Lesson video

Using punctuation to create specific effects.

Hello and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Mr. Young and it is great to be teaching you on this lesson, which is all about using punctuation to achieve specific effects in our creative writing.

Now, when we think of creative writing, we normally think about vocabulary and language devices as having the most impact.

But in today's lesson, I'm going to show you how punctuation, used well, can have just as much impact.

So let's get started.

So in today's lesson, we'll have a very clear learning outcome.

So by the end of today's lesson, everybody should be able to walk away doing the following thing.

I can use a range of punctuation accurately to create precise, identifiable effects.

And just like in any lesson, we will be accompanied by our keywords, which we will revisit again and again in today's lesson.

So I do encourage you to jot these down.

In particular, these ones are also going to include some punctuation terms and their corresponding punctuation mark.

So do jot that down if that's new to you, particularly because we're gonna be using these a couple of different times in today's lesson.

But our key words are ellipsis, a piece of punctuation that can represent a pause or something unsaid.

Semicolon, a piece of punctuation that can separate two closely related clauses.

Colon, a piece of punctuation that can introduce lists or explanations and separate two related sentences.

Brackets, a piece of punctuation that can be used to add parentheses or extra information in a sentence.

And finally, clarity.

If something has clarity, then it is clear and intelligible.

So today's learning is all about descriptive writing.

One of my favourite things to do and one of my favourite things to teach as a teacher.

So our learning cycles are really underpinned by that.

So our first learning cycle is all about using punctuation in our descriptive writing, so kind of recapping the punctuation types and the specific effects that they can have in our writing.

Then we're gonna move on to learning cycle two, where we are going to just improve our writing.

So we're gonna take that piece of writing we did in learning cycle one and make it even better.

So let's get started with learning cycle one.

Okay, so I'm gonna hand it straight over to you then.

So I have a question on the board, which is, why is punctuation important in our writing? So pause that video and have a discussion if you're in a classroom, and if you're working independently, just jot down some ideas and then do hit play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, so great conversations taking place there.

I'm hearing lots of ideas go across the classroom.

And you know, I'm particularly impressed by that enthusiastic start.

So let's keep that going as much as possible.

So when I think of punctuation, and hopefully you picked up on this in your own discussions, I think using punctuation accurately ensures our writing has clarity.

And remember, if something has clarity, it is clear and intelligible.

The way I like to think of punctuation, really, is like road signs.

So what I mean by that is they can tell your reader when to speed up and when to slow down.

And in particular, advanced punctuation can be impactful.

It can really enhance our writing, it can can enhance your word choices and make your writing more engaging.

But you should not try and include advanced punctuation as a box tick.

You shouldn't just kind of try and wedge anything in there that you can.

It's inclusion should be just as thought out as other choices you make.

So your choice of words, your choice of characters, your choice of setting.

So it is that kind of important to our writing.

So another discussion question for you then please, what punctuation do you use currently in your writing? What effect does it have? So really interesting self-reflection question there.

So pause that video, have a discussion and then do hit play when you would like to continue.

Okay, once again, some lovely discussions taking place there.

And I'd really love to see people taking ownership for their own learning in that way.

So it's really good to kind of reflect on where your work is currently and kind of are there any opportunities for improvement.

So hopefully, this lesson will allow you to improve on your writing a little bit based on those discussions.

Okay, so let's remind ourselves of some of the punctuation types we already use in our writing.

So we have exclamation marks, and these convey intense emotion.

So an example might be, we needed to escape, which kind of shows panic or fear.

We also have question marks, which pose a question.

Again, an example might be, what would we do when night fell? Full stops end a declarative sentence.

A declarative sentence conveys a piece of information.

So an example might be the relentless grey clouds made their approach.

A comma, a comma separates a main clause and a subordinate clause.

It can do other things as well, but this is its most common use.

And again, an example might be, nervously, they made their escape.

And finally, we also have apostrophe, which shows belonging.

So once again, it can do a couple of other things, but it's most common use is to show belonging.

So for example, Steven's heart raced.

So those are ones we use kind of every day, really.

But now let's look at some more advanced types of punctuation.

Ones that we don't see as much but can have quite a significant impact, particularly in our creative writing.

So here we have them on the board.

So for what purposes would you use these types of punctuation? So you've got semicolon, colon, ellipses and brackets.

So I'm gonna throw that one over to you.

If you're working independently, just jot down some ideas.

If you're in a classroom, have a discussion.

But what purpose do these pieces of punctuation serve? Quite a tricky, this one.

Keen tricky one, this one.

Keen to see how you get on.

So pause that video and then hit play when you would like to continue.

Okay, some lovely discussions taking place there.

I'm hearing that people don't use these ones as much, and perhaps, that's because we are not entirely sure what their purpose is.

So hopefully, we can fix that.

So with a semicolon, it separates two clauses.

So an example of that might be, he could run, the door was open.

So it separates two clauses in that context that are related.

So he is running only because the door is open.

And crucially, both of those clauses make sense on their own.

So that could be a really nice way that we could incorporate a semicolon into our creative writing.

We also have a colon, and a colon, and I heard lots of people say this introduces a list or an explanation.

So an example might be, he had few possessions, a bag, half a bottle of water and his gun.

So really nice to introduce a list in our creative writing.

Then we have an ellipses.

So an ellipses represents a pause or something left unsaid.

This can be really good for kind of suspense-based stories or stories that have a kind of tense element.

We could use this in the following way.

They turned the corner and saw it dot dot dot.

We don't what they saw.

It's left unsaid.

It kind of creates a really nice sense of mystery.

And finally, brackets.

Brackets include extra information in a sentence.

And crucially, that extra information must make sense independently.

So what we have here, we have the man, a nervous wreck, made his way out.

So really nice example of brackets in our creative writing.

And later on in this lesson, you are going to get an opportunity to include these.

So I'm really hoping that you can use these in your own creative writing later.

Okay, check for understanding for me then please.

I am writing a story and wish to finalise or finish a sentence by leaving something unsaid.

What would be an appropriate piece of punctuation to use? So pause the video, have a go, and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Yep, you've got it.

I'm hearing lots of people shouting out ellipses.

That is quite right.

It is an ellipses.

That leaves something unsaid in our story and that would be a really nice way to compliment that piece of writing.

So great job if you are able to pick up on that.

Okay, second check for understanding.

They're coming thick and fast now.

True or false.

The very best pieces of writing use a wide range of all punctuation types.

Is that true or false? Hit that pause button, have a go, and then push play when you would like to continue.

Okay, it is, of course, false.

It is false.

You don't have to use all of the punctuation types, but how can we justify that answer then? Is it a, great writing uses punctuation sparingly, using it only to accentuate what is already there or it is the words and not the punctuation, which makes great writing? Really tough one, this one.

Really keen to see how you get on.

Pause and then hit play when you would like to continue.

Yep, it is absolutely a, great writing uses punctuation sparingly, using it only to accentuate what is already there.

Remember what I said at the beginning.

The very best writing can use punctuation as effectively as language or vocabulary or language devices.

And it is how we use it as writers that makes the difference.

So we don't have to use loads and loads and loads of advanced punctuation for it to be good.

It's just how we use it that matters.

So well done if you picked up on that.

Okay, we've reached our first practise task of today's lesson and it is a piece of descriptive writing.

So you have an image on the board there, really nice image for descriptive writing.

There's so much you can work with there.

You've got the sky, you've got the kind of desert landscape, you've got these kind of grey clouds approaching.

We've got that vegetation.

This could be a really good opening for a story.

So your task is as follows, using the image as a starting point, write the opening to a story that includes each of the following.

And those things are a subordinate clause at the start of the sentence, separated by a comma, a subordinate clause at the end of a sentence, separated by comma, brackets to embed a clause, a semicolon, an exclamation mark, and an ellipsis.

There's an awful lot there, isn't there? And this is quite challenging.

I'd say this is a really challenging task, and it can be sometimes quite limiting, can't it? To have these rules.

But I think as we are practising and developing as writers, having these kind of at the forefront of our mind really help us practise and hone these skills.

So I am super excited to see how you get on with this, and I'm really excited to see how you approach this task.

So do hit that pause button, have a go, and then push play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, my goodness, that is a tricky task, isn't it? So I'm super impressed at how well you have approached that and the hard work that you've put into that.

So let's have a bit of time for a quick self-assessment.

So self-assess your work and ask yourself the following questions.

Did you include a subordinate clause at the start of the sentence, separated by a comma? Did you include a subordinate clause at the end of a sentence, separated by a comma? Did you include brackets to embed a clause? Did you include a semicolon? Did you include an exclamation mark? And did you include an ellipsis? If you included all of those things, then my goodness, that must be a fantastic piece of creative writing indeed.

However, if you've missed out any for any reason, then please have no fear, just jot that down as a target for next time.

In fact, in learning cycle two, you're gonna get a chance to do that again.

So you can definitely include that as a target for next time.

But well done on all your fantastic work in this task.

Okay, we've made it to learning cycle two, which is all about improving and editing and making things just a little bit better.

So let's get started.

So it is important that our punctuation isn't just accurate but effective.

We are going to look at how to make our punctuation as impactful as possible.

So remember, punctuation should be used sparingly and only to enhance our writing.

We don't want to include as much punctuation as possible.

We don't just want, like, a checklist where we kind of tick off the things that we're using.

This can distract away from the overall message of our writing and we should only use it if it's gonna have an impact.

So quick discussion question for you then please.

Look at your writing from practise task A.

Do you think you have used punctuation sparingly? Pause the video, have a quick self-reflection and then push play when you would like to continue.

Okay, fantastic approach to that task.

Remember, self-reflection is one of the best ways to improve your writing.

So it's really nice to hear people kind of saying, well, actually, I didn't use an ellipses or I've used quite a lot of semicolons but not a colon.

This is a really good frame of mind to be in for improving your work.

So, well done for doing that.

So, check for understanding for me then please.

Punctuation should be used blank to blank our writing.

What is the correct answer there? Hit that pause button, have a go, and then push play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, yeah, it is, of course, sparingly to enhance.

Okay, we do not want to use it liberally.

That would mean we're just kind of using it excessively without much thought.

We don't really want to use it considerately because we don't want to clarify our writing.

Punctuation isn't to clarify, it is to enhance.

And finally, we do not want it to be excessively done because that would imply, once again, that we're just kind of using it for the sake of it.

The very best use of punctuation is sparingly to enhance our writing.

So, well done if you picked up on that.

Okay, let's look at some student work then.

So Izzy has also completed task A.

So the very same task that you'd done, Izzy has done as well.

So Izzy said, "Sand, rained down from the heavens.

Grits greyed out the luminescent sky.

The undulating sand of the dunes looking almost welcoming, shining brightly against the shadows of the hills beyond.

Alone, isolated.

There is no place of refuge here.

The darkest of nights is coming.

Where shall I go? What shall I do? The sand is coming to get me." So a really interesting piece of writing there from Izzy.

I think she does some things really, really well, but I would say that can definitely be improved.

So I'm gonna ask you to do a bit of peer review on Izzy's work.

So what feedback would you give Izzy for her use of punctuation? So once again, have a discussion if you're in a classroom or jot down some ideas if you're working independently.

And then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, fantastic approach to that task.

And remember what I said before, kind of looking at other people's work with a critical eye will give you the kind of focus needed to kind of edit your own work as well.

So it's really, really good to get into the skill of kind of critically evaluating somebody else's work.

But when I look at Izzy's work, I would say the following things, you know, if Izzy wants to complete this work and improve this work, I would say she needs to do the following things.

So Izzy uses lots of exclamation marks throughout her piece of writing.

In fact, she uses six, which is far too many for a piece of writing of this size.

So they steadily lose their impact.

You know, we can only kind of take so many exclamation marks before we get kind of tired and we become kind of exhausted reading this piece of writing with all of those exclamation marks.

'Cause remember, exclamation marks convey emotion.

So we could set a target, EBI, an even better if, for Izzy that could be use exclamation marks sparingly to enhance the effect of your writing.

Again, Izzy uses two ellipses in quick succession.

Remember, ellipses are there to leave something unsaid.

I would say that this kind of really limits the effect of Izzy's work.

They don't really build much tension.

Izzy doesn't leave anything unsaid.

So she kind of puts the ellipsis and then immediately tells us that the sand is coming.

So I would say that that doesn't really work particularly well as an ellipsis.

So again, an EBI for Izzy might be use an ellipsis to represent a pause or something unsaid to build tension.

Okay, another area of focus for Izzy could be her use of commas.

So currently, Izzy isn't using commas correctly.

She said, "Sand, rain down from the heavens." This is not an appropriate use for a comma because it doesn't make sense.

So what we would say is commas can be used to separate main and subordinate clauses, that is an effective use of commas.

But Izzy isn't doing that here.

So currently, her writing really kind of lacks clarity and precision as a result.

So remember, clarity is all about intelligibility and clearness.

So without using commas correctly, we would say Izzy's writing kind of lacks that a little bit.

So the EBI here, the even better if, could be use commas correctly to separate a main clause from a subordinate clause.

Again, brackets.

Izzy doesn't use brackets to introduce this clause.

So currently the clause reads, "The undulating sand of the dunes looking almost welcoming, shining brightly against the shadows of the hills beyond." So this is actually a really nice piece of description with a really nice bit of extra detail about the sand dunes.

However, Izzy doesn't use brackets or any punctuation to introduce that extra clause.

And as a result, its impact, I would say, is really limited.

So Izzy doesn't use brackets to introduce this clause and as such, it doesn't make sense currently.

So another EBI for Izzy could be to use brackets accurately to introduce extra information in a sentence.

Okay, our third and final piece of feedback for Izzy would be around her tense.

So let's look at this here.

So the first bit, highlighted in green, says, "Sand rained down from the heavens.

Grit greyed out the luminescent sky." If we fast forward to later on in the piece of writing, the other green bit, it said, "The darkest of nights is coming." So this is quite challenging because the tense changes throughout this piece of writing.

At the beginning, it is written in the past tense before shifting to the present.

So this is quite confusing to us as a reader and kind of impedes on the impact of Izzy's work.

So again, another EBI would be to ensure that your piece of writing maintains a consistent tense throughout.

So keeping that tense consistent throughout a piece of writing.

Okay, so it is all over to you then.

So we have had a look at Izzy's work.

We have given Izzy some really concrete targets to work with.

And now, I would like you to put them into action.

So I would like you to rewrite Izzy's paragraph to incorporate the EBIs given, the even better ifs given.

And those even better ifs are ensure your piece of writing maintains a consistent tense throughout.

Use exclamation mark sparingly to enhance the effect of your writing.

Use an ellipsis to represent a pause or something unsaid or build tension.

Use brackets accurately to introduce extra information in a sentence and use commas correctly to separate a main clause from a subordinate clause.

So lots and lots for you to work with there.

Really excited to see how you get on with this and how you can take Izzy's fantastic paragraph and make it even more fantastic with those targets on the board in front of you.

So hit pause and then push play when you would like to see some feedback.

Okay, so that is by no means an easy task.

It is really difficult, isn't it? To take another student's work and to improve it with those targets.

But it is a great skill and it will allow you to look at your own work with fresh eyes as well.

So here is how you could have approached this task, and this extract now includes advanced punctuation much more impactfully.

So we could have said, "Sand rained down from the heavens, shards of grit greyed out the luminescent sky.

The undulating sand of the dunes mirrored the menacingly dark nimbus clouds of above.

The distant shadows of the hills were obliterated by the cascade of powder from above.

There's no safe place nor a place of refuge here.

The darkest of nights is coming.

The light of the earth dims further.

It is almost put out.

The sand seeks anyone still without shelter." So I'm sure you'll agree that is a much more impactful piece of writing there from Izzy.

And we have achieved that just by making our punctuation a little bit more impactful.

Remember, yours does not have to be identical to this, but if you have captured any of the essence of it than you have done a fantastic job indeed.

So, really well done.

Okay, we've made it then to the end of the lesson.

Well done for all of your hard work.

Well done for all of your application, learning about punctuation.

And I hope you found just how impactful it can be when done effectively.

So let's remember what we have learned today.

Accurate, basic punctuation improves clarity.

More advanced punctuation can heighten the impact of word choices.

Advanced punctuation, semicolons, exclamation marks, ellipses, should be used sparingly for clear effect.

And proofreading will help to avoid SPaG errors, spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.

So it has been a great pleasure to teach you on this lesson and I hope that you learned a little bit about how impactful punctuation can really be.

I really look forward to teaching you on another lesson in this sequence.

Thank you very much and goodbye.