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Hi everybody and welcome to our lesson today.
Today, we are going to be editing our writing so far.
Today's learning objective is to edit our writing.
This is lesson number 13 of 15 and it's outcome number two.
In this lesson you will need your exercise book or lined paper, your pen, or pencil, your best learning brain and your letter, which you have written in this unit.
Pause the video if you need to go and get any of those things.
So today's agenda is first of all, to identify the purpose of editing.
Then we are going to work on editing practise, and finally, we are going to complete our independent task.
So the purpose of editing.
What is editing? Have some thinking time.
What is editing? Why do we edit? Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.
When you edit, you decide what will stay and what will be changed.
Even really successful authors need and want to edit their work.
So what does an editor do? An editor goes through a writer's work to check for mistakes and make improvements.
You are going to be editors today.
So we're going to do a bit of peer editing.
So you're going to help me edit some of my writing.
And then you're going to go off and edit your own writing.
That's called self editing.
So let's start with some peer editing.
So I have got an extract from some writing of mine.
I'd like you to pause the video and spot any mistakes I have made.
Take as long as you need to do that.
Let's read it through together first, Dear Aaron, I hope all is well with you and your family.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write, the last few weeks in England have been a whirlwind.
Okay.
So your task is to pause the video and spot the mistakes, off you go and I'll see you when you're ready.
Okay everyone, let's check for some mistakes.
Oh, of course.
I need a capital letter for Aaron.
It's a proper noun, it's his name.
Well done if you spotted that.
Let's read the next sentence.
I hope all is well with you and your family.
So anything there that needs to be corrected? Well done.
Oh, this is the not, this is an incorrect spelling of your.
Your as a homophobe, so I could spell it in two different ways.
I've put you're, as in you are, without the apostrophe.
I'm not sure that one's quite correct.
Can you suggest what the correct spelling of your is? Can you say it out loud please? Well done.
Y O U R.
That's the your for possession because we're talking about your family.
Okay.
Next sentence.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write.
The last few weeks in England have been a whirlwind.
I'm is a contraction, what's the uncontracted version.
I am, I'm, well done.
I'm sorry it's, oh, of course.
What's the uncontracted version of it? So it's, it's, it is.
Well done, oh, no, sorry.
It's not it is because it's past tense.
It's, it has, well done.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write.
The last few weeks in England have been a whirlwind.
I'm not sure this is all one sentence.
Can you point to where you think I should punctuate these two simple sentences or these two main causes? Well done if you spotted.
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write.
That's the end of the first main clause.
So I needed some punctuation in there.
I decided to go for a dash, but you could use a full stop if you wanted to as well.
Or a semicolon.
The last few weeks in England have been in whirlwind.
That all looks good to me.
Can you spot anything else? Oh, you're right.
Well done.
England needs a capital letter because it is a proper noun.
It's the name of a place.
Let's practise some editing in this sentence.
Does this sentence need any punctuation? I feel a mixture of emotions, frustration, humiliation, and disappointment.
It feels like there does need to be some punctuation there.
What should I use to introduce that list of emotions.
Have some thinking time.
Pause the video if you need to.
Okay.
Well done.
I'm hearing a few suggestions from you.
I feel a mixture of emotions, colon, of course.
I can use this colon to introduce my list.
Frustration, humiliation, and disappointment.
Now, do I need to punctuate that list.
Yes, you're right, well done.
I need a comma and a full stop at the end of the sentence.
Well done everyone.
Now can you suggest some more ambitious vocabulary to describe my feelings? So if I wrote the word angry in there, I think there are probably a few more ambitious or precise adjectives to describe my emotions.
So I've started off with furious.
Can you think of any other synonyms for angry that I could use in my writing.
You could pause the video and mind map these yourself first.
Okay, everyone.
Hopefully we've paused the video.
We've got a mind map of several different synonyms for angry.
I'm going to write down a few.
Oh, frustrated, your turn.
Livid, your turn.
Raging or filled with rage, your turn.
Fantastic.
Those are far more ambitious and precise adjectives than just the word angry.
What about sad? I feel so sad probably isn't precise enough.
I've started off with glum.
Can you think of any other sad synonyms we could use instead, which is more precise and ambitious.
Pause the video while you do that.
Well done everyone.
So I bet we've got some great suggestions for synonyms for sad.
I'm going to share my examples.
Deflated, your turn.
Disheartened, your turn.
Disappointed, your turn.
Well done everyone.
Okay.
So now we're going to move on to our independent task.
It's time for you to now edit your writing.
Here's our checklist for editing.
So we check carefully for capital letters, especially for proper nouns like England, London, Tilbury Docks, or Clapham.
We need to check for spelling.
So any of those words, which you find a little bit tricky, you could use a dictionary or a word bank if you're not sure.
Thinking about your punctuation.
So if we've used commas after our fronted adverbials, full stops at the end of sentences, exclamation marks or apostrophes for possession or contraction.
Check for sense, does it sound right? If you're not sure, maybe you could read it aloud to somebody else in your home.
And finally, maybe you could add some improvements to make your vocab more ambitious.
So I would like you to pause the video now, while you edit your writing and remember to use this checklist.
When you're done, you can press play.
Okay, everybody.
What a fantastic lesson we've had.