Lesson video

Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Ms. Mullins, and I'm so glad that you've made the choice to be here today.

So let's get started.

In our lesson today, we will be editing a section of a non-chronological report.

Here are some of the keywords we will be using in our lesson: editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Well done, everyone.

Let's look at some definitions for these words.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Grammar refers to the set of rules that govern a language.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

Vocabulary refers to the language choices made by the writer.

In our lesson today, we will be editing the diet section of a non-chronological reports about aye-ayes.

Firstly, we will be editing punctuation.

Then we will be editing our sentence structure.

And finally, we will be editing vocabulary and spelling.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing, to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and what you will keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing does not mean rewriting everything again.

It is about being selective with what you want to improve.

The job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, make improvements in language choices.

In this lesson, you are going to be editors.

Editing is the process of? Pause the video while you decide.

Well done.

Editing is the process of making improvements in language choices and making improvements to sentence structure.

When we edit punctuation, we check from missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes.

There are some punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

You might be able to spot them.

Let's read this sentence together: these primate which feed on plants and animal's eat a varied diet.

Hmm.

I can spot a few punctuation mistakes.

I'm going to go back to my checklist.

So capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes.

Let's see whether we can improve these mistakes.

Well, first of all, I need to fix my capital letter to start my sentence.

I need a capital T for these.

I also need to include a full stop at the end of my sentence.

Hmm, my commas.

I definitely need a pair of commas around my relative clause.

Remember, a relative clause is a subordinate clause that adds extra information about the noun in the sentence, and I need to separate my relative clause from the rest of the sentence using my commas.

And finally, I can see an apostrophe in this sentence in the word animals, but those animals aren't owning anything and they're not showing a contracted word.

So I think I have accidentally added in an apostrophe when actually there shouldn't be an apostrophe at all.

That's a very common mistake that sometimes people, when they write a plural of a word that ends in S, they automatically put an apostrophe in there.

So I'm going to remove that apostrophe and now my sentence is correct.

Correct the punctuation mistakes in this sentence: aye-ayes diets, which are omnivorous consist of grubs nectar and fruit.

Pause the video while you do that.

Well done if you spotted the missing capital letter to start the sentence, the missing apostrophe for plural possession in aye-ayes' diets, the missing second comma to go after the relative clause, and the other missing comma in the list of grubs, nectar, and fruit, and the full stop.

Excellent work.

Commas have several functions.

Let's read this sentence together: Notably comma aye-ayes' diets comma which are omnivorous comma consist of grubs comma nectar and fruit.

Let's just count these commas together.

One, two, three, four.

There are four commas in that sentence, but they have different functions.

My first comma is a comma after the fronted adverbial notably.

Next, I've used a pair of commas to separate the relative clause from the main clause.

And finally, I have used a comma to separate the common nouns in a list.

We only use a comma when we know the rule.

When are commas used? Pause the video while you do that.

Well done.

They are used to separate a subordinate clause from a main clause like what we just saw with the pair of commas around our relative clause.

They are also used after a fronted adverbial and to separate items in a list.

When you pause in a sentence is not a rule and it's not a reason to use a comma.

Now you're going to edit the punctuation in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When editing, you should check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes.

Edit the punctuation in your diet section and use the prompts to help you.

Have you checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, missing or incorrectly used full stops, missing or incorrectly used commas, and missing or incorrectly used apostrophes? Here is my example of a diet section that has some punctuation mistakes in it.

You can choose to edit my example or edit your own writing.

Pause the video while you do that.

Excellent work, everybody, and well done for working so hard on your editing.

I can see here in my, now that I have edited my writing, I have added a pair of commas around my relative clause.

I have also added a comma after the word nectar to separate the items in the list.

I have used a capital letter to start the sentence in due.

I have also remembered to add a comma after my fronted adverbial fascinatingly, and I have added an apostrophe for plural possession for aye-ayes' adaptations.

We are now going to move on to the second section of our lesson where we will be editing our sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

When editing, you should check for missing words, that your writing makes sense, and that your writing is cohesive.

True or false? Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text's purpose.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that the answer was true.

Now pause the video while you decide how to justify your answer.

Well done if you selected B, we achieve text cohesion through using fronted adverbials, subject-specific vocabulary, and relative complex sentences.

When editing sentence structure, we check all these: for missing words, that our writing makes sense, that our writing is cohesive.

Here's an example of my introduction section of my non-chronological report.

Let's read it through together.

Introduction.

Aye-ayes, which nocturnal, distinctive-looking primates, inhabit the tropical rainforests of Madagascar, Africa.

These highly adapted lemurs are regarded by many as bad omens.

Some people believe that if an aye-aye points its skeletal middle finger at you, you will cursed.

This report will educate you in further detail about these mammals' fascinating adaptations, diet and habitat.

Hmm, I think the punctuation choices and lots of the vocabulary and spelling in my introduction is really successful, but there are a few things that don't sound quite right.

There's a missing word after the word which in my introductory sentence.

Another missing word in you will cursed.

Should be you will be cursed.

And there is also some poor cohesion.

I have got two sentences beside each other that could be more cohesive and I could use perhaps different openers to make them link better and flow better.

Now that I've made some edits, let's reread this introduction and see whether it is more cohesive.

Introduction.

Aye-ayes, which are nocturnal, distinctive-looking primates, inhabit the tropical rainforests of Madagascar, Africa.

These highly-adapted lemurs are regarded by many as bad omens, and some people believe that if an aye-aye points its skeletal middle finger at you, you will be cursed.

This report will educate you in further detail about these mammals' fascinating adaptations, diet and habitat.

Just by adding in my missing words and replacing a full stop with the conjunction and, I have enhanced my sentence structure in my introduction and made my writing much more cohesive.

Which fronted adverbial could I add to the start of the second sentence to improve cohesion? Aye-ayes live in the rainforest's treetops.

They eat food primarily find in these trees.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that as a result would be the most appropriate fronted adverbial.

This is because as a result shows a link between cause and effect.

Because the aye-ayes live in the rainforest's treetops, they eat food primarily found in these trees.

Let's read the two sentences together.

Aye-ayes live in the rainforest's treetops.

As a result, they eat food primarily found in these trees.

Now you are going to edit the sentence structure in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When editing sentence structure, we check for missing words, that our writing makes sense, and that our writing is cohesive.

Edit the sentence structure of your diet section.

Have you checked that there are no missing words, that your writing makes sense, and that your writing is cohesive? Here is also an example of my own writing that you can edit for me if you would prefer.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Hopefully you feel like you've really made a big improvement in your writing.

Here are my improvements to my diet section.

I have added as a result of this to make my sentence opener more cohesive.

I've also added in the word are because I'd missed it out.

I've used however to open a sentence that shows a contrasting idea to the sentence before it.

And finally, I have missed out the word ah from the final sentence.

Now we are going to edit vocabulary and spelling.

When we edit vocabulary and spelling, we check for all of these: a variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, appropriate tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns.

Here's an example of a couple of sentences where we could improve vocabulary choice.

Let's read them together.

Aye-ayes are amazing creatures that live in Madagascar.

Aye-ayes comma who live in rainforests comma build there nests in trees.

Hmm, I think we could probably make some edits to some of my vocabulary choices and I've spotted a spelling mistake.

Firstly, the word amazing is too informal for a non-chronological report, so I need to think of a different adjective.

Secondly, I've started both of my sentences with aye-ayes.

So for the second sentence, I need to refer to the aye-ayes in a different way to avoid being too repetitive.

Up next, the relative pronoun who is not appropriate here because we use who when we are writing a relative clause about a person, but we use which when the relative clause is not about a person.

Aye-ayes are not people, so we definitely need to change that relative pronoun.

And I can spot that the word there is spelled incorrectly.

Maybe you can help me spell it properly.

I've made a few edits and I think we've really improved the vocabulary choices in these sentences.

Let's read it through together.

Aye-ayes are fascinating creatures that live in Madagascar.

These primates, which live in rainforests, build their nests in trees.

True or false? The tone of a non-chronological report should be formal.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that this is true.

Now pause the video while you decide how to justify your answer.

Well done if you've spotted that non-chronological reports should use formal frontal adverbials and subject-specific vocabulary which makes their tone formal.

We do not include lots of descriptive language and punctuations such as exclamation marks and contractions because this would actually create an informal tone.

Correct the vocabulary and spelling mistakes in these sentences.

Aye-ayes, who are nocturnal, hunt at night even though it is dark.

Aye-ayes eat grubs, wich are found inside trees, and nuts.

These cute animals have a vairied diet.

Pause the video while you do that.

Well done, everyone.

Let's reveal some edits we might have made.

So aye-ayes, which are nocturnal, hunt at night.

"Even though it is dark" is a bit too conversational and informal for a non-chronological report, so that's why I've decided to score it out.

I've also decided to replace aye-ayes with "these omnivores" in order to avoid repeating the word aye-ayes again.

So these omnivores eat grubs, which are found inside trees and nuts.

These intriguing animals have a varied diet.

Intriguing is much more appropriate than cute because this is more of a formal adjective, which is more appropriate for a non-chronological report.

And I've also spotted a spelling mistake with the word which and varied, which I edited.

Now it's time for your final task.

You're going to edit the vocabulary and spelling in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When editing vocabulary and spelling, check for a variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, appropriate tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns.

Edit the vocabulary and spelling of diet section and use the prompts on the right-hand side to help you.

Have you checked for a variety of words and phrases, formal tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns? Here is an example of my diet section which you can use to edit if you would prefer.

Let's read it through together.

What do aye-ayes eat? Aye-ayes are fasinating creatures that eat plants and animals, meaning they are onmivores.

Aye-ayes eat grubs, nectar, fruit and nuts.

Aye-ayes, who live in nests in the rainforests' trees, find these tasty foods near their nests in the rainforests' trees.

Due to the fact that aye-ayes are nocternal, they mainly hunt at night.

Pause the video while you either edit my example or your own writing.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Here are some of the edits you might have made if you edited my writing.

So the word fascinating was spelled incorrectly, it was missing the C, and so was omnivores.

Omnivores is a tricky word to spell because it is subject-specific vocabulary, so we might not be used to writing that word.

I decided to replace this word aye-ayes in my second sentence with "these lemurs" to avoid repetition from the first sentence.

I also changed the who relative pronoun to which because aye-ayes are not people, they are animals.

So when we write relative clauses about them, the relative pronoun should be which.

I spelled the word there incorrectly.

There is a homophone, meaning it sounds like the other spelling of there.

It's a tricky word to remember.

And finally, the word nocturnal.

I spelled it with an ER, but actually the ER sound in nocturnal is spelled with UR.

Well done, everybody.

I hope you're feeling really successful after your editing.

So that brings us to the end of our lesson today, everyone, where we have been editing the diet section of a non-chronological report about aye-ayes.

Here's a summary of what we have learned.

Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Editing involves making improvements to a piece of writing without completely rewriting it.

And editing is a vital part of the writing process.

I am so impressed with your learning today, and I hope you feel that you have made really excellent improvements to your writing.

Well done, everyone, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again soon.