Hello, my name is Ms. Grant.

I'm so glad that you have decided to learn with me.

Today, we're looking at the play "Macbeth" in the unit, "Lady Macbeth" as a Machiavellian villain.

We are going to be looking at some fantastic student writing today and working out why is so good and how we can build on those strengths.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

Let's get started.

So, by the end of today's lesson, you are going to be able to explain how a written response effectively presents an argument.

We're gonna look at some student work.

We're gonna look at the redrafts that they wrote following some feedback, and we're gonna think, right, can I evaluate how a written response really effectively presents an argument? There are gonna be some keywords which we're going to reference throughout today's lesson.

They are Machiavellian, compelling, methods, context, and feedback.

They're gonna help us achieve our objective.

Their definitions are going to come up one at a time on the next slide.

If you'd like to spend some more time with our keywords and their definitions, pause the video at the end of the next slide.

So our lesson outline for today, we're gonna start off by looking at compelling evidence, and we're gonna finish today's lesson by looking at what it means to include meaningful context in a written response.

Let's start off with compelling evidence.

Here is a student's main body paragraph answering the question, "To what extent is Lady Macbeth presented as a Machiavellian villain?" They wrote, "In Act 5, Scene 1, Lady Macbeth is portrayed as a character who has been driven insane by her own guilty conscience.

Lady Macbeth repeatedly attempts to wash her hands, for example, 'Out, damned spot; out, I say.

' The feeble use of imperatives shows how overwhelmed she feels.

The image of her bloody hands provides a powerful symbol of her guilt.

The repetition of 'Out,' shows how desperate she is and 'Damned,' links to the idea of Hell where she's worried she will go because she committed regicide." So that was their first draught of a main-body paragraph in answer to the question, "To what extent is Lady Macbeth presented as a Machiavellian villain?" Now, this student was given some feedback and redrafted their paragraph, and here is the redraft.

They wrote, "Lady Macbeth's guilty conscience in Act 5, Scene 1, reveals she's an isolated and frightened individual, not a Machiavel who is determined to maintain power at any cost like the tyrant Macbeth.

In this scene, Lady Macbeth repeatedly attempts to wash her hands, muttering, 'Out, damned spot out; out I say.

' The feeble use of imperatives here, and her husband's abandoning of her to the doctor and servant, contrast sharply to earlier in the play when Lady Macbeth is certain that Macbeth will be, 'What thou art promised,' and anticipates Macbeth's return to her, his dearest partner of greatness.

The strength of their relationship is also illustrated by her knowledge that Macbeth is not without ambition supported by soliloquy in which she desires unnatural qualities, 'Unsex me,' to support her husband's ambitions.

Thus, her breakdown in Act 5, Scene 1, is not surprising.

Shakespeare doesn't present her as a Machiavel, but a dutiful and now abandoned wife." So much stronger redraft.

A second draught of a main body paragraph in answer to the question, "To what extent does Shakespeare present Lady Macbeth as a Machiavellian villain?" I'd like you to discuss this question.

What do you think the feedback was? What feedback was the student given which enabled them to write such a successful redraft? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Lovely to see you applying your evaluative skills and really praising a very, very successful redraft.

Here's some ideas that you might have had.

Lots of you focused on their initial topic sentence, which read in Act 5, Scene 1, "Lady Macbeth is portrayed as a character who's been driven insane by her own guilty conscience," and had many people say, "Well, topic sentences should really link to the question." And you can see how the student took that feedback on board because then they wrote, "Lady Macbeth's guilty conscience.

In Act 5, Scene 1 reveals she's an isolated and frightened individual, not a Machiavel who is determined to maintain power at any cost like the tyrant Macbeth.

So they really successfully made their topic sentence link to the question.

Then lots of people looked at the section of analysis from this student, and they said, "Well, your evidence isn't really compelling.

You need to make it compelling by using multiple quotations to support your idea.

And instead of looking at single words, explore richer methods, and not just looking at single-word analysis, but actually thinking, what are all the different methods that Shakespeare uses to present this character?" So they took this feedback on board and let's see how they did it.

So you can see that they've now got multiple judicious quotations to build to a compelling idea.

They've got, "Out, damned spot; out, I say." They use that quotation originally, a very rich quotation, but they have supported that rich quotation with "What thou are promised," "Partner of greatness," "Without ambition," "Unsex me." So they've shown that they have a real depth of knowledge of the play, not just one quotation.

And they've looked at really rich methods.

So in their initial draught, they looked at the feeble use of imperatives, and that was a nice moment of analysis.

But they have now built on that by looking at contrast, the contrast between Lady Macbeth now in Act 5, Scene 1, and earlier in the play, they've looked at the presentation of the Macbeth's relationship, and they've also looked at a soliloquy.

So they've looked at much richer methods, not just looking at every single word in one quotation.

And finally, just as you had some brilliant ideas about how to improve their topic sentence, lots of people looked at their final summary sentence, which is a bit of analysis of this quotation, "Out, damned spot; out, I say," and your feedback was, "You need a summary sentence.

It should link back to the question, and it should summarise your ideas linking to the writer's intentions." And, again, you can see how this student took this onboard because they wrote, "Thus, her breakdown in Act 5, Scene 1 is not surprising, Shakespeare doesn't present her as a Machiavel, but a dutiful and now abandoned wife." Well done for looking at those two paragraphs side by side and really working out what feedback the student was given to make such a successful redraft.

So a check for understanding.

Which serves as the most compelling evidence, which responds to a question about Lady Macbeth's presentation as a Machiavellian villain.

You've got A, B, or C.

I would like you to pause the video, read through the responses, and select which you think is the correct answer.

Pause the video now.

Well done if you selected C.

This piece of analysis links to the question by using that word Machiavellianism.

It looks at building quotations together, we've got "Great, worthy, and dash," and it really, really supports or explores the idea of Lady Macbeth as a Machiavellian villain.

Now, I'd like you to read another student response, and the first thing we're going to do is offer three pieces of feedback.

Here is the student response to the same question.

"Lady Macbeth doesn't enjoy being monarch, saying in Act 3, Scene 2, 'Nought's had, all's spent.

' She describes her state of mind as one of 'Doubtful joy.

' The word 'Nought,' shows she thinks of the monarchy as nothing.

The word 'Spent,' shows how much she feels she has given up.

When Macbeth tells her, 'Banquo, and his fleance, lives,' Lady Macbeth asks 'What's to be done?' The question shows she is unsure." So, another first draught in response to the question, "To what extent is Lady Macbeth presented as a Machiavellian villain?" So the first thing I would like you to do is just offer three pieces of feedback.

Pause the video and discuss what your pieces of feedback would be now.

Some lovely discussions there.

Here are some ideas that you might have had.

So, again, lots of people looked at the first sentence, what should be the topic sentence and said, "Your topic sentence should link to the question.

And this one, currently, in its first draught form does not." People explored the evidence and the way in which the student analysed the evidence that they had selected and said, "Make your evidence more compelling by using quotations from across the play.

Instead of looking at single words, explore richer methods," which the student has not done in their first draught.

And finally, their final sentence is not a summary sentence, "And a summary sentence should explore writer's intentions." At the moment, it is not exploring Shakespeare's intentions.

It says, "The question shows she is unsure." Well done for looking really carefully at this paragraph and selecting some really powerful and precise feedback for this student.

Now the next thing I'd like you to do is I want you to rewrite and improve this response using the feedback you just gave this student.

So you can use this paragraph as your basis, but I want you to take your own feedback onboard and improve the paragraph.

Pause the video, rewrite, and improve the paragraph now.

Lovely to see people creating a redraft an improved version of this original paragraph.

Before we celebrate your work, I'd like to do some self-assessment.

So I'd like you to self-assess your work using the quotation, using, sorry, the questions below to support you.

Does the topic sentence link to the question? Have you used quotations from across the play? Does your analysis include exploration of methods? This could be language, but could also look at characterization, structure, or form.

And finally, do you have a final summary sentence that explores Shakespeare's intentions? Pause the video and self-assess your work now using the questions to guide you.

Lovely to see people editing and improving and refining their work.

Such an important part of the writing process.

Well done on creating an even better paragraph in response to the question, "To what extent does Shakespeare present Lady Macbeth as a Machiavellian villain?" We're going to move on to our second learning cycle now, and we're going to look at meaningful context.

What does it mean to include a meaningful context in an essay? Here is another student's main body paragraph answering the question, "To what extent is Lady Macbeth presented as a Machiavellian villain?" They wrote, "Undoubtedly, a Machiavellian character, Lady Macbeth questions her husband's courage and masculinity taunting him with, 'When you durst do it, then you were a man.

' Macbeth values masculinity and bravery, which was common at the time.

Indeed, we see this at the start of the play when Macbeth is praised as 'Noble, brave, and worthy,' after the battle.

Shakespeare emphasises Lady Macbeth's Machiavellianism here because she gets her own way, convincing her husband to murder his king in a treacherous way.

Despite Macbeth's prowess as a warrior, he's no match for the verbal sparring of his wife, which was very unusual for the time as women were inferior." So, again, a first draught in answer to this question.

Now the student was given some feedback and redrafted their paragraph, and here is their redraft.

"Undoubtedly, a Machiavellian character, Lady Macbeth questions her husband's courage and masculinity taunting him with, 'When you durst do it, then you were a man.

' She understands that, in the warrior-led culture of 11th Century Scotland, when the play is set, courage is a highly valued male attribute.

Indeed, we see this at the start of the play when Macbeth is praised as 'Noble, brave, and worthy,' after the battle.

Shakespeare emphasises Lady Macbeth Machiavellianism here because she distorts these chivalric ideas to her own agenda, convincing her husband to murder his king in a treacherous way.

Despite Macbeth's prowess as a warrior, he's no match for the verbal sparring of his wife.

The balance of power between man and wife here may seem surprising given the patriarchal society in which the play was set and written.

Lady Macbeth displays a ruthlessness which might be considered stereotypically unfeminine." So, a redrafted paragraph there.

Really nice to see the build the movement from that first draught to that second draught.

Now our job is to see, can we work out what was the feedback that this student was given, which enabled them to write such a successful redraft? Pause the video and discuss this question now.

Lovely to hear people applying their evaluative skills to student work and praising what is excellent in this redraft.

Here's some ideas that you might have had.

So, lots of people looked at this phrase, the student used, "Looking at Macbeth, values masculinity and bravery, which was common at the time." And the feedback at the time, is a really vague statement.

"So be specific about when the play was set.

Develop your exploration of Macbeth's values, anchoring your ideas in an exploration of the chivalric code," an important piece of context to understand the character of Macbeth.

Now, this student really took the feedback on board and you can see that they have included much more specific context to bolster their ideas.

They've looked at the warrior-led culture of 11th-century Scotland when the play is set.

Courage is a highly-valued male attribute.

So not just saying at the time, but being very clear about when the play is set.

And then, looking at the idea of these chivalric ideals, which Lady Macbeth distorts, again, anchoring their ideas in a very specific context.

Now, lots of you also looked at this moment in the paragraph where the student explored the idea of women's supposed inferiority in Jacobi in England.

But, again, the student used the phrase, "At the time," and you said, "Look, this is vague.

You cannot use 'At the time,' twice in one paragraph or at all, really in a paragraph.

You've got to be specific about when the play was first performed and develop your exploration of their relationship by using keywords like 'Hierarchy and patriarchy.

' And, again, we know that this student really took that feedback onboard because they developed their analysis of the relationship between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth too.

The balance of power between man and wife here may seem surprising given the patriarchal society in which the play was set and written.

Lady Macbeth displays a ruthlessness that might be considered stereotypically unfeminine." So, those two sentences there really show a specific understanding of the play's first audiences and when the play is set.

And how the patriarchal society helps us to understand the perhaps unusual relationship between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth.

A check for understanding.

I'd like you to identify which serves as the most meaningful context, which responds to a question about Lady Macbeth's presentation as a Machiavellian villain.

You've got three choices, A, B, or C.

You're gonna pause the video, read through each, and then select which you think has the most meaningful context, which responds to the question.

Pause the video and select your response now.

Well done if you selected B.

We can see here that this student uses that phrase for the play's first Jacobean audiences, and then anchors that in some of the common Jacobean beliefs about men and women.

Now, I'd like you to read another student response and offer two pieces of feedback.

Here is the student response.

"Shakespeare uses Act 3, Scene 4, to signal a change in the Macbeth's relationship, a change which signals it is Macbeth, who is prepared to maintain power at any cost and is thus the Machiavel, not Lady Macbeth.

In this scene, Lady Macbeth tries to emasculate Macbeth asking, 'Are you a man?' when he responds to Banquo's Ghost.

She describes Macbeth hallucination as a 'Painting and air-drawn,' saying, 'He looks on a stool.

' Her emasculation will be very shocking for the time.

Significantly, Macbeth does not respond to these taunts like he did in Act 1, Scene 7.

Instead, the scene ends with him deciding to go and see the witches.

Again, this is very shocking for the time and the audience." So I really like there the students' embedded quotations.

I like that compelling evidence, but we're gonna focus our pieces of feedback on their use of context.

So I would like you to pause the video, read the student response, reflect on it, and offer two pieces of feedback.

Pause the video, and think about your piece of feedback now.

A lovely discussion there, showing off your knowledge of what it means to include meaningful context in a paragraph.

Here are some ideas you might have had.

So lots of you focused on the final sentence.

Her emasculation would be very shocking for the time and offered this bit of feedback.

"Develop your exploration of context by examining the strict Jacobean hierarchy." So moving that sentence from the vague to the specific would make it much stronger.

And I completely agree.

And then looking at the final bit of the paragraph, instead, the scene ends with him deciding to go and see the witches, again, this is very shocking for the time and the audience.

And I really liked how lots of you said, "Develop your exploration of context, but you gave a specific example.

Look at Jacobean beliefs about witchcraft," showing your own fantastic contextual knowledge.

So with these pieces of feedback in your mind, I would like you to rewrite and improve the response below.

You're going to use this as your basis, but using that really nice precise feedback that you gave the student, see if you can improve the response.

Pause the video, rewrite, and improve the response now.

Some beautiful writing there, showing off your fantastic contextual knowledge and how you are able to tie it to the text.

Before we celebrate your work, I'd like you to self-assess using the questions below to support you.

Have you devoted time in your response to look at context? Have you included phrases like "First Jacobean audiences and or 11th-century Scotland? Have you avoided vague statements like, "At the time?" I'd like you to pause the video now and reread your response, checking it against these self-assessment questions.

Pause the video now.

Fantastic to see people looking at their responses and holding themselves to account.

Well done for a really powerful bit of writing where you have included meaningful context.

In summary, topic sentences need to be clear and linked to the question.

Judicious quotations from the text are used to create compelling arguments.

Writer's methods should be explored without always relying on single-word analysis.

And context can be used to develop arguments.

I've so enjoyed looking at student work with you and thinking about what makes really successful feedback, what makes really successful redrafting? I look forward to seeing you next time.