Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

My name is Mr. Brown and I'm your teacher for today's lesson and we're going to be editing, editing and improving our writing.

And that writing is all to do with "The Viewer" by Gary Crew.

So for this editing lesson, you will need a copy of Gary Crew's text, "The Viewer".

So pause the video and go and get your copy now.

And welcome back.

It is now time to start editing.

Let's go for it.

The outcome for today's lesson is I can edit the build-up of "The Viewer".

The keywords we'll use are editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and vocabulary.

Let's say this together.

My turn and then your turn.

Editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and vocabulary.

Brilliant.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Grammar is the set of rules that govern a language.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences.

Sentence structure is the way that words are arranged within sentences to convey meaning.

Vocabulary is the language choices made by a writer.

In today's lesson, we will be editing punctuation first, then editing sentence structure, and finally, editing vocabulary and spelling.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing, to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and what you will keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything again, it is about being selective with what you want to improve.

Now the job of an editor is to do all of these.

Check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, make improvements in language choices.

And in this lesson, you are going to be editors.

You'll be editing your own work.

Editing is the process of which two of these? Is it A, rewriting a whole piece of text? B, making improvements to language choices.

C, making improvements to sentence structure.

D, only correcting mistakes.

Which two of these is editing the process? Editing is the process of which two of these? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's have a look.

So A, rewriting a whole piece of text that is not editing.

I think some people worry about editing that you are going to have to rewrite an entire piece of text that you've written.

That is not the case.

B, making improvements to language choices and C, making improvements to sentence structure.

That's editing.

D, only correcting mistakes? No, you will be correcting mistakes when you're editing, but not only.

You will be improving language choices that you've made that are perfectly okay.

You're going to be taking things from good to exceptional.

That's what aiming for.

When we edit punctuation, we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes for possession.

Let's check you with a task here.

Correct the punctuation mistakes in this sentence, Tristan's heart beat wildly as he held the machine to his eyes, which were now wide open.

So sentence makes sense, sounds okay, but there are lots of punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

Your job is to find them and correct them.

So I suggest you pause the video and write this sentence out correctly with the correct punctuation.

Pause the video and have a go now.

Welcome back.

Let's see how you got on.

So we had Tristan's heartbeat wildly.

No capital letter at the start of your sentence.

Definitely something you should be looking for even at your age.

Looking and checking that you haven't missed a capital letter 'cause occasionally it happens.

We also had a comma missing after eyes.

So there was a relative clause in this sentence, wasn't it? Which were now open and there was no comma.

So well done if you spotted that.

And then finally, a full stop was missing at the end of this sentence.

So well done for putting in that also.

Commas have several functions.

Let's look as a piece of text and see the different functions of commas.

We have commas after an adverbial subordinate clause.

So as the sun set, comma.

That's your adverbial subordinate clause and a comma comes after it.

We also have commas in expanded noun phrases between adjectives.

The eager, young boy.

Eager and young are adjectives to describe the noun boy.

They need a comma between them.

Then we have commas after non-finite subordinate clauses.

Lifting the lid like a surgeon, comma.

That's the end of your non-finite subordinate clause.

Ah, a comma, after a fronted adverbial.

Gently, comma.

Exactly, we know there are fronted adverbials of time, of place, of manner, and gently is a front adverbial of manner and it needs a comma after it.

And finally, between a main and relative clause.

So we have lifting the lid like a surgeon, he peered inside the box.

That could be a full stop.

That's the end of your main clause.

But if you're adding a relative clause, you need a comma, which was full of unusual devices, including an old viewing machine with discs containing images.

So five different ways of using a comma.

And remember, only use a comma where you know the rule.

If you are not sure, the best thing to do at this stage is to leave it out.

I hope that you are sure of each of these different comma rules, but if you're not, don't use it.

When are commas used? Is it A, to separate a subordinate clause from a main clause? B, when you pause in a sentence.

C, after a fronted adverbial or D, in an expanded noun phrase.

And there are multiple correct answers.

When are commas used? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see if you managed to find the correct answers.

There were three correct answers.

We had A, to separate a subordinate clause from a main clause.

B, when you pause in a sentence.

Well, that is not a correct answer.

You do not use a comma where you pause in a sentence.

That's an easy mistake to make, a misconception and one that we should make sure we do not do.

C, after a fronted adverbial and D, in an expanded noun phrase were the other correct answers.

Time for a practise task.

Edit the punctuation in your build-up.

Make sure you're checking for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, missing or incorrectly used full stops, missing or incorrectly used commas, and missing or incorrectly used apostrophes.

If you do not have your own build-up or you completed editing that, then you are welcome to edit mine.

And I've put that on the screen for you there.

So pause the video and edit the punctuation in your build-up or my build-up now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's see if you managed to spot all the edits that needed to be made.

A mysterious objects, we missed the capital letter right at the start.

A mysterious object was calling out to him and Tristan's eyes.

Ah, of course, we missed an apostrophe for possession.

Tristan's eyes, the eyes belong to Tristan.

Tristan's eyes widened.

The curious boy reached down to pick up a peculiar, wooden box because peculiar and comma are.

Peculiar and wooden, sorry, are adjectives to describe the box.

They need a comma between them.

Then a full stop after the word box.

Okay, let's move on.

He felt that there was something unusual about this item.

Well, that sentence is perfectly okay.

A moment later, comma.

We can't miss commas after fronted adverbials.

A moment later, comma.

Tristan needs a capital letter because it's a proper noun and it's his name.

Tristan and then there's a comma because we are now adding a relative clause who was clutching his newly found treasure, comma, to close the relative clause and indicate that we are now back to the main clause.

Quietly scurried out of the dump.

Well done.

Lots of things to spot there.

I hope you managed to spot those and edit in your writing too.

Let's move on to editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

When editing, you should check all of these.

For missing words, that your writing makes sense, that your writing is cohesive.

And text cohesion refers to how a text flows to maintain the interest of the reader and achieve text purpose.

True or false.

Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text's purpose.

Is that true or is that false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's see if you were right.

Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text's purpose is true.

Well done if you said true.

Now let's justify our answer.

Should we justify with A, we achieve text cohesion through using fronted adverbials and a range of vocabulary choices? Or B, we achieve text cohesion through using fronted adverbials, a range of vocabulary choices, varied sentence types, and different conjunctions.

A or B.

How will you justify your answer? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you managed to justify correctly.

Well done if you said B, we achieve text cohesion through lots of different ways.

Through fronted adverbials, a range of vocabulary choices, varied sentence types is so important and different conjunctions.

Well done if you said B.

When editing sentence structure, we check for all of these.

Missing words, that our writing makes sense, that our writing is cohesive.

So let's use that information and have a look at some text.

He lifted the lid like a surgeon.

He peered inside the box, which was full of unusual devices.

His heart beat wildly in anticipation.

He wondered what the pictures be.

So I want you to have a look at that.

Can you see any missing words? Does our writing make sense? Is our writing cohesive? Okay, so I spotted two things.

I spotted poor cohesion here and a missing word here.

I wonder if you put it the same.

Now, in the example of poor cohesion, he lifted the lid like a surgeon, full stop.

He appeared inside the box, which was full of unusual devices.

Now that's two sentences.

I could join those with an and.

And the missing word of course was would.

He wondered what the pictures would be.

Time for a practise task.

I'd like you to edit the sentence structure in your build-up.

And again, if you don't have a build-up or you want to edit yours and then look at mine, then you can use mine, which is on the screen too.

Remember to check that there are no missing words that you are writing makes sense and your writing is cohesive.

Pause the video and have a go at this task now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's take a look.

So as he pressed down the lever, comma, Tristan froze in anticipation.

So I have added a subordinate clause before the name clause.

As he pressed on the lever, comma, Tristan froze in anticipation.

The tiny sound of the machine's ancient mechanisms whirring to life.

I've put that there because I missed the word the.

The tiny sound of the machine's ancient mechanisms whirring to life trickled into Tristan's ears.

When I said, trickled onto Tristan's ears.

So again, that didn't make sense.

And a light began to appear.

Well done if you spotted those edits too.

Finally, editing vocabulary and spelling.

When we edit vocabulary and spelling, we check for all of these.

Effective use of figurative language.

Show-not-tell and expanded noun phrases.

A range of precise vocabulary to avoid repetition and spelling accuracy.

Now here's an example.

We can see here, we've got repetition.

Gently, comma, Tristan, carefully placed the box.

Gently and carefully are both adverbs describing how he placed the box onto the bed.

You would only need one, so I would remove one of those.

I've also noticed an incorrect spelling.

Notised with an S instead of a C.

And then there is an inappropriate simile.

He lifted the lid like a farmer.

Well, a farmer isn't someone who would very carefully and delicately lift a lid.

So that's an inappropriate simile.

My language choice needs to be changed.

The vocabulary I've used isn't working for the intention that I have.

So I would cross out carefully and then I'd just read, "Gently, Tristan placed the box onto the bed." That's much better.

Incorrect spelling, I will improve that and inappropriate simile, they would need to go.

So I've got my repetition, my incorrect spelling, and inappropriate simile that I've spotted.

Writers should vary their language choices in narrative writing.

Is that true or false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Writers should vary their language choices in narrative writing.

It's true, but let's justify our answer.

Is it because they should be using a range of language choices that keep the reader engaged and enrich the writing? Or writers should use the same adjectives and nouns throughout a piece of writing to keep it simple for the reader.

A or B? Pause the video and justify your answer now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you justify correctly.

Well done if you said A, using a range of language choices keeps the reader engaged and enriches the writing.

It makes your writing so much more interesting to read.

Well done if you said that.

Time for a practise task.

I would like you to edit the vocabulary and spelling in your build-up.

If you don't have a build-up, you can use minds on the screen as well.

Remember, we are looking for effective use of descriptive language, a range of precise vocabulary and spelling accuracy.

Okay, pause the video and edit the vocabulary and spelling in your build-up now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you manage to spot the mistakes in my build-up.

So we had raising it, well, that isn't very precise.

Raising the contraption to his eyes.

He held his breath was spelled incorrectly.

I just had one E when I needed EA for that eh sound.

And pressed the lever.

The tiny sound of the machine's old mechanisms, well, ancient mechanisms is much more descriptive.

Whirring to life, went into Tristan's ears, trickled into Tristan's ears.

I removed his and replaced it with Tristan's ears.

And a light began to appear.

The disc, which was now pressed inside the machine, started with spelled incorrectly.

I missed the ED.

I just put D.

Started to go round.

Nothing I can use.

Best vocabulary started to rotate.

Those were the things that I spotted and edited.

I wonder if you did the same.

Let's summarise the learning that we've done today.

Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Editing involves making improvements to a piece of writing without completely rewriting it.

Punctuation, sentence structure, grammar, vocabulary, and spelling are sensible areas to focus on in editing.

Editing is a vital part of the writing process.

It absolutely is.

The work you've done today will have improved your writing so much.

Brilliant work and I will see you again very soon.