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Hi everybody and welcome to our lesson today.
We have been doing such an amazing job of our letter writing so far, and we're going to continue with writing the main body section of our letter today.
Let's get started.
Today's learning objective is to write the main body of our letter.
This is lesson 11 of 15, and it's outcome number two.
In this lesson today, you will need your exercise book or paper, your pen or pencil, and your best learning brain.
You'll also need your writing from the letter so far and any planning that you have done in this outcome.
So, today we're going to start by warming up with a spelling focus.
Then we're going to read a model.
Then we're going to spot some success criteria in the model.
And then you are going to write your paragraph.
So, for our writing warmup, we are going to be focusing on spellings.
I would like you to pause the video, while you choose the correct spelling.
Off you go and I'll see you when you're ready.
So let's begin by saying the words outlined.
My turn, qualifications, your turn.
Opportunities, your turn.
Frustrated, your turn.
Colleagues, your turn.
Well done.
Your task is to circle, or choose the correct spelling.
You can either write down the correct one, or you can point to the spelling that you think is correct.
Pause the video while you do that, and I'll see you again when you're ready.
Okay everybody, so hopefully you've all paused the video and you've all had a go at choosing the correct spelling.
Now we're going to go through the answers together.
So, qualifications is on the right hand side, the correct spelling.
It's not qualifecations.
It's qualifications.
Up next, opportunities, not oppertunities.
That's quite a tricky one because it sounds like it could be spelled with an "er", but we've got to learn that it's an "or" spelling.
Up next, frustrated.
Is there a missing letter in one of those spellings? Well done.
So on the left hand side, we've got the correct spelling.
And finally colleagues, this is a tricky spelling.
It's from the French language.
Has it got a single "l" or a double "l"? Well done if you've got this one right.
It's a double "l" in colleagues.
If you got any of those wrong, don't worry, but maybe take a moment to write down the correct spellings now, because you might be using some of these words in your writing.
So, now we're going to read a model.
I'm going to read it first and you can pause the video and re-read it yourself if you would like to.
Finding a job in England has been much more challenging than I expected.
I've applied to countless local hospitals, but they've all rejected my qualifications.
It's very disappointing, disheartening and frustrating to be rejected, especially after all the hard work I had to do in order to gain those qualifications in Jamaica.
Fortunately, I've finally found a job,.
I'm now in charge of maintenance on the hospital floors, keeping the wards clean, fixing any problems and making sure resources are stocked.
It's tiring work and the pay is minimal, but it is better than nothing.
So you can pause the video if you would like to re-read this on your own.
Now we're going to talk about success criteria.
So this is the same success criteria we have been using so far in our letter.
Number one is informal tone.
Number two is describing emotions.
Number three is using fronted adverbials of time or place to order the events.
I would like you now to spot an example of each success criteria in this paragraph, and you can press play once you are finished.
Okay everybody.
So hopefully, we have all taken some time to try and spot an example of the success criteria in my model.
Let's go through it together.
So an example of informal tone.
I've.
What's the uncontracted version of "I've"? Say it out loud.
Well done.
Hm, hm, "I've" would become I've, I have.
Well done.
So that's an example of a contracted word, which we would expect to see in informal writing.
Up next, some tell.
Where have I described my emotions? Of course, it's very disappointing, disheartening and frustrating.
I've listed three emotions that I'm feeling there.
And finally, using fronted adverbials of time or place.
Now, there's not actually a fronted adverbial of time or place in this paragraph.
Because if I look at the opening of every sentence, "finding a job", it's not a fronted adverbial, "I've", not a fronted adverbial.
"It's", no.
"Fortunately", now that is a fronted adverbial but can you tell me what type of fronted adverbial it is? Fortunately, it's another word for luckily.
Well done.
This is a fronted adverbial of manner.
So it is a fronted adverbial, but it's not the type that's in my success criteria, because I'm using fronted adverbials of time or place to order the events.
Fronted adverbials of manner don't put things in order.
They just give the reader more information about the verb.
So, that's okay though, because remember this success criteria is for the entire letter.
So, if it doesn't feel right to put in a fronted adverbial of time or place in this paragraph, that's okay.
Because we have done that in our other paragraphs so far.
Okay, so now I would like you to use your success criteria and your planning.
So here's our example plan on the screen, but you've also got your own plan from a previous lesson.
And I would like you to write your paragraph about finding a job, and you can press play once you're done.
Well done everyone.
I bet you are feeling really proud of the paragraph that you have just written.
Now, we're not quite finished because I need you now to go through, re-read your paragraph and check that you have punctuated it correctly, and that your writing makes sense.
And then I want you to go through and find one example of each success criteria, if you've included it in this paragraph.
And then you are ready to go.
Well done everybody.
What a fantastic lesson today.
And I'm hoping you feel really, really proud of your writing today.