Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham, and I'm so glad you decided to join me for today's lesson.

Today we're going to begin writing the duel scene from act three, scene one of "Romeo and Juliet", aiming to produce a tense and pacy atmosphere in our narrative writing.

I think you're going to do some fantastic work today, so let's make a start.

Today's lesson is called writing the first half of the duel scene, and it comes from our unit called Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet": Diary and Narrative Writing.

By the end of today's lesson, you'd have written the first half of the duel scene, using a range of cohesive devices and all the elements of a narrative.

And for this lesson, you will need to have access to the plan you wrote in the previous lesson.

However, if you don't have it with you, I will be showing you my plan, which you can use during this lesson.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

Narrative elements are the content of a narrative, often including action, description, dialogue and emotions.

Cohesive devices are language features that contribute to text cohesion.

And a fronted adverbial of time is a sentence starter that tells the reader when something happens.

And dialogue is a conversation between two or more people, written in a text or story.

Here's our lesson outline today.

We're going to start off by writing the first event in a narrative, and then we'll move on to writing the second event, leaving two more to write in the next lesson.

So we are now ready to start writing our narrative version of the duel scene in the climax of "Romeo and Juliet".

And we'll be covering four key events in four paragraphs: The first event will be Mercutio and Tybalt duelling, followed by Mercutio in pain and dying, followed by Romeo reacting to the death.

And finally, Romeo and Tybalt duelling to the death.

So we'll be writing these two events in two paragraphs today.

We're going to use the third person.

We're going to write in the past tense, and we're going to aim to create a tense and pacy atmosphere in our writing.

So which of the sentences below uses the third person and the past tense appropriately for our narrative? Pause the video and have a careful look.

That's it.

Good job.

Hopefully you spotted that it is C.

In A, we can see some evidence of the first person there, "As I shook my head." And B is written in the present tense, "As Romeo shakes his head." And in C, we've got "Romeo shook", showing the writing in the third person and the past tense, which is what we're going to do today.

Now in the plans we've written, we've written notes that plan to include a range of different narrative elements.

For instance, action, description, dialogue and emotion.

I'm going to use those today to write sentences that include these narrative elements.

For example, for action, we could say, Romeo fell to his knees and he clutched his friend's body tightly.

Fell and clutched show me strong actions happening there.

We want description like this: Mercutio's crimson blood stained his snow-white clothes.

There, crimson and and snow white as adjectives really helped to build a mental picture for the reader of what they're imagining there.

For dialogue, we've got things like this: "A plague on both your houses!" he rasped hoarsely.

And we've taken those words directly from Shakespeare's own language.

And of course we'll want to include lots of emotions too like this: He gritted his teeth and his face contorted in agony.

So I'm showing Mercutio's feeling emotion of pain there.

And sometimes these are going to be overlapping, and they're going to be mixed together into one sentence and that is absolutely fine.

In fact, it's a good thing.

But we just want to make sure we include all four of these elements throughout our work.

Now here's Jun's plan for the first event, that duel between Tybalt and Mercutio.

So where has Jun included the different narrative elements? Pause the video and have a look.

That's it.

Good job.

So hopefully you spotted he's got some action.

For instance, Tybalt lunged and he stabbed Mercutio in the chest.

We've got description like this, that his blade glinted in the sun.

We've got emotion like this.

He was drenched in sweat and panting, showing his tiredness.

And we've got dialogue like this, where Romeo is telling the fighters to stop what they're doing.

So we've got a mixture of these different elements in our plan, and we're going to carry that through to our writing today.

Now although we've included some description in our plans, we might want to add some more as we write and often we're going to be describing nouns.

From the table, I've put some nouns that we might see in this first event.

What description do you think you could give for each of these nouns? Pause the video and have a think.

That's it.

Good job.

So for their rapiers, you could say his shimmering rapier or his sharp-tipped, steel rapier.

For the square or the street, we've got the dusty, deserted square or a narrow, cobbled street.

I'm adding adjective to describe that noun.

For the sun and the heat, I could say the baking sun, the bright midday sun, the blazing mid-afternoon heat, and for the hit or the blow from the rapier, I could say a heavy blow, a bone-crunching blow or a juddering blow.

So in all of these cases, the adjectives help me read it to understand more precisely what I'm talking about and what they should be visualising as they read.

So now look at your own plan for the first event.

We're going to practise, making sure we're ready to write now.

I want to check that you can say each idea out loud in simple sentences.

So I've taken my first note here, Mercutio swaggered towards Tybalt, and I've written or I said Mercutio swaggered over to Tybalt.

So I'd let you now to try and say each of your notes out loud as one or more simple sentences to just make sure you've got the events and ideas locked in your head and you know exactly what you meant in your plan.

Pause the video and try and say 'em out loud.

Well done.

Good job.

So maybe for this one I could say, "The rapier glinted brightly in the sun." And for this one I could say, "They were both drenched in sweat and they were panting heavily." So I've kept it simple.

I've just helped myself refresh my memory by knowing exactly what I meant when I wrote that plan.

And I've now managed to say it in simple sentences.

So I want to connect these ideas together using a range of cohesive devices like different sentence types.

For instance, an adverbial complex sentence like this: Mercutio swaggered forward as Tybalt smirked arrogantly.

Or maybe I'll use a relative complex sentence with a relative clause.

Mercutio, who knew nothing about Romeo's marriage, swaggered confidently towards Tybalt.

Maybe I'll use a non-finite -ing complex sentence like this: Mercutio raised his shimmering rapier, watching it glint in the midday sun.

Or maybe a compound sentence.

Mercutio raised his shimmering rapier, and he watched it glint in the midday sun.

And we'll also want to use lots of fronted adverbials of time as cohesive devices that really help to move the events of our story forward.

So we could use soon.

Soon, both men were drenched in sweat.

For a moment, Romeo was frozen on the spot.

Just then, he fell to his knees.

Suddenly, they were duelling.

So we want the atmosphere of our writing to be tense and pacy, and using fronted adverbials of time like this helps us to increase the pace of our writing.

So let's see if we can sprinkle them throughout to move the action forward.

Here's an example narrative paragraph in the style that we're choosing to write in today.

And this would be the events that come before the section we're writing.

Which cohesive devices can you spot in this example? Pause the video and have a look.

Well done.

Great job.

So we've got, for instance, a non-finite -ing complex sentence here.

Sneering with disgust is a non-finite -ing clause.

Then we've got our compound sentence using and.

Here we've got an adverbial complex sentence using as.

And we've got here fronted adverbial of time, instantly.

And finally here, we've got a relative complex sentence with the relative clause, who was astonished by Romeo's behaviour.

So we've used lots of different cohesive devices to connect our ideas together, and we can use cohesive devices to connect ideas in different ways.

Here's a note from Jun's plan.

Romeo rushed towards Mercutio and pushed his rapier aside.

So how can we connect that in different ways using different cohesive devices? I could do this as adverbial complex sentence.

It says, as Romeo rushed towards Mercutio, he pushed his rapier aside.

Or I could use a non-finite -ing complex sentence, rushing towards Mercutio, Romeo pushed his rapier aside.

Here I've used the fronted adverbial of time, and I've moved the non-finite -ing clause to the end of the sentence.

Suddenly, Romeo rush towards Mercutio, pushing his rapier aside.

And here I've used a compound sentence, Romeo rushed towards Mercutio, and he pushed his friend's rapier aside.

None of those is better than any of the others.

We have to choose which one we think is most appropriate and which maintains best atmosphere we're aiming for and which you feel is the best one for you.

So how could you connect these ideas using different cohesive devices? I've got drenched in sweat and panting.

How could you do that in different ways like I showed you on the previous slide? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Good ideas.

So you could do this.

I've used a fronted adverbial of time and a compound sentence.

Soon, both men were drenched in sweat, and they were panting in the heat of Verona's midday sun.

Here I've done it with a fronted adverbial of time and a relative clause.

Before long, both men, who were drenched in sweat, were panting heavily in the midday sun.

Now notice how it is possible to use more than one cohesive device in the same sentence.

For instance, with compound sentence and with fronted adverbial of time.

But do be careful that you don't lose the meaning of the sentence when you do that.

So look again now at your plan for that first section.

I'd like you to have a go now, and orally rehearsing how you could connect your ideas together with different cohesive devices.

So try and say aloud some of the sentences you'd like to write, connecting ideas from your plan together, using some of the different cohesive devices that we've tried.

Pause the video and have a go.

Well done.

Great job.

You could take these notes, couldn't you? Mercutio lunged towards Tybalt.

Tybalt parried and then made a riposte to Mercutio's chest.

And I could connect them using a compound sentence.

And then in the next sentence, I've used fronted adverbials of time.

Here's what I've done.

Mercutio lunged aggressively towards Tybalt, but the older man parried the blow.

Instantly, he made a riposte towards Mercutio's chest.

So I've got two separate sentences, but I've connected them using those cohesive devices and within that first sentence, I've connected two ideas into a compound sentence.

So this is an example of how we can use a cohesive devices really effectively.

Finally, one more thing to remember when we write is that we need to make sure our dialogue is correctly punctuated with inverted commas.

And we can use either a speech first sentence or a speech second sentence.

Let me show you the difference.

In a speech first sentence, the direct speech comes first followed by the reporting clause where we say who speaks and how.

So here I put, "Tybalt! Mercutio! Stop this right now!" bellowed Romeo from the edge of the dusty, baking square.

We've got the direct speech and inverted commas, followed by the reporting clause where we say it's Romeo that's talking.

Notice how there are inverted commas at the beginning and the end of what is said.

And before that closing inverted comma, we always have some punctuation and we always start direct speech with a capital letter.

In a speech second sentence, the reporting clause comes first followed by the direct speech.

So I've written: Romeo, who was standing on the sidelines, wailed, "Tybalt! Mercutio! Stop this right now!" Again, we've started the direct speech with a capital letter and we would do that even if it wasn't a name, like in this case.

We've got a comma before we start the direct speech at the end of that reporting clause after wailed.

And notice we still have some punctuation before the closing inverted commas.

And you might have seen here that we can include both description and different cohesive devices in the reporting clause of our dialogue.

So in the first example on the left, I've got dusty, baking square as some description, and the example on the right, I have a relative clause inside that reporting clause saying, who was standing on the sidelines.

And if you're able to do that, that's a great way of adding even more detail to your writing.

So which of these examples shows the dialogue correctly punctuated using inverted commas? Pause the video and decide.

Great work.

Hopefully you spotted that it is C.

Can you see how here this is a speech second sentence because the reporting clause comes first is followed by the comma.

We've got a capital letter to start the direct speech and we've got punctuation before the last inverted commas.

Really well done if you spotted that.

So now we're ready to write this first paragraph.

Let's talk through the success criteria we're going to use today.

It says I've written in the third person and the past tense.

I've included the full range of narrative elements: action, description, dialogue and emotion.

I've connected ideas using cohesive devices including fronted adverbials of time, and I have punctuated dialogue correctly using inverted commas.

And of course you can tick these off as you write.

So now I'm going to show you how to write this paragraph.

Okay, so looking at my plan, I need to start with Mercutio approaching Tybalt.

So I've got the idea of him approaching Tybalt and the idea of him raising that rapier to show he's about to begin the duel.

So let's combine those together.

I'm going to use an adverbial complex sentence starting with as.

So I'm going to say, as Mercutio, I could say, walked towards, but I'm going to use that powerful word swaggered to show his confidence.

So I'm going to say, as Mercutio swaggered towards Tybalt, what did he do at the same time? Yeah, that's right.

I could say he raised and then I wanna do some description.

I've got some action there, him raising it.

But I wanna describe this rapier.

I could say he raised his glimmering, or his gleaming rapier.

But I think I'm gonna describe how sharp it is, so I'm going to use a hyphen here.

I'm going to say his sharp, hyphen, tipped rapier.

So I've made sharp-tipped there as a compound adjective.

So that helps me to show that this rapier is going to be a dangerous weapon.

Then I'm going to start the fight.

So I'm going to have Mercutio lunging towards Tybalt.

So I could say Mercutio lunged towards Tybalt, but I've already said Mercutio and Tybalt here.

So I'm wondering if I could start with he.

So I could say he lunged towards, I could say Tybalt, but I wonder if I could replace Tybalt with another noun phrase that would kinda stand in for Tybalt.

I know that Tybalt is a much older man than Mercutio.

So I could say he lunged towards the older man, and then that helps to avoid repeating Mercutio and Tybalt all over and over again.

So then I need to know what happens next.

He lunged towards the older man, but what did Tybalt manage to do? Well, I could say, yeah, he parried that blow away.

So I'm going to use but to make a compound sentence.

So now I'm going to use Tybalt, but Tybalt, mm, how can I show that he managed to, like, swat that rapier away? Yeah, I could say, but Tybalt easily, that's my adverb, Tybalt easily parried the blow.

Okay, I think that's a good start.

So now I want to show this fight scene moving quickly because when people are fighting or duelling, it's very fast paced, isn't it? So I'm going to show that Tybalt makes a riposte.

Remember that's like that little fight back counter attack.

So I'm going to start with a fronted adverbial.

I'm going to say, quickly, Tybalt made a riposte, and I could say, oh, that's a spelling we think, riposte.

I could say where that's going.

I could say towards, hmm, yeah, whereabouts on the body could it be? Yeah, I could say towards Mercutio's throat maybe.

Okay, let's just check that back with the previous sentence.

He lunged towards the older man, but Tybalt easily parried the blow.

Quickly, Tybalt made a riposte towards Mercutio's throat.

Okay, I think because I said Tybalt here, I can actually change this one to he to avoid that repetition.

Okay, I think that works.

So now I want to show that the fight's ongoing and then we're starting to feel some emotion here where they're feeling kind of exhausted and kind of very hot as well maybe in the sun.

So I'm going to say, I'm going to use fronted adverbials of time.

I'm gonna say, before long, how did both men feel? Yeah, we could say both men, how could we share they're really tired? Hmm, yeah, you could say were soaked in sweat and how else could we kind of show, not tell, this tiredness.

Yeah, well done.

I could say, and they were panting, and then we can do some description to describe what Verona's like.

I could say they were panting in Verona's, could say hot midday sun.

I could say, oh here's a good word.

I could say stifling.

That means it's so hot you can hardly breathe.

Stifling midday heat.

That would be nice, wouldn't it? Yeah, stifling midday heat.

Okay, so I've kind of shown that feeling of exhaustion.

Now I want to do some dialogue 'cause I'm going to show Romeo interrupting and trying to stop them.

So I'm going to start a new line for my dialogue.

So what could Romeo be saying? I've opened my inverted commas here.

What might he say? Yeah, he might call their names.

So I'm gonna just have him calling to Mercutio because Mercutio is his friend, isn't he? So I'm going to have Mercutio, exclamation mark.

Now I'm going to have Romeo continuing to speak, so I'm not gonna close my inverted commas yet.

So I'm going to say, stop this.

I could say stop this now, or I could say stop this fighting.

And then why? What's Romeo's reason for this? What do we know will happen if they continue fighting? Yeah, they'd be killed by the prince, wouldn't they? So I could say the prince has forbidden it.

And that's gonna be the last thing I'm going to have Romeo saying here.

So I'm going to close my inverted commas.

Now, what's missing? Yeah, I always need some punctuation before I close my inverted commas.

So I'm going to do another exclamation mark there.

Now there's still one other thing missing, isn't there? I need my reporting clause.

Who's saying this and how are they saying it? Well, it's going to be Romeo, isn't it? And I want to show some of Romeo's feeling, his desperation.

So I'm going to have, hmm, I could say shouted.

I could say wailed or screamed.

Which one sounds most desperate? Yeah, I think wailed maybe.

So let's say Romeo wailed.

And to even add to that, I could add the adverb desperately, couldn't I? And then I want to show that these two men who are duelling do not respond at all.

So I'll give you a really short sentence.

I'm gonna say it was no use.

Okay, now I'm getting to the really dramatic parts, aren't they? So I've got where Romeo intervenes.

So just to show that's happening fast, I'm gonna use another fronted adverbials of time.

I'm going to use suddenly, that shows that action is happening fast.

And then what does Romeo do? Yeah, he rushes over to Mercutio.

So I could say, suddenly, Romeo rushed towards his friend.

So again, I'm using his friend as a noun phrase to avoid just saying Mercutio over again.

So Mercutio, sorry, Romeo rushed towards his friend.

Okay, I wonder if I could add some detail there.

Why is Romeo doing that? Yeah, he's kind of had enough, hasn't he? He's really worried this is going to get out of hand.

So I wonder if I could kind of put a relative clause after Romeo.

Romeo who, yeah, nice, who had had enough or, mm, but I think I could say that.

I could say who could, yeah, I like that.

What have we said? Who could take it no more.

Let's check if that works.

Ready? Suddenly, Romeo, who could take it no more, rushed towards his friend.

Ah, you're right, we need a comma after that relative clause.

But that works really nicely and now our reader will have a better idea why Romeo suddenly kind of snapped.

Now, right, we've got to say what Romeo does to Mercutio.

What he does is he pushed his rapier aside, isn't it? So I could just say, I'm just gonna keep this one simple and focus on the description of the rapier.

So he pushed Mercutio's, and I'm using there an apostrophe for possession, aren't I? He pushed Mercutio's, mm, how should we describe the rapier this time? Yeah, we could say gleaming rapier 'cause we've got the idea of the sun, haven't we? So we could say pushed Mercutio's gleaming rapier aside.

Okay, nice.

Now I can finish the whole section by describing Tybalt lunging forward and stabbing Mercutio.

So I want to show that happens really fast.

So I'm going to use another fronted adverbial of time.

I'm gonna say, at, could say at that moment.

I could even make it faster I think by saying at just that moment, or even at just that instant because an instant might be even shorter than a moment I think.

At just that instant, what did Tybalt do? Yeah, Tybalt lunged forward.

And then I think I'll use a non-finite -ing clause here with a verb in its -ing form.

What verb might I be looking for here? At just that instant, Tybalt lunged forward, well done, stabbing, and then I'm gonna have, Mercutio deep in the chest.

Okay, let's read that through.

As Mercutio swaggered towards Tybalt, he raised his sharp-tipped rapier.

He lunged towards the older man, but Tybalt easily parried the blow.

Quickly, he made a riposte towards Mercutio's throat.

Before long, both men were soaked in sweat and they were panting in Verona's stifling midday heat.

"Mercutio! Stop this fighting! The prince has forbidden it." Romeo wailed desperately.

It was no use.

Suddenly, Romeo, who could take it no more, rushed towards his friend.

He pushed Mercutio's gleaming rapier aside.

At just that instant, Tybalt lunged forward, stabbing Mercutio deep in the chest.

So we've definitely included the third person and past tense.

We've got a range of those narrative elements: action and description.

We've got dialogue and emotion as well where we described that exhaust in their feeling.

We've used a range of cohesive devices, definitely lots of fronted adverbials of time and we've got our dialogue punctuated correctly with the inverted commas in the correct place.

Okay, you've seen me do it, now it's your turn.

As you write, make sure you use both your success criteria and your plan and try and think or say each sentence before you write it.

Maybe trying out connecting it with different cohesive devices to see which one you prefer.

Make sure you check back the sentences that you've written to make sure they're exactly what you wanted to say.

Pause the video and have a go at writing this paragraph.

Well done.

Great job.

Here's an example of how the start of that paragraph could look.

I've written Mercutio swaggered towards Tybalt, raising his shimmering rapier.

As it glinted in the sun, he lunged towards Tybalt.

Tybalt calmly parried the blow, and he made a quick riposte towards Mercutio's chest.

Soon, both men were drenched in sweat and they were panting in the heat of Verona's midday sun.

So I've got the third person and past tense here, Mercutio swaggered.

I've got a full range of narrative elements.

For instance, shimmering rapier as some description, parried the blow as some action and panting shows me that emotional tiredness.

I've got lots of cohesive devices.

For instance, I've got my non-finite -ing complex sentence there, the compound sentence and fronted adverbial of time, but I don't have any dialogue just yet.

Here's how the rest of that paragraph could look.

I've written, "Tybalt! Mercutio! Stop this! The prince has forbidden it!" wailed Romeo from the sidelines.

Suddenly, he rushed towards Mercutio and he pushed his dazzling rapier aside.

At that moment, Tybalt lunged forward and he landed a heavy blow on Mercutio's chest.

So again, we've got the third person and past tense like in wailed Romeo.

We've got some of those narrative elements again, this time I've got some dialogue, and I've got some action and you can see heavy blow as some description.

Then I've got some more cohesive devices like another fronted adverbial of time and a compound sentence here.

And I've got my dialogue punctuated correctly this time using inverted commas around the direct speech.

So now I need you to write a second event.

So let's look at the second event in our narrative.

We are going to talk about now Mercutio being in pain and dying.

So we'll continue to write in the third person and past tense, and we'll continue to use those narrative elements, and we'll be continuing to use our cohesive devices to connect ideas together.

We're going to stop writing at Mercutio's death.

So don't write about Romeo's reaction to that today.

Now here's Jun's plan for that second event where Mercutio is in pain and dying.

Where has Jun included the different narrative elements in his plan for this section? Pause the video and take a look.

Well done.

Good job.

So we've got lots of actions.

For instance here, Tybalt seeing that he'd won and running off into the shadows.

We've got some description, for instance, that blood pouring out and covering hands.

We've got some emotion like gritting his teeth and his face contorting showed that pain, and some dialogue where he's cursing both the Montagues and Capulets there.

Really well done if you spotted those.

So again, we might want to add some descriptions.

The nouns that come up in this section of this story, and this time that might be Mercutio's wound, his blood, his eyes as he dies maybe, and even the ground that he falls on.

So for each of those nouns, what description could you give? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Great thinking.

So for Mercutio's wound, you could have his jagged, open wound or a deep, pulsing gash.

For Mercutio's blood, you could have thick, scarlet blood or crimson liquid oozing from him.

For Mercutio's eyes as he dies, you could have suddenly-empty eyes or blank, dead eyes, or dark, vacant eyes that no longer showed any part of him.

And for the ground, you could say the dust-covered ground, the blood-spattered ground, or even the searing-hot earth.

So all of those would be great ways of adding some descriptive detail to our writing.

So now let's do the same as we did before and try it and see if we can say out loud our plan as simple sentences.

So look at your plan and see if you can say each note aloud as one or more simple sentences.

So for my first note, I've said Mercutio dropped his rapier, and he grimaced in pain, and I've just shown the first few notes of mine.

But see if you can do it for your whole plan for this section.

Pause the video and have a go.

Well done.

Great job.

So I could take this note, couldn't I? And I could say Tybalt saw that he had won the duel, and he ran off into the shadows of a narrow alleyway.

And for this one I could say, "Are you hurt?" Benvolio asked frantically.

So I've taken each of these notes and I've said them as simple sentences just to refresh my brain about what I was intending to include when I wrote that plan.

Now you might have noticed as we were writing that first section that we can sometimes end up writing the word he and the character's name quite a lot.

Let me show you, we could write this: "You don't know me at all," Romeo replied, turning to walk away.

Tybalt smirked at Romeo's retreating figure.

Mercutio, who was astonished by Romeo's behaviour, turned to address him.

So you can see we've used the word Romeo quite a few times there and we finished with him as well, which is totally fine.

But I wonder if we could add a bit more variety.

In order to avoid confusion and repetition, we can use different noun phrases to refer to the characters instead of using their name or he or him.

So for instance, I could say the younger man or the older man, the injured man, the dying man.

I could say his friend, his sworn enemy or his opponent.

So in this example, I could change it like this.

I could say Tybalt smirked at the younger man's retreating figure, instead of Romeo's retreating figure.

And in the last sentence I could say, Mercutio, who was astonished by Romeo's behaviour, turned to address his old friend, instead of address him.

So I've been able to replace the character's name, and he or him with these different noun phrases in order to add a bit more variety and to avoid repetition in my writing.

So how could you replace the highlighted words with noun phrases to avoid confusion and repetition? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Good thinking.

So in the first one, I could say this: Mercutio lunged at Tybalt, but the older man easily parried his opponent's attack.

And the second one, I could say this: As Romeo gazed down at his lifelong friend's lifeless corpse, he felt his blood boil.

So can you see how the noun phrases are also a way of adding in a bit more detail about the relationship between characters as well? Really well done for your ideas there.

Now as in the first paragraph, we want to connect the ideas from our notes using cohesive devices.

So have a look back at your plan again and see if you can orally rehearse out loud how you could connect your ideas with different cohesive devices.

Pause the video and have a go.

Well done, good thinking.

So for example, I could take this note, Tybalt saw he'd won and ran off into shadows.

And I could say this: Immediately, seeing that he had won the duel, Tybalt darted off into the shadows of a dark, cobbled alleyway.

So here I've used a fronted adverbial of time and then a non-finite -ing complex sentence with seeing as my verb in its -ing form.

But there's loads of different ways we can connect these ideas.

So let's have a go now at writing this second paragraph.

Make sure you use your success criteria and your plan as you write.

And again, think or say your sentence before you write it, trying out different cohesive devices and maybe trying to get some of those additional descriptions in as well.

Make sure you check back the sentences you've written and that might be an opportunity to change some of those character names and the his and him into some of those noun phrases we've discussed.

Pause the video and have a go at writing the second paragraph.

Well done.

Fantastic job.

Here's how the start of that paragraph could look.

I've written: Dropping his rapier, Mercutio grimaced in pain.

Tybalt, who could see that the damage had been done, turned and ran.

Instantly, he scurried off into the shadows.

"Are you hurt?" cried Benvolio, rushing towards his friend.

"Ay, ay.

A scratch, a scratch!" Mercutio replied, clutching his chest.

Thick, scarlet blood was pouring from a jagged, open wound.

So again, we've got the third person and past tense, like in he scurried.

We've got some of the narrative elements, like our emotions here, scurried as an action and a jagged, open wound for some description.

We've got those cohesive devices, like a relative complex sentence here and fronted adverbials of time as instantly and rushing to make a non-finite -ing complex sentence and we've got our dialogue punctuated correctly here with inverted commas.

Here's how the rest this paragraph could look.

I've written: As Mercutio staggered across the street, he gritted his teeth.

His face was contorted in agony and his eyes bulged in their sockets.

Letting out a soft groan, the wounded man fell to the ground.

"A plague on both your houses!" he rasped, looking up at Romeo with empty eyes.

So again, here we've got that third person and past tense, like in he rasped.

We've got these narrative elements, staggered as an action, soft groan to show that emotion, we've got a plague on both your houses as a piece of dialogue, and empty eyes gives us a description.

We've got some cohesive devices, like our adverbial complex sentence using as, compound sentence using and, and looking to create that non-finite -ing complex sentence and a dialogue punctuated correctly as well.

Really well done there and including all those features of success criteria, but most of all writing really tense, dramatic piece of writing about this duel.

Good work.

Let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

When we're writing a narrative, we include a range of narrative elements: action, description, dialogue, and emotion.

We use our detailed plans to help us write, orally rehearsing how we can use cohesive devices such as fronted adverbials of time to connect our ideas together.

And we've seen that we are writing in the third person and the past tense, incorporating correctly-punctuated dialogue.

You've done a fantastic job in this lesson.

I hope you're really pleased with what you've produced so far, and I'd love to see you again in the next lesson where we can complete writing this to your scene.

Goodbye.