Hello, my name is Ms. Grant.

I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me today.

We're in our modern text unit and our modern text is "Leave Taking." We're looking at the power of education.

Today, we're going to look at some fantastic written responses and we're gonna think, "Well, why is the evidence in these responses? Why is it so compelling? Why is it so strong? What have they done with their references to "Leave Taking" that draw all their ideas together and prove their point so well?" And we're also going to look at weaving in context, which is something I know I found quite difficult when I first started writing analytical essays.

And so, I'm really pleased to be able to look at this skill with you today and really unpack what it means to weave context into your response.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

I can't wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you're going to be able to explain how written response effectively presents an argument.

We're gonna look at lots of different models.

We're gonna look at students who have written good first draughts and even better second draughts.

And we're gonna think, "Well, how did they do that? What skills did they need in order to do that? And how can I apply those skills to my own writing?" There are some key words which are gonna help unlock our learning today, and they are catalyst, naturalisation, Windrush scandal, weave, and colonialism.

Let's look at catalyst first.

So a catalyst is something that causes a change or event to occur.

So sometimes we say Brod is a catalyst for Viv's questioning of the education system.

Naturalisation.

This is a process by which someone becomes a citizen of a country which they were not born in.

So Brod is very angry in scene two, that he has to complete a naturalisation process because he has lived in Britain for over 30 years, but he still has to pay to become a citizen.

Windrush scandal.

This is when many citizens who had migrated to Britain between 1948 and 1973 were facing deportation under a discriminatory immigration system.

Now, "Leave Taking" was written well before the Windrush scandal, but in Pinnock's introduction, she talks about Brod's words, being angry about having to seek naturalisation, echoing some of the words of the Windrush victims 30 years later.

Weave, now in relation to context, this is when you embed it into paragraphs rather than including it as a series of isolated facts.

And this was a really important verb for me to understand the verb weave in terms of writing analytical essays.

It really helped me develop my analysis in terms of including context.

So I'm looking forward to looking at what that verb means with you today.

And colonialism, this is when a country establishes control over another country, exploiting it for economic gain, and obviously Pinnock in "Leave Taking" looks at the idea that Britain colonised Jamaica and the impact, the legacy that has had on the characters in the play.

So these key words are gonna be referenced throughout and they're gonna help us achieve our objective today.

Our lesson outline.

So first of all, we're gonna start looking at compelling evidence, what makes really strong evidence, and secondly, we're gonna look at weaving context into paragraphs.

So by the end of this lesson, you're gonna analyse some really interesting responses to "Leave Taking" and you're going to be able to apply that analysis to your own writing so you will understand how to include compelling evidence and weave context into your own work.

Let's start off with compelling evidence.

So you are going to evaluate, improve responses to this question in today's lesson.

How does Pinnock explore ideas around education? So really interesting question in relation to "Leave Taking." Now here are Jacob's annotations, that's the first step.

Whenever you get an essay question, you annotate it, so you've got a really secure understanding of what you're being asked to do.

And he annotates how and he thinks, "Well, I need to explore Pinnock's dramatic methods." And he underlines education, says, "Well, I need to explore this theme." So Jacob, he knows so much about "Leave Taking" just like you do, but he knows that for this particular essay, he needs to focus on ideas of education and all of the dramatic methods that Pinnock uses in order to explore this theme.

Now, Jacob develops his annotations with some questions and he asks, "What methods and quotations best help me understand ideas around education and what are the key plot points which help me understand this theme? What's Pinnock's viewpoint?" So again, just developing those annotations.

So before he starts doing his planning, he can really, really think of all the different ideas that he might want to include in that plan.

Now, I'd like you to discuss how would you answer Jacob's questions? He's got them on his annotations on the question, how would you answer Jacob's questions? So I'd like you to pause the video and think which methods and quotations best help me understand ideas around education and what are the key plot points which help me understand this theme? What's Pinnock's viewpoint? So pause the video and discuss this question now.

Some fantastic discussions there showing off your brilliant knowledge of the play.

And it was really, really nice to hear that all the ideas were really, really focused on education.

So making sure that you're not just listening everything you know about the play, but actually thinking, "Well, what essay question have I been asked?" Now, here's some ideas that you might have had.

So what methods and quotations best help me understand ideas around education? Well, the contrast of formal and informal education.

So Viv's formal education and Del's formal education in school and then their informal education, particularly Del's with Mai.

And this key quotation, which I would often return to in lots of different essays about "Leave Taking," which is, "No matter how hard I search for myself in them books, I'm never there," which Viv says to Del in scene five when she has left one of her A level exams. And Enid, this is in scene two, she says, "Shakespeare," she repeats Shakespeare after Viv has said it herself as she's studying while Enid cleans waiting for the pasta to come.

And Viv says, "It's not a magic spell." And I really like this metaphor in terms of looking at the idea of transformative powers of education.

So, those are just some of the ideas you might have had.

You might have different key quotations, ones that you want to rely on when you're looking at this question.

But these are just some ideas that you might have pulled out from the play.

Now, what about the key plot points and Pinnock's viewpoint? Well, key plot point about education, Viv skipping an A level exam and then at the end of the play, the end of her character arc studying black studies at university.

I had lots of people say, "Well this is really key for me in order to understand what Pinnock thinks about education, and it also enables me to look at a character over a whole text." And Pinnock explores what is valued both inside and outside a formal educational setting.

So because she's got these two sisters contrasting in lots of ways, there's some similarities, she's able to look at their experiences with formal and informal education and consider what is valued inside and outside a formal setting.

So again, just some ideas that you might have had, but you might have a very different argument thesis that you want to pursue in your essay and that is absolutely fine.

So Jacob completes his planning and draughts a main body paragraph.

So now we're gonna see some of Jacob's writing after he's done that great planning process and done his first draught.

So he writes, "In scene two, there is dialogue between Viv, Enid, and Brod.

The scene starts with Enid cleaning and repeating, 'Out, out damn spot,' and 'Shakespeare,' because that's what Viv is studying.

Later, Brod asked Viv if she knows who Nanny of the Maroons is and Viv says she's 'Never heard of her.

' The word 'never' shows she has not come across this important historical figure before." So this is Jacob's first draught.

Now, Lucas reads through this first draught and he gives two pieces of feedback.

And the first is your topic sentence should link to the question.

So Jacob has written, "In scene two, there is dialogue between Viv, Enid, and Brod." He doesn't mention the word education.

I can't quite see what question he's answering.

And so I agree with Lucas's piece of feedback, your topic sentence should link to the question.

And his second piece of feedback, Lucas's second piece of feedback is references to the text should link to your topic sentence, come from across the play, and be rich in methods.

And you can see that these quotations at the moment, they don't come from across the play.

They're all from scene two.

And the method that Jacob has looked at is the word "never," which is maybe not the richest method that he could look at.

So it's good that Jacob's done a first draught.

It's great that he's got some feedback from Lucas, really, really clear feedback.

And now we're gonna see Jacob do his second draught.

So I'd like you to watch Jacob respond to Lucas's first piece of feedback, which was your topic sentence should link to the question.

So we have his first draught, which is in scene two.

There's dialogue between Viv, Enid, and Brod.

And Jacob's second draught says that "Pinnock uses scene two to show that Brod serves as a catalyst for Viv's rejection of the formal education system." And you can see how Jacob has really lifted his response by saying, "Pinnock uses scene two," understanding that this play has been crafted.

We've got focus on Brod as a catalyst.

So using one of those key words and then we know what the question is, the essay question is because this time Jacob has actually used the word education, Viv's rejection of the formal education system.

So it's a great redraft and redrafting is of course such an important part of being a student of English.

Now, let's watch Jacob respond to Lucas's second piece of feedback, which was, "References to the text should link to your topic sentence, come from across the play, and be rich in methods." And we can see Jacob's first draught where he was looking at the idea of Enid cleaning, the interaction of that between Brod and Viv about Nanny of the Maroons, and his focus on the word "never." So let's look at his redraft given Lucas's feedback.

He wrote, "Brod's impact on Viv is foreshadowed in scene one in which Viv expresses a desire to go to the West Indies because 'Uncle Brod says you don't know who you are 'less you've been there.

' Brod's influences developed in scene two when Pinnock contrasts the characters of Enid and Brod.

In response to Enid calling her children 'English girls,' Brod reminds her that 'These girls got Caribbean souls.

' His opinions influence Viv who begins to express her frustration that she spends her life 'bent over books that have nothing to do with me,' scene four.

Whilst Viv knows Rupert Brooke's poems off by heart, the connection and faith in England expressed in this World War I poet's work contrasts with Viv and Brod's feelings about how England treats and respects her as a Black British citizen." So there's Jacob's redraft.

Now, I'd like you to discuss how has Jacob met Lucas's feedback? So is a successful redraft and I want you to really pinpoint well how has Jacob met Lucas's feedback? So pause the video and discuss this question now.

Some really beautiful discussions there.

And if you are able to evaluate someone, someone else's work so successfully as you just did, then you will definitely be able to apply those evaluative skills to your own work and make sure that when you were drafting and redrafting you're holding yourself to a fantastic standard just like Jacob has here.

So some ideas that you might have had that I heard people talking about, well there was a big focus on the idea of rich methods.

So we've got foreshadows.

Brod's influence is developed, Pinnock contrasts the two characters, contrasts again at the end of that paragraph.

So richer methods are explored, for example, foreshadowing and contrast rather than just looking at that word "never." People also notice that in this paragraph Jacobs referred to scene one, scene two, and scene four.

So evidence is selected from a range of scenes rather than just one.

And for me, the idea that you would select evidence from across a text in order to prove your topic sentence, that was the sort of light bulb moment for me where I thought, "Ah, I thought that you would just focus on one moment and really explore in detail." But actually what you're meant to do is link these moments together to provide compelling evidence.

And that really, really helped me in terms of my, in lifting my analytical writing and making it much, much better.

So a check for understanding, so that we really understand well what does it mean to include compelling evidence? Because if you really understand it, you'll be able to do it in your own work.

So we've got Aisha and Alex, they've both written some responses to the question about education.

I'd like you to read through both responses and then I'd like you to select, well, who has written with the most compelling evidence.

So pause the video, read through both responses, and then select which student you think has written with the most compelling evidence.

Pause the video now.

Well done for reading through both of those people's works.

Really, really carefully and congratulations if you selected Alex.

Alex has included the most compelling evidence.

And you can see here that at the beginning he said, "Pinnock uses a reference to Shakespeare to contrast." So again, realising that Pinnock has crafted a character.

And then we've got this rich method contrast, Viv and Enid's assessment of education.

And we've got this quotation from scene two that Alex has looked at, but then he looks at the idea that this contrast is developed in scene three with Enid's blunt statement.

So again, looking at really rich methods and looking at quotations from across the text.

And that is why Alex has got such compelling evidence.

Aisha has focused on a quotation.

She's got references in there, which is of course really important, but she has not got references from across the text and she hasn't looked at really, really rich methods.

She's just sort of explained what the quote means, rather than thinking, "Well how does this help me understand education, what Pinnock is saying about education?" So Alex has got the most compelling evidence in this instance.

Now, I would like you to rewrite and improve another people's response using Lucas's feedback to support you.

We've got the same question, how does Pinnock explore ideas around education? And we've got a paragraph here which reads, "The play ends in an interesting way for Del.

Del finds resolution in being an obeah woman.

She passes Mai's exams and no longer thinks of obeah as 'mumbo jumbo.

' She also tells her mother that she knows what her father did to her mother because Brod told her as 'He wants me to know who I am.

' So she has had lots of informal education since the start of scene one, which has had a big effect on her." So this is a good first draught, some solid ideas, but Lucas's feedback still stands that firstly the topic sentence should link to the question.

And secondly, that the references to the text should link to the topic sentence come from across the play and be rich in methods.

So I would like you to rewrite and improve another people's response using Lucas's feedback to support you.

Get your pen, paper, whatever you are writing on, and get ready to show off your ability to include compelling evidence in a paragraph.

Pause the video and complete the task now.

Welcome back after completing a really successful redraft, applying all your knowledge of what it means to include compelling evidence into your paragraph and making sure that you were meeting those really clear bits of feedback that we have from Lucas, just like Jacob did earlier.

It was lovely to see that the first step most people took was to get their copy of "Leave Taking," 'cause that is such an important part when you are writing about a text that it should be next to you, that you can refer to it, that you can explore it, that you can reread sections of it.

So before we celebrate your work, we're gonna do a little bit of self-assessment.

So I'd like you to self-assess your work using the questions below to support you.

So does your topic sentence link to the question? For example, using the word education because that is after all the question that we are answering today.

Have you used quotations from across the play? And that should be quite easy for you to notice 'cause you'll see if you've referenced scene one, scene two, scene three, et cetera, all the way up to scene eight.

You don't need to reference all of the scenes of course, but you want more than just one scene in your paragraph.

Have you explored Pinnock's dramatic methods? So maybe you've looked at contrast, foreshadowing, characterization, development, but just making sure that you have got some analysis of dramatic methods in there.

So now, you've got your three questions.

I'd like you to pause the video and self-assess your paragraph, read through, use those questions to guide you to make sure that your second draught is as best as it can be.

Pause the video and self-assess now.

Well done for completing such a careful self-assessment.

I saw some people including the word education in their topic sentence, just making sure that those references came from across the play.

And then a few people thinking, "Oh, actually, I can see a dramatic method in here which I didn't identify, and actually I want to explore that now." So editing such an important part of the writing process, really nice to see you approaching that with such energy and drive.

So we're gonna move on to our second learning cycle now.

So we've realised how to include compelling evidence, but an important part of an analytical essay is also weaving context into paragraphs.

And so, now, we're going to look at this skill and you're gonna be able to combine them both together, compelling evidence and weaving context in to you have some fantastic analytical writing.

So Jun also answered this question, how does clinic explore ideas around education? And before writing, he thought about what context to include.

So he knows he needs to include context.

So really nice part of the planning process is think, "Well, what context would actually be relevant for this question? Let me have a think." So I'd like you to discuss all of your fantastic contextual knowledge.

What context do you think might be appropriate if you were answering this question? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

So just as in learning cycle one, you showed off your fantastic knowledge of the text by quoting or making reference to particular moments, particular scenes.

Also, really nice to hear that you've got some great contextual knowledge in order to ground your ideas and really think, "Well what were Pinnock's intentions when she was writing this play? Here are some ideas that you might have had.

So Pinnock's parents' generation, and Pinnock says this in her introduction, were indoctrinated by colonialist education that lionised celebrated all things British and Pinnock explores this through the character of Enid and her pride in her "English girls." The character abroad explores the legacy of colonialism on Jamaica.

He says in scene two, "An' why they poor? Because of colonialism." So, it was really nice to see people thinking about an aspect of context and then tying it to a moment in the text.

Viv and Del are "this new breed of Black British woman." So again, this is from Pinnock's introduction.

Really nice to hear people using Pinnock's own words in order to understand the text.

So Pinnock explores the educational experience of children of West Indian migrants who relocated to England post World War II.

So she's really interested in Viv and Del's experiences.

Viv's feelings are impacted by the Eurocentric education system.

So that's the most important, the kind of central conflict, for the character of Viv, her conflict with the education system where she's incredibly successful, but she also does not see herself reflected in any anyway.

And Pinnock says Brod's anger at having to become a naturalised citizen "echo words spoken 30 years later by victims of the 2018 Windrush scandal." And people return to the key words of this lesson to think about the idea that Brod in scene two, he's very angry that he had to pay to become a citizen of Britain despite the fact, he says, "I've lived on this blasted estate for over 30 years and he's been incredibly patriotic." He's thought of himself as a British citizen, and Pinnock says, "Well, these words echo what was happening in 2018 during the Windrush scandal." So all of these ideas could be really helpful in terms of an essay on education.

And it's really good that Jun has noted down all of these ideas.

You've thought of all of these ideas in order to support your understanding of this.

And you will think, "Well, which ones do I want to use and how will I weave them into my analytical paragraph?" And we're gonna look at that idea of weaving this contextual information into a paragraph now.

So Jun writes a response which includes context.

He writes, "In scene two Pinnock uses the character of Viv to explore the idea of a Eurocentric education system.

When asked by Enid to 'Tell Brod who you are,' Viv responds with a quotation from Rupert Brooke, a World War I poet.

This poem speaks of a soldier's willingness to die for England because he has been 'blest by the sons of home.

' Viv, just like Pinnock's parents' generation, has been indoctrinated by a colonist education that lionised, celebrated all things British." Now, his first draught doesn't weave context into the paragraph, but adds it onto the end.

And this makes it less skillful.

We sometimes call this bolting context on, and instead of bolting context on, what we're looking for is to try and weave context into our responses.

So his second draught, so just like Jacob, he does a second draught and his second draught does weave context into the paragraph.

He writes, "In scene two, Pinnock uses the character of Viv to explore the idea of a Eurocentric education system.

Pinnock asks us to consider if it reflects any of the experiences of what Pinnock calls 'this new breed of Black British woman.

' When asked by Enid to 'Tell Brod who you are,' Viv responds with a quotation from Rupert Brooke, a World War I poet.

Whereas when she's asked about Nanny of the Maroons, an important historical figure, she replies, 'Never heard of her.

'" So you can see that Jun has woven context into his response.

It's now in the middle of his response.

I really like how he's used some of Pinnock's own words.

You can embed quotations from Pinnock's introduction into your work of course.

And now, he's not bolted context onto the end, but he's enriched his paragraph by that light touch reference to context in the middle.

And this makes it much, much more skillful.

So a really successful second draught.

Now, let's have a look at Sam's paragraph.

Sam writes, "Pinnock explores the impact of a colonialist education on the character of Brod.

In scene two, Brod speaks of 'standing to attention whenever me hear the national anthem,' and other acts of patriotism towards a country he was educated to think of as his own.

After Britain colonised Jamaica in 1655, its citizens were told to think of England as their 'mother country.

' But Brod feels betrayed by the mother country, which has now deemed Brod an 'alien' and asked him to complete a naturalisation process." So I'd like you to discuss looking at Sam's paragraph, how does Sam weave context into that paragraph? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back after a really evaluative conversation about Sam's paragraph.

And it was really nice to see people draw out aspects of this paragraph, which specifically weave context in.

So you can see that on the board have highlighted the impact of the colonialist education.

And then the moment in Sam's paragraph where she's talked about Britain's colonisation of Jamaica in 1655.

Lots of people referenced these moments in Sam's paragraph and said, "Well, Sam weaves context into her topic sentence and her analysis." So you don't need to think my context must just come at the end of a paragraph.

You can think about different ways in which to weave it in.

Sam has chosen this time to put it into her topic sentence through that use of the key word and then into her analysis as well of looking at Brod when he says, "Standing to attention whenever we hear the national anthem." So check for understanding.

So just as we need to understand what compelling evidence is, now we're going to think, well, can we really understand what it means to weave context into response? So we've got two responses here, Sophia and Andeep.

I'd like you to read through both and select which student weaves context into their response.

Pause the video, read through those responses, and then select which student you think weaves context into their work.

Pause the video now.

Well done for reading through those responses so carefully and congratulations.

You're right, it is indeed Andeep who weaves context into his response.

So he looks at this quotation, "All my life, I think of myself as a British subject," words Pinnock says continue to resonate with contemporary audiences following the Windrush scandal.

So he's looking at some contemporary context in order to understand a play this moment in the play from scene two.

Now, Sophia has also got lots of contextual information, but she presents at a series of isolated facts rather than connecting Andeep has to her analysis.

So really thinking, if I've got this contextual information, I want to include it in, how can I make sure that I weave it in and really connect it so that it enriches my analysis? And I understand Pinnock's intentions, I can tie them together, the context, the analysis, and Pinnock's intentions.

Quite a difficult thing to do, but hopefully, by looking at all of these examples, looking at the idea of weaving context in, you have a stronger and stronger idea of what it means to include context in your response.

So weaving in context, of course, I would like you to write a paragraph answering how does Pinnock explore ideas around education? You have a really strong paragraph from learning cycle one where you've got great compelling evidence and now we're gonna show off our ability to weave in context as well.

Now, you may want to use Jun's ideas and a reminder they were Pinnock's, parents' generation being indoctrinated by colonialist education, the character of Brod looking at the legacy of colonialism on Jamaica, Viv and Del, "this new breed of black British woman." Viv's feelings impacted by the Eurocentric education system and Brod's anger and having to become a naturalised citizen.

Echoing words spoken 30 years later by victims of the 2018 Windrush scandal.

So you're gonna write a paragraph now, you're going to weave context into your response.

And a reminder, we're still looking at that same question, how does Pinnock explore ideas around education? So get your pen, get your laptop.

Good luck.

I'm excited to see these paragraphs and see the skill weaving context in.

I'm looking forward to seeing that in your work.

Pause the video and complete this task now.

Welcome back after some fantastic writing in answer to this question, how does Pinnock explore ideas around education? I saw people being really selective about the context they wanted to include, lots of people using Pinnock's own words, or actually exploring the idea of the Windrush scandal using their knowledge of this key term from the beginning of this lesson.

Now, I'd like you to consider Sam's earlier example, which wove in context.

We had a discussion about the power of Sam's paragraph.

We said, "Well, she's included context in terms of her topic sentence, and she's also included it in terms of her analysis.

And I'd like you to self-assess your own work using Sam's model as a guide.

Have you selected context relevant to the question? And is the context woven into your response rather than bolted on at the end of the paragraph? So I'd like you to complete this final task, this self-assessment, holding yourself to an incredibly high standard.

You'll now have two fantastic paragraphs in answer to the question, how does Pinnock explore ideas around education? Let's make sure that second one is as strong as the first.

So pause the video and complete the self-assessment now.

Well done, that final act of self-assessment has ensured you've got two fantastic paragraphs which you'll be able to rely on not only in terms of their ideas, but also thinking, well, what does it mean to have compelling evidence and what does it mean to weave context into a paragraph? In summary, topic sentences should link to the question, references to the text should link to your topic sentence, come from across the play, and be rich in methods.

Writer's methods should be explored without always relying on single word analysis, and context should be woven into analysis, not bolted on to the end of a paragraph.

It has been such a pleasure to work through this lesson with you today, and I look forward to seeing you next time.