Lesson video

Hello, and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Miss Watson, and I'm really looking forward to this lesson.

We're going to be writing a compelling account about a place that you have explored.

And compelling means irresistible, and there's nothing better than irresistible writing.

So, let's get started.

So, by the end of today's lesson, you will have planned and written a compelling account about a place that you have explored.

We're going to start by looking at the key words, and everything we do today is going to be compelling, which means that it has a powerful, or irresistible appeal.

And you might say the opposite of that is mundane.

Something is mundane, it lacks excitement, it's everyday-ish and a bit dull.

And memorable means worth remembering or easily remembered, and that is usually because it has some quality of being special or unusual.

If you are reflective, you are thoughtful and deliberate.

And we also have the word assonance, which is the repetition of vowel sounds in the middle of nearby words.

And you're going to read some beautiful writing that uses assonance very effectively.

If you'd like a little bit of time to familiarise yourself with the key words, please feel free to do that now.

You can pause the video and rejoin the lesson when you're ready.

So, this is the outline of today's lesson.

We are going to start by looking at how you would approach a writing task.

Then we are going to think about the specific qualities that make writing compelling, and then you are going to plan and write an account about a place.

Now, everything we do today is going to be governed by this writing task, to write a compelling account about a place you have explored.

Let's start with you discussing what thoughts and questions do you have about the task.

You might consider the key words in the question, what you might write about, and how you might want to write this account.

So, pause the video while you have this discussion.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions.

Welcome back.

I hope you enjoyed that discussion.

I'd like to share with you what the Oat pupil said.

Aisha said, "I haven't been anywhere interesting." Andeep said, "I go on holiday every year, but it's always to the same place." Jacob said, "I've been to lots of places, which one should I write about?" And June said, "I can never remember the places I've visited." So, all four Oat pupils basically were stuck.

They didn't really know how to make selections about what to write about.

And that's very common.

We've all been in that position.

So, let's look at the first one together.

So, the block is this, I haven't been anywhere interesting.

And I think you could say, as a solution, that you could write about a day trip or a memorable outing, because it's actually your memories that will make the writing interesting.

And you could explain why you would like to explore that place further.

What was it about the place that compelled you to want to go back there? You could also write about a dream destination or even an imaginary journey.

So, it is if you are exploring the unknown.

But above all, you need to focus on making your writing irresistible.

Let's have a check for understanding.

Is it true or false to say that focusing on the quality of your writing is the key to a compelling account? It's true.

But why is it true? I'd like you to justify your answer.

Is it A, that good writers can make even mundane experiences interesting because they engage with their reader? Or is it B, good writing is important, but it is even better to write about an interesting experience? What do you think? It's A.

It's the quality of writing that makes an account compelling.

Let's move on.

So, now it's over to you.

I want you to have a think about how you could help pupils overcome these three blocks.

I go on holiday every year, but it's always to the same place.

I've been to lots of places, which one to write about? And I can never remember the places I've visited.

Three different kinds of blocks, and I would like you to help those students find solutions to those blocks.

I'd like you to consider what makes experiences memorable, and how you could reflect on the experience, and how you could write about the experience in a compelling and irresistible way.

You're going to need to pause the video while you do that.

So, happy discussion, and off you go.

So, well done.

I'm really looking forward to sharing some ideas with you.

Now, you might have approached the task like this.

So, here was the problem about I'm going on holiday every year, but it's always to the same place.

This student is obviously worried that there's no novelty or excitement.

So, these are some possible ways of unblocking that student.

You might have said that you could use the fact that you are familiar with a place to track how you have developed, and matured, and changed over the years.

For example, how hills that seemed huge when you were a child are now manageable.

Or you could think about a time when something new entered the familiar.

Perhaps you met someone new, or went to a place that you had been meaning to go to for years, but never did.

And you could think about how your writing could be reflective of those changes.

Really good solutions.

Let's look at the next one.

So, I've been to lots of places with which one to write about.

Different kind of problem.

And you might have said, well, lucky you.

You've been to lots of places.

But how can you choose which one will produce the best piece of writing? Well, you could narrow down the options by thinking about which travel experience evokes the strongest emotions, or had the greatest impact.

And you could think about what you want to achieve in your writing, and which destination would best help you achieve that.

So, for example, if you wanted to practise writing about a negative experience, that might help you choose a particular destination.

Or if you wanted to try humour in your writing, that might guide you in the selection process.

Let's look at four.

I can never remember the places I've visited.

I'm sure we will all sympathise with this one.

We know it mattered.

We know we did things, but we can't quite recall the details.

Well, you might have said something like this.

You can try memory recall exercises or techniques such as visualisation.

Or this sometimes works.

You try telling the travel experience as a story.

You can use old photographs or souvenirs.

They can trigger your memory and provide inspiration for your writing.

Or another solution would be to focus on one specific memory.

Don't try and remember everything.

Focus on one specific memory, and then work on conjuring up sensory details and intense emotions.

Remember, one experience described well is better than 10 half-recalled ones.

Really, really good techniques here for getting unblocked.

Let's move on.

So, we've looked at how we might approach a writing task and how we might get unblocked.

And now we are going to look at the qualities of compelling writing.

Little reminder of the task is to write a compelling account about a place you have explored.

And a compelling account is irresistible.

It's one that a reader is drawn into and one they just can't stop reading.

And some of the qualities of compelling writing are emotional resonance.

The writing has some kind of echo in the reader.

And imaginative details.

And a strong, clear structure that guides the reader through the writing.

And meaningful themes.

And a sheer pleasure in the use of words, of language for its own sake.

Now we are going to read an extract from "Holiday Memory" by Dylan Thomas.

A little bit of information about Dylan Thomas.

He was a poet and a playwright.

And his work frequently drew on people and places from his birthplace in Wales.

And "Holiday Memory" was originally a radio broadcast.

And broadcast in 1946, it described and celebrated the childhood pleasures of a day at the beach.

So, you see, he's not going to anywhere majorly special or interesting or rare, or different.

It's a very simple day out.

And we are going to read the part where Dylan Thomas recalls going to the fairground at the end of the day.

You will find the writing in additional material.

So, let's read "Holiday Memory." So here is the extract from "Holiday Memory." I'm gonna read it to you.

I'd like you to follow along.

And as I read, I'd like you to look out for this.

Emotional resonance, imaginative details, strong clear structure, and pleasure in the use of words.

Now, I'm not saying that every single paragraph will have all those qualities.

But every single paragraph will have some of them.

So, let's start.

Fairs were no good in the day, then they were shoddy and tired; the voices of hoopla girls were crimped as elocutionists; no cannonball could shake the roosting coconuts, the gondolas mechanically repeated their sober lurch; the Wall of Death was safe as a governess cart; the wooden animals were waiting for the night.

What do you think you can see that makes that writing compelling? This is what I'd like to share with you.

That there was a really strong opinion at the beginning of it.

Fairs were no good in the day.

Now that gives you something to respond to.

It promotes agreement or disagreement.

You might not agree with him.

And there's this lovely imaginative description of the coconuts on the Coconut Shire, looking like a row of hens in a hen coop.

And it's got a very strong structure because the paragraph ends on a note of anticipation.

Let's read on and see what happens.

But in the night, the hoopla girls, like operatic crows, croaked at the coming moon, whizz, whirl, and tend for a tanner; the coconuts rained from their sawdust like grouse from the highland sky, tipsy the griffon-proud gondolas, weaved on dizzy rails; and the Wall of Death was a spinning rim of ruin; and the neighing wooden horses took to a haunting hunting tune a thousand beaches brooks as easily and breezily as hooved swallows.

I love that paragraph.

This is some of the things I love about it.

Again, we have this strong structure because we're moving into the night, and we are introducing a new time of day by way of contrast.

But he's also introducing a theme here, which is the transformative power of the night.

And then we have this inverted syntax.

Tipsy, the griffon-proud gondolas, weaved on dizzy rails.

So tipsy, the adjective, it comes first.

And the slight inverted oddness of that syntax matches the unsettling movement of the fairground rise as it swings round and round.

There's the playful language, the alliteration of rim of ruin, and the assonance, the haunting hunting tune, and they move as easily and breezily.

You can tell that this writer is enjoying the use of words.

And we, the reader, respond to that.

We enjoy them too.

And this is how the passage goes on.

Approaching at dusk, the Fair-field from the beach, we scorched and gritty boys heard above the belabouring of the batheless sea, the siren voices of the raucous horsey barkers.

Roll up, roll up.

And here, what strikes me is this.

Approaching at dusk, once again, it's structured around subtle shifts in times of day.

Dusk is that period between the day and the night.

And we have again language that plays with the sort of music of language, the sounds of language, the plosive B of belaboured and batheless, ba-ba, and then the assonance of raucous and horsey.

And finally, we have that call to action.

Roll up, roll up.

And that connects emotionally with the reader.

And I think that is a lovely, lovely, lovely passage, lovely three paragraphs.

And I find that really, really compelling.

Now, let's have a check for understanding.

Which of the qualities of compelling writing is missing from this list? We have A, emotional resonance, B, meaningful themes, and C, imaginative details, and D, strong clear structure.

So, what's missing? Have a think.

Did you say pleasure in the use of words? Because if you did, you're 100% right.

And I think that mostly that paragraph, those paragraphs we've just read, really gain their strength from the pleasure the writer is taking in the use of words.

Let's move on.

Now, I would like you to have a discussion.

I want you to think about what methods you are going to borrow from Dylan Thomas's "Holiday Memory" to use in your own compelling account.

Think about what he did so well.

There was emotional resonance.

He spoke directly to the reader.

There were interesting imaginative details, the way he described things.

There was a very strong, clear structure, but it's not a complicated structure.

It's just day, dusk, night, but it's very clear and very strong.

There was a theme, the idea that the dark brings out things that aren't there in the day.

And there was the sheer pleasure in the use of words.

So, please pause the video while you have a discussion about what you are going to borrow.

Off you go.

Welcome back.

I hope you had a really good discussion and that you're excited to get writing.

Before you start writing, though, I'd like to share with you what Aisha said.

She said that she was going to borrow Thomas's deceptively simple structure of describing a place during the day and the night.

Only, she said, I will make the night time sinister rather than exciting.

And she decided she was going to deliberately use alliteration to give her writing that sense of melody and wordplay.

I'd like you to compare your idea to Aisha's.

Do you have clear ideas about how you are going to write your account? So, now we are moving into the final part of the lesson, where we plan and write an account about a place.

Now, we're going to be looking at planning.

How do we turn ideas into plans? Now, Jacob has lots of ideas for his account of a place he has explored.

And these are his notes.

He's gonna write about his first visit to Mumbai, and he remembers street art and the nonstop beeping of horns and spices.

And he remembers what he felt.

He wrote down there what he felt.

Sense of awe and wonder and lots of animals, and sunset.

So, they're great notes.

What does he need to do to turn his ideas into a plan? Have a think about that.

Because at the moment, he doesn't have a plan.

He just has lots of ideas and enthusiasm.

What does he need to do to turn it into a plan? You can pause the video while you have a think about what he should do.

So, welcome back.

Now, you might have said something like this.

That he needs to decide the structure.

Where is the account going to begin and end? That he needs to order those points into paragraphs.

Because at the moment, they're all over the place, and they're not very organised.

And he needs to make clearer notes about the imaginative details, and he needs to think about the theme.

What is the deeper message or idea that is going to be in this account of Mumbai? And how is he going to compel the reader? How is he going to make this writing irresistible? So, Jacob took those suggestions, and now he has a plan.

He's decided he's going to start in media res.

That means in the middle of the action.

Get straight in there with the noise and the traffic and the heat, and the animals.

And his first paragraph is going to say where he is.

Mumbai.

And when? Dawn.

The sun is just up.

It's just arrived.

It's all there.

All this stuff about dawn and the sun being up is there to emphasise that everything is new.

And then he's going to move on to imaginative description.

He's going to be precise.

Not just colours.

Which colours? Pink and green.

Spices.

Which spices? Garlic and ginger.

Animals.

Which animals? Dogs and cows.

And in his third paragraph, he's going to talk about the surprise, delight, the awe, and wonder.

The dizzying emotions.

Everything is new.

This is what change feels like.

This is his theme.

The newness.

The change.

The novelty.

And he could do some really interesting sentence structure there.

Maybe beginning a sentence with an adjective like Dylan Thomas did to create that sense of dizziness when you go to a new place.

And he's going to finish by returning to the sun.

But now the sun is climbing the sky in line with the escalating excitement and anticipation.

I have no doubt that that would make a great piece of writing.

Let's have a check for understanding.

Which of the following do you need for a plan to be effective? Do you need A, an outline of the overall structure, including the beginning and end? B, notes about tone and mood, including where they will change.

C, a list of literary devices you will use, including simile and metaphor.

And D, a title for your writing and possibly a subtitle.

Have a think about what you really need for a plan.

Did you say outline of the overall structure and notes about tone and mood? Because that's the right answers.

It's really important that you know where you're gonna begin and end.

And it's really important that you know what the tone is and where you are going to shift.

A list of literary devices is not useful, but it's not essential.

And actually, a title for your writing and possibly a subtitle.

You would do that at the end.

This is about before you get started.

So, let's move on.

I would like you to use this grid to make a plan for your writing.

Remember what it is, is to write a compelling account about a place you have explored.

And when you have made your plan and you're happy with your plan, I want you to write your account.

Now you're going to need to pause the video while you do that.

So do that now.

Pause the video, start planning, and then write.

Off you go.

Welcome back.

I was so impressed by the focus you showed there, and I got a real sense that you were enjoying that piece of writing.

Now I'd like you to self-assess it.

I would like you to use these questions to consider how well you wrote an account, a compelling account about a place you'd explored.

Consider, did your writing have a clear beginning, middle, and end? Was your writing emotionally engaging? Did you speak directly to the reader at least once? Was there a theme? Did you include imaginative sensory details? Was your writing deliberately inviting to the reader? Was there a clear tone or moods? And were there words and phrases crafted specifically to delight the reader? Pause the video while you reflect and assess your work, and then join me again for the end of the lesson.

Off you go.

Now that brings us to the end of the lesson, and before we say goodbye, I would like to summarise what you have been learning today.

You have been learning that any topic can be interesting if the account is well-written.

You have been learning that compelling writing is irresistible, often because of its emotional power or theme.

And compelling writing also involves a writer enjoying using language.

Examples of a writer enjoying language are assonance, alliteration, and inverted syntax.

And you've been learning that a good plan has an overall structure and details about tone, ideas, and feelings.

So, thank you again for coming to the lesson.

Thank you for your hard work and your focus.

I look forward to seeing you in another lesson.

I wish you a very good rest of the day, and bye for now.