Lesson video

Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's lesson.

Today, we're going to be editing some of our writing.

In today's lesson, we'll be editing the speech section of our narrative writing.

Here are some of the keywords that we are going to be using, editing, speech punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Speech punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used to punctuate direct speech sentences.

Sentence structure is the way that words are arranged within sentences to convey meaning.

Vocabulary is the language choices made by a writer.

Today, we're going to be editing the speech section of our writing on "The Highwayman".

We're going to begin by editing our speech punctuation, then focusing on our sentence structure, and finally, editing our vocabulary and spelling.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit, you decide what you'll change and what you're going to keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing does not mean rewriting everything again.

It's about being selective with what you want to improve.

The job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and make improvements in language choices.

In this lesson, you are going to be editors.

Editing is the process of.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that when we edit, we make improvements in language choices and sentence structure.

When we edit speech punctuation, we check the accuracy of all of these things.

So, we think about our inverted commas, our capital letters.

Have we used full stops and question marks and exclamation marks properly? Have we used commas correctly? There are some speech punctuation mistakes in this speech first sentence.

Let's begin by reading it through together, "please return safely begged Bess." Now, at the moment, there's no speech punctuation at all here, so let's add some in, first of all, starting with our inverted commas.

Remember, the inverted commas go around the direct speech that was said aloud by the character.

So, Bess said, "Please return safely." That means our inverted commas need to go around those words.

We also need a capital letter at the start of direct speech, so capital P for "Please".

Then we need to use a full stop or a question mark or an exclamation mark at the end of the speech sentence.

Now, this just needs a full stop, which I've added in here now.

And finally, commas.

We need to use a comma before the closing inverted commas, and I've added that in now.

So, now my speech first sentence is correctly punctuated.

Correct the speech punctuation mistakes in this speech second sentence.

Pause the video while you do that.

Well done if you spotted all of these edits to make.

So, with speech second, we need to use a comma before we open the inverted commas.

Well done if you remembered to add that bit in.

We need inverted comments around the direct speech, a capital letter to start the direct speech, and a full stop or a question mark or an exclamation mark to end the direct speech.

Now, because Bess wasn't asking any questions or exclaiming anything, it's most appropriate here to end her direct speech with a full stop, remembering also that really, really important bit of punctuation that lots of people forget, is the comma before the inverted commas.

Now you're going to edit the speech punctuation in your writing for your task.

Here's an example of my writing that you can choose to edit instead.

Make sure that you check for missing or incorrectly used inverted commas, capital letters, full stops, question marks or exclamation marks, and commas.

Pause the video while you complete your task.

Well done, everyone.

So, you might have chosen to edit your own writing, and that's great, or you might have chosen to edit mine.

So, in my dialogue, I was missing all of my speech first and speech second punctuation, so remembering, for both sentences, I needed to have inverted commas around the direct speech, needed a capital letter to start the direct speech.

I also needed, in my speech first sentence, a question mark at the end of Bess's direct speech because the clue there was in the word "asked".

Bess asked a question, so "When will you return" needed to end with a question mark.

The Highwayman's speech just needed to end with a full stop 'cause he was just replying to her.

He wasn't asking any questions or making any exclamations himself.

Did you remember to use your comma before opening the inverted commas in the speech second sentence, so after the word "replied"? Well done if you remembered that.

Just have a think, did you check for your missing or incorrectly used inverted commas, capital letters, full stops, question marks, exclamation marks, and your commas if you were doing your own writing? Well done, everyone.

Now we're gonna move on to editing our sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve the text's flow, and we need to make sure our writing is cohesive for our reader.

When you're editing, you should check for missing words.

It's really easy when you're thinking so carefully about your language choices and your punctuation, especially with speech punctuation, to then, while you're writing, just accidentally miss out some words.

So, be on the lookout for that common mistake.

You also need to check that the reporting clause is structured correctly and makes sense, and I'll show you a few examples of what I mean by that.

And you also need to make sure that your writing is cohesive so that your writing flows and it makes sense to your reader, and also, remember that you need to take a new line for each new speaker.

True or false, "The reporting clause explains what was said by a character in a text?" Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that this answer is false.

Now, pause the video again while you decide how to justify your answer.

Well done if you spotted that the correct answer was A, "The reporting clause explains who spoke and how they said it.

The writer can add extra information for the reader in the form of adverbial detail and using subordinate clauses.

When editing sentence structure, we check for missing words, that the reporting clause is structured correctly and that it makes sense, that our writing is cohesive, and that we have started a new line for a new speaker.

Here's an example of where my punctuation and my language choices are correct, but my sentence structure needs a bit of work.

So, let's read through this example together.

"When will you return?" as her heart sank, Bess asked.

The Highwayman, standing up in the stirrups, "I promise to be back by tomorrow night." Now, you might be able to spot that there's a real lack of cohesion in these sentences and they don't quite flow properly or make complete sense to the reader.

Let's dig into this a little bit more.

In both of my sentences, I've used subordinate clauses.

So, in my sentence for Bess, I've used "as her heart sank" as a subordinate clause, so that's an adverbial subordinate clause 'cause it starts with the word "as", and for the Highwayman, I've done "standing up in the stirrups", so that's an example of a non-finite subordinate clause.

Now, for both of these, I've put them in the wrong place.

The character needs to speak just before or just after the direct speech.

We can't have the subordinate clause straight after or straight ahead of the direct speech because that's when it becomes disjointed and unclear.

You can always think about how the synonym for "said" needs to go straight after the speech first if it's a speech first sentence, or it needs to go straight before this direct speech if it's a speech second sentence.

I've also completely missed out a synonym for "said" in my Highwayman's speech sentence, The Highwayman, hmm, standing up in the stirrups, "I promise to be back by tomorrow night." So, I've missed out even a synonym for "said" for the Highwayman here.

Let's see how I can improve and edit the structure of these speech sentences.

Now I've switched around my subordinate clauses.

Let's read them together now.

"When will you return?" Bess asked as her heart sank.

So, can you see here, in this example, Bess asking has come straight after the speech? So, it's really clear that it was Bess who said it, and how she said it was asked.

"As her heart sank" goes after, so that's the reporting clause, sorry, the subordination in the reporting clause going after her synonym for "said".

And then, this time, in my Highwayman speech, I've done "Standing up in the stirrups", comma, "the Highwayman responded".

So, again, I've switched my non-finite subordinate clause to the start of the sentence.

Then "the Highwayman responded", that synonym for "said" is going straight in front of the direct speech.

Now it's time for you to do your task.

You are now going to edit the sentence structure in your writing, or you can edit the sentence structure in my writing.

Now, remember, we are just focusing on sentence structure.

So, we've already edited our speech punctuation, and we're not looking for vocabulary or spelling mistakes 'cause that's going to come later.

Right now, we're just focusing on our structure of our sentences.

Here's a little checklist to remind you.

We need to check that there's no missing words.

The reporting clause needs to be structured correctly and that it makes sense, so thinking about, if we've used subordination, where does that come in the reporting clause and does it actually make sense for the reader? We need to make sure that our writing is cohesive and that we've taken a new line for a new speaker.

Pause the video while you complete your task.

Great work, everyone.

Here's my example of some edits we could have done.

Now, in my example, just like as whenever I modelled it earlier, my subordinate clause was in the wrong place.

""I'll watch for you by moonlight," as she frowned in disappointment, Bess murmured" doesn't make sense.

So, I needed to say who spoke and the synonym for "said" straight after the first speech first.

"I'll watch for you by moonlight," Bess murmured.

So, I told my reader who spoke and how she said it, she murmured it, as she frowned in disappointment.

Then my subordination goes after that bit of information.

That makes much more sense for the reader.

I'd also completely forgotten to take a new line for a new speaker, so I've done that now.

With an adoring look, the Highwayman replied, "I promise to return safely." So, in my Highwayman sentence, I'd forgotten to take a new line for him, which I've now done, and I'd also missed out the word "to".

So, as I'd said earlier, it's really easy to accidentally miss out a word when we're writing 'cause we're focusing on so many other things, so make sure you really carefully reread your sentences, and I often find that reading them out loud and pointing at each word as I read them helps to spot if I've missed out any words.

If you're reviewing your editing of your writing, just use this checklist.

Have you checked that there are no missing words, that the reporting clause is structured correctly and that it makes sense, that your writing is cohesive, and that you remembered to take a new line for a new speaker? Well done if you have remembered to do all of those things.

Now this brings us on to the third and the final part of our lesson today, where now we're going to edit the vocabulary and spelling in the speech section of "The Highwayman".

When we edit vocabulary and spelling, we check for appropriate and precise synonyms for "said", that we've used a range of precise vocabulary to avoid repetition, that we've spelled words accurately.

Here's an example of some writing, where my punctuation is all correct, my sentence structure is all correct, but there are a few issues with my vocabulary and spelling.

Let's read this through together and you might be able to spot some of my mistakes.

"I'll watch for you by moonlite," Bess asked with a small sigh.

With a sigh, the Hihwayman said, "I promis I'll be back soon." Hmm, I wonder whether you can spot some issues with my vocabulary choices, any issues with my synonyms for "said", are they accurate enough, and have I spelled my words correctly? Firstly, I've got three spelling errors or mistakes in these sentences, moonlite, Hihwayman, and promis.

They're all spelled incorrectly.

You might be able to help me spell them correctly in a moment.

Still got a few other issues, though.

"Bess asked"? Now, did she ask a question in her direct speech? Let's just reread it.

"I'll watch for you by moonlite," Bess asked with a small sigh.

She's not asking a question.

She's telling him that she's going to do something.

That's not a question, so the word "asked" here is not an appropriate synonym for "said".

And finally, I have repeated Show, Not Tell for both characters.

"Bess asked with a small sigh", and the Highwayman also said "with a sigh".

I need to be a bit more varied in my language choices here because it's really boring for my reader if they're just reading the same Show, Not Tell again and again, and there are so many ways we can use different Show, Not Tell to capture how our characters are feeling.

Let's see the improved and edited sentences now.

Focusing just on my spelling issues, "I'll watch for you by moonlite," the I in "moonlite" is not an i-e, like what I did in my first example, but it's a trigraph, the I using the "igh" sound.

Well done if you helped me with that one.

I had also spelled the word "promis" incorrectly.

Promise has got a silent E on the end.

And the "Hihwayman", this is quite a nice word to think about how we spell because we can split the word "highwayman" into three parts, high, as in up high, way, man.

If you can spell the word "high" and "way" and "man" correctly, you can spell "highwayman".

Okay, so thank you for your help with spelling those words correctly.

Now I need to think about my synonyms for "said".

So, we've already talked about how "asked" was not correct because Bess wasn't asking a question in her direct speech, so I've used the word "muttered".

We could have come up with some other words, though.

We could have done "murmured" or "commented" or "reassured".

Any of those would've worked.

And in my speech second sentence for the Highwayman, I used the word "said", which is not technically wrong, but it's not very ambitious either.

It doesn't tell my reader anything about really how he spoke, so I've gone with "murmured".

Murmured is to talk quietly and gently.

Coming on now, finally, to our Show, Not Tell.

So, I've kept that "Bess muttered with a small sigh" from my first sentence, I've got rid of "with a sigh" in my second sentence, and this time, I've decided to just go for a good old, simple adverb of manner, "quietly".

"Quietly, the Highwayman murmured, "I promise I'll be back soon." True or false, "Writers should vary their language choices in narrative writing?" Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you remembered that this is true.

Now, decide how to justify your answer and pause the video while you do that.

Well done if you spotted that this is A.

So, "Using a range of language choices keeps the reader engaged and enriches the writing." Now it's time for your task.

You are I going to edit the vocabulary and spelling in your writing, or you can edit mine.

To help you, make sure that you check for appropriate and precise synonyms for "said", a range of precise vocabulary to avoid repetition, and spelling accuracy.

Pause the video while you complete your task.

Great work, everyone.

So, some of us might have decided to edit our own writing.

Some of us might have decided to edit my writing.

Here are some potential edits you might have wanted to make.

So, "I'll be back before the morning light," he wasn't shouting at Bess, but maybe a more precise or appropriate synonym might have been "promised".

Now, you might not have written the word "promised" because there are lots of synonyms you could have used, but just review which synonym for "said" you use and make sure it makes sense and is appropriate for this scene.

"Promised the courageous man as he grabbed his horse's reins", "As she watched him grab his horse's reins", that's very repetitive to what happened in the previous sentence.

So, hopefully we spotted that one of those two needed to be edited to avoid repetition.

I've edited my second sentence.

Instead of using a second "as" adverbial subordinate clause, I'm going to use a different type.

I'm going to use a non-finite, so "Watching him turn away", comma.

So, remember, it's really important to use variation in our sentence types, and even if we're going to use complex sentences, we can use different types of complex sentence to keep things fresh and cohesive and engaging for our reader.

"Bess," again, the word "said", it's not very ambitious, it's not very descriptive.

She exclaimed, "Be careful!" And I can use that word "exclaimed" because in her direct speech punctuation, there's an exclamation mark, so I can use the word "exclaimed" here.

Now, if you edited your own writing, just do a quick check.

Did you check for appropriate and precise synonyms for "said", a range of precise vocabulary to avoid repetition, and spelling accuracy.

Well done if you did do all of those things.

Well done, everyone, and that now brings us on to the end of our lesson, where today we've been editing the speech section of "The Highwayman".

Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Editing involves making improvements to a piece of writing without completely rewriting it.

Punctuation, sentence structure, grammar, vocabulary, and spelling are sensible areas to focus on in editing.

Editing is a vital part of the writing process.

I hope you really feel like our editing lesson today has helped you improve your writing even further.

Well done!.