Lesson video

Hello, my name's Mrs. Riley and I'll be teaching you today.

In our lesson today, we'll be focusing on disagreeing.

Let's get started.

The outcome of today's lesson is to practise disagreeing with someone else's opinion and resolving disagreements in a respectful way.

Here are our key words for today's lesson.

Let's start by saying each one out loud.

My turn, your turn.

Are you ready? Disagree, opinion, compromise, well done.

To disagree is to have a different opinion, belief or viewpoint from someone else regarding a particular topic, issue or statement.

An opinion is a view or a belief that a person has and a compromise is a negotiation or settlement of differences where each person gives up something to reach a mutual agreement.

And we'll come up with lots of different examples of that later in the lesson.

So today we have two learning cycles.

First, we'll be focusing on how to disagree appropriately and then we'll look at resolving disagreements.

But let's start with how to disagree appropriately.

We have already talked about how important it is to advocate for ourselves by raising issues with adults.

Could you discuss when might we need to advocate for ourselves at secondary school? Pause the video and discuss this now.

Okay, well done.

I heard lots of really good examples there.

Here are some examples, we might have to advocate for ourselves if we don't understand the work at secondary school.

Maybe if we're lost, maybe if we don't know the correct routine, perhaps we might need some help with homework.

Or perhaps it might be when we are being distracted or if we're distracted in class by something or someone.

We can advocate for ourselves by being polite and respectful, saying clearly and articulately what we need and expressing gratitude.

Which person is advocating for themselves appropriately.

So the first example, Mr. Akhtar, why did you make this homework so hard? I asked everyone at home to help me, but they all said, you should be helping me do it.

I don't get it at all.

And the second example, excuse me Mr. Akhtar, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you think you could help me with my homework? I've read it lots of times but I'm still not quite sure what to do.

Could you please help? I'm happy to come back at lunch if that's better for you.

Pause the video and decide which person is advocating for themselves appropriately.

Okay, let's come back together.

So this is the correct answer.

We can see in that second example much more respect and politeness is being shown.

For example, saying, excuse me.

And then also considering the teacher by saying, could you please help? I can come back at another time that suits you.

They've really clearly said what the problem is, that they can't do the homework, and they have asked for help.

Okay, so that was just a little recap on advocating for yourself and being able to articulate yourself.

And now we're going to think a little bit more about disagreeing.

In school and in life, we might take part in discussions where people give their opinions about different issues and whenever we discuss issues, we probably won't all agree.

Do you think this is a problem if we all don't agree with each other all the time, why or why not? Pause the video and discuss this now.

Okay, let's come back together.

Well hopefully you discussed that disagreeing is not a bad thing.

It makes life much more interesting.

And actually it's really important that we disagree because if we all felt the exact same way, we might for example all want to do the same job and if everyone did the same job, the world just wouldn't work.

So it's actually really important that we are all different and part of that is having different opinions and feelings.

So if we all have the same opinion, it would be very boring.

When people disagree with our opinions, it gives us the chance to make our own arguments even better and we can also really learn a lot from people we disagree with.

So which of these are disagreements about opinions about people's beliefs or views? A, Izzy breaks Jun's console.

Is that a disagreement about an opinion? B, Alex says that he hates Spanish food while Sofia loves it.

C, Lucas says that Miss Mrs. Begum is the best teacher and Aisha says it's Mr. Jackson, and D, Jacob has black glasses and Jun has blue glasses.

Pause the video and decide which of these are disagreements about opinions.

Okay, well done.

So the correct answers are B and C.

Alex and Sofia think differently, have different opinions about Spanish food and Lucas and Aisha have different opinions about who is the best teacher.

Why can it feel upsetting when someone disagrees with our opinion? Pause the video and discuss that now.

Well done, let's come back together.

Well you might have said, I think it's because we feel like our opinion is an important part of us and they're telling us that we're wrong.

We feel like we're being attacked by them.

So we should try not to take disagreements over opinions personally.

Remember that person is disagreeing with your ideas.

They're not saying they don't like you as a person.

We need to try to see disagreements as a chance to learn.

How should Alex feel after this discussion with Sofia? Alex says, I think English is the most important subject because if we can't read and write well, life is very hard.

Sofia says, well I think PE is much more important.

Being healthy is the most important thing of all.

So Alex has shared his opinion with Sofia that he thinks English is the most important subject, but Sofia has disagreed with him.

So how do you think Alex should feel after Sofia disagrees with him? Pause the video and tell your partner.

Okay, let's come back together.

So Alex here should be trying to remember that Sofia is just disagreeing with his opinion.

She's not attacking him as a person.

He can use Sofia's opinion to inspire him to come up with more arguments for why English is so important.

But also he might learn when Sofia talks about why she thinks PE is more important, even if he still disagrees with that, he might start to understand her point of view a bit more and learn a bit more about why PE is really beneficial as well.

So when we disagree with someone, it can be a really beneficial experience.

Some opinions feel a bit more personal than others and it's harder to handle the disagreement.

For example, Andeep has a pet bird.

Sam says she doesn't think birds should be kept in cages because it's cruel.

Andeep feels offended because it feels like Sam is accusing him of being cruel to his pet.

Could you discuss what advice would you give Andeep about this? Pause the video now.

Okay, well done.

I heard some really nice advice being given there.

So you might have said it's difficult when you hear something like this, but Sam is entitled to her opinion too and it doesn't sound like she was rude about it.

Andeep doesn't need to feel hurt.

When someone expresses an opinion we disagree with, we have lots of different options to disagree respectfully.

And that's what's really important here.

It's absolutely okay to disagree with someone's opinion so long as we do it respectfully.

So let's have a look at how we can do that.

You can politely explain why you disagree with them.

For example, I see what you mean but I disagree because, or I understand what you are saying, but I think, so really important to explain why you disagree.

You're not just saying you are wrong and I'm right.

You're explaining why you disagree.

The other thing you can do, which sounds a bit funny, is you can agree to disagree.

And what that means is you can say I don't agree, but I respect your opinion.

So it's like saying we think differently, but let's just draw a line under it and move on.

It's okay that we feel differently.

Let's agree to just disagree.

So you might also say we don't have to agree on everything and that's okay.

And then you might just say what you think or you can ask them to expand on what they've said.

For example, can you tell me why you think that? So at that example we just looked at, you might say, can you explain to me why you think that having a bird in a cage is cruel? So you are asking them to give a bit more information so that you can understand their opinion a bit more.

So these are all really useful tools to help you disagree with someone in a respectful way.

So which of these might be good responses for Andeep to give to Sam about her opinion on his pet bird? A, what do you know? You've never even had a bird.

B, I know it might seem that way, but actually it's not like that at all.

Let me explain more or C, I've never thought of it like that.

Why do you think it's cruel? Which of these would be good responses for Andeep to give to Sam? Pause the video now.

Okay, well done.

So definitely we wouldn't want to respond with A, but B and C would both be polite and respectful responses.

So let's look at another example.

Aisha gives the following opinion.

I don't think schools should have rewards for year six at the end of the year because it's not fair on the other year groups.

Could you discuss how, so imagine that you disagree with Aisha.

So she thinks that it's not fair for year six to have special rewards or treats at the end of the year because it's not fair on the other year groups.

Imagine you disagree with her, but how might you do that in a respectful way.

How can you do that respectfully? Pause the video and answer that question now.

Okay, well done.

So you might say, I see what you mean, but I don't see it that way.

I think year six is a bit different because it's the last year of primary school and we've done lots of tests.

I think it makes sense to have an extra reward.

So in that example, Jun has given a reason, he's explained why he disagrees and he hasn't told her that she's silly for thinking that or been rude.

He's just said and he's understood.

He said, I can see what you mean but this is the way I see it and then he's given his opinion, so he's disagreed but he's done it respectfully.

So is it true or false? If you disagree with someone's opinion, you always have to argue back, true or false? Pause the video now.

Well done, it is false, why? Because if you find someone's opinion really upsetting, you might decide just to agree to disagree by saying, I disagree but I respect your opinion or something similar.

It's okay to just walk away.

So if someone said something that you find a bit upsetting, you don't have to have a big discussion about it if you don't want to, you can just say, let's agree to disagree, I think differently, but you have your opinion, I have mine.

And that's okay for us to think differently and then you can just leave it at that.

So task A, now let's practise disagreeing.

You are going to work in a group of four.

The first person will say their opinion on this statement.

You ready, here's the statement.

No one should be allowed more than two hours screen time a day.

That's the statement.

No one should be allowed to have more than two hour screen time a day.

You're going to go around the group, each disagreeing respectfully with the previous person's opinion, no matter what you think yourself.

So it's a bit of a funny task because you are not actually saying your own opinion what you think because we're practising disagreeing.

So the first person is going to start off by responding to that statement about having no more than two hours screen time a day.

And then the second person will disagree respectfully.

And then the third person will disagree respectfully with that person and so on.

So we're all practising disagreeing respectfully.

Use phrases we've discussed to help you like these.

I see what you mean, but I disagree because or we don't have to agree on everything and that's okay, I think.

Okay, so could you pause the video now while you complete this task and I hope you enjoy practising disagreeing politely.

Okay, let's come back together.

So here's an example of what you might have said.

So one person might have said, I hear what you are saying but I disagree.

Two hours is not a very long time.

If you watch two episodes of TV, you'd only have an hour left.

I think it's okay to relax after school with some screen time and then the next person might have disagreed by saying, well we don't have to agree on this.

I think two hours is way too much.

We should be playing and making things and being outside instead, it's not good for us to be sitting down watching things all day.

So now we're going to look at resolving disagreements.

We've discussed what to do when you disagree with someone's opinion.

Sometimes disagreements will be about your friendships instead of being about opinions.

And here are some examples you might disagree about what you and your friends do at play times or after school.

Something someone says or does might cause a disagreement.

Maybe you feel that they were rude or unkind or you might disagree about who does which piece of work in a group project.

Which of these are disagreements about friendship rather than about opinions? A, Laura feels like Sam isn't spending enough time with her.

B, Jun feels like he's doing all the work in his project with Alex.

C, Lucas thinks eating meat is wrong, Izzy says it's not.

D, Andeep feels like Sofia is always interrupting him.

Could you pause the video while you decide which of these are disagreements about friendship rather than about opinions? Okay, let's come back together.

So in all of these examples, apart from C, they are disagreements about friendships.

In C, Lucas and Izzy just have different opinions, but all of the other ones are disagreements about friendships.

So do you agree with Sam, why or why not? This is what Sam says.

I think disagreeing about something in a friendship is harder than disagreeing about opinions.

Your opinions aren't that important, but friendships are.

Do you agree with Sam, why or why not? Pause the video now.

Okay, well done.

So you might have said, it depends.

You might have very strong opinions on something really personal to you.

But yes, sometimes a disagreement about your friendship can feel much more personal, which is hard.

When we have friendship disagreements, we can try to resolve them or we can end the friendship.

So discuss why is trying to resolve friendship disagreements a good idea? Pause the video now.

Well done, you might have said friendships are not that easy to make, when you have a good friend you want to hang onto them.

Of course, sometimes a friend will do something really bad, which ends the friendship, but usually we can work through things together.

So it's very normal for friends to sometimes argue or have disagreements.

But it's really nice if you can work through that and resolve any issues that you have, rather than just ending your friendship, which is a bit of a shame.

So resolving disagreements is easier when we think carefully about which words to use.

If we are in a disagreement with a friend, we may be able to come to a compromise and that was one of our keywords, to end the problem.

Here's an example.

Izzy and Sam are friends starting at different secondary schools.

Izzy makes some new friends at her school and she's spending a lot of time with them in the evenings.

Sam feels left out.

Sam explains to Izzy why she's upset and they agree that they'll always spend Sunday afternoons together.

Here a compromise has been reached that might not be perfect, but which makes sure their friendship can continue.

Which of the following is true of a compromise? A, in a compromise, both people get everything they want.

B, in a compromise, neither person gets what they want or C in a compromise, both people gets something they want.

Pause the video.

Well done, the correct answer is C.

In a compromise, both people get something they want.

So in the example we looked at before, Izzy still gets to spend time with her new friends, but Sam knows that they will always have Sunday afternoons together.

So a compromise has been reached.

In order to reach a compromise, you have to talk.

If you have a disagreement with a friend, you might need to start by taking some time apart, then you might need to explain what you are feeling and why.

For example, I'm a bit upset that you're not spending so much time with me anymore.

It might be appropriate to show you understand their point of view.

I know you have some new friends and that's totally fine.

And then you could suggest a compromise.

Maybe we could meet on Sundays each week.

So some different stages here to try to reach if you have a disagreement.

So you might want to start off by taking some time apart just to kind of reflect and calm down a little bit.

Then you can explain how you are feeling, then you can show you understand their point of view and then you might suggest a compromise.

So let's have a look at another example.

It's a beautiful summer day.

Aisha wants to go shopping, but Laura wants to go to the park.

What could Laura say to try to reach a compromise here? Pause the video now.

Okay, let's come back together.

So here's an example of what you might have said, what Laura could say to try and reach a compromise.

I'm really looking forward to Saturday.

I know you really want to go shopping, but it's so sunny today and I know lots of other people are going to the park.

Do you think we could go to the park this Saturday and then go shopping next week? Okay, so in that example, Laura has tried to reach a compromise by explaining why she wants to go to the park and saying maybe we could just do the shopping next week.

Sometimes a compromise is the right thing to do.

If you are in a situation where a person is just doing the wrong thing though, you might need to explain that what they're doing is wrong.

So for example, if Jun feels like he's doing all the work in his project with Alex and they're supposed to be making a presentation together, a compromise isn't appropriate here because Alex is just not doing the right thing, he's not helping Jun at all.

So Jun needs to explain calmly and politely how he feels and what he wants Alex to do differently.

I'd like you to take the same situation.

So Jun feels like he's doing all the work, but he and Alex is supposed to be making a presentation together.

What could he say to try and resolve the disagreement? Could you pause the video and discuss this with your partner now? Okay, well done.

Here's what you might have said, Alex, I'm not really happy with how this project is going.

I feel like I'm doing a lot of the work and I don't think you are doing a fair share.

I've done the first three slides in the presentation.

Can you make sure the next two are done by Tuesday, please? Which disagreements below would it be appropriate to resolve by reaching a compromise? A, Sofia is always interrupting Andeep impaired discussions.

B, Alex wants to play football, Izzy wants to play Frisbee.

C, Jacob and Lucas both wanna say the lever's poem aloud.

So in which of these disagreements would it be appropriate to compromise? Pause the video now.

Okay, well done.

So we can't really compromise if Sofia's always interrupting Andeep, that's just not right.

So Sofia needs to explain to Andeep why that is perhaps hurting her feelings or frustrating her.

But in B and C they should be able to reach a compromise.

Perhaps they could say, Alex would say, I want to play football, you want to play Frisbee.

So why don't we just spend five minutes doing football and five minutes doing Frisbee? Or we could do football today and Frisbee tomorrow.

And with Jacob and Lucas who both want to read the levers poem aloud, maybe they could do one verse each taking turns or they could just do half each.

So a compromise could be found.

So it's time for your second and final task of today's lesson and we're going to be doing some role play, resolving some disagreements.

So again, you are going to work in a group of four and for each situation below you are going to discuss whether or not it should be resolved using a compromise.

So that's the first thing you're going to do.

And then you're going to give each person one of the scenarios and they should prepare what they would say in this situation as the highlighted character.

So here are the four different scenarios.

One, Lucas wants to stay home and play video games, but Izzy wants to go outside out into the town.

Two, Sofia is upset that Laura keeps bossing her around, three, Jun wants to sit next to Andeep on the coach to the residential, but Sam wants to as well.

And four, Jacob is unhappy that Aisha's been gossiping about him.

So the first thing you're going to do as a team is you're going to, for each scenario, discuss could there be a compromise here? Could the compromise be made? And once you've gone through each one to decide if there could be a compromise could be made, then you are going to split up and each choose one.

So I might say I'll do number three and I'm then going to look at the character highlighted is Jun.

So I'm then going to prepare what Z would say in this situation.

So he wants to sit next to Andeep, to the residential, but Sam wants to as well.

So I'm Jun and I have to think about what I could say in that scenario.

So good luck, I hope you enjoy this task.

Pause the video now.

Okay, well done, let's come back together.

So only some of those disagreements should be resolved with a compromise.

The first one can be where Lucas and Izzy want to do different things, but it's not okay if Laura keeps bossing Sofia around.

So a compromise can't be made there.

Sofia just needs to tell Laura that she's upset and why.

A compromise can be made here on the trip to the residential.

Perhaps Jun could say, maybe I could sit next to you on the way there and Sam could sit next to Andeep on the way back.

So that's a compromise.

But again, in number four, if Aisha's been gossiping about Jacob, that's just not okay.

So Jacob needs to explain why he is unhappy about that.

A compromise can't be found here.

So remember if someone is doing something that is definitely wrong, you don't need to compromise with them.

Here are some examples of what you might have said when you were in role as a character.

Izzy, I know you really want to go into town.

Would it be okay if we finish this game and stay for lunch at home and then go into town afterwards? I promise we'll be there by 2:00 PM.

Or Aisha, I keep hearing that you are spreading rumours about me.

It's making me upset and making me not want to come to school, if you don't stop, I don't want to be your friend any longer.

So in the first example there, we saw somebody trying to make a compromise, but in the second example we saw somebody just saying, how you are behaving isn't okay.

It's making me feel upset and if this carries on, I don't want to be your friend any longer.

So the first offers Izzy a compromise.

The second tells Aisha her behavior's wrong and it needs to stop.

Let's summarise what we've learned today.

We've learned that everyone has different opinions and this is a good thing.

We can learn from each other and expand our ideas by listening to them.

We've learned that disagreeing with people's opinions is not a bad thing or something to be afraid of doing.

We can do it respectfully and calmly and still get along with the other person.

We've learned that we might have disagreements with friends and family about lots of different things.

When we do, we should listen carefully to their opinions and see if we can come to a compromise together.

And finally we've learned that it's not always appropriate to compromise.

Sometimes we just need to do calmly and politely tell a person that they are in the wrong.

So thank you so much for working so hard in this lesson.

Hopefully you feel really prepared now for how to handle it when you disagree with someone and how to politely and respectfully disagree.

And hopefully you also have got a bit more confidence now in trying to reach a compromise with someone.

Or equally in situations where you have to know that what someone's doing is not okay and just explain how you feel.

So hopefully I'll see you for some more learning another time.