Lesson video

Hi, I'm Mr. Buckingham, and I'm so glad you've decided to join me for today's lesson.

I think we're gonna get some brilliant writing done today, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you can do.

Let's make a start.

Today's lesson is called "writing the second half of a setting description in Sherlock Holmes", and it comes from my unit called, "Sherlock Holmes: descriptive and letter writing." By the end of today's lesson, we'll be able to write the second half of a setting description in Sherlock Holmes.

Now hopefully you have a plan for a setting description from our previous lesson, ready to go.

But if you don't, please don't worry.

I'll be providing you with some notes in this lesson that you can use instead.

If you have your plan, let's get to work.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

My turn, your turn.

Fronted adverbial of place.

Preposition.

Complex sentence.

And semi-colon.

Well done.

So a fronted adverbial of place is a sentence starter that tells the reader where something is, or where it happens.

And a preposition is a word or words that tell the reader where a noun is.

A complex sentence is a sentence composed of a main clause and any subordinate clause.

And a semicolon is a piece of punctuation that can join two closely rated main clauses, or complete sentences together.

So here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by writing the first paragraph of the second half of our setting description, and then we'll write the second paragraph of that second half.

So this is going to take us all the way to the end of our setting description.

So in this lesson, we're going to be writing the final parts of our setting description, and we'll be describing, first of all, in our first paragraph, the street Holmes lives on and the outside of his house.

And in the second paragraph, the second half of our lesson, his study where he and Watson are awaiting a new mystery to arrive.

So remember, the main street, before we come to Holmes' lovely alleyway here, was chaotic and loud and smelly and unpleasant.

So we're going to want to show in this part of our setting description a real change of mood, to show that now we're in a calm, and then inside the study, a cosy environment.

So we're going to have to make our description very different to how we would describe the slum-like street.

So here's an example plan for these sections, and we need to convert these notes into complete sentences to write them.

So first of all, we have a plan for describing Holmes' street.

And notice how, in purple, I've got some fronted adverbials we could use to start sentences.

We said, just off the main street, there's a calm little street.

So we're saying, we've turned off that busy, bustling, slum-like street, onto a calm little alleyway, or a little street.

And on the cobbles, gentle lamp flickers.

From inside, soft light escapes.

And all through the alleyway, we hear that plaintive melody of a violin.

It's Holmes' violin that he's playing in his study.

Then we're zooming in further, into Holmes' study, and we said we could see Holmes sit down and place his violin on a table.

Watson's sitting by the fire.

We've got that clock ticking, the smell of burning wood, we've got antiques and luxurious furniture, and we've got a desk piled high with leather-bound books.

So what we have to do is take those notes and make them sentences.

For instance, I could take this first note, and I could write a sentence like this.

"Just off the main street," that's my fronted adverbial of place, "there is a calm little alleyway." So straight away, I've shown my reader we're moving in, we're zooming in, towards a smaller street, where we're seeing Holmes lives.

So, can you try now and talk through your whole plan for this whole half of our second description? Trying to say it in complete sentences, out loud.

And you can use the plan below if you need to.

But ideally, use your notes from your own work, if you've got them.

Pause the video, and try and say these as complete sentences.

Have a go.

Well done, great job.

So maybe you took one of these notes like this, "from inside soft, light escapes", and you made a sentence like this.

"From inside the house, a soft light escapes onto the street." We're going to practise some more until we get some really beautiful sentences ready to write.

Now, when we write a setting description, we may want to show connections between pieces of description.

We won't always make one note one sentence.

We might combine two notes into one sentence.

So one way of doing this is to use a complex sentence, for instance, using "as" or "while", to start an adverbial subordinate clause.

So I can take these two separate pieces of information, these two separate notes, "on the cobbles, gentle lamplight flickers", "from inside, soft light escapes", and I could combine them using "as" to make a complex sentence, like this.

"As the gentle light of a gas lamp flickers on the cobbles, a soft, glowing light escapes from inside the house." So there I've got my subordinate clause, my adverbial clause at the start of the sentence, and then a main clause afterwards.

I could do it this way as well, using "while".

"On the cobbles, gentle lamplight flickers, while a soft light is cast onto the quiet streets from inside the house." So I've combined the two notes into one sentence using a subordinate clause, using "as" or "while" as my subordinated conjunction to create a complex sentence.

So, using "as" or "while" allows us to show two things happening simultaneously, at the same time, in a complex sentence.

And that's a great way of making our writing more cohesive, making it flow together really beautifully.

So we can also use a semicolon to join together two linked sentences to make one sentence.

And this is another way of making our writing more cohesive, flow together better.

So let's take the same two notes.

I could combine them like this.

I've said, "On the cobbles, a gentle lamplight flickers;" semicolon, "from inside the house, a soft light escapes." Those could be two separate sentences, couldn't they? But instead, I've linked them with my semicolon, and they're related to each other.

Well they're both talking about the light in this alleyway.

Now, in that first one I used fronted adverbials, didn't I? But I could do it with preposition phrases like this.

"A gentle lamplight flickers on the cobbles." That's my preposition phrase.

Semicolon, "a soft like escapes from inside the house." There's my preposition phrase, "from inside the house".

Both of those are great sentences that have got good cohesion, 'cause we've joined the two ideas to what could be complete sentences with our semicolon.

So remember those rules.

On either side of the semicolon, there is what could be a complete sentence.

And the two sentences must be related in some way.

In these cases, we're talking about those two sources of light in the same place.

So there's definitely a connection between these two ideas.

So it's appropriate to join these two complete sentences using a semicolon.

So, can you try that now? Using either a semicolon, or a complex sentence, using "as" or "while", can you connect these two ideas together? We've got, "from inside, soft light escapes" and, "all through the alleyway, plaintive melody of a violin." So try and use either of the methods I've shown you to connect those two pieces of information.

Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, great effort.

So, you may have come up with these ideas.

With a semicolon, it could look like this.

"From inside the house, a soft light escapes;" semicolon, "all through the alleyway, the plaintive melody of a violin could be heard." So there, I kept the fronted adverbials in the same place, didn't I? I've just connected the two sentences with a semicolon.

And of course, after the semicolon, we don't have a capital letter, unless of course, it was a proper noun already, that already had one.

I could do it with my "as" instead.

That's a subordinating conjunction.

I could say, "As a soft light escapes from inside the house, the plaintive melody of a violin can be heard all through the alleyway." That's a complex sentence, because it contains a subordinate clause, starting with "as", as an adverbial subordinate clause, followed by the main clause.

So, hopefully you managed to combine those pieces of information together to improve your text's cohesion.

Great job.

So, we are going to start by writing about that alleyway where Holmes lives.

And we've shown in the pictures here that it looks like a calm, peaceful place to live.

So we've written some notes about some details to describe in this paragraph.

Here's an example.

You might have your own.

I've written, "just off the main street," "elegant brick house," "gas lamp flickers," "from inside, soft light," "all through the alleyway, plaintive melody of a violin." So here we're trying to show how calm this place is compared to that bustling, busy, slum-like Main Street.

And that's got to be really a core part of our description here.

The mood, the calm mood of this alleyway.

So there's several ways, of course, of making these notes into sentences, and I'm just going to show you three important ones.

We've got our note here, "just off the main street," "elegant brick house." I could say that the house is doing something using a verb.

So I could say, "Just off the main street, an elegant brick house sits in a calm little alleyway." There's my verb, "sits." I've made that note a complete sentence.

I could use "there is", "there are", "there comes", or "there appears", to show what's happening here.

I could say, "Just off the main street, there is an elegant brick house in a calm little alleyway," or I could say, "can be seen" or "can be found".

For instance, "Just off the main street, an elegant brick house can be found sitting in a calm little alleyway." That's just three ways we can use to make a note a complete sentence.

So, can you try and do that now? We've got a note here, "from inside, soft light." Can you change it into a complete sentence that could be used in a setting description? Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, good effort.

So maybe you came up with ideas like this.

"From inside, there appears a soft light that offers its welcoming glow to the street." I could say, "From one window, a soft light glows welcomingly out into the darkness." And here I could say, "In the window of the house, a soft light can be seen that shines out gently into the quiet street." There are many many different ways you could use to make that note a sentence.

Those are just three ideas.

I'm sure you came up with something brilliant, too.

Well done.

So let's do some oral rehearsal of this paragraph, where we say out loud the sentences we want to use.

So you've got some notes here.

Use your own, if you've got them.

Can you say your sentences for this section out loud, using rich vocabulary, fronted adverbials, and preposition phrases.

And, if you like, complex sentences and semicolons as well.

So pause the video and have a go at rehearsing these sentences out loud as you'd like to write them.

Have a go.

Well done, great effort.

So maybe you said something like this.

"Just off the main street, an elegant brick house can be found on a quiet little alleyway.

Next to the door, a gas lamp flickers, casting a honey light onto the glistening cobbles.

From one window, a soft light glows out welcomingly into the darkness, as the plaintive melody of a violin can be heard coming from inside the imposing house." Notice I've added details in that weren't in my notes as well.

For instance, the imposing house.

That's what we want to do, to push ourselves to really give a rich description here.

Really well done for your oral rehearsal there.

That's gonna help you so much when you come to write in a moment.

So we're now ready to write that first paragraph about the alleyway where Holmes' house is located.

And this is the success criteria we're going to use today.

"I have used complex sentences to connect ideas." "I have used fronted adverbials and preposition phrases to say where things are in my description." And, "I have used a semicolon to join linked sentences." So we can make sure we tick off those success criteria as we write.

Now I'm going to show you how I would write this paragraph.

Okay, we have our success criteria here, and our notes for this section.

So let's get writing.

So I've got my first note here, which says, "just off the main street, elegant brick house." So I'm trying to show here a little bit of contrast, aren't I? Between the crowded, chaotic main street, and this elegant, calm alleyway, where Sherlock Holmes lives.

So I think I'm going to start off, instead of saying, "just off the main street," I'm going to say, "just metres away from," because I want to show that it's very close by to that chaotic street, but it's a very different place.

So, "Just metres away from 'what?'" is the question.

So how can we make that main street sound chaotic? The "what" main street? Oh yeah, that's good.

From the havoc of the main street.

Hmm.

I like that.

Remember, havoc is a great word for describing chaos.

Yeah, bustle.

Good.

Well done.

I could say "from the havoc and bustle".

Yeah, that's nice.

"Of the main street." Well, what can we find there? Just metres away from the havoc and bustle of the main street.

Yeah, we've got an elegant brick house.

Okay, so we could say, "Just metres away from the havoc and bustle of the main street," Oh, that's a fronted adverbial, so I need a comma.

I could say, "an elegant brick house." Hmm.

Shall I say, "can be found?" Or what else can I say? Yeah, "it can be seen." What do you think? Yeah, I think "can be found".

"An elegant brick house can be found." And I think we need to explain to our reader that it's not on the same street, as it is on a slightly different street.

So, "Can be found," where? Yeah, I could say, "Down a," ooh, let's describe this alleyway.

We could say, "down a narrow alleyway," "a calm alleyway", "a cobbled alleyway." Yeah.

Should we do both? "A calm, cobbled alleyway?" That's nice.

So we've got two adjectives there.

So we'll need a comma between them.

So "a calm, cobbled alleyway." Oh, and I've actually used a preposition phrase there, haven't I? "Down." Oh, I've missed a word.

"Down a calm, cobbled alleyway." Okay, let's check this sentence back.

"Just metres away from the havoc and bustle of the main street," comma, "an elegant brick house can be found, down a calm, cobbled alleyway." I've kept it in present tense, which I needed.

And I've got a fronted adverbial there.

And I've got my preposition phrase as well.

So I could tick that one twice if I wanted to.

Okay, so now we've got, "gas lamp flickers." So we're trying to show this calm mood, aren't we? So it's not flickering in a scary way.

It's flickering in a gentle way.

So where is that gas lamp? Is it in the house? No, it's outside.

So I think we're gonna do a fronted adverbial.

Just with one word, I'm gonna say, "outside", and then my comma.

Hmm.

And we're just gonna keep this really simple, I think.

I'm going to say, "a gas lamp flickers." Okay.

But what happens when that gas lamp flickers, that I could make sound beautiful? 'Cause I want us to have a calm mood, don't I? Hmm.

Yeah, you're right.

It's gonna cast shadows, isn't it? Onto those cobbles.

But shadows sound quite scary, so I could make those shadows do something more cheerful.

Yeah, good.

I could say they dance, couldn't I? Oh, I think this could be a chance to use a semicolon.

Let's have a go.

So I've got a complete sentence before my semicolon, "outside the gas lamp flickers." And then I'm going to say, "shadows dance." Where? Where do those shadows dance? Yeah, well done.

I could say, "on the cobbles." Okay, now we have to check for a semicolon.

Do we have what could be a complete sentence on either side? "Outside, a gas lamp flickers." Yes, complete sentence.

"Shadows dance on the cobbles." Yes, it's a complete sentence! So that works.

Oh, but wait! I'm just thinking, I wonder if I could actually extend this sentence to say the next note as well.

I've got, "from inside, soft light," so I'm going to take my ruler, actually.

I'm gonna get rid of that full stop, because I think I can do a complex sentence here, using "as".

So let's have a think together.

"Shadows dance on the cobbles, as".

Ah yeah.

"As", we could say, "a 'something' light".

Hmm.

Yeah, we've got soft light here.

So let's say, "as a soft," do you think we should say a soft, bright light? A soft, golden light? What would be best? Yeah, I think golden sets the mood best, doesn't it? "As a soft, golden light." Hmm.

Now we need a verb, don't we? What does it do? Yeah! Oh, that's nice.

I could say, "a soft, golden light floats onto the street." From where? Yeah, we've got our preposition phrase now.

It was going to be a fronted adverbial.

We've converted it into a preposition phrase, and "onto the street from inside the house." Okay.

So we've managed to flip a fronted adverbial into a preposition phrase.

And let's read that sentence back now.

"Outside," comma, "a gas lamp flickers;" semicolon, "shadows dance on the cobbles as a soft, golden light floods onto the street from inside the house." So I've met lots of success criteria there, haven't I? I've got my semicolon.

I've also used a complex sentence with "as", and I've got a preposition phrase as well.

Okay, we've just got one more note to try now, which is, "all through the alleyway, plaintive melody of a violin." Hmm.

I think I might flip this one around as well.

It could be a fronted adverbial, but I think I'm going to start with the violin.

So I'm going to say, "the plaintive melody." Oh, you're right.

We could do two adjectives again.

What about, hmm? Beautiful? Sweet? Delightful? Yeah, I think "sweet" works well with "plaintive" too.

So we could say, "the sweet, plaintive," What is a melody? Yeah, it's just a tune, isn't it? So "the sweet, plaintive melody of a violin." And then let me look back at my note.

Yeah, I've got "all through the alleyway." So I could just say, "was heard," couldn't I? "The sweet, plaintive melody of a violin was heard," and then my note said, "all through the alleyway." Okay, should we read that one back? Check we've not made any mistakes.

We've got, "the sweet, plaintive melody of a violin was heard all through the alleyway." Oh wait, hmm.

"Was heard" is past tense.

We're writing in the present tense.

So that's not going to work, is it? So instead, what could we write? "Is heard," yeah.

Or I could write, "can be heard." That keeps it slightly more formal.

Let's check.

"The sweet, plaintive melody of a violin can be heard all through the alleyway." Okay, I'm really happy with that.

So let's read the whole thing through and check we've met our success criteria.

"Just metres away from the havoc and bustle of the main street, an elegant brick house can be found down a calm, cobbled alleyway.

Outside, a gas lamp flickers; shadows dance on the cobbles as a soft, golden light floods onto the street from inside the house.

The sweet, plaintive melody of a violin can be heard all through the alleyway." And "all through the alleyway" is a preposition phrase there, isn't it? So, I've met all three success criteria.

I hope that you can use this as an inspiration for your own paragraph.

Okay, you've seen me write the paragraph, now it's your turn.

Make sure you use your success criteria and your plan, or if you need to, my notes from the previous slides.

And once you finish, make sure you read back your writing to check it makes sense, and for any punctuation errors.

Pause the video, and have a go at writing this paragraph.

Well done.

Fantastic job.

Good work.

So here's an example of how this section could look.

I've written, "Just metres away from the havoc of the main street, an imposing brick built house sits in a narrow alleyway.

A gas lamp flickers gently as shadows dance on the cobbles.

From inside, there comes a warm glow of light; a plaintive melody seeps out into the quiet alley." So have I used complex sentences to connect ideas? Yes I have.

I've got "as" here, starting an adverbial clause.

I've got lots of fronted adverbials and preposition phrases.

I've got, "just metres away from the havoc of the main street", I've got "from inside." I've got "into the quiet alley", and more as well.

And yes, I've got a semicolon here.

It connects what could be two complete sentences, but I've linked them together with that semicolon.

Really well done for managing to meet all the success criteria in your writing.

Great job.

So now we're ready to write the second paragraph.

This is the final part of our setting description.

So we're going to think about this section where we zoom in to Holmes' study, and we came up with some example notes we might use.

We said, "Holmes sits down and places the violin on the table." We've got, "the blazing fire with Watson sipping his drink." "The clock on the wall ticking," "the scent of burning wood from the fire." We've got "antiques and furniture," and "a heavy desk piled high with thick leather-bound books." You will have your own notes as well.

Make sure you use those if you've got them.

So as we've seen, we can use a semicolon to connect two complete sentences.

So we could use a semicolon in this section to show what Holmes and Watson are doing that is different from each other.

So if Holmes is sitting down and placing his violin on a table, and Watson's sipping his drink, we could write a sentence like this, using a semicolon.

We could say, "Holmes sits down with a sigh and places his priceless violin gently onto an ornate table;" semicolon, "next to the blazing fire, Watson takes a sip of his drink." Both of those could be complete sentences, but we've connected them together using our semicolon.

We could also join those ideas using "as" and "while", like we did before.

We could say, we've got the clock on the wall ticking gently, and the scent of burning wood.

We could say, "the antique clock ticks quietly on the wall, while the warming scent of burning wood fills the room." I could have used "as" in that position as well.

But those two things are happening at the same time, so it's okay to connect them, using "as" or "while" into a complex sentence.

So can you try and do that now? I've got two notes here.

"All around the room, antiques and luxurious furniture." And, "on heavy wooden desk, pile of thick, leather-bound books." So could you use either a semicolon, or a complex sentence, to connect those ideas together? Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, great effort.

Maybe you came up with some ideas like this.

You could have said, "All around the room, precious antiques and furniture can be seen while on the heavy wooden desk, a pile of thick, leather-bound books sits, awaiting Holmes' examination." And maybe you could do it with a semicolon.

"Priceless antiques and ornate wooden furniture fill the room;" semicolon, "a pile of thick, leather-bound books sits on the heavy wooden desk." So both of those are great ways of improving the cohesion, the flow of our text, by connecting ideas together.

Really well done for having a go at that.

So, it's now our turn to orally rehearse this section.

So I'd like you to have a go at saying your sentences out loud for this section, trying to include some of the language features we've practised.

Pause the video and see if you can say the sentences you'd like to write.

Well done.

That's gonna be so helpful to you when you come to write.

Maybe you said something like this.

"Inside, Holmes sits down with a sigh and places his ornate violin on the mahogany table;" semicolon, "by the fire, Watson takes a sip from the amber liquid in his glass.

As an antique clock ticks gently on the far wall, the rich, woody scent of crackling logs filled the room.

The room is crammed full of luxurious furniture.

On a heavy wooden desk, a pile of thick leather-bound books sits, waiting for Holmes' attention." So hopefully you managed to come up with some detailed ideas for sentences, but now, when you come to write, you can really try and improve them further.

So it's your turn to write the section about Holmes' study.

I'd like you to use your success criteria and your plan if you've got it, or if you don't have a plan, you can use my notes in the previous slide.

And remember, check your writing once you've finished.

Pause the video, and have a go at writing that section.

Well done.

Fantastic effort.

So here's an example of how this section could look.

I've written, "As Watson settles in a plump armchair next to the fire, Holmes takes the seat next to him, placing his violin on an ornate wooden table.

On the wall, an antique clock ticks gently;" semicolon, "in the air, the scent of burning wood hangs like perfume.

In every corner of the room, luxurious antique furniture can be seen while a wooden desk is almost hidden under a mountain of heavy, leather-bound books." So, have I used complex sentences? Yes, I've got "as" here, for instance.

And I've got "placing" here as a non-finite -ing clause.

I've also got "while" here as well.

I've got lots of fronted adverbials and preposition phrases.

For instance, "on the wall." Here's "in every corner of the room." And I've also got a semicolon to join my ideas here.

We've got two complete sentences joined with a semicolon.

Really well done for managing to do the same.

So, now let's do our final little bit of work for this lesson.

We're going to finish our second description with a rhetorical question that suggests that a new case is about to arrive, or is about to be opened by Holmes and Watson.

So for instance, we could say this.

"In his plump armchair by the fire, Watson watches and waits:" colon, "why has Holmes summoned him here so urgently?" So I've got some description there, a colon, and then a rhetorical question.

I could do this.

"Holmes has only one thought on his mind:" colon, "when will the next exciting case arrive?" Notice how we've got a colon to separate the first complete sentence from the question that follows it.

So I'd like you to now try and write your own sentence to finish the setting description using a rhetorical question like these.

Pause the video, and have a go.

Well done, fantastic effort.

Here are some more examples of the types of rhetorical question you might have used.

You could have said, "Holmes sighs:" colon, "when will something happen to break the monotony of the evening?" Monotony means boredom.

You could say, "Watson looks at Holmes expectantly:" colon, "is he about to reveal why he's been summoned?" Summoned to the house, called to the house.

And the last one I've said, "Watson wonders why he's been called to Baker Street:" colon, "does Holmes have a new case for them to take on?" Notice how I've kept those in the present tense, which can be quite hard to do, but I've managed to keep all of that in the present tense, because that's what we've done throughout our setting description.

Really well done if you've managed our rhetorical question there, and make sure, of course, that you've got what could be a complete sentence on either side of that colon.

So a complete sentence before, and then a complete question sentence afterwards.

Really good job.

Let's summarise our learning for this lesson.

We've learned that we can write a setting description in the third person and the present tense, using rich vocabulary that covers a range of senses and sets a particular mood.

We've learned we can connect ideas together using a range of types of complex sentence, and that we can join linked sentences together using semicolons.

And we've learned that we can show where items are in our description by using a range of fronted adverbials and preposition phrases.

You've done some fantastic work in this lesson.

I hope you're really pleased with your complete setting description.

You've done so well, and I can't wait to see you again, in a future lesson.

Goodbye!.