Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham, and it's so good to see you here for today's lesson.

Now, today we're taking the next step towards writing a piece of narrative writing based on the events in the climax of "When the sky Falls," by planning what we'll include in our writing.

Now this step is absolutely crucial to getting a good outcome, so let's see if we can produce some fantastic plans together.

Today's lesson is called Planning a Narrative Climax Scene in "When the Sky Falls" from our unit called "When the Sky Falls:" Narrative and Journalistic Writing.

By the end of today's lesson, you will have planned the structure and content of a section of a narrative climax, including specific vocabulary for effect.

Now, before this lesson, please make sure that you've got your notes with you from the last lesson where we generated ideas that we could use in a piece of writing based on the climax.

If you've got this with you, let's begin.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

The climax is the point in the narrative where the suspense and excitement reach their highest point.

The mood is the feeling or atmosphere in a section of text, and precise vocabulary means vocabulary chosen to create a particular impression or to have a particular effect on the reader.

Here's today's lesson outline.

We're going to start off by looking at some appropriate vocabulary we could choose in a narrative climax scene, and then we'll spend the rest of our lesson planning our narrative climax.

So as you know, we are planning to write a section of the climax of "When the Sky Falls" as a narrative, and we're going to cover the following events.

We'll cover Joseph running through the air rain to get to the zoo, Joseph climbing the fence, getting the gun, and training on Adonis, and Joseph being knocked down several times by explosions.

So you might finish this section with Joseph laying on the ground there, struggling to get up.

Now, what makes these events part of the climax and what mood will we aim to set as we write these events? Pause the video and have a chat to the person next to you or think on your own.

Well done, great ideas, maybe you said something like this.

These events are part of the climax because the tension is very high, anything could happen to Joseph, couldn't it? While he's running through the air raid, when he's at the zoo when it's being bombed.

And so we need to try and set a mood of danger, threat, and speed all the way through.

We're trying to show our reader that events are coming thick and fast, risks and dangers are coming thick and fast on Joseph as he goes through these difficult events.

Really well done for those thoughts.

So as part of setting this mood, we want to choose precise vocabulary that contributes towards it.

We're choosing words to have the effect on our reader that makes them think, "Ah, this is a tense, pacey, dangerous situation that Joseph is in." We're picking particular words to have that effect.

So for example, we might want to include precise vocabulary that shows how loud the explosions are, shows the heat of the fire, how hot it's, and shows the actions of the bombers, in what way are they moving.

And when we generate precise vocabulary, we might think of the following techniques.

We might think of descriptions that use adjectives like cacophonous explosions, meaning incredibly loud.

We might choose actions including personification like explosions tearing open the sky.

We've got nouns, doing things, actions that show a particular effect.

This shows that those explosions are so loud, it's like they're tearing the sky apart, and we might use similes and metaphors to draw attention to a certain aspect of one of the things we're describing.

So we could say, the explosions lit up the sky like fireworks, that's a simile because I'm comparing those explosions to fireworks, I'm not saying they are fireworks, but this draws attention to the brightness of those explosions, doesn't it? So all of these are techniques for making our vocabulary choices really precise to have a certain effect on the reader.

So which technique for generating precise vocabulary is being used in each example? Pause the video and see if you can match them up.

Well done, great ideas.

So do we have a description using adjectives? Yeah, we could say searing hot flames, that strong, powerful adjective, searing, describes how hot the flames are, it's more precise than just saying flames.

What about actions including personification? We need to see something, doing something.

So I could say fires devouring buildings on every side.

Now devouring is like a word for eating, isn't it? Eating very greedily.

Now, fires don't actually eat, we're using personification to show that it's like the fires are gobbling up buildings because they're moving so fast and they're so powerful.

And then similes and metaphors, we can see fires as hot as furnaces.

So we're comparing the fires to furnaces.

Now, a furnace is a type of fire anyway, but we're trying to suggest the idea that these fires are blazing, incredibly hot.

So all of these language choices give us more precise descriptions that have a certain effect on our reader, and that's what we're aiming to do in our writing.

Now, we also want to show the speed of events here.

It should appear as if Joseph is being bombarded by events, shouldn't it? Because this is such a dramatic point in the story, and things are happening quickly because the climax is so dramatic in "When the Sky Falls." So we can do this a number of ways to show this speed.

We can use short simple sentences in succession, that means one after the other.

So I could say he stood up.

He had to.

It was his duty.

Having those short sentences really adds a sense of pace to our writing.

We could use fronted adverbials of time that show speed like instantly, suddenly, at that moment, immediately, and we could use verbless sentences, let me show you what I mean.

They came again.

The bombers.

The demons from the sky.

They came again, is a normal short sentence, and that already has a certain speed to it because of how short it is.

But then I followed it with two verbless sentences that kind of clarify what I'm talking about.

I've said "they" in the first sentence, who's they? It's the bombers, and then I've clarified it *with a more precise piece of vocabulary, the demons from the sky.

So actually I've used a metaphor there in that final sentence as well.

So using those verbless sentences is another way of increasing the pace of our story, and the pace of the events in this climax.

So where can you see the techniques that show speed in this passage? We talked about verbless sentences, short sentences in succession, and fronted adverbials of time.

What can you spot in this passage? Pause the video and have a look.

Well done, good job.

So maybe you spotted some of these verbless sentences.

We've got through the hellish streets, and we've also got over shards of rubble.

Again, those two clarify, well, where's Joseph running? And those descriptions are really pacey, aren't they? Then I've got some fronted adverbials of time to show speed, such as suddenly.

And finally, I've got some short, simple sentences at the end, we've got, but he pressed on.

He had no choice.

He had to get there.

So again, the short, simple sentences in succession add to the pace of our writing.

Really well done for spotting those techniques in action.

Now another way of showing speed in the climax will be to select fast vocabulary, vocabulary that's talking about how fast we're doing things.

So you might want to use fast verbs that show how quickly things are moving.

Like Joseph raced through the streets.

The bombers sliced down from the fire-lit sky.

Bombs poured down from the sky like deadly rain.

Those verbs raced, sliced, and poured, all show speed, don't they? They are fast verbs.

Now, if we use a range of these fast verbs to show different actions across our piece of work, it will give the whole climax of sense of speed.

So if we repeatedly use fast verbs, we're gonna build that sense of speed all the way through, and that's going to build that tense, dangerous mood that we're aiming for.

So if you keep describing things moving fast, will give that sense of Joseph being bombarded by events, and everything happening very quickly, which adds to the stress and tension of what Joseph is experiencing.

So what verbs can you think of that show fast movement in a way that will add to our chosen mood? Pause the video and come up with a list of verbs that show this fast movement that we want to see.

Maybe think about how Joseph might move, how the bombers might move, how the flames might move, what fast verbs might we use in each of those situations? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, great thinking.

Maybe you thought of something like this.

I've got dashed, tore, swooped, ripped, were flung, were hurled, roared, raced, were thrown, sliced, swept, and seared, So I could say Joseph dashed through the burning streets.

I could say pieces of debris were flung towards him.

I could say that bombers roared down from the sky.

And notice how lots of these have a slightly negative meaning, don't they? Because remember, we want to show that it's not good that things are happening so fast in this climax, Joseph and the zoo are being bombarded by events.

It's the speed of events, which is making this such a tense situation.

So we're using lots of these fast verbs in a way that's slightly negative to show this tension that we're building in this climax.

Really well done for your ideas there.

So let's do our first task for the assessment.

Remember, we're focusing on choosing appropriate vocabulary.

So I want you to use the techniques we've discussed to generate some precise vocabulary to describe each of the following, the bombs and explosions, the fires, the bombers, and Joseph's movement.

So here are some examples of the techniques we've considered.

We've considered using adjectives like cacophonous explosions.

We've considered describing actions including personification like explosions tearing open the sky.

We've described using similes and metaphors like explosions lit up the sky like fireworks, and we've described using fast words like enemy planes hurled down fire.

So under each of these categories, can you think of any precise descriptions you could make that add to the mood of our climax? Post the video and come up with some notes for each of these to give some precise vocabulary we could use when we come to plan our narrative, have a go.

Well done, great job.

So here are some examples of the precise vocabulary we could use to set the mood in our climax.

For the bombs and explosions, we could say bombs shattering buildings on each side.

Explosions as loud as thunder.

Explosions setting the sky ablaze, thunderous explosions tearing open the sky, and bombs thrown relentlessly down from the sky.

So notice how there, I've got some similes, as loud as thunder.

I've got some things that the bombs are doing, bombs shattering buildings, and I've got some fast words like tearing open the sky, and thrown relentlessly down.

For the fires, I've come up with these: ravenous flames dancing on every side, roaring fires consuming buildings, searing flames crackling, fire moving relentlessly onwards, flames racing down streets, and flickering flames coming ever closer.

So again, we've shown some personification there, ravenous flames dancing and consuming.

We've got some fast words like moving relentlessly, racing as well.

So all of those add to the mood of tension in our narrative.

What about for the bombers? Well, we could say, swooped down like lightning bolts, that's a simile.

We've got roared overhead, raining down fire onto the hellish scene, tearing the sky apart, showing speed again, and also some personification.

Hunting down their prey, racing down to attack once more.

Again, we're showing speed and negativity, aren't we? We're showing that this is not a positive experience.

For Joseph's movements, I've got raced through the hellish streets, I'm showing speed, lept over rubble and shards of broken glass, dashed relentlessly onwards, dodged flying debris, and pushed on through the smoke and dust.

So again, we're trying to show the speed of things like dashed relentlessly, and we've got some really good description of the negative things he's experiencing as he moves.

So hopefully, you've come up with some great precise vocabulary, which you can now apply to your plan in the next part of our lesson, really well done.

So we're now going to move on to planning our narrative climax scene, using some of the ideas we've come up with, and also the ideas we generated in the last lesson, so make sure you've got those notes with you as well.

So we've generated many ideas for describing the climax.

We've considered some descriptive details we could include using Joseph's different senses, we did that in the previous lesson, and we've considered how we can show Joseph's emotions and thoughts in different ways, again, in the last lesson.

And we've considered what Joseph might say to himself, and to Tweedy and Adonis at different points.

And finally, we've now considered how to use precise vocabulary to set the mood for our climax.

And finally, we now have one more thing to do, which is to break down in more detail the action at each point, what is Joseph doing, and what is happening to him? So if we take each point in our climax, we can break it down into more detailed actions.

So for Joseph running through the air raid to the zoo, what's he actually doing? Well, he ran away from the air raid shelter, then he ran out onto the street maybe, then he dodged past the debris and the bombs, and then maybe he ran towards the zoo.

I've just taken that event and I've broken up a little bit into some smaller actions.

Now these actions don't need to be very detailed.

The actions are the basis, we're building all the other descriptions on, the senses, the emotions, the speech, the thoughts, and these precise pieces of vocabulary were all layered on top of a few simple actions, these are not complex actions I've included here, they're simple ones, but they're what we put all the other descriptions on top of.

So for the other two points in our climax, can you think of what actions we might describe to break them down further? Just simple actions we could include under each of these headings.

Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, good thinking.

So for the first one, I've kind of actually laid it out, haven't I? In the title for that one, we've got him jumping over the fence, running to get the gun, and running to Adonis's cage, and then he's deciding where to stand, we see that in the chapter, and finally, pointing or training the gun on Adonis.

For the next one, we've got Joseph being knocked down, so let's break that down, we can't just have that one event, we've got to include a few actions in here to make it a little bit more detailed.

So we could have, he fell to the ground due to a bomb, then he managed to get back up again, and then he is knocked over again by another bomb, and he's desperately trying to get up.

So we've broken that down into a few events, which will form the basis of what we add all of our descriptions to that will build the tension and the mood in our climax.

Really well done, for getting those actions broken down to help us to write much more easily.

So for each point in the narrative, we're going to have to consider each aspect that we've now explored.

So let's take Joseph running through the air raid to the zoo.

First of all, we'll be thinking "What will Joseph's senses be telling him at this moment?" That's our descriptive details, isn't it? Then we've got our emotive detail.

What will Joseph be feeling and thinking? How will we show that, and what will he be saying? All of that builds into the emotive details, proving what Joseph's feeling, and experiencing and thinking in that moment.

Then we've got the actions, what we just discussed.

What is Joseph doing at this point? And finally, we've got our vocabulary.

So what precise vocabulary will help us to show the mood at this point? So for each of those three points we're focusing on, we're asking ourselves these four groups of questions.

And by combining all those details together, we're going to give our reader a really clear picture of what's happening, how Joseph is reacting to it, and maintaining that mood of speed and danger all the way through.

So can you match the examples to the types of detail well include in our plan? We talked about those four different categories of detail, which example matches with each category? Pause the video and have a go.

Well done, good job.

So for Joseph's senses, we can say this one, the roar of the bombers overhead drowned out all other noise.

That's a description of what Joseph was hearing, isn't it? Then for emotions, feelings, and speech, I could say his hands trembled as he aimed the rifle at Adonis, we're showing, not telling there to show that he's feeling nervous.

For Joseph's actions, I could say trained the gun on Adonis, very simple, and then for precise vocabulary, I can say the ravenous bombers threw down fire on every side.

That adjective ravenous is almost a piece of personification, isn't it? As if they're eating up buildings, and then we've got threw down fire as a fast verb to show the pace of the action there.

So we want to try and include all these types of detail in our plan.

So here are Alex's notes in each section for his plan, for the first event in the climax for Joseph, running through the air raid to the zoo.

First of all, he thought about Joseph's different senses, the descriptive detail, and Alex wrote this.

"He's going to feel the tremors of the ground.

He's going to see buildings tumbling down, explosions lighting up the sky, and he's going to be hearing cries of pain or fear." Then he wants to show what Joseph is feeling and thinking.

So you can say this, "He knew he had to go to the zoo and keep his promise to Mrs F.

His heart was pounding, his breath was racing," that's show-not-tell, "and or a retrocecal question, "Were the bombs coming closer?" Then Joseph's actions, he could describe this, "Ran away from the air raid shelter, ran out into the streets, dodged past debris and bombs, and ran towards the zoo." You already discussed that, and finally, for precise vocabulary, at this point he could say, "Raced through the hellish streets, leapt over rubble and shards of broken glass, dashed relentlessly onward, and dodged flying debris." Again, we discussed that in the first task of our lesson.

So Alex has now got an incredibly detailed plan for this first step in his climax, showing Joseph's sensations, Joseph's feelings, Joseph's actions, and the precise vocabulary Alex wants to use to keep this mood going.

Now let's zoom in on one part of Sofia's plan.

These are Sophia's notes relating to Joseph's emotions for the second part of her climax, where Joseph is now at the zoo.

So what different techniques has she used to show Joseph's emotions in these notes? Pause the video and see if we can spot them.

Well done, good thinking.

So first of all, we've got stating what Joseph's thoughts are.

"He knew he could do what Bert had done, knew he had to do his duty and find the rifle." Those are the thoughts that he has.

Then she's used show-not-tell to show how he's feeling.

"Hands trembling as tears filled his eyes, breathing hard, gasping for air." We're showing his feelings without saying them.

Then we've got rhetorical questions.

"Could he really do it? Would he ever pull the trigger?" And finally, she's got Joseph's speech.

"Don't worry, I'm here, I'll keep you safe," There, Joseph is speaking to you, well done, Adonis.

So all of these contribute to showing Joseph's emotions.

This is a great section of one detail that we're including in our plan.

Okay, now let's do the most important part of our lesson and arguably, the most important part of the whole writing process, we're going to write our plan.

So I want you to write your notes for your plan for each section of the climax, Section 1, 2, and 3 like I've shown here.

And I want you to use the questions in the grid and all your previous ideas to help you.

Now remember, none of this is new, we've come up with all these ideas already, we just need to now bring them together in one place for a set of notes we can use when we come to write.

So remember, for each of these sections, for each event in the climax, we're going to say, what will Joseph's different senses be telling him? What will he be feeling and thinking, how we show this and what he'll be saying? What he's doing, his actions, and what precise vocabulary will help us to set the mood in that section? So you might want to use a grid like I've shown here, or just simply a list split into four sections for each of these three events in the climax.

So pause the video and use your ideas from the previous session, and this one so far, to create your notes for the plan for this climax, have a go.

Well done, fantastic job! Now, I'm not going to show you an example for each section, but here are Alex's notes for his third section of his climax, where Joseph's been knocked down several times by those explosions.

For Joseph's senses, Alex said this, "He feels the dust on his skin.

He smells fires burning close by.

He sees the flame leaping high, and he hears the roar of plane engines." So we've got some great descriptive detail, what about emotive detail? Alex has said, "He knew he had to get up." He stated the full.

"Bones aching, lungs choking on dust." So that's from show-not-tell.

And would Mrs F give up? Is a rhetorical question to show an inner thought.

What about Joseph's actions? Well, we already said these.

"He fell to the ground due to the bomb.

He managed to get up, he was knocked over again, and he desperately tried to get up at the end." And then for precise vocabulary, I've got this, "Ravenous flames dancing on every side, bombers racing down to attack once more, and searing flames crackling." So again, we've got things like racing to show that speed, searing as an adjective, to show how hot the flames are, and ravenous and dancing, a personification to show the way the flames are moving.

So we've got some really precise vocabulary there as well.

Can you see how Alex is able to include all of these details in his piece of writing? Then his climax is going to really have that tense, pacey mood we're aiming for, and I'm sure yours will too, well done.

So let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

We've said that when we write, it helps us to plan the structure and content of our work.

And in order to build a certain mood, we've seen we can plan to include precise vocabulary, including words that contribute to the pace of the narrative.

And our plan also includes notes about Joseph's emotions, his actions, and his senses at different points in the narrative.

Really well done, for your effort in this session.

Because you've worked so hard at your plan, it's going to make the writing step of the writing process much easier to do.

I'd love to see you in the next session, where we'll begin writing our first draught, goodbye!.