Hello there.

Welcome to today's lesson.

My name's Mr. Barnsley, and it's fantastic to see you today.

Okay, we're gonna be continuing working through some lessons based on the Eduqas Poetry anthology.

And today we're gonna be writing excellent comparative responses.

So make sure you have got your anthology to hand and let's get started.

So our outcome today, by the end of the lesson, you are gonna be able to write a written response which meets our success criteria.

So there are three key words.

The first two, insightful and concise, are gonna be the types of writing we're gonna be aiming for.

We want to be perceptive.

We want to show a deep and personal understanding of something.

That means we're gonna be insightful.

But we also want to use as few words as possible to express as much as possible.

We're gonna try and be concise.

And we're also gonna use some comparative connectives.

And these are words that indicate a relationship between things because of course, we're comparing.

So let's keep an eye out for some of those in today's lesson.

So two learning cycles in today's lesson.

First, we're gonna be understanding our success criteria, really thinking about what success might look like in our comparative essays.

And then we're gonna move on to writing our own response.

So let's start by making sure we understand the success criteria of today's writing.

So you're gonna read parts of a model comparison answer, and this compares "Dulce et Decorum Est,", which was the given poem for the question to "The Soldier," which is the poem that the student chose.

The question was about war and how it's been presented in the poems. So let's start by having a think then.

What are you expecting to see in this model answer? What might interesting and insightful piece of analytical writing look like? Why don't you pause the video, and if you've got a partner, you can discuss this with them.

Or if you're working by yourself, you can just think through this independently.

All right, pause the video, have a think about these questions, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back, some fantastic discussion there.

Well done.

So we're gonna look to see if you can see any of these success criteria that you were talking through then.

And first, we're gonna do this by reading the first paragraph of a model student response.

They wrote, "Both Owen and Brooke present the experience of war, or the imagined experience of war, as a life-altering one.

However, the poets have understandably different perspectives.

Whilst Brooke's poem exemplifies the optimistic pre-World War I attitude of Britain, Owen's reflects the brutal reality of war that only began to emerge when soldiers had started to return home, dismissed with shell shock and life-changing injuries.

These poems represent opposite ends of the spectrum of perspectives of war in the early 20th century, which makes for an interesting comparison on the poets' depictions of war." All right, let's have a think then.

What argument is this student making? Can you identify any words which show that they're gonna be comparing in their response? Okay, let's pause the video.

And if you've got a partner, you can think through this, work through these questions together.

Otherwise you can do this independently.

All right, pause the video, over to you, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

Well done if you said something similar to this.

"The first sentence really effectively summarises the student's main argument.

That though maybe both of these poems are about a similar theme, they're about war.

We know that they're gonna have very contrasting perspectives." 'Cause we know that Brooke himself didn't actually experience war.

He died before he had chance to join and fight.

Whereas Owen had some incredibly traumatic experiences in the war zones, in conflict, in World War I.

Now look how frequently the student used comparative connectives like the ones highlighted.

It really shows how the comparison is the forefront of their instruction.

Both, however, different, whilst, opposite, comparison.

Not all of those are comparative connectors, but all of those really highlight just how important comparison is going to be in this response.

All right, let's check to see how we're getting on then, shall we? What do you need to do in your introduction when you write your own response? Is it A, make your argument clear by using a thesis statement? Is it B, explain who the speakers are in both poems and how this links the poet's life? Is it C, use comparative connectives? Have a think.

Press play when you have selected your response.

Well done if you said A, that you're gonna need a thesis statement, well, which really summarises your clear overarching argument.

But well done if you also said C, we should have some comparative connectives in that introduction to really signpost that you are gonna be comparing.

All right, I'd like to look at the first sentence of each of the paragraphs following the introduction in the model answer.

How does the student link their ideas together? How do they move from analysing one poem to the next? Pause, have a look at this model answer.

It's in your additional materials if you need it.

So make sure you've got a copy of it in front of you.

But have a look.

How is the student linking ideas together? How are they moving from analysing one poem to the next? All right, pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you spotted some of the similar things to what the Oak pupils spotted then, shall we? Well, Jun said, "I noticed that though the student explores the poem separately, they still make little references to the other poem if there is a point of comparison to be made." And Jacob said, "Well, I noticed that the student uses connectives like 'however' and 'furthermore' to link ideas together, focusing on the similarities between the poems to move their analysis between the two." All right, well done if you spotted anything like that.

Of course, you might have also spotted other ways that the student made good connections between the poems. All right, let's read the next paragraph, shall we? "So we see Brooke's patriotism most poignantly in the latter half of the first stanza, where Brooke personifies England, describing her as a mother figure who has 'borne, shaped, made aware.

' Brooke describes the gifts of freedom and beauty that England has bestowed upon him.

'Her flowers to love, her ways to roam,' and describes himself as a physical and spiritual extension of his country, which he's very evidently very devoted to.

Here, Brooke's gratitude for his country is evident.

We can infer that his gratitude may motivate his extreme patriotism and consequent willingness to die for his country." All right, let's reflect on what we've just read then, shall we? Discuss where has this student included analysis in their response? And what do you notice about their analysis? Pause the video.

If you've got a partner, you can discuss these questions with them.

But if you're working by yourself, don't worry.

You can make a few notes, or just think through this independently.

All right, pause the video, over to you.

Give this a go and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

Let's see what you said about this paragraph then, shall we? Well, Sofia said that she noticed that the student peppered their analysis throughout.

They tend to focus on bigger methods like Brooke's use of personification.

So you could see this analysis and the focus on different methods that the author has used kind of run throughout that paragraph.

But really there's a focus on these bigger main methods that Brooke has used.

Aisha said, "In the whole response, the student has used a range of quotations that are short and they are snappy.

This helps show that they have a solid understanding of the whole poem.

They don't, however, spend much time on each quotation.

They seem to be aiming to cover as much of the poem as possible." So you notice they're not trying to say seven or eight, nine different things about one quote, okay? They say some really interesting analysis and then they move on.

True or false then.

You cannot use close-text analysis in a comparative response.

Do you think that's true? Or do you think that's false? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Well done if you said that was false.

Now let's justify that.

Is it A, you should only discuss bigger whole poem methods.

This will show your understanding of the poem as a whole.

Or is it B, that it's easier to start focusing on bigger methods, but you can also analyse one word of it if is of interest to you.

Which do you think feels like the most suitable justification there? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to find out the correct response.

Yeah, well done if you said B.

I think of course, we want to do some close level response, but it might be easy to look at those bigger methods that are jumping out on the page and then we can start to zoom in on some of those keywords if we think there's something really interesting to say about it.

All right, now it's time for us to read another paragraph.

This one includes some really useful context.

So "Owen was discharged from service in 1917 with shell shock, PTSD.

At the time, his friend, Siegfried Sassoon, recommended that he use poetry as a cathartic tool.

Owen took his friend's advice, stating 'all a poet can do today is warn.

' Perhaps Owen felt it was his duty to tell the truth about war and warn those at home who had been deceived by the glamorised depictions of war in the propaganda about what war was truly like.

This warning, or condemnation, is most evident at the end of the poem, where Owen refers to the 'Dulce et Decorum Est' saying as an 'old lie,' suggesting that he feels that soldiers have been deceived and misled by the propaganda." All right, let's think about what this paragraph has done well.

What do you notice about the way in which context has been used? Pause, have a think, have a discuss, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Well done if you said something similar to this, that the context really strengthens the argument, it develops it further and it does that because it is always relevant and specific to the arguments that the pupil is making.

Well done if you spotted that.

All right, let's check, see how we're getting on then.

How will you ensure that you are using context meaningfully? Will you A, make sure it's relevant? B, make sure you use it at the end of your argument? C, make sure it is specific? Or D, make sure you've included facts that other students may not know? What do you think? Over to you.

Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Well done if you said A and C.

All context should be relevant and specific.

You don't want to put it all at the end of your argument.

You don't want to have it as a separate paragraph.

It needs to be peppered throughout your response, really strengthening, developing all of your analysis.

And yeah, great if you've got some really interesting facts.

But ultimately the important thing here is that the context supports your argument.

So it doesn't have to be unique, it doesn't have to be special.

You don't have to be the only person who's used that, as long as the context that you are using is developing your ideas further.

All right, over to you now for our first task in today's lesson.

Using what you've learned from looking at the sections of the model response, I want you to write your own success criteria for producing a convincing and insightful comparative response.

Things I want you to consider as you create your success criteria.

How will you make your essay cohesive? How will you tie ideas together? How will you make your introduction clear and engaging? How will you discuss and interrogate your evidence? How will you include context in a meaningful way? How will you demonstrate your understanding of how the poems are structured? And how will you keep comparison at the heart of your response? All right, those questions should really help you come up with a concrete success criteria that you are gonna try and aim to meet in the second part of today's lesson.

So pause the video, have a think, create the success criteria, and press play when you're ready to move on.

Welcome back, really great work there.

And a special well done to everyone who kept referring back to those questions to really help them make sure they thought in detail about this success criteria.

I want to share with you a success criteria that I think is gonna be really helpful for you in the second part of today's lesson.

You might want to compare yours to mine.

So I said that you want to be clear and concise, particularly in your thesis statement.

You want to use comparative connective to link ideas together, and explore connections between poems. You want your quotations to be signposted with whereabouts they are in the poem, where they're taken from, eg.

in the final stanza.

You might want to focus your analysis on bigger methods and the effects of these methods on you, the reader.

You also might want to explore an exploration of how contextual factors may inform our understanding of the poems. Why don't you now pause the video and compare your success criteria to mine.

See if there's anything from mine you'd like to add to yours.

They're gonna be really, really helpful as we continue to write our responses in the second half of today's lesson.

All right, pause the video, over to you, and then press play when you're ready to continue.

All right, fantastic.

It's time for us now to write our own response.

So here's the question that we're gonna be writing a response to.

"In 'London,' the poet explores ideas about power.

Choose one of the poem from the anthology that also explores power.

Compare the presentation of power in 'London' to the presentation of power in your chosen poem." Let's quickly remind ourselves which other poems in the anthology are about power.

Pause the video, have a quick think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, you might have had "Hawk Roosting," "Living Space," or "Ozymandias." So when you have a chosen a poem for comparison, it's really important to know why you've chosen it.

This shows that you understand the similarities and/or differences between the poems that you're gonna analyse.

Now over to you to discuss which poem you will be comparing to "London" and why.

I really want you to explain the ideas you have.

So you might say which ways the poems are similar, what differences there are between the poems, and why that might make an interesting comparison.

And really overall, why did you think it'd be interesting to compare these two poems? So if you have a partner, now would be a great time to practise saying these things out loud.

Or don't worry if you're working by yourself, you could just make a few notes.

All right, pause the video, and think about your justification for choosing your chosen poem.

Welcome back.

I heard some really great justifications there.

I really liked it when people were also looking at poems that had differences because I think differences can often create a really interesting comparison.

So well done if you select poems that might have been similar in theme, but had some quite clear differences to them.

All right, before we get started with our writing, let's remind ourselves one more time.

What does convincing and insightful comparative responses look like? Can you remember your success criteria from earlier without looking at it? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you are ready to continue.

Welcome back.

Well done if you said anything similar to what you can see on screen.

This is the success criteria I shared with you earlier.

All right, let's do a quick check before we get writing.

Which of the following does not need to be included in a comparative response? Is it A, a detailed overview of the anthology and its themes? Is it B, a clear and concise thesis statement? Is it C, context used to enhance or inform our understanding of the poem? Or is it D, comparative connectives to link ideas together and show connections between poems? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Of course, well done if you said A.

We don't need a detailed overview all of the themes, we don't need to talk about all of them.

We don't need to mention more than two poems, okay? Just the given poem and your chosen poem.

Right, it's over to you now to write your response to the question below.

"In 'London,' the poet explores ideas about power.

Choose one other poem from the anthology that also explores power and compare the presentation of power in 'London' to the presentation of power in your chosen poem." In your response, you should include the following.

Clear and concise thesis statement, comparative connectives, really signpost where your quotations are from.

Focus on those big methods, but you can zoom in on keywords if you want.

And of course, explore contextual factors and think about how they may inform our understanding of the poem.

All right, over to you.

Best of luck.

I know you can do this.

I know you can do a really, really great job with this.

Just think really carefully about what are the most interesting points you can make.

All right, pause the video, and press play when you think you are done.

Welcome back.

Really great effort on that.

And I was super pleased to see so many of you checking your spelling, punctuation, and grammar, before you put your pen down.

I love it when people do that second and final check.

All right, if you've got a partner now, you might want to swap your response with a peer, otherwise you can do this as some self-assessment.

I want you to use the coaching questions below to give your partner or yourself a What Went Well.

Something that you've done extremely well.

Or an Even Better If, something that you could work on and improve your work next time.

So some questions you could think about.

Have they included a clear and concise thesis statement? Have they used comparative connective to link ideas together? Have they signedposted quotations with where they appear in the poem? Have they focused their analysis on bigger methods? And have they explored how contextual factors may inform our understanding of the poems? All right, pause the video, give your partner some feedback, or do some self-reflection.

Over to you.

Okay, welcome back.

That's it.

We've reached the end of today's lesson.

You've done a fantastic job writing about two poems. And writing in a comparative way can feel really challenging.

So really well done for all the hard work you put in today.

On the screen, you can see a summary of what we've learned.

Let's quickly go through this together to make sure we've solidified it in our mind.

So we know that a good analytical response begins with a clear and concise thesis statement.

We know comparative connectives can be used to link ideas together and explore connections between poems. We know that quotations can be signposted with where they appear in the poem.

We know that analysis can focus on bigger methods and then the effects of these methods.

And we know that context should be used to support our arguments.

All right, great work today.

Thank you so much for joining me and I hope to see you in one of our lessons soon.

Bye bye.