Lesson video

Hi, I'm Mr. Buckingham.

I'm so glad you've decided to join me for today's lesson.

We're going to be starting to write today our persuasive letters to Sherlock Holmes.

I think you're going to be producing some fantastic writing and I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Let's make a start.

Today's lesson is called writing the introduction to a persuasive letter to Sherlock Holmes, and it comes from my unit called Sherlock Holmes: descriptive and letter writing.

By the end of today's lesson, we'll be able to write the introduction to a persuasive letter, including a clear summary of the problem.

So in this lesson, we're going to be writing to Sherlock Holmes to ask him to investigate the mysterious death of Sir Charles Baskerville.

And we'll be writing in role as Sir Henry Baskerville.

If you have your summary notes from the lesson where we investigated that story, then make sure you have them with you now.

If you don't, then please don't worry.

I'll provide some here that you can use.

Let's get to work.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

My turn, your turn.

Summary, persuasive techniques, text cohesion and cohesive devices.

So a summary is an overview of a text's main points and ideas.

It tells readers the most important parts.

A persuasive technique is a structure or device used in writing to try to change someone's mind or behaviour.

Text cohesion is the way that a text flows to maintain the interest of the reader and achieve its text purpose.

And cohesive devices are language structures that develop text cohesion.

So here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by planning and preparing to write, including doing some oral rehearsal of what we want to write and then we'll move on to writing the introduction.

So we're just writing one paragraph today in this lesson.

So we're going to do writing in role as Sir Henry Baskerville to Sherlock Holmes, asking him to investigate Sir Charles' death.

So the structure of our whole letter will look like this.

We'll have an introduction where we explain what's happened.

We'll have paragraph one where we give one reason he should help, paragraph two, giving a second reason and a conclusion where we really try and persuade Holmes he must help us with this situation.

So today we're going to plan and then write just the introduction.

So we're gonna try and include the following.

We're going to give a salutation, a greeting like we always do at the start of a letter.

We'll include an introductory sentence to say why we're writing, a summary of what has happened, the facts of the events of the story, and some persuasive techniques to begin to start to persuade Sherlock Holmes that he wants to help us with our problem.

So here is an example letter written to Sherlock Holmes.

In this example introduction, can you identify the summary of the events that have happened, any persuasive techniques that have been used, and the introductory sentence? We can already see that salutation, dear Mr. Holmes, at the start.

Pause the video and see if you can spot those other parts of this example introduction.

Well done.

Good thinking.

So we can see we've got at the start here our introductory sentence.

It says, I'm aware that you're an incredibly important and busy man; however, I'm waiting to ask you for your assistance in a matter which has left me completely nonplussed.

Then we've got our summary of the events.

And in this case, it's Jean McAllister's letter, isn't it that you might have seen before telling the events of what's happened to her sister Julia.

And we've got some persuasive techniques.

We have some flattery here.

We are saying he's an incredibly important and busy man and another piece of flattery down here.

I'm certain that you and only you will be able to solve this perplexing mystery.

So here we've got a great example of a good introduction to a persuasive letter.

So we'll need to start with an introductory sentence to say why we're writing.

So here's that example from Jean McAllister's letter.

So this is an effective example for several reasons.

First of all, it says why we're writing without trying to explain the mystery.

It's not giving that summary of the mystery, is it? It's saying that we're writing because we need help with a problem that's left us confused.

That's all we're saying.

We're then going to reveal what that problem is in our summary sentences that are coming later.

It also includes a piece of flattery as a persuasive technique where we say incredibly important and busy man.

And it has two complete sentences joined by a semicolon to improve the flow, the text cohesion of our writing.

So those could be two separate sentences, but we've connected them with a semicolon.

And the second starts with a formal fronted adverbial.

It starts with however, which is a formal fronted adverbial that we can use to show contrast.

So we've improved our text cohesion using a semicolon and a fronted adverbial to show the relationship between these two ideas.

So let's do our first task for this session.

First of all, I'd like you to note down an idea for an introductory sentence on your plan.

I'd like you to include ideas for the following: a piece of flattery and then an explanation for why you're writing.

So what could we say to flatter Holmes? We know might refer to his intelligence or the fact that he's someone we know he can rely on and someone maybe who's gonna be very busy receiving lots of letters and problems from other people.

So we can talk about how he's an important man.

His time is precious, he's busy, he's dealing with serious criminals and he's very much in demand by many people in Victorian society.

So for example, your notes might look like this.

You might say, as your flattery, very important man with little time to spare.

And then your explanation for why you're writing.

I've started with however here and I've said, however, require assistance with very serious matter.

Notice that I'm not using full sentences, I'm using notes and I'd like you to do the same.

So pause the video and note down an idea for flattery, an explanation of why you're writing that we can include in our introductory sentence.

Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, fantastic work.

So here are some more examples of the notes you could have made for that introductory sentence.

Maybe you had these two notes, important gentleman and very much in demand.

However, in desperate need of assistance resolving horrific series of events.

Or you could have said this introductory sentence, busy dealing with serious criminals, that's some flattery, and however, need support with concerning situation.

So hopefully you've got two lovely clear notes for that introductory sentence now.

Now, we also know that it's very important to include a summary of what has happened so that Holmes can consider the facts of this case and decide if it's worth his time.

Now, you might have already got some summary notes from a previous lesson and they might look like this.

My uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, found dead with expression of terror on face.

No signs of injury, huge dog prints next to body.

Local people believe linked to legendary demonic Hound of Baskervilles.

These are notes, I wasn't saying complete sentences.

These are notes that show us the key events that have happened.

So we're going to have to try and make those into a very brief summary and we'll want to use a range of cohesive devices in order to show how these ideas connect to one another.

And I'd like to take a look now at the cohesive devices bank that's in the additional materials for this lesson to see what some of those cohesive devices could be.

You might start getting your own ideas of how you could connect these pieces of information.

Sp pause the video and take a look at that cohesive devices bank now.

Well done.

So fronted adverbials, you will have seen on that list, has one very useful cohesive device and we can use several different types of fronted adverbial in our writing.

First of all, we can use fronted adverbials of time to say when things happened.

We could say, last week, my uncle was found dead outside his home.

We've got last week as our fronted adverbial of time, followed by a comma.

We could use formal fronted adverbials and they can help us to show and, adding on something, like in addition or to show but, a contrast, like however.

So we could say his body bore, had, no signs of injury.

Full stop.

However, the prints of an immense hound were found all around the body.

I've shown a contrast.

There were no signs of injury, but there's this suspicious fact of the prints being around the body.

There's a contrast there.

And a semicolon can help us here too.

We can use a semicolon to improve cohesion by joining two complete sentences, which could themselves start with fronted adverbials.

For instance, last week, my uncle was found dead outside his home; on his face there was an expression of pure terror.

On his face, there is a fronted adverbial of place.

It's saying where something happened.

But notice how we've got a fronted adverbial at the start of the first part of the sentence, which could be a complete sentence, then a semicolon.

And then what could be another complete sentence starting with its own fronted adverbial.

So we've improved our text cohesion using fronted adverbials and a semicolon.

So can you match these groups of words to show how we can improve test cohesion using fronted adverbial and semicolons? See which one matches up best with each other part of the sentence, or in one case, an additional sentence that comes after a full stop.

Pause the video and see how you'd match them up.

Well done.

Good work.

So for A, we'd say, Last week, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead.

His face was a picture of total horror and shock.

I've used a semicolon to connect two complete sentences.

For B, I'd say there were no signs of injury on the body.

Despite this, vast.

For B, we'd say there were no signs of injury on the body.

Full stop.

Despite this, vast dog prints were found nearby.

So here I've kept a full stop instead of a semicolon.

So my sentences are separate, but one of them starts with a fronted adverbial, despite this.

That's a formal fronted adverbial.

So I'm showing the connection between the two sentences and that improves text cohesion as well.

So for C, we would say local people believe this to be the work of the legendary Hound of the Baskervilles.

However, I am not so sure.

So you've got another formal fronted adverbial after a semicolon there.

Great work for matching those up.

So as well as fronted adverbial and semicolons, different sentence types can help us to improve text cohesion as well.

Let's look at three different ways of combining the same ideas.

We've got no signs of injury, huge dog prints next to your body.

So we can do that with three different sentence types.

We've got adverbial complex sentence, a relative complex sentence, and a compound sentence.

So for an adverbial complex sentence, it's going to have an adverbial clause starting with a subordinated conjunction.

In this case, although.

So I've written although there were no visible signs of injury on his body, a series of huge dog prints were found next to the body.

I've combined those two ideas together in one sentence.

I could do the same with a relative complex sentence.

I could say his body, which bore no signs of injury, was surrounded by a number of enormous dog prints.

So there I've got a relative clause, which bore no signs of injury, starting with a relative pronoun, which.

And a compound sentence might look like this.

No signs of injury were found, but a series of large prints were seen.

So here we've got but as a coordinating conjunction, joining two main clauses together to make a compound sentence.

So all of these sentence types improve text cohesion because they combine ideas together into the same sentence.

So let's practise that.

How can we combine these two pieces of information to create a relative complex sentence to improve cohesion? And remember, that will contain a relative clause starting with a relative pronoun, like which or who or whose.

So we've got these two pieces of information.

Local people believe the Hound of the Baskervilles is to blame, and the hound is a legendary demonic creature.

So pause the video and see if you can combine those together into a relative complex sentence.

Have a go.

Well done.

Great effort.

So maybe you came up with something like this.

Local people believe the Hound of the Baskervilles, which is a legendary demonic creature, is to blame for my uncle's murder.

I've got that relative clause starting with which.

I could also remove that relative pronoun which and it would look like this.

Local people believe the Hound of the Baskervilles, a legendary demonic creature, is to blame for my uncle's murder.

Now, that's no longer a relative complex sentence.

Now it's just got a piece of parenthesis in the middle.

So we've removed the relative pronoun and made a piece of parenthesis and that's great too.

It improves text cohesion and it's a way of combining information together.

Really well done.

So let's do the second part of our task.

We're going to make notes on our plan for the summary section of our introduction.

And we're going to focus on noting down the cohesive devices we want to use.

So you could refer to the cohesive devices bank for this if you'd like.

So we've got the notes that we're starting with or that I'm starting with.

Yours might look slightly different.

And I'd like you to try and make some notes of your cohesive devices you want to use.

So for instance, you might do this.

Last week, as my fronted adverbial, my uncle, and then I know that he died.

I know that he was found dead.

So I'm not going to write that bit here.

I'm gonna focus on what I'm including.

So I've put in a semicolon there in my plan and then I've written on his face, expression.

So I've planned another fronted adverbial, on his face, there.

And then for the next point, I've just written no signs but prints.

So I know I'm going to be connecting those those pieces of information together using the coordinating conjunction but to make a compound sentence.

Again, I'm focusing on the cohesive device and not on the information because that's locked in my brain already from when I wrote this summary before.

And then for the last piece of information, I'm using although.

I've said although locals believe killed by hound, demonic creature, I'm not so sure.

So there I've put demonic creature in commas.

So I'm going to have that as a relative clause.

So I know that that's going to be inserted into the middle of my sentence.

However it helps you to write these notes is the best way to do it.

So write the notes you think will help you to understand when you come to write, what did you want to include.

So focus on the cohesive devices here and not on the information.

We want to focus on getting these pieces of information connected in different ways.

So pause the video here and see if you can write those notes to plan your cohesive devices for this section.

Have a go.

Well done, great work.

So here's another example of the notes you might have made in your plan.

Maybe you said several days ago, my uncle, and then when he died, 'cause you're referring there to his expression.

So there we've got a semicolon, we've got a fronted adverbial, and when he died would be a complex sentence as well.

And then I've got, although for my second point, although no signs, huge prints.

So although there were no signs of injury, we know there were the prints.

And then I've planned my relative clause here again.

I've said locals believe Hound, which is legendary, responsible semi; however, I'm unsure.

So just so you understand what I was getting at here, here's how that might end up looking.

I've written several days ago, my uncle was found dead outside his home; when he died, his expression was one of pure terror.

Although no signs of injury were found, his body was surrounded by huge dog prints.

Locals believe the Hound of the Baskervilles, which is a legendary creature, was responsible; however, I remain unsure.

So I've used all those cohesive devices I planned to in my piece of writing here, which is what you're going to try and do as well.

Really well done for making such an effort with that plan.

It'll help you so much when you come to write.

So finally, we're going to want to finish with a flattering final sentence to show Holmes we believe he is vital to solving this mystery.

So here are some ideas.

We could say, I'm certain that you and you alone will be able to solve this perplexing mystery.

We could say I'm utterly mystified, but I'm certain that the remarkable mind of Sherlock Holmes will be able to assist me.

Mr. Holmes, I have always admired your intellectual prowess; I'm certain that you are the man to solve this mystery once and for all.

Mr. Holmes, your groundbreaking techniques will make all the difference in this case and they could save many lives.

So all of these include flattery as a way of beginning to persuade Holmes that he's the person we need to investigate this.

So use the word bank below or your own ideas to write a note for the final sentence for introduction, a flattering sentence.

And you've got some ideas for sentence ideas here, but I've just written an example note here.

Believe superior methods make difference.

I'm saying I believe that your superior methods will make all the difference in solving this crime.

So using those sentence ideas with adjectives, those nouns, pause the video and write a note for your flattery sentence to end this introduction.

Have a go.

Well done, fantastic work.

So here are some more examples of the kind of notes you could have made.

Maybe you said certain your meticulous techniques equal mystery solved.

Always admired abilities,; certain only you can solve.

Now, so you know what I meant, let me show you how these might end up when we write them.

Maybe this one would say, I'm certain your meticulous techniques will enable this mystery to be solved at last.

And maybe the second one would look like this.

I've always admired your incredible abilities; indeed, I am certain that only you can solve this conundrum.

That's a great word for a problem.

So we've now planned out a complete set of notes, ready to write our introduction.

We have our introductory sentence planned, we have our summary planned, and we have a flattery sentence to finish planned.

Great work so far.

Let's keep it up and get writing.

So now it's time to write the introduction.

You should now have a detailed plan for your introduction and it could look something like this.

Here's my detailed plan with my introductory sentence planned, my summary planned and my final sentence of flattery planned.

So we're now ready to orally rehearse our text before we write it.

And that means saying it out loud, how we'd like to write it.

Will we get it perfect? No, we probably won't.

And that's fine.

We're trying to get our brains ready to write by getting the ideas for the sentences flowing.

Then when we come to write, we'll be much better prepared.

So I'd like you to try and say your notes aloud as complete sentences using the cohesive devices that you've planned to include, particularly in that summary section.

So looking back at your own notes now, try and say them out loud as complete sentences.

Pause the video, and have a go.

Well done.

Great job.

Maybe it looks something like this.

I know that you're extremely busy dealing with serious criminals; however, I am in need of your support in dealing with a very concerning situation.

Last week, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead outside his home, Baskerville Hall.

On his face, he had an expression of total horror.

There were no signs of injury on his body, but it was surrounded by the prints of a vast dog.

Although the locals believe Sir Charles was killed by the Hound of the Baskervilles, a legendary demonic creature, I am not so sure.

Mr. Holmes, I believe your superior methods of investigation could make all the difference in solving this mystery and I beg you to help me.

So can you see how I've included the cohesive devices that I planned in my oral rehearsal here? Now, you might not have got it perfect yet, and that's fine.

That's why when we write, we can again take a chance to think the sentence through before we write it and read it back when we've written it to make sure we've done what we plan to do.

So here's the success criteria I'm going to use to write today.

First of all, I have written an introductory sentence that explains why I'm writing to Sherlock Holmes and includes flattery.

I have written a summary of the mystery using a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas.

I have written a final sentence that uses flattery as a persuasive technique.

And I have used a semicolon to connect two complete sentences.

So we've got four things to aim for in our writing, and of course, we can tick off that success criteria as we write.

So now I'm going to show you how I would write this paragraph.

Okay, we've got our success criteria up here, and I've got our notes for this paragraph or my notes down here.

And remember, I've included my cohesive devices I want to use here as well.

Now, I've already started my first introductory sentence and I've got my salutation, my greeting, dear Mr. Holmes, followed by a comma, and then I've indented this first sentence because it's the first one of our paragraph.

So I've started off with my first note here.

I know you're very busy dealing with serious crime in London, so I'm flattering him a little bit there, aren't I to say, oh, you're a very important person.

And then I've got this, however, need support with concerning situation.

So I think I could use a cohesive device here, couldn't I? I could use a semicolon to connect on another complete sentence.

So I'm going to say semicolon, however.

So I'm going to say semicolon, however, and then I can just use my note here.

I need support.

I think, I'm addressing him directly, so I'm gonna say I need your support.

I think it's a bit more personal that way.

That's going to be more persuasive.

So I need your support with a concerning situation.

Or could I be a bit more dramatic? I could say an extremely concerning situation, couldn't I? Or yeah, a very concerning situation will be fine too.

An extremely concerning situation.

So I'm already kind of showing Sherlock Holmes that this is a serious matter.

Situation.

It's the ti grapheme sh, isn't it? Okay, right, let's check that back.

I know you are a, oh, I know.

Yeah, that's right, I know you are very busy dealing with serious crime in London.

Oh dear.

After my semicolon, what do I need? Yeah, it's a small letter, isn't it? Let's cross out that capital H and we'll just make it a small letter above.

However, I need your support with an extremely concerning situation.

I'm happy with that, but I wonder if I could be more formal than know.

What might work instead? Yeah, I love that.

Well done.

You could say I am aware.

So I'm gonna cross out know and then above it, I will put I am aware just to be a little bit more formal.

We're speaking to someone we really respect.

So that works well.

Okay, so as I said, we've used a little bit of flattery there, haven't we? And we've also used a semicolon to connect two complete sentences.

So I think that works really well.

And I can tick off my first criteria, which is an introductory sentence that explains why I'm writing to him and includes flattery.

I've said why.

It's because I need your support with an extremely concerning situation.

So what I'm going to do next is to write my summary of the mystery using a range of cohesive devices.

And we've got our notes for our summary here.

I've already planned out some cohesive devices.

I've planned a fronted adverbial here, last week, a semicolon, I've got a compound sentence using but here and although to make a complex sentence here.

So let's think about this first bit.

Last week, my uncle.

What happened to him last week? Yeah, he was found dead.

So let's do that with a fronted adverbial to start.

So I'm just going to say last week.

What comes after fronted adverbial? Yeah, a comma.

Last week, my uncle.

What happened to him? Yeah, he was found dead.

And where was he found? That's right, outside his home or my home? It was his home at the time, wasn't it? Was found dead outside his home.

Okay.

Now, I get to lock that in with a full stop.

Now, I'm wondering, Sherlock Holmes isn't going to know who my uncle is, is he? So I wonder if I could add in a little piece of parenthesis for my uncle's name.

Where would it go? Tell me when to stop.

Last week, my uncle.

Yeah, well done, after uncle.

So I'm going to put an arrow here and I'm gonna put commas around his name, Sir Charles Baskerville.

And now, well, perhaps Sherlock Holmes has even heard of him.

He is a sir after all.

So he might be a very famous person.

So now let's check it.

Last week, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead outside his home.

Okay, that's nice.

Now I put a full stop, but actually, I was planning to use a semicolon.

So I'm going to convert my full stop into a semicolon.

And remember, on either side of the semicolon, we need a complete sentence.

So I've got at the minute, on his face, expression.

What was that an expression of? I'm using a fronted adverbial again, on his face.

What was the expression of? Yeah, that's a good idea.

I could say pure fear.

Any other ideas? There was an expression of.

Yeah, pure terror.

I like that.

So let's have a think.

Pure fear.

Pure terror, pure horror.

What should we go for? Oh yeah, I like that, all-consuming horror.

That's really good.

An expression of all-consuming.

Now, I'm going to use a hyphen between those two words.

All -consuming horror.

Yeah, I like that a lot.

Okay, let's check that whole sentence now because we need a complete sentence either side of the semicolon.

Last week, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead outside his home.

On his face, there was an expression of all-consuming horror.

Really good.

Okay, now we've got this sentence where I've planned a compound sentence with but, so I could say there were no signs of injury on his body, but what was it surrounded by? That's right, the prints of a dog.

Well done.

So I'm going to just say there was no signs of injury on his body, but it was surrounded by, surrounded, surrounded by the prints of a large dog.

Well, could we do better than a large dog? What might be a better, more dramatic way of describing it that's going to be more persuasive for Sherlock Holmes? Yeah, that's do hound.

Yeah, large hound, vast hound, immense hound.

Ah, if it's immense, that begins with a vowel.

I'm going to need to use an immense, aren't I? So an immense hound.

Okay, I'm not capitalising hound there because I'm not referring to a particular hound yet.

Let's just check that.

There was no signs.

Oh, there was.

Signs is plural, so it shouldn't be was, it should be? Yeah, well done, were.

So I'm going to say there were no signs of injury on his body.

Oh, I've used but in a compound sentence.

So I've got put a comma before it, but it was surrounded by the prints of an immense hound.

Okay, that's next.

Now, we've got now our contrast.

Although the locals believe it was killed by, sorry, Sir Charles was killed by the Hound, and now that's a capital H because we're talking about the Hound of the Baskervilles, which is a demonic creature.

I'm not so sure.

Okay, well, I've planned that really well.

That should be easy to write, shouldn't it? So I'm going to start with although over here.

Oh, tricky one to spell.

Although, yeah, I'm gonna need an L.

Oh, I think gonna cross that one out and try again on the next line.

Let's try that one again.

I've got a capital A, then the L-T-H-O-U-G-H.

Although, got it.

The locals say.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah.

We can do better than say, can't we? What should we say instead? Yeah, believe would be better.

I agree.

So although the locals believe he was killed by what? Well done, by the Hound of the Baskervilles.

And now this is gonna have capitals 'cause we're talking about a specific legendary hound.

And Baskervilles will have a capital too.

Oh, and we said it's a demonic creature, didn't we? So I'm gonna say a demonic creature, and then I'm going to say I am not so sure.

Okay, that should be the last bit of our summary.

Let's check it back.

Although the locals believe he was killed by the Hound of the Baskervilles, a demonic creature, I'm not so sure.

Well, a demonic creature's almost a piece of parenthesis, isn't it? We're kind of adding it in after the Hound of the Baskervilles.

So it needs to have a comma on either side, not just at the end 'cause then it shows we could remove it from the sentence.

Okay, I think we can tick off that second success criteria now.

We've written a summary of the mystery and we've used a range of cohesive devices.

So now we're going to finish with a little bit more flattery in our final sentence.

I've got my note here believe superior methods make a difference.

So I could say I strongly believe.

Now, would it be just superior methods? No, you're right.

I can say your superior methods.

We're trying to flatter him.

So we need to make sure he understands we're talking about you, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

So I strongly believe your superior methods will do what? Yeah, it could be will actually, couldn't it? Or we say could.

I strongly believe your superior methods could or will? Yeah, you're right, if we use will, then we're kind of doing a bit of presumption as well, aren't we? We're assuming he's going to help us.

So I quite like that.

I strongly believe your superior methods will make all the difference to what? Yeah.

Or in what we'd probably say, wouldn't we? In solving this.

Oh, we wanna make it sound attractive to Sherlock Holmes.

So we could say solving this mystery, solving this puzzle.

Yeah.

Oh, that's a good idea.

We could say in solving this mysterious puzzle.

We could make it sound really exciting.

And that's going to make him want to get involved, I think, isn't it? Okay.

Great, let's read this through to check we've met our success criteria.

Dear Mr. Holmes, I'm aware you're very busy dealing with serious crime in London.

However, I need your support with an extremely concerning situation.

Last week, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead outside his home.

On his face, there was an expression of all-consuming horror.

There were no signs of injury on his body, but it was surrounded by the prints of an immense hound.

Although the locals believe he was killed by the Hound of the Baskervilles, a demonic creature, I am not so sure.

I strongly believe your superior methods will make all the difference in solving this mysterious puzzle.

Okay, we've definitely met our success criteria and we've given Sherlock Holmes a really good summary of the events.

We've asked him for help, and we've started to persuade him with some great persuasive techniques.

Now have a go on your own.

Now you've seen me write, it's your turn.

You're going to write the introduction, starting with that salutation, Dear Mr. Holmes, using your success criteria and your own plan.

And you can change things from your own rehearsal.

It doesn't have to be the same.

So pause the video now and have a go at writing your own introduction.

Fantastic work.

Well done.

So here's an example of the first part of the introduction.

Let's see if I've met my success criteria.

I've said, dear Mr. Holmes, I'm aware that you're an extremely busy man whose time is precious; however, I'm contacting you regarding a matter of extreme importance.

Last Tuesday, my uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, was found dead outside his home.

On his face, there was an expression of all-consuming fear.

So have I got an introductory sentence? Yes, I do.

It's here where I've said, I'm contacting you regarding a matter of extreme importance.

And it includes flattery where I've said extremely busy man.

Now I've then begun the summary, but it's not complete yet.

So I'm not gonna tick that one off just yet.

But I do have a semicolon to connect two complete sentences, and that is a way of improving my test cohesion.

So now let's look at the rest of my paragraph.

I've said, although there were no visible injuries on his body, it was surrounded by the prints of a huge hound.

The locals here believe he was killed by the legendary Hound of the Baskervilles; however, I am not so sure.

Mr. Holmes, our community is terrified and I am certain that your unmatched intellectual prowess would be able to solve this mystery once and for all.

So what success criteria have I met? Well, I've completed my summary certainly, and I've also used a range of cohesive devices, for instance, although here to create a complex sentence.

I've got a final sentence that includes flattery where I've said unmatched intellectual prowess.

And I've got another semicolon to connect two complete sentences here.

And look how after my semicolon, I've got a formal fronted adverbial as well, another cohesive device.

So I'm confident I've met my success criteria.

I'm sure you've done the same.

Really well done.

So let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

We've learned that the introduction to a persuasive letter begins with an explanation of why you're writing.

We've learned that we then give a summary of the issue that the letter will be discussing, and we also used some persuasive techniques to begin to persuade the reader to help.

We've learned that throughout the introduction, we use cohesive devices to show the connections between pieces of information.

I hope you're really pleased with the start of your persuasive letter, and I'm sure Sherlock Holmes is starting to be persuaded by us too.

Really well done, and I'd love to see you again in a future lesson.

Goodbye.