Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

My name's Mrs. Riley, and I'll be teaching you today.

In our lesson today, we are going to be doing some practise of speaking socially.

Hopefully by the end of the lesson you'll have lots of really useful skills for starting conversations with people and for when you meet new people in your secondary schools.

Let's get started.

The outcome of today's lesson is to practise solving conflicts by agreeing and disagreeing respectfully and considering what to say when meeting new people.

These are our key words we'll be using in our lesson today.

Let's first of all just say them.

My turn, your turn.

Are you ready? Agree.

Disagree.

Conflict.

Okay, lovely.

So agree means to share an opinion, belief, or viewpoint with someone else.

If I said to you that I thought tennis was the best sport, if you agreed with me, you would also think tennis was the best sport.

To disagree is to have a different opinion, belief, or viewpoint from someone else regarding a particular topic, issue, or statement.

If I think tennis is the best sport but you think that football is the best sport, you would disagree with me because you have a different opinion.

And conflict is a disagreement between two people.

It's a bit like an argument, which hopefully we wouldn't have.

And hopefully in today's lesson we are going to learn how to avoid conflict or how to resolve conflict.

In our lesson, we've got two learning cycles.

In the first part of our lesson, we're going to be thinking a bit more about agreeing and disagreeing with one another.

And then in the second learning cycle, we'll be thinking more about how to build relationships in social situations, particularly when you start your secondary schools.

So let's start off by thinking about agreeing and disagreeing.

Now, we know that disagreeing with people is a normal part of everyday life.

It happens all the time because we are all different, and that should be celebrated.

It's a good thing we're different, but it does mean we disagree sometimes, and that's okay.

So how should we react when someone expresses an opinion we disagree with? So imagine you're in a conversation and someone else is saying something and you really disagree, you think really differently to them.

Could you pause the video and discuss that now with your partner? Okay.

Well done.

Let's come back together.

So you might have said something like, "We don't need to get upset when we disagree with people.

It's not that people are attacking us personally.

We can choose to explain why we think they're wrong or we can just agree to disagree and end the conversation." So if we have different beliefs to people about different, if we have different ideas, it doesn't mean that they don't like us as a person, so we need to try to not take it personally and either we can have a discussion about why we disagree, which often is really interesting 'cause you learn quite a lot when you have a discussion, or it's okay to just say, "Okay, let's just agree to disagree.

We think differently and that's fine." Let's check your understanding so far.

Alex thinks that children under 11 should be banned from using smartphones, but Aisha disagrees.

What might she say to him? A: "That's nonsense." B: "I see what you mean, but I think.

." Or C: "You are just wrong." Or D: "I understand your point, but I don't agree." Which of these would be appropriate responses for Aisha to say to Alex? Pause the video now.

Okay.

Well done.

The correct answers are B and D.

We wouldn't wan to say to someone, "That's nonsense," or, "You are wrong," because it's just their opinion.

But saying, "I see what you mean, but I think," and then giving you opinion or, "I understand your point, but I don't agree," is a much better response.

We might also disagree with friends about plans and behaviour.

And when this happens, we have two main options to resolve these issues.

The first option is we can come to a compromise, where both people give something up to resolve the disagreement.

For example, if Jun wants to sit next to Andeep on the bus but so does Sam, they could say, "Let's agree to take turns for different parts of the journey." Jun might say, "Okay, let's compromise.

I'll sit next to Andy on the way there, on the trip.

And Sam, you can sit next to Andy on the way back." That's called a compromise.

Or we can tell the other person what they're doing wrong and how they should change their behaviour.

This is when a compromise can't really be met because someone is just doing something wrong.

For example, if Jacob feels upset that Lucas is ignoring him at playtime, he tells Lucas how he feels and that he would like to spend time together.

So here's a scenario.

Laura overhears Aisha saying rude things about her.

Explain why this situation is not appropriate for a compromise and what Laura could say instead.

Pause the video and discuss this now.

Okay.

Lovely.

I heard some really nice conversations going on.

Well done.

So here's what you might have said.

"Here, Aisha is just in the wrong.

It wouldn't be right for them to compromise and say that she can be rude some of the time," 'cause we just shouldn't be rude about people, should we? "So Laura should tell Aisha that she's upset by what she heard and she needs Aisha to apologise if they are to stay friends." So sometimes if someone's just doing something really unkind, you can't say, "Okay, fine.

You can be mean about me sometimes, but sometimes can you be nice about me?" Sometimes we just have to say, "What you are doing is upsetting me.

And if if you don't change, then we probably can't be friends." When we're in groups, we will often find that conflicts come up about things people say and do.

For example, some people will say and do things we agree with, but sometimes people will say and do things that we disagree with.

And if we want to be able to get along with people in a group like this, we need to know how to agree and disagree in a way that keeps the group working.

Adults also, in a workplace, for example, if they were in a meeting, are going to have situations where sometimes they agree and sometimes they disagree.

But what's important is that that the adults don't start just arguing with each other and shouting at each other.

They have to find a way to resolve the conflict or find a way to move forward in a polite and respectful way.

And that's what we need to practise now.

So if we don't tell people we agree with them, we may feel isolated.

So if, for example, somebody in that meeting I'm in, that work meeting, somebody steps forward and says, "This is what I think," and I think the same thing but I'm just not gonna say it 'cause I'm too shy and I don't want to really say anything today in this meeting, then that person might feel isolated.

So it's important that I say, "You know what? I agree with you." And if we don't disagree respectfully, people may feel hurt.

So if I disagree, it's okay for me to say I disagree, but I need to do it respectfully, otherwise they might feel hurt.

So can you think of a time when disagreeing in a disrespectful way has made things difficult in a group? So think about either you might have been working in a team project in class or maybe you were in PE or at break time and somebody has disagreed but they've done it in a disrespectful way and how that made it difficult in a group.

Pause the video and discuss that now.

Okay.

Well done.

So here's an example of what somebody might have said.

"When we were on a residential, the boys in our dormitory were all arguing.

Some people wanted to stay up late and other people wanted to go to sleep.

And people got really upset and angry and we ended up having to sleep in different rooms, which was a shame because we are really good friends usually." So there's an example where they disagreed with each other.

Some people wanted to go to sleep, some people wanted to stay up.

But because they couldn't resolve it, they ended up in separate rooms and everyone probably went to bed feeling a bit sad.

So here's another scenario.

Some children are playing football.

Sam thinks the teams are unfair; and Jun too an does too, but he doesn't say so.

Why is this a problem? Turn and tell your partner.

Pause the video.

Okay, let's come back together.

So you might have said, "Well, Sam now feels isolated because she feels like she's the only who feels this way.

Also, the problem of the teams isn't resolved.

If Jun had spoken up too, then maybe other people would have agreed and they could have changed things.

So you should say when you agree with people." And I know when I was younger I was definitely in situations where somebody would say something and I felt a bit too shy to give my opinion, so I just stayed quiet.

But I actually wish I had just spoken up for what I believed in and said, "Actually, I agree," or, "I disagree." It's really important that we share how we feel as long as we do it in a polite and respectful way.

So when you are in a group and a conflict comes up, you might need to start a conversation about that conflict.

And sentences like these can help you to start that conversation: "Let's just stop for a minute and talk about this properly." "Hold on, let's discuss this properly." "Okay, before this goes any further, let's talk about it." And then you can start to hear the different sides of the conflict.

So imagine that scenario where somebody says, "I think the teams are unfair." You can say, "Okay, let's stop and talk about this properly." And then you could hear, "Okay, why do you think the teams are unfair?" and then, "Why do you think the teams are fair?" And then you can hopefully resolve the conflict.

So you might say, "Aisha, you go first and then you can say what you think, Sofia," or, "Sam, you start.

What's going on?" or, "Alex, you start.

Tell us what's wrong." These are really useful sentence stems to help resolving conflicts.

So here's another scenario.

Lucas, Laura, and Andeep are doing an experiment in science.

Everyone always likes doing science experiments, don't they? So Laura and Lucas are arguing about who should do the next step.

So let's imagine Laura has tipped something into the potion they're making and the next step is to stir it and Lucas wants to stir it.

Andeep wants to resolve the conflict.

What could he say to begin the conversation? So Lucas and Laura are are arguing about who does the next step, who does the stirring bit.

What could Andy say to try and help them resolve this conflict? Pause the video now.

Okay, lovely.

I heard some really good ideas.

Well done.

So he might have said, "Look, we need to get to work.

Let's stop and talk about this for a minute.

Laura, you go first and tell us what's going on.

Or you might say, "Let's pause for a minute and try and work this out.

Lucas, what do you want to say?" or, "Can we just take a minute to sort this? Lucas, you go first and then Laura." Once you've started the conversation about the conflict, you can then say who you agree and disagree with.

And we can do this respectfully and in lots of different ways.

So you might say, "I know what you mean, but I think," or, "I think Lucas is right, we should," or, "I hear what you are saying, but I agree with Sam because.

." "I think it would be best if we.

." "I can see both sides of this, but I think we should.

." We want to show both sides that we respect their views whilst also being honest about what we think is the right thing to do.

So we're not saying, "Lucas, that's a stupid thing to say," or, "Laura, you are wrong.

Lucas is right." We're instead showing that we respect both their opinions by saying something like, "I can see where you are both coming from," but then saying what you think is the right thing to do.

So how could you change what Laura and Lucas say to make it more respectful? So here's the first scenario, where they're not being very respectful.

So Laura says, "Lucas, you are being ridiculous.

It's my turn.

You did the last bit." And Lucas says, "Yeah, but that was only a tiny thing.

You just wait till the next step." So pause the video.

What could they say to each other to be a bit more respectful? Okay, well done.

I heard some really good examples there.

Here's what you might have said.

Instead, Laura could say, "Lucas, I know you want to do the next bit, but you did do the last step.

And I think we should just take turns and it will be your turn again soon." And Lucas might say, "I know what you mean, but I disagree.

The last part I did was really small.

I think we should swap after each big step in the instructions." So now Laura and Lucas, they've still said what they feel, but they've done it in more of a polite and respectful way.

So Andeep has now heard both sides of the conflict between Lucas and Laura and he decides Laura is right.

He thinks, "You know what? Lucas did do the last step, tipping the potion, tipping something in, and it is Laura's turn now to do the stirring." So what can he say to do this.

How can he say this respectfully to them? What could he say to them now? Pause the video.

Okay.

Well done.

Some really nice examples of what what he could say there.

So here's what you might have said.

"Lucas, I hear what you are saying, but I agree with Laura this time.

She should do it.

I'm sorry, but I think it's the right solution." Or another example: "I do think Laura should go next.

Sorry, Lucas.

I know it's frustrating, but I think she's right that we should just take turns." So we can see in both those examples, Lucas is still giving his opinion.

He's not just sitting on the side.

He's still saying, "I do actually agree with Laura," but he's respected Lucas.

He said, "I know it's frustrating and I can see your point.

I can see why you want to go next 'cause tipping it in was maybe a less exciting step." But he's saying, "I do think in this scenario taking turns is the best thing to do." So it's now time for you to do a task.

You are going to role play agreeing and disagreeing and resolving a conflict in a group of three.

Sam, Laura, and Aisha are sharing a dormitory on a residential trip.

This is the scenario.

Sam wants to stay up late talking, but Laura wants to get to sleep because she's tired, and they start getting angry with each other.

So let's just picture the scenario.

Let's just suddenly imagine we're on a residential, we're in a dorm, we're in our pyjamas, we're in our beds.

Sam and Laura are arguing because Sam wants to stay up chatting and Laura wants to go to sleep.

And we're Aisha and we are watching the scenario going on.

So Aisha wants to try and resolve, solve the situation and get the group back together, back to being friendly.

So you are going to role-play Aisha starting the conversation to solve the conflict.

And you are going to then role-play Sam and Laura agreeing and disagreeing respectfully before coming to a resolution as a group.

So one person can be Aisha, one person can be Sam, and one person can be Laura.

But remember you are practising having this conflict in a polite and respectful way, so I don't want to hear anyone saying anything rude or unkind to each other.

So I hope you enjoy this task, doing a bit of acting and a bit of role play.

Pause the video now.

Okay.

Lovely.

Let's come back together.

So here's an example of how this conflict might be resolved by agreeing and disagreeing respectfully.

So Aisha might have said, "Okay, guys, just stop for a minute.

We need to sort this out.

What's going on? Sam, you go first." And Sam might have said, "Okay.

Well, the way I see it is we're on holiday and I want to stay up late and talk to my friends 'cause we can sleep anytime when we're at home." And then Laura might say her point: "I understand.

I know it's exciting.

I'm really enjoying sharing a room with you too.

But I really want to get to sleep tonight because we're doing lots of activities.

We've been doing activities all day and we're doing lots more tomorrow." And Aisha might have then said, "Okay, let's not let this spoil our week.

I agree with you both, so why don't we stay up for 10 more minutes and then go to sleep? Does that sound good?" So in that scenario, Aisha has heard both their points, has said, "Let's find a compromise." And so all of that conversation was done in a really polite and respectful way even though there was a disagreement.

Okay, we're now going to look at the second learning cycle, which focuses on building relationships in social situations.

Relationships and groups aren't all about conflicts luckily.

When we meet new people, we have to put effort into building new relationships with them.

Friendships don't just happen like that.

We have to build relationships when we meet new people.

So could you discuss: How do you feel when you meet new people for the first time? Pause the video and discuss that now.

Okay.

Let's come back together.

Here's what you might have said.

"I can get quite nervous when I meet new people.

I feel much more shy than I normally would.

I know some people seem a bit more confident than me in those situations, but it just takes me a little while to get to feel confident with people." Maybe you might feel really confident when you meet new people and really enjoy it, but we're all different.

We all have different feelings about how we, when we meet new people for the first time.

So, of course, we will meet lots of new adults for the first time at secondary school, all your new teachers.

And here, we can easily make a good first impression.

We can give good eye contact with all these new adults.

We can follow their instructions.

We can show active listening by nodding.

We can be polite to them.

We should try and sound positive and friendly when we talk.

So these are all things we can do when we meet new adults for the first time at secondary school to make a good first impression.

So, what advice would you give Sam? Sam says, "I want to make a good impression with my new teachers, but I always feel really shy in front of adults I don't know very well." Pause the video.

And what advice would you give to Sam? Okay, let's come back together.

So here's what you might say to Sam.

"That's a very normal way to feel.

I would focus to start with just following instructions and being polite.

And over time, you'll feel more confident and you'll be able to talk more in front of your new teachers." That would be some really good advice for Sam.

Now, as well as adults, you'll also be meeting lots of new children at secondary school.

Maybe you are already gonna know some people 'cause maybe some children from your primary school will go to the same secondary school as you.

But in every case, there's always going to be lots of new children for you to meet.

And this is very different to meeting new adults because you'll want to try and become friends with some of the new children you meet.

So I'd like you to discuss now what helps when you're trying to make new friends.

If you're meeting someone and you're talking to them, what would help when you are trying to make new friends? Discuss that now.

Pause the video.

Okay.

I heard some really lovely ideas.

Here's what you might have said.

"I try hard to ask lots of questions and listen properly to the answers, as well as sharing lots of details about myself and things I like and dislike.

I think it's really important to listen as much as you talk when you are getting to know someone." So here are some tips for building good relationships when you meet someone for the first time.

You can share information about your likes and dislikes and ask the other person about theirs.

Don't just interview them.

So don't just say, "Were do you live? What's your name? How old are you? Who's your best friend? What do you like doing?" but also tell them about yourself.

So break it up a little bit, tell them something about yourself and then ask them a question.

Make sure you are not doing all the talking.

Ask questions and listen properly to the answers so that you can respond to them.

And give compliments perhaps about their possessions or things they did in lessons.

This is a great way to start a conversation.

And finally, give good eye contact and try to show positive body language.

So don't turn away from them or look at the ground.

Try and show positive body language, that you are interested in what they're saying.

So which of these are true of a first conversation with a new person? A, you should do all the talking.

B, you should share information about yourself.

C, you should ask questions about them.

D, you might want to compliment them on something they have done.

Which of these are true? Pause the video now.

Okay.

Well done.

The correct answers are when you have a first conversation with a new person, you should share information about yourself, ask questions about them, and maybe compliment them on something they have.

We don't want to do all the talking, so A was incorrect.

What advice would you give Alex? Alex says, "I love anime, so when I meet someone new, I always tell them lots about it.

Sometimes it seems like people don't care." What advice would you give Alex? Pause the video now.

Okay, let's come back together.

Here's what you might say to Alex.

"A conversation is a two-way street.

It's okay to share that you love anime, but this is your chance to find out what the other person's interests are so that you can both share.

Remember to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Don't just talk at them." What advice would you give to Jun? Jun says, "I feel like I'm good at starting conversations, but then I run out of things to say." What advice would you give? Pause the video now.

Okay.

Well done.

Perhaps you might say, "Remember, you could give a compliment or ask a question about them.

But conversation is about both people making an effort.

If you feel like the person isn't going to be a friend, you can just say, 'Well, it's nice to meet you,' and move on to talk to someone else." We obviously always want to be polite and friendly to people, but there will be some people that you just click with and get on with a little bit better.

So it's all right if you feel like perhaps you haven't got much in common with someone to just say, "It's nice to meet you," and move to talk to someone else, as long as we are always polite and respectful.

So it's time for your second task now.

You are going to imagine you're at secondary school and you are meeting someone you've never met before for the first time.

So, what greeting might you start with? What might be the first thing that you go over and say to this person? You can then list some you might use.

Next thing is: What would you want them to know about you? So have a think.

What's really important information that you might want to share about yourself? And you might again then list some things that you want to tell.

You could just do it in note form.

Then I want you to think, what would you want to ask them about themselves? And again, you can just list some questions you might like to ask.

So this is going to be the first part of our task and then we're going to practise some conversations.

So for this first part, you are just thinking about these things you might say and writing some notes so that you have those ready for when we do some role-play conversations.

Pause the video and complete this first part of the task now.

Okay.

Well done.

I hope you're feeling prepared for the next part.

But here's just some examples of what you might have said.

So here's the greeting Sam chose: "Hi, I'm Sam.

Nice to meet you." Here are some things Sam wants to share about herself: "I play rugby and table tennis.

My mom is from Poland so I speak fluent Polish.

And I went to Highbury primary school before this." So there are three things that Sam would like to share about herself.

Here are some questions that Sam might have written down to ask: "Do you do any sports? Where do you live? And what primary school did you go to?" So hopefully you've got a similar, some similar notes as this and you can now use them for the second part of our task where we're going to role-play meeting new people.

So you're going to work with a partner and imagine you are meeting them for the first time at secondary school.

You probably know each other all really well, but let's imagine you are meeting for the first time.

You're going to give a greeting and try to show positive body language by smiling and giving eye contact.

You're going to ask and answer questions about the other person to learn more about them.

And if you want, you can use some ideas from the first part of the task.

Remember, you can always give compliments.

And then you're going to end the conversation politely perhaps by saying something like, "It was really nice to meet you." So could you pause the video now while you complete the second part of the task? And enjoy your role-play.

Okay.

Well done.

It was really nice to hear those conversations going on.

So here's part of Sam and Sofia's conversation.

This is what your conversation might have looked like.

Sam says, "Hi, I'm Sam.

Nice to meet you." "Hi, I'm Sofia.

What school have you come from?" "I went to Highbury.

What about you?" "Oh, that's cool.

My cousin goes there.

I was at Park Lane." "Ah, okay.

What's your cousin's name?" "She's called Stacey, but she's only in year one so you probably won't know her." So you'll notice how Sam and Sofia were quickly able to move on to different conversation topics.

They didn't just have to stick to their questions.

And it was really nice that they were both talking and sharing information and asking questions as well.

It wasn't one person doing all the talking and one person doing all the listening.

Okay.

Well done.

So we've come to the end of our lesson now.

Let's summarise what we've learned today.

We've learned that when we're in groups, we will often agree and disagree with different people in the group.

And we can do this respectfully in order to try and resolve conflicts and keep our groups together.

When we meet new adults, we try to make a good first impression by following instructions and being polite.

And when we meet new children, perhaps at secondary school, we try to make friends by sharing information about ourselves, asking questions, and listening carefully.

So hopefully when you start your secondary schools, you can think back to this lesson and remember all these tips of how to start new friendships.

But also perhaps in the coming weeks, if there's any conflicts arising with your friends, or any disagreements, you can use what we've learned today to try and resolve any conflicts in a polite and respectful way.

Thank you so much for working so hard today.

And I'll see you for some more learning another time.