each sentence before we write it.

That's so important.

Don't start your sentence when you don't know how it's going to finish.

Say the whole thing before you write it down.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type we know.

If you know how to use a non-finite clause, prove it to me and put it in your writing.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately.

And finally, check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

All of these things will make us really successful in our writing today.

So here's the success criteria for your writing today.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials of place.

I know you''re gonna be able to do that because you've got those on your plan or on the plan that you can borrow of ours.

I have used ambitious vocabulary to describe the different sentences.

So just stop and think, have I described a sound? So my next sentence might describe something I could smell.

I have written three different types of complex sentence, adverbial, non-finite and relative, to improve text flow.

And we've had a look at some examples of those today.

I have used a range of figurative language to build atmosphere.

Maybe you might include a simile or a metaphor or alliteration.

So lots of things to think about in our writing today.

Lots, and you I know are going to do so well at this task.

I cannot wait to see your writing.

Remember, we're using this structure.

We're going to start up in the sky and work our way down to the ground.

And again, we'll remember to do that because we've already picked the order of the nouns we're going to describe on our plan.

So you can start a new paragraph to signal the start of a new idea or a place.

It's important to remember to indent the beginning of each paragraph.

So I am now going to write the first few sentences of my opening.

And as I write it, you're going to help me to check that I've used the success criteria.

Okay, so you can see here that I have stuck in my success criteria, and I have actually written my first sentence already.

So I'm going to read this sentence to you, and as I read it, see if you can spot any mistakes, or see if you think you are happy with it.

Here we go.

Above the desolate heath, hmm, now, I've got a fronted adverbial of place there, but I've forgotten, what have I forgotten, everyone? Well done, I have forgotten my comma.

So above the desolate heath, rumbles of distant thunder rolled the jet black sky as ominous clouds gathered.

Hmm, I think I've got a word missing in here, haven't I? Rumbles of distant thunder rolled across, across the jet back sky as ominous clouds gathered.

So hopefully, we can see there that it is so important to read our work back.

Because when I read that sentence back, I found two mistakes, a comma missing and a word missing.

So that's why it's really important to always stop and read a sentence back whenever you've written it.

Okay, so here's my plan.

Now, we can see that I have already used above the desolate heath.

I've given that a tick.

And I've also used the ominous jet black sky in my first sentence.

Now, my next part in my plan is about this idea of the air, the scent of the air.

But I actually want to just stick in the sky a bit longer.

So first of all, I'm going to just put that to one side.

I'm gonna do a little bit of extra, and I'm going to describe the moon.

Now, on a lovely, and if I was trying to create a positive setting, I might describe the moon shining brightly and looking very sort of radiant or serene.

But I want to try and create a negative energy, atmosphere.

So I might say something about the moon sort of casting sort of spooky shadows.

So let me just say this sentence a few times.

So maybe the moon cast sort of feeble, weary shadows because that implies that it's kind of trying to shine, but it's sort of almost like it's exhausted.

So maybe, I know, I could even do a relative clause here.

I could say the moon, comma, which was desperately trying to break through the thick blanket of clouds, there's my relative clause, and then I carry on my main clause, so what was the moon doing, again? The moon, oh yeah, it cast feeble, weary shadows.

So the moon, which was desperately trying to break through the thick blanket of clouds, cast feeble, weary shadows on the landscape below.

So you can see I've said my sentence out loud a couple of times, and now I think I'm ready to write it.

So carrying on from here, you'll see I've indented my first sentence, but I don't have to indent this one.

So the moon, now, here's my relative clause, so I need a comma, which, so I'm adding relative information about this noun, the moon.

The moon, which was desperately, desperately trying to break through, through the blanket.

Now, I'm always tempted to put a double T on blanket, but I think it's just one T, blanket of clouds.

The moon, which was desperately trying to break through the blanket of clouds, there's the end of my relative clause, so I've got a comma.

What did it do? The moon, it cast feeble, comma, weary, like it's tired, shadows on the landscape below.

What do I need at the end of my sentence? A full stop.

Right, let's read it back.

The moon, comma, which was desperately trying to break through the blanket of clouds, comma, cast feeble, weary shadows on the landscape below.

Why do I have a comma between feeble and weary? Because they are both, that's right, they're both adjectives.

Now, let's quickly refer to my success criteria.

So I've got one fronted adverbial of place, above the desolate heath.

I reckon, because I didn't start this next second sentence, in the third sentence, I might try and do another front adverbial of place.

Senses, hmm, well, I've described the rumbles of thunder.

So that's the sound.

I've described things we could see like the moon and the clouds.

So maybe in my next sentence, I might try to describe a smell.

Complex sentences, well, I've got here as, there's my conjunction.

So I have already done an adverbial complex sentence, there's my subordinate clause, as ominous clouds gathered.

So I've done an adverbial.

In the second sentence, I did the moon, which was desperately.

So I've got a relative clause, haven't done a non-finite one yet.

And figurative language.

Now, I did actually use some figurative language in my second sentence because if the moon is trying to break through the clouds, that's trying to break through something is something that a human would do.

So I'm actually personifying the moon.

So I've got a bit of personification there.

And I have also got this idea of a blanket of clouds.

I'm not saying the clouds are like a blanket, I'm just saying a blanket of clouds.

So does anyone know what type of figurative language is that? It's not a simile.

That's right, it's a metaphor.

So I'm actually gonna tick that box because I'm quite happy that I've got two nice pieces of figurative language there.

Now, I'm gonna remember my next sentence.

I want to start it with a fronted adverbial.

I'm going to try and describe a smell.

And I'm going to try to include a non-finite clause.

So let's take a look at my plan.

So here's my fronted adverbial of place, all around.

The suffocating, musty scent that permeated the air.

Actually, I think I could just start my sentence, just pull that straight from the plan.

So there's the start of my sentence.

All around, the suffocating, musty scent that permeated the air.

Now I need to think about, what's that air doing? What could it be doing? Oh, I know, maybe it hung heavily.

It hung heavily over the heath.

How could I describe the heath? Shout out some ideas.

Oh, amazing ideas.

I liked the idea barren.

So it hung heavily over the barren heath.

And now I need my non-finite clause.

So I need a verb, an I-N-G verb.

Something that the air could do.

I'm thinking of a word smother, smothering.

Smothering means you deprive something of air, you cover it up completely.

So I think that this air could be smothering any living thing that dared to survive there.

Because this heath, as we know, quite a hostile environment for anything to survive.

So let's say the sentence all again.

All around, the suffocating, musty scent that permeated the air, what did it do? It heavily hung over the barren heath.

And here's my non-finite clause.

Smothering any living thing that dared to survive there.

So I've said my sentence, I've used my plan.

I'm gonna use these two ideas.

And now I'm going to write my sentence.

Let's just make sure you can see what I'm doing.

Okay, so starting off with all, all around.

All around, comma.

In fact, you know what, I wonder, I'd quite like to indent here and do a new paragraph because I'm kind of moving from my top section of the sky to the next section.

So I'm just gonna cross that out.

And I'm just gonna start here instead because I want to indent to do a new paragraph.

All around, comma, there's my fronted adverbial.

The suffocating, this is all straight from my plan.

The suffocating, comma, musty scent that permeated the air.

That permeated the air.

Or what did it do? It hung heavily, hung heavily.

It hung heavily over, how I described the heath, can you remember? That's right, over the barren heath.

Barren heath.

Let's just read up to what I've done so far.

All around, the suffocating, musty scent that permeated the air hung heavily over the barren heath.

Now, here's my non-finite clause.

So it was, what was the I-N-G verb? Can you remember? To cover something up completely? That's right, smothering, smothering.

Smothering, what was it smothering? Yeah, that's right, it was smothering any living thing that dared to survive there, full stop.

Right, let's read that sentence back.

All around, the suffocating, musty scent that permeated the air hung heavily over the barren heath.

Here's my non-finite clause, comma, smothering any living thing that dared to survive there.

Okay, so now I feel confident that I can tick this complex sentence box because I've got an adverbial, a non-finite and a relative clause.

And hopefully, that's created some nice text flow in my writing because I've got lots of variation.

I've also now described something you could hear, something you could see, and now also something you could smell.

I've decided to describe that musty scent.

So I'm happy to tick that senses box.

And I've also got another fronted adverbial, all around.

So I'm also happy now I've got two of those to tick that box there.

Okay, so now it's your turn to write.

Remember, indent the first sentence, use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraphs.

Good luck.

I think this piece of writing is going to be so fantastic, and I can't wait to see it.

Pause the video while you write the first part of your opening.

Amazing, well done.

I bet you feel exhausted after all that writing.

So there's one more thing we need to do today, and that's to read and check our work.

Can you read your writing back and check for sense and errors? And as you read it, tick the success criteria as you find an example of each part of it, like in this example.

So watch me modelling what you're going to do next.

So as I read this example to you, I'm going to be finding things from my success criteria to tick off.

So first of all, "Above the barren heath," I can see straight away a fronted adverbial.

And in my second paragraph, it starts, "Across the heath." So I'm straight away going to be able to tick two fronted adverbials because I can see those straight off.

"Above the barren heath, "the ragged sky hung like a thick blanket of gloom." Oh, there's some figurative language, a simile.

"With a deep ominous roar, "thunder rolled across the heavens, "as forks of lightning erupted across the jet black sky." So I think I've already described something I can see and hear.

So I'm going to tick that I've used vocabulary to describe the senses.

"Hiding behind the clouds," there's a non-finite clause.

I've also had, "As forks of lightning," so I've got an adverbial clause.

So I wonder if I've got a relative.

And then I can tick the next box as well.

"Hiding behind the clouds, "the moon with its eerie glow was a ghostly orb, "which cast shadows on the desolate expanse below." Great, I've got all three types of complex sentence.

"Across the heath, "the feral storm raged "and viciously tore "at the diseased, withered trees' branches." There's some personification.

I'm giving the storm human character traits.

"A suffocating, salty stench that permeated the air "engulfed every skeletal shrub "and smothered the few creatures "that could survive these harsh conditions." So I can give that figurative language one a tick as well, which means I've met all the different elements of this success criteria.

So let's summarise what we've learnt today.

We have that the purpose of the opening is to engage the reader, introduce the setting and set the atmosphere.

We can use our plans and success criteria when writing to help us be as successful as possible.

Using a range of sentence types improves text flow for the reader.

Writers can use a range of figurative language and literary devices to build atmosphere in narrative writing.

So well done for your incredible work this lesson.

You have written the most amazing opening or part one of the opening of "Macbeth," and I think you should feel really, really proud of all that you've achieved.

Hopefully, I'll see you for some more learning next time, when we might look at the second part of the opening.

Bye for now.