Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham.

I'm so glad you decided to join me for today's lesson.

Today we're going to be writing the first half of a journalist report based on the events and the resolution of "When The Sky Falls." This is going to be a great chance for you to show off your writing skills.

Let's make a start.

Today's lesson is called, Writing the first half of a journalistic report based on "When The Sky Falls," and it comes from our unit called "When The Sky Falls" narrative and journalistic writing.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll have written the introduction and first two main paragraphs of a journalistic report about the events and the resolution of "When The Sky Falls." Now for this lesson, you will need to have with you your plan, which you've written in previous lessons.

If you've got that, let's make a start.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

A formal tone is the effect created by using serious, factual language.

Direct speech is when we write the exact words spoken by someone enclosed in inverted comments to indicate speech.

Reported speech is when we write what someone said without using the exact words they spoke, and without using inverted comments, and cohesive devices are language structures that contribute to text cohesion.

Here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by writing the introduction.

Then we'll write the first main paragraph and then the second main paragraph, and we'll write the final two paragraphs in the following lesson.

So as you know, we are writing a journalistic report based on the events and the resolution of "When The Sky Falls," and our report's going to follow this structure.

We're going to have an introduction that summarises the key details, and then we'll have three main paragraphs that give different perspectives and some extra details.

So we'll give the perspective of an air raid warden, of Mrs. Farrelly, Mrs. F and of Joseph.

And then we'll finish with a conclusion that tells us the newest information, gives the official position from the council spokesperson, and the looks towards the future.

And of course, we'll begin by writing the introduction.

Now, as you know, a journalistic report usually uses a formal tone with serious, factual language.

So how do we create that tone? Well, first of all, we're going to avoid using contractions like shouldn't and won't, and we're going to use serious language.

We're going to avoid chatty or imaginative language and we'll make clear what is fact and what is someone's perspective and we'll say what different people think about events, but we won't usually give our own opinion as the journalist and we're going to use the third person.

Remember, we are not part of the story ourselves.

Now of course, this will change slightly when we're giving people's perspectives and using direct speech because they will of course use the first person when they speak and they might use contractions when they speak because they're using spoken language.

But when we are writing as the journalist, we're going to follow these rules in order to create that formal tone.

So which of these examples use as a formal tone that's appropriate to a journalistic report? Pause the video and decide.

Well done, good job.

Hopefully you spotted that it is B.

So in A, we've got the wardens told me they couldn't believe their eyes.

So we've used me, the first person and we've got a contraction there.

In C, we've said as well as that, a hungry wolf was shot.

I'm glad I wasn't there.

So there we're giving our opinion and we're using the first person as a journalist.

So we wouldn't do that.

And then the D says, the council says it'll help the zoo recover, but it'll be closed anyway for a fair while.

So there's some chatty language there and we've also got some contractions and we've used but to start a sentence, which is quite an informal way of writing.

So it's B that's most appropriate where we've used some serious language like incident and occurred and we haven't used the first person, we've used the third person.

So we're aiming for a formal tone like we see in B.

So here you can see those three sentences from the previous slide, which didn't use the right formal tone.

How could you change each sentence so it does have a formal tone that's appropriate to a journalistic report? Pause the video and have a go at changing each sentence to give it a more formal tone.

Well done, good job.

Here are some ideas.

For A, we could write the wardens were shocked by what they saw.

We've removed the first person, we've removed the contraction.

For B, we could say in addition to this, a wolf was put down after it escaped its cage.

For C, I could say the council says that it will help the zoo recover.

However, there are no plans for it to reopen before the end of the war.

In each case, we using now serious, factual language, we're using the third person and we've removed any contractions and casual chatty language that we saw in the informal examples.

Really well done for the changes you thought of.

So your plan for the introduction, which we're going to write first, might look a bit like this.

We've got a plan for a headline, a plan for a summary of the event, saying who, what, where, when, and why.

And a plan to talk about another major event that happened.

So talk your plan through now with your partner for the introduction.

What is it you are planning to say in the introduction? Pause the video and have a chat to the person next to you or have a think on your own.

Well done, good job.

Now when we write this introduction, what we might do is to restate that summary information, the who, what, where, when, why twice, becoming more specific the second time.

Let me show you what I mean.

Here's an example introduction, man fined for blitz blackout rule-break.

A man was fined last night in central Manchester for defying blackout regulations during an ongoing air raid.

John Cavendish, resident of Wythenshawe road was sanctioned by air raid wardens after he removed his blackout curtains and used electric lights without proper caution.

A number of houses experienced direct hits during the raid.

So we can see that that first sentence gives us a general summary of what happened, but then the second sentence restates that same information in a more detailed way.

We learn the person's name, we learn where they lived, we learn exactly what he did wrong to in order to be fined as the first sentence told us.

So it's given us the same kind of information but in a more detailed way.

And then that final sentence gives us an additional important event that relates to what we've heard in the rest of the introduction.

So how could we present this summary information that we've got here in both a general way and a specific way? And you can use these ideas or your own plan if you've got it with you.

So let's come up with one general way of describing it and then a more specific way that gives some more specific details about what's happened in this summary.

Pause the video and have a go.

Well done, good job.

So here's an example of how you could have done it in a general way.

You could have said yesterday evening, a gorilla was shot dead at a London zoo after it escaped its cage.

We haven't said the name of the gorilla or the name of the zoo.

We've just given general information.

In a specific way, it could sound like this.

Adonis, the North London Zoo's most priced animal was killed by air raid wardens at around 11:30 PM.

His enclosure's fence had been damaged by the night's bombing raids.

So we've kind of explained there more about his name and the name of the zoo.

We've given a precise time that it happened, a bit more detail about how important he is at the zoo and also the explanation for how he got out of the cage.

So we could have both of those in our introduction.

We could have first a general summary, then the specific summary and that will give our reader a really clear understanding of what's happened.

So let's do our first task for this lesson.

We're going to write the headline and the introduction using your own notes.

So, say or think each sentence before you write it and write the sentence then taking care with your spelling.

And of course read it back to check it.

As we said before, you could include a general summary, then a specific summary, and finally a sentence about another major event that happened.

And in my example, I've included the wolf being shot.

So pause the video and have a go at writing your introduction.

Well done, really good job.

Here's an example of the introduction you might have written.

I've written gorilla shot as zoo bombed for my headline.

Then for my general summary I've written, a gorilla was shot at a London Zoo last night after it escaped from its cage.

Then for my specific summary, Adonis, a 15-year-old gorilla housed at the North London Zoo, was killed by air raid wardens at around 11:30 PM.

He escaped from his enclosure after its fence was destroyed by Nazi bombing.

And then my other important event, in addition, a wolf was shot at the zoo after it escaped and it was threatening to kill a vulnerable child.

So we've got a headline that summarises the story.

We've got a first sentence giving a general summary.

We've got a second sentence giving a specific summary and a third that gives that other major event we think people should know about.

So hopefully our introduction has really given people a good idea of what they're going to read about in the rest of the article.

Really good job.

So now we're ready to write the first main paragraph, giving one of the perspectives we're going to cover.

So we know this main paragraph is going to cover the perspective of the air raid warden for our first main paragraph.

So we'll need to do the following.

We'll need to introduce the person and explain how they're connected to the events.

We need to include a quotation that uses direct speech and explain some of their view as well using reported speech where we don't use the exact words that they said and we're going to include any other relevant factual information that helps us to understand the events.

We might need to say things that happened in order to understand the perspective of this person.

So here's the example of the notes you might have made for the paragraph from the giving the perspective of the air raid warden.

I've got introducing the person, Andy Mayo, the air raid warden who attended the scene, some direct speech notes and some reported speech notes.

Yours will look different, but we've got a structure like this to help us to include all those details in our paragraph.

So pause the video and talk through your notes for this section to see what you plan to write in this paragraph.

Have a go.

Now, of course we want to use a range of cohesive devices throughout our report to connect our ideas together.

So here are a few ideas.

We might want to include fronted adverbials.

We could have formal frontal adverbials like in addition to this and however, and fronted adverbials of course, like as a result or due to this.

We'll have lots of different sentence types that we know like compound sentences and adverbial complex sentences, relative complex sentences and non-finite complex sentences.

And we'll also use a range of punctuation.

We can use a semicolon to connect closely related sentences, a colon to introduce an explanation, or we could use brackets and commas to add parenthesis along with all the other punctuation that we know.

So how could you connect these ideas together using cohesive devices? I've got, said that boy tried to stop them, but had to shoot it.

Role is to keep public safe.

There's a note.

How could you connect those ideas together using different cohesive devices? Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, good thinking.

So here's one example.

I've said, Mr. Mayo said that the boy, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer attempted to stop them from shooting the animal, semi colon, however, he argued that they have no choice but to do so because their role is to keep the public safe.

So here I've got parenthesis and brackets there for Joseph's age and name, a semi to connect the sentences together.

I've got a formal frontal adverbial, however after the semicolon, and I've got an adverbial complex sentence there using because.

So loads of different cohesive devices used there to connect the ideas together and show the relationships between them.

So let's prepare to write this first main paragraph now.

I want you to already rehearse what you want to write for this paragraph, saying it out loud using some of those cohesive devices that we've discussed.

Now of course, remember that direct speech is the one that uses those rules for inverted commas.

Now we won't see that when we're speaking out loud here, but bear that in mind as you speak.

And of course reported speech will use words like explained that, said that, or argued that, to report what the person said without using their exact words.

So have a go now orally rehearsing, saying aloud your paragraph here, using some of the techniques and the cohesive devices that we've discussed.

Pause the video and have a go.

Really well done.

Here's an example of what you might have said.

Andy Mayo, an air raid warden who attended the scene said that the zoo was badly damaged in last night's raids.

"When we got there, the place was already on fire and in ruins," he explained.

"Suddenly we saw a wolf heading towards a boy who appeared to be injured and we shot it immediately to protect him," he added.

The warden was then astonished to see a gorilla emerge from the smoke.

While the boy, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer, attempted to stop the wardens from shooting, they said they had no choice.

"Our job is to protect the public," Mr. Mayo explained.

So there got three different pieces of direct speech, I've got some reported speech as well, but I've also got some simple statements of fact.

The warden was then astonished to see a gorilla emerge from the smoke.

I'm saying that that is the case.

It's not reported or direct speech.

So we sometimes need to do that to ensure our reader understands exactly what's happening in the events.

So now we're ready to write the first main paragraph and here's the success criteria we're going to use.

It says I've used a formal tone in the third person.

I've used a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and I have used direct and reported speech to show an individual's perspective.

And of course we can tick these off as we go.

So now I'm going to show you how to write this paragraph.

Okay, so I've already started to introduce a person whose perspective we're giving here.

I've said Andy Mayo, a volunteer air raid warden.

So I've given his name and then a piece of parenthesis to say who he is.

But what's his connection to the events? Well, he was there, wasn't he? So I'm going to finish this sentence by saying Andy Mayo, a volunteer air raid warden was a witness.

And I could just say to the events at the zoo, but could we try and show how dramatic those events were? We could say to the dramatic events or to the chaotic events at the zoo, what should we go for? Yeah, let's say chaotic.

So Andy Mayo, a volunteer air raid warden was a witness to the chaotic events at the zoo.

Okay, so we've explained who he is and his connection to the events as well.

So then I need to say something about what he saw when he got there.

And I think I'll do this using some direct speech.

So I'm going to open my inverted commas and I'm going to actually include a cohesive device and verbal complex sentence within his speech.

I'm going to say when we got there, well what did they see? Well, they were already seeing lots of devastation, aren't they? So I'm going to say, when we got there, several buildings were what? Yeah, you could say had been destroyed or maybe they were still ablaze at that time.

So I could say were ablaze.

I like that word.

You could say on fire, but ablaze is nice.

Okay, and then I'm going to close my speech marks, my inverted comm.

Oh, but hang on, we always need some punctuation before we close our inverted commas, don't we? So I think it's going to be a comma here because it's not a question and he's not making an exclamation there.

And then I need to give my reporting clause.

I'm going to say he explained.

Okay, let's take that back.

When we got there, several buildings were ablaze, he explained.

Okay, and then I'm going to describe something that happened next.

Well, what they saw when they arrived was that wolf heading towards Joseph and they shot it.

So I'm going to just keep this simple.

I'm going to say the wardens spotted what? Yeah, well done.

Not just a wolf but an escaped wolf.

We need to show that this has come from the zoo.

So an escaped wolf and what was it doing? Yeah, heading towards.

Now we might not have introduced Joseph yet, so I'm going to say towards a boy.

And then in brackets I'm going to explain who that boy is and the boy is 12.

And I can use hyphens here, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer.

So I've put some parenthesis in brackets to explain who he is.

And then what did they do to that wolf? The wardens, oh, I've missed a word, haven't I? The wardens spotted or saw, should we say spotted? The wardens spotted an escaped wolf heading towards a boy, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer.

Now I could just finish that sentence there, but I think I'm going to continue it with and what did they do? Yeah, we could say and instantly shot it dead.

So we explained in one sentence there exactly what happened with the wolf and who was involved and what they did to it.

Let's just check it back.

The warden spotted an escaped wolf heading towards a boy, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer, and instantly shot it dead.

Okay, now we've got to say that then the gorilla appeared, then Adonis appeared.

So I think we can do this using direct speech again.

So I'm going to say, that was when we saw the gorilla and what's their reaction going to be to that? Yeah, they would be very shocked, aren't they? So I think I'm going to do a semicolon and say we couldn't believe it.

Now we've said that we're writing in a formal tone.

So I wouldn't normally use a contraction like couldn't.

But this is within his speech.

So this is spoken language and it's appropriate to use it there.

So he said that was when we saw the gorilla, we couldn't believe it.

And I'm going to then say Mayo said, or he's already spoken once.

So I could say Mayo continued, couldn't I? That would work nicely.

Okay, let's lock that in with a full step.

Now the next part is where they want to shoot the gorilla and Joseph wants to stop that from happening.

So there's a contrast there, isn't there? We've got what the wardens want to do versus what Joseph wants to do.

So I'm going to use a cohesive device to show contrast.

I'm going to say although.

So, although this, this I'm going to say although Palmer, and we often refer to people just by their surnames in newspaper articles.

So although Palmer attempted to do what? Yeah, to stop, to stop them, what did the wardens do? Yeah, we could say the wardens and I'm going to do some reported speech here where we say what they said without using their exact words, we could say the wardens explained that, what? Yeah, that they had no choice.

Oh, let's check that they, missed an H there.

Explained that they had no choice.

Okay, let's read that back.

Although Palmer attempted to stop them, the warden explained that they had no choice.

Hmm, first of all it should be wardens, but hang on, I haven't said no choice but to do what we need to say no choice but to shoot Adonis.

Now they're not going to call him Adonis, they're going to call him maybe something a bit less personal.

So they had no choice but to shoot the creature or the animal.

Okay, so let's read that back now.

Although Palmer attempted to stop them, the wardens explained that they had no choice but to shoot the creature.

Okay, let's read back our paragraph and see if we've met our success criteria.

Read it with me aloud.

Andy Mayo, a volunteer air raid warden, was a witness to the chaotic events at the zoo.

"When we got there, several buildings were ablaze," he explained.

The wardens spotted an escaped wolf heading towards a boy, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer, and instantly shot it dead.

"That was when we saw the gorilla.

We couldn't believe it," Mayo continued.

Although Palmer attempted to stop them, the wardens explained that they had no choice but to shoot the creature.

So we've used a formal tone and third person.

We've referred to him as Andy Mayo and it's Joseph Palmer.

We've used a range of cohesive devices, we've got our parenthesis and commas here, parenthesis and brackets here, two adverbial complex sentences and also a compound sentence here.

We've got some direct speech, two pieces, in our inverted and we've got our reported speech when we said, explained that, here as well.

Okay, you've seen me have a go, now it's your turn to write.

Of course, use your success criteria and your plan to help you and think carefully about how you're going to use some of our cohesive devices to connect your ideas together.

And remember it's okay to change your plan and of course it's okay to change also your oral rehearsal from earlier.

So pause the video and have a go at writing this first main paragraph.

Well done, great effort.

So here's an example of how you might have written this paragraph.

It says Andy Mayo, who's a volunteer air raid warden, attended the chaotic scene at the zoo.

"It was already very badly damaged when we arrived," he explained.

Spotting an escaped wolf heading towards a child, 12-year-old Joseph Palmer, the wardens acted fast, shooting it dead.

However, the drama was not over.

Mayo then saw a gorilla looming through the smoke.

He explained that it was necessary to shoot the prized animal because it posed a threat to public safety.

So we've definitely got a formal tone and we've used a third person and we've got a range of cohesive devices here.

We have for instance, a relative complex sentence, parenthesis and brackets, a colon to introduce an explanation, and we've got because to create an adverbial complex sentence and we've got both direct and reported speech, we've got inverted commas around our direct speech, and we've used explained that to introduce the reported speech.

So we've got a really good first main paragraph completed here and I'm sure that you've done the same.

Well done.

So now we're ready to write our second main paragraph, giving a different perspective.

Now we know this second main paragraph is going to give Mrs. F, Mrs. Farrelly's perspective from the events.

Here's an example plan of this section.

We're introducing the person, we've got a direct speech note and we've got a reported speech note.

You could switch those around as you write.

You don't have to give them exactly the same as in your plan.

So pause the video for a moment and talk through your notes for this section with a partner.

Have a go.

Well done, fantastic job.

And of course we're going to want to continue to use the wide range of cohesive devices that we've used before.

Here's some ideas far we could do it.

We could use two adverbial complex sentences connected by a semicolon like this.

Margaret Farrelly has run North London Zoo since the death of her parents, semicolon.

Last night, she arrived at the zoo shortly before Adonis was shot.

We could also include relative complex sentences like this.

Margaret Farrelly, who has been running the zoo since the death of her parents, arrived at the scene to find wardens preparing to shoot the gorilla.

And of course we're going to want to maintain our formal tone and continue to include our reported speech and direct speech in this paragraph.

So how could you combine these ideas using cohesive devices? We've got here some direct speech notes, but how could we include cohesive devices within that direct speech? And of course this is going to Mrs. F doing the direct speech here.

So how could you do that? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, good ideas.

Maybe you thought something like this.

"I'm still in shock," colon, "I've had Adonis for many years and he'll be very sorely missed," Mrs. Farrelly added.

So I got my reporting clause there after the direct speech and I've got a colon included there to introduce the explanation by explaining why Mrs. F is in shock.

We've got a compound sentence as well using and and we've got that direct speech using the inverted commas correctly.

So let's begin our final task for this lesson.

You're going to already rehearse your second main paragraph, giving Mrs F's perspective using your cohesive devices.

So using your plan or mine if you need to, rehearse what you want to say for this paragraph, remembering you'll probably want to change some of these details to make them work well with certain cohesive devices, and that is absolutely fine.

As I said, you can switch your direct speech into reported speech however you like.

Pause the video and have a go at orally rehearsing this paragraph.

Well done, great job.

Here's an example of what you might have said for this paragraph.

Margaret Farrelly, the zoo's manager since the death of her parents, arrived at the zoo just as air raid wardens prepared to shoot Adonis.

"I told them to stop because Joseph could have been hit," she explained, "but they wouldn't listen." Mrs. Farrelly said that she understood the need to protect the public.

She herself had been guarding the ape during previous air raids.

"I'm still in shock.

We've had Adonis for so long, he was very special.

He'll be sorely missed," she added.

Mrs. Farrelly says that the damage to the zoo is severe, but she will continue to look after the remaining animals.

So you'll have seen a lot of cohesive devices there.

We've also got our direct and reported speech and of course we've started off by introducing Mrs. F at the start of the paragraph.

Really well done for your ideas there.

So now it's your time to write this paragraph.

Of course in the same way as we did before, use your success criteria and your plan here to write.

And remember, it's okay to change it.

And let's see if we can use lots of those different cohesive devices to connect our ideas together.

Pause the video and have a go at writing this paragraph.

Well done, fantastic effort.

Here's an example of how you might have written this paragraph.

I've written, the zoo in question is currently managed by Margaret Farrelly, who took over this role from her parents.

She attended the zoo late last night, arriving in time to see wardens preparing to shoot the gorilla.

"I asked them to hold fire," she said, "but they wouldn't listen.

They could quite easily have shot Joseph by accident!" Mrs. Farrelly explained that she did not object to the execution of the ape.

"I know how dangerous he could be.

That's why I've been guarding him myself during every raid." The zoo, which now has few animals remaining suffered severe damage in the raid.

So I've got my formal tone, I've got lots and lots of cohesive devices here.

We've got relative complex sentences, non-finite I-N-G complex sentences, semicolons and colons, and another relative complex sentence at the end there.

And we've got of course, direct speech.

And this one is an interrupted speech sentence and we've got reported speech as well using explained that.

Really well done for your effort as well and for including all those features, good job.

So summarise our learning in this lesson.

We've said that when we write a journalistic report, we use a formal tone and the third person and we write in a mixture of tenses.

We use a range of cohesive devices throughout the report to connect ideas including different sentence types and a range of punctuation.

And we know that we include both factual information and individual's perspectives.

We know that we're giving perspectives, we use inverted comments to show direct speech and we use words like stated that and explained that to show reported speech.

Really well done for your effort in this lesson.

You've done a great job at starting off your journalistic report.

I'd love to see you again in the next lesson in order to continue and complete your report.

I'll see you there, goodbye.