Lesson video

Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham, and it's so good to see you here for today's lesson.

Today we are going to start writing the build-up of the story of "Beowulf and the dragon." So this is a fantastic opportunity for us to produce some really dramatic and exciting writing showing off all of our writing skills.

Let's get to work.

Today's lesson is called writing the first half of the build-up of "Beowulf and the dragon," and it comes to unit called Beowulf narrative writing.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll have written the first half of the build-up of "Beowulf and the dragon," using a range of narrative elements and a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas.

And for this lesson, you will need to have the plan that you wrote in the previous lesson with you.

If you're ready, let's begin.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

Narrative elements are the content of a narrative, often including action, description, dialogue, animations.

Cohesive devices are language structures that develop text cohesion.

A complex sentence is a sentence formed of at least one main clause and a subordinate clause.

And oral rehearsal means practising saying ideas for sentences out loud before you write them.

Here's our lesson outline today.

We're gonna start off by preparing to write, then we'll write the first and the second paragraphs of our build-up.

So over the next two lessons, we'll be writing four paragraphs telling the build-up of "Beowulf and the dragon." We'll have paragraph 1 where the dragon attacks the stronghold, paragraph 2 where Beowulf surveys the damage, and explains that he will lead the attack on the dragon, paragraph 3 where Beowulf goes to Eagleness, and summons the dragon, and paragraph 4 where the dragon emerges and approaches Beowulf.

So we're not getting into the fight, of course, because this is the build-up to our narrative.

So today we're going to write the first two paragraphs, paragraph 1 and paragraph 2.

We'll use our really detailed plan to help us.

And, of course, you can refer as well to your text map that you know really well by now if you wish.

That's gonna really help you if you're struggling.

So what's the purpose of the build-up? Well, we are trying to introduce the problem in this story, which is of course, the dragon, and the fact that it's attacking the Geats, and it's going to build the tension and a sense of threat in the plot.

So the threat that Geats face is this terrible devastating attack by the dragon, and we need to show that that causes tension for these people.

So as a result, we need to make sure we do the following to build this tension, and really introduce this problem, the dragon, really effectively.

So we're going to tell the action in a pacey way so it feels tense and fast moving.

We're gonna give our reader a clear description of the dragon and the destruction it causes so they understand this problem we are introducing is a serious problem.

We're going to show the characters emotions clearly to show that the dragon is causing them to feel tense, and in some cases, scared as well.

And we're going to use characters dialogue to show the emotions they have.

So notice how we're using all our different narrative elements, action description, emotions, and dialogues to help build towards this tense, pacey mood that we're setting in our build-up.

So let's check if we understand those narrative elements really well.

Which narrative element is shown in each of these examples? Is it action, description, emotion, or dialogue? Pause the video and have a think.

Well, it's that good thinking.

So for the first one, I've got the dragon slid out to this cave and it's slid the down the slope towards Beowulf.

Slid and slithered are really good action verbs, aren't they? B says his back was covered in leathery spines and its neck was long and sinuous.

Here we are describing the dragon's description, and C says Beowulf's pulse was racing and his heart was pounding.

He was determined to get his revenge.

Now we haven't said what Beowulf's feeling is necessarily, but we said his pulse is racing and his heart is pounding so we're using some show not tell there to show his emotions here.

So we've got action, description and emotion.

I don't have dialogue here, but you've spotted that instantly, wouldn't you, by the use of inverted commas.

We're gonna try and mix up these narrative elements and use them in ways that show this pace and tension we need.

Now, of course, when we're writing, we always want to connect our ideas using a range of different cohesive devices to help our reader understand how pieces of information are connected together.

So we might want to use a range of complex sentences.

For example, adverbial complex sentence, a relative complex sentence, and a non-finite (-ing) complex sentence.

Let's quickly look at some examples.

Adverbial complex sentence contains an a adverbial clause, which starts with a subordinating conjunction.

For example, "As Beowulf surveyed the charred remains of the stronghold, a tear formed in the corner of his eye." In purple, you can see the adverbial clause starting with a subordinating conjunction "As." A relative complex sentence contains a relative clause starting with a relative pronoun like who or which or whose.

For example, "The dragon, whose wings were so large they hid the moon, swoop down towards the stronghold." Here my relative clause in purple starts with that relative pronoun "Whose," and it tells me more about that noun phrase, the dragon, which comes before it.

We've also got a non-finite (-ing) complex sentences.

For instance, this one.

"Calling his warriors together, Beowulf explain that he would defeat the dragon alone." That section in purple is our non-finite (-ing) clause, starting with a verb in its (-ing) form, in this case "calling." So three great ways we can use complex sentences to really show connections between ideas in our writing.

We can also do that using compound sentences, using "and" and "but' and "or" to connect two main clauses together.

And we can, of course, use fronted adverbials of place or "At that moment," or "Suddenly," which can really help to add pace to our writing as well.

We can also use colons and semicolons as cohesive devices.

And the colon is a really good way of introducing the explanation.

What comes after the colon explains what came before it.

So for example, the mead-hall was reduced to smouldering ash." Why? Well let's put the colon, and then the explanation afterwards.

"It had been hit by a huge fireball from the dragons gaping maw.".

Here's another one.

"Beowulf was determined to fight the dragon alone." Why? Well, we put the colon and explained why afterwards.

"He knew that no other Geat will be able to defeat it." Notice how what comes after the colon explains what comes before, it does not start with a capital letter because it's part of the same sentence.

And a semicolon is a great way of joining two closely related sentences together.

So for example, "On one side he saw the charred remains of the palisades; on the other, he saw the smouldering embers of his beloved mead-hall.".

These are both descriptions of the devastated stronghold.

So they're very closely related, so you've connected them together with that semicolon.

And remember, in both these cases, what's on either side of the punctuation must be a complete sentence.

That's true of both colons here and of semicolons for the ways we've used them here.

So which sentence uses a colon correctly as a cohesive device? Pause the video and decide.

Great job.

Hopefully you spotted that it is C.

Here we've got "Beowulf was overwhelmed with sadness: his beloved home was a pile of smouldering ash." So what comes after the colon explains what comes before, and both parts could be complete sentences on their own.

Really well done for spotting that.

So let's do our first task in this lesson.

We've seen that we want to include a range of narrative elements in our writing connected together using a range of cohesive devices.

Here's an example of doing this appropriately.

It says, "For 50 years, Beowulf reigned as king of the Geats.

When neighbouring countries attacked, his warriors repelled them with ease.

Beowulf, who is known as a great leader, built an impressive stronghold near Eagleness.

Its wooden palisades were high; its vast mead-hall was as impressive as Heorot itself.

Beowulf was content: his people were safe and his reputation was secure." So you can see this is coming right before what we're about to introduce in our build-up.

So can you see what narrative elements and cohesive devices have been used in this example? Pause the video and have a chat with the people around you about which cohesive devices and narrative elements you can see here.

Have a go.

Well done, fantastic job.

Let's look at our cohesive devices first of all.

We can see here a for instance, a bit of time for 50 years.

We've got an adverbial complex sentence here, starting with the subordinating conjunction "when." We've got a relative complex sentence with the relative clause, "Who was known as a great leader." We've got a semicolon here to connect to closely related sentences, both describing the stronghold that they've built, and here we've got a colon which introduce an explanation.

We've got "Beowulf was content." Why was he content? His people were safe.

Really well done if you spotted this.

Now let's look at those narrative elements.

Well here, we've got some actions.

He's reigning as king, and his warriors are repelling their enemies.

We've got some description here about the palisades and the mead-hall, and finally, we've got some emotion here.

Then we're saying that Beowulf is content, and explaining why.

So we've used both a range of cohesive devices and a range of narrative elements in this example.

We're gonna try and do the same in our writing.

So now we're ready to think about writing the first paragraph.

So let's get prepared.

Before we write, it's really useful to orally rehearse our ideas, connecting our notes together into complete sentences out loud using different cohesive devices as we've just discussed.

So we're going to practise our oral rehearsal.

Here are two of my notes for paragraph 1.

I remember paragraph 1 is where the dragon attracts the stronghold.

So in my notes from my plan I wrote, "Late at night, colossal dragon swooped down; vast wings and iridescent scales, breathed fire at stronghold from gaping maw." Those are just my first two bullet point notes.

So I'm going to practise saying these loud as complete sentences.

I may see something like this.

"Late at night, a colossal dragon swooped down from the inky-black sky; its vast wings and its iridescent scales shimmered in the moonlight.

Opening its gaping maw, it breathed fire down on the stronghold." So I've taken my notes, and I've practised saying them out loud in complete sentences.

Notice here, I've started with the fronted adverbial of time, "Late at night." I've got a semicolon there, and I've got my non-finite (-ing) complex sentence at the end there, "Opening its gaping maw." So I've done my first attempt at joining these ideas from my plan together using some of these cohesive devices.

So now you have a go.

Here are two more notes from my plan.

I've written "Buildings become smouldering ash, palisade ablaze, villagers screaming, sprinting, putting out fires." How could you say these notes out loud as complete sentences connecting them with cohesive devices? Pause the video and have a go.

Remember, it might be more than one sentence and that is absolutely fine.

Have a go.

Well done, great job.

Here's an example of what you might have said.

"On every side, thatched buildings were reduced to smouldering ash; within seconds, the tall palisades that surrounded the stronghold were ablaze, lighting up the darkness.

villagers screamed desperately as they sprinted from their torched huts.

One man dashed around with a bucket of water attempting to douse the flames.

It was no use." Now obviously, I had a lot of time to write that down so I had a much easier job than you did.

So don't panic if yours doesn't sound quite like that yet, you are absolutely on the right path and by doing your oral rehearsal, you make your writing task so much easier when you come to do it.

So great job there.

So now let's orally rehearse using your own plan.

So I want you to orally rehearse your first paragraph out loud, trying to use a range of cohesive devices to connect to each sentence.

So you get to look at your plan, and your text map if you want, and you're going to say the sentences out loud that you'd like to write.

And you might want to try out different cohesive devices to see which ones work best for each set of notes that you are using.

I want you to add any descriptive details you think are needed.

You'll notice I added in some extra stuff when I orally rehearsed mine a minute ago.

And you might want to note them down on your plan when you've thought of them so you don't forget them.

And remember, we're trying to build tension and give a clear description of the dragon and the destruction that's it brings.

So pause the video and have a go orally rehearsing your first paragraph using your plan notes, and if you like, your story map as well.

Have a go.

Well done, fantastic job.

Here's Izzy's oral rehearsal of this paragraph.

"Late one night, the villagers in the Geat stronghold were sleeping soundly as a vast dragon glided silently overhead.

Its vast black wings were silhouetted against the moon, and its iridescent scales shimmered darkly.

Swooping down low over the thatched buildings, it opened its sharp-toothed maw.

Instantly, scorching fire gushed out, turning buildings into piles of smouldering ash.

The screaming villagers who were desperate to save their homes rushed around with pails of water.

It was no use.

Soon, almost every building was ablaze." So again, I had a lot more time to write this one because I was actually writing it down instead of saying it out loud.

So don't panic if yours doesn't sound quite this detailed yet, I'm sure you'll be able to add in all that detail when you come to write in a moment.

So here's the success criteria we're going to use to write today.

It says, "I've included a range of narrative elements including action, description, emotion, and dialogue." It says, "I've connected ideas from my plan using a range of cohesive devices, including different types of complex sentence." And, "I've used colons to introduce explanations, and semicolons to connect closely related sentences." And, of course, we can tick these off as we write.

So now let me show you how to write this paragraph.

Okay, here we have our success criteria.

And I'm going to begin by describing the dragon appearing in the sky.

And I think you can just start with a cohesive device, which gives a fronted adverbial of time.

So I'm going to say, "When is all this happening?" using a fronted adverbial of time, I'm going to say, "Late one night," to show this is a surprise attack by the dragon on the Geat stronghold.

I'm gonna follow that with a comma, of course.

And then I'm gonna say what this dragon, where this dragon appear.

So I'm gonna say, I could say vast, immense, colossal.

What do you think? Yeah, let's say a colossal dragon.

So a colossal dragon.

Now I could say words like beast and so on later on, but I really have to say dragon to start with, don't I? Or my reader's not going to understand what this beast is.

Okay, so what did that dragon do? Well, I think I'm gotta start by saying its appearance in the sky.

So I'm gonna have loomed, I think, is my verb here.

So I'm gonna say, "A colossal dragon loomed in the something sky." So let's describe this sky.

How could we describe it? Yeah, we could try and emphasise the darkness, couldn't we? We could say black sky, dark sky, night sky.

But I would use night.

Hmm, yeah.

Let's do something a bit more descriptive.

Let's use a compound adjective and a hyphen.

We can say the ink-black sky.

Okay, I like that.

Okay, and I'm gonna finish with a full stop there.

And now I'm gonna describe that dragon.

I'm gonna talk about its wings and about its scales.

So I wanna say how big its wings are.

So I've used colossal here, so I'm going to say a different word to show size.

I could say vast or immense here.

Let's go for vast.

So I'm gonna say, "It's vast wings," and oh, do you remember that really good word we had for shiny, which we could use to describe the scales.

Well done.

Iridescent.

So I could say, "It's vast wings and iridescent scales did what? I need a verb, don't I? So what did those wings and scales do in this ink-black sky.

We could say glisten, couldn't we? Yeah, we could say glisten or shimmered in the moonlight.

Which do you think? Yeah, I think glisten is slightly more sinister, isn't it? So let's have glisten in the moonlight.

Okay, so that gives this kind of idea.

Oh, I'm sorry, I put glistening.

We want glisten 'cause we're writing in the past tense here.

So we're trying to kind of emphasise slightly sinister things about this dragon.

So it's vast wings and iridescent scales glisten in the moonlight.

Okay, so let's just check about what we've written.

"Late one night, a colossal dragon loomed in the ink-black sky.

It's vast wings and iridescent scales glistened in the moonlight." Now I actually think those are two closely related sentences.

So I could actually get rid of this full stop, and change it into a semicolon, and then I could change this I into a small I, and we've joined together these two sentences because they're closely related to show we've got the dragon appearing here, and here's the description of it.

Those are closely connected so we've used a cohesive device there to show our reader that these are related sentences.

Okay, I think I now want to show it going down into the Geat stronghold, don't I? So I'm going to say, I think I'm going to use a complex sentence here, an adverbial complex sentence.

So I'm going to use "as" to show two things happening at once.

So I could say, "As it swooped down," what did it do that caused all this problem? Yeah, it breathed fire, didn't it? So I'm gonna say, "As it swooped low," over what? Yeah, well done.

"As it swooped low over the Geat stronghold," capital G for Geat, because we're talking about a nation of people.

So, "As it swooped low over the Geat stronghold," and then of course my comma's gonna come after that because that's my adverbial clause.

And then I need a main clause after this.

So what did it do? Hmm, well I could say it opened its mouth and it breathed out fire.

But I think I could go straight to just describing the fire.

So I'm gonna put a noun phrase here after my comma.

I can say, A bright jet of fire," or I could say, "A river of fire," perhaps.

But I think we can go with jet, "A bright jet of fire." Where did that fire come from? Yeah, I could say, "Came from its mouth," or "Appeared from its mouth." Is there a better word we could use as that verb instead of came or appeared? Yeah, I like flew because that kind of emphasises the speed with which that fire came out of its mouth.

So flew from now we could say mouth, but we did actually learn a great vocabulary word for describing an open mouth, didn't we? Yeah, we had more, didn't we? And we can even say, "Gaping more," to show that it's a big wide kind of scary mouth.

More is very much a negative word for us to use it.

Let's just check this.

"As it swooped over the Geat stronghold, a bright jet of fire flew from its gaping maw." Okay, I like that.

So now we've gotta show the buildings caught catching fire, don't we? Now why did they catch fire? Yeah, because they were made of wood and of thatch.

So I think I could include that in a relative complex sentence.

So I'm gonna start with a fronted adverbial of time.

I'm gonna say "instantly" because they would definitely have caught fire very fast, wouldn't they? we're gonna say, "Instantly for buildings," and then I'm gonna say.

"What they were made of," using my relative clause.

How could we do that? The buildings which.

Well done.

Yeah, "the buildings which were made of wood and thatch," did what? Yeah, well done.

They caught fire.

So I'm gonna finish my relative clause here.

"Instantly, the buildings which were made of wood and thatch caught fire." Now it should be the case that if I remove the relative clause, the rest of the sentence makes sense.

Let's try it.

"Instantly, the buildings caught fire." Yeah, we've just dropped in that extra information using our relative clause to explain something about the buildings.

And it's a really helpful fact, isn't it? 'Cause it explains why they caught fire so fast.

So now I'm gonna give a bit of description of what that fire looked like.

So let's describe two parts of the stronghold.

I'm gonna say you remember those palisades that surrounded it? So I could say the, well how can we describe them? I could say wooden, but I kind of used wood here.

So I think it could describe 'em as tall, couldn't I? So I could say, "The tall palisades," or you could say "imposing" perhaps.

So if the tall palisades were, I could say on fire or what's a better way of saying that? Yeah, we could use ablaze that we learned, couldn't we? So "The tall palisades were ablaze," and I could say and couldn't I and add the other one.

Oh, but I wonder if I could do this as an adverbial complex sentence and use "while" instead.

"The tall palisades were ablaze while," what was happening to the mead-hall? Yeah, we could say, "Yt was reduced to a pile of ash," or "It was reduced to smouldering ashes," which you prefer.

Yeah, well done.

So you could say, "The mead-hall was reduced to smouldering ash." Okay, so can you see that we used "while" to show these two things happening at the same time? We could have used "and" it would've worked just as well.

But because we're targeting complex sentence here, that was a sensible choice to make.

Okay, let's finish with just one sentence to add some emotion in now 'cause we've definitely got some description of the fire and of the dragon.

We've got some actions happening for sure.

Let's get some emotion in here.

So what are the villagers doing that we could show using our emotions? Yeah, they're scared, aren't they? So they might be running around screaming.

So I'm gonna use a non-finite (-ing) clause here, screaming.

There's my verb and it's (-ing) form, "Screaming in fear." What did the villagers do? Yeah, we could say villagers ran from their homes, and that would be enough, wouldn't it? We've explained their emotions in response to this attack, but I could actually add a colon here and say why were they doing that? 'Cause we can use a colon to induce the explanation, can't we? Why were they running from their homes? Yeah, it's true, their homes on fire.

But what are they thinking about this dragon? Do they believe they can defeat it? No, absolutely not.

So we could say, "They knew," we could say, "They knew they had no chance against the dragon," or we could say, "They knew they were no match." Yeah, like that they were no match for what? Yeah, you could say for this dragon.

But could we now use a different noun phrase instead of for the dragon? Yeah, for this something beast.

What could we say? Yes.

Let's say this fearsome beast.

So you've explained that after the colon why they're running from their homes, they knew they were no match for this fiercesome beast.

Okay, let's read this through, and then we'll check off our success criteria.

"Late one night, a colossal dragon loomed in the ink-black sky, its vast wings and iridescent scales glistened in the moonlight.

As it swooped low over the Geat stronghold, a bright jet of fire flew from its gaping maw.

Instantly, the buildings which were made of wood and thatch caught fire.

The tall palisades were ablaze while the mead-hall was reduced to smouldering ash.

Screaming and fear, villagers ran from their homes.

They knew they were no match for this fearsome beast." So we've definitely got our different narrative elements.

We don't have dialogue here, but we do have description, action, and emotion.

We've used lots of cohesive devices, we've used three different types of complex sentence, adverbial, relative, and non-finite (-ing), and we've also got lots of fronted adverbials of time as well.

And we've got both a semicolon to connect our two close close related sentences here, and our colon at the end here to introduce our explanation.

So we've definitely met all our criteria.

Okay, you've seen my version, now it's your turn.

I want you to write this paragraph using your success criteria and your plan.

Remember to think or save sentence before you write it and check it back when you've written it to make sure it's exactly what you wanted to say.

Pause the video, and have a go at writing your first paragraph.

Great.

So well done.

Here's an example of how the start of this paragraph could look.

I've written, "Late one winter night, as the last few Geat warriors left the mead-hall, an immense shadow fell over the stronghold.

Suddenly, a colossal dragon swooped down from the dark sky.

Its vast wings seem to block out half the light, and its iridescent scales gleaned in the starlight.

As it glided low of the thatched roofs, it opened its vast maw." So I've got my narrative element, for instance, "swooped down" as an action, "iridescent scales," as description, I've got my cohesive devices, for instance, "late one winter night" is a fronted adverbial of time, I've got "and" to make a compound sentence, and "as there" to start an adverbial complex sentence.

And I've got my semicolon here to join together these two closely related sentences here.

I haven't used a colon yet, but I'm gonna do one in the next part of this paragraph.

So here's how the rest of this paragraph could look.

It says, "Instantly, a jet of fire gushed out which set the thatched roofs ablaze.

Before long, many buildings were reduced to smouldering ash; the high palisades were on fire.

Villagers ran screaming from their homes.

They knew there was no hope of saving them.

One man sprinted from building to building, trying hopelessly to put out the fires.

Again, I've got my narrative element, I've got some description, some emotion there with screaming, and sprinted as an action.

I've got my cohesive devices, I've got "which" to make a relative complex sentence there, "before long" as a fronted adverbial of time, and trying my non-finite (-ing) complex sentence and I've got colons and semicolons.

Here, my semicolon joins two place related descriptions of the stronghold and my colon here is introducing the explanation for why the villagers run screaming from their homes.

Really well done for your effort there.

Fantastic first paragraph.

Let's keep going for the second one.

So let's prepare to write our second paragraph now.

So here, we're going to follow the same process of oral rehearsal in order to prepare ourselves to write.

So here are two of my notes from my second paragraph.

Remember in paragraph 2, we have Beowulf surveying the damage and explaining that he wants to be the one to lead the attack.

And we also have a bit of pushback from Wiglaf, don't we, to that suggestion.

So my notes say, "Next morning, Beowulf surveyed smouldering ruins, charred remains of granary, blackened mead-hall.

So I could connect these together like this in my oral rehearsal.

I could say, "Early the next morning, Beowulf walked through the ruined stronghold, surveying the smouldering ruins of his home.

To his right, he saw the charred remains of the granary; to his left there was the blackened mead-hall." So again, you can see I've continued to use cohesive devices, for instance "Early the next morning," as a fronted adverbials of time, and my semicolon here to connect two descriptions of what's happened to the stronghold.

So my descriptions are joined because they're closely related.

So how could you say these notes out loud as complete sentences connecting them with cohesive devices? I've said here, "Beowulf sad and furious, gritted teeth, clenched fist," some emotion there, and called warriors together, "If we don't act, will return!" So that's my dialogue.

So see how we're combining those narrative elements still.

So pause the video and have a go at oral rehearsing how I could write these notes as complete sentences.

Have a go.

Well done.

Great job.

So I could say something like this, "Beowulf gritted his teeth and clenched his fists; he was furious.

He called the Geat warriors together in Wiglaf's stone house, which was the only one still standing.

'If we don't defeat this beast, it will return,' he bellowed." So there I've got a column there introducing an explanation.

Why is he gritting his teeth and why is he clenching his fists? He's doing it because he's furious.

And I've got a relative complex sentence too where I've used that relative clause, "which was the only one still standing," to add detail about Wiglaf's stone house, and explain why they were in that house instead of the other ones which were in ruins.

Really well done for your oral rehearsal there.

So I'd like you to now already rehearse your second paragraph out loud, trying to connect your ideas using a range of cohesive devices.

So again, look at your plan notes, and your text map if you want, and say the sentences out loud that you'd like to use, making sure you try out different cohesive devices before you settle on one that you think works really well.

And, of course, add those descriptive details and note them down if you'd like to.

Making sure we're trying to build the tension here and give a really clear description of the destruction mostly in this paragraph that the dragon has caused.

Pause the video and have a go at oral rehearsing your second paragraph.

Well done.

Fantastic job.

Here's Izzy's version of this paragraph.

And remember, yours might not sound just like this here, but it will really help you to have oral rehearsed it when you come to write.

She said, "When the sun rose the next day, Beowulf sadly surveyed the damage.

The granary was a pile of charred remains and the mead-hall was blackened and crumbling.

Beowulf, who was both sad and furious, gritted his teeth and clenched his still-powerful fists.

Calling his warriors together, he bellowed, 'If we don't act now, the dragon will only return.

I will defeat it alone!' Wiglaf protested angrily; he knew that the ageing warrior was not as strong as he once was, but it was no use: Beowulf mind was made up." So notice there a range of cohesive devices including at the end there, that colon, to introduce that explanation.

Why was it no use? It was no use because Beowulf's mind was already made up.

Really well done for your oral rehearsal there.

Great job.

So now it's your turn to write this paragraph, making sure, of course, you use our success criteria again and your plan to write.

Make sure you think and say your sentences out loud before you write them and check them back once you've written them.

Pause the video and have a go in writing this paragraph.

Fantastic job.

Well done.

Here's how the start of this paragraph could look.

"As the sun rose the next day, Beowulf stalked through the smouldering ruins of the stronghold.

On his left, they lay the charred remains of the once glorious mead-hall; on the right, he saw the blackened and smouldering palisades.

Beowulf was deeply upset: he felt as if he had failed his people.

Gritting his teeth, he clenched his fist in fury." So again, I've got those narrative elements like "stalked" of action, "blackened and smouldering" as description, and "clenched his fist in fury" shows me emotion.

Then I've got my cohesive devices like "as" and "on his left," and "gritting," their starting and non-finite (-ing) clause.

And I've got my semicolon here to connect descriptions of the stronghold and my colon to introduce an explanation.

Why was he upset? He felt if he'd failed his people.

Here's how the end of the paragraph would look.

"Beowulf called his warriors together in Wiglaf's stone hall, which was the only building left standing.

'I plant to defeat this dragon in hand-to-hand combat!' he bellowed.

Wiglaf was concerned: he knew that the wrinkled old warrior was not as strong as before.

But Beowulf, who was determined to defend his people could not be deterred." Again, we've got this narrative elements, we've got our dialogue this time, "he bellowed," we've got an emotion, "concerned," and we've got "wrinkled old warrior," as a description.

We've got our cohesive devices, a relative clause here, "which was the only building left standing," and another relative clause starting with "who" at the end here.

And finally we've got our colon here to introduce an explanation.

Why was Wiglaf concerned? Well, he knows the Beowulf is not as strong as he used to be.

So I've tried to meet all my success criteria there, and my oral rehearsal really helped me to do that.

And I've also managed to really build that tense and pacey feeling we want when we're writing this build-up.

Really well done for your writing as well.

Great job.

Let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

We're writing the build-up in "Beowulf and the dragon," aiming to show the nature of the problem Beowulf faces and the tension rising in the story.

We know that we aim to include a range of narrative elements including action, description, emotion, and dialogue.

We know we can connect ideas from our notes using a range of cohesive devices, including a range of complex sentences as well as columns and semicolons.

And we know it's helpful to orally rehearse our ideas for sentences before we write.

Really well done in this lesson, and I hope you're really proud of the first few paragraphs that you've produced.

I'd love to see you again in the next lesson so that we can complete this build-up together.

Goodbye.