Hello and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Ms. Watson and I'm delighted that you've decided to join me today.

We're going to be looking at a model answer, an article.

We're going to be analysing it and we are going to be seeing how we can improve writing.

So we've got lots to do.

So as soon as you're ready, we'll get started.

So here is the outcome of today's lesson.

It is that you can identify and use a range of effective linguistic devices in an article.

So let's start with the keywords.

There are five keywords, all really useful for unlocking your learning.

The first one is hoax, and a hoax is a plan to deceive someone.

And then we have anecdote, which is a short, often funny story, especially about something that someone has done.

And anecdotes are really, really useful when you are writing nonfiction.

They bring a real sort of life and energy to your writing.

Now, to parody something or a parody is work that imitates and then humorously exaggerates the style of something, often something famous or definitely something recognisable.

A counter argument is an argument against another argument, idea or suggestion.

People use them to strengthen their own point of view.

And a call to action, this is a writing technique that asks or encourages people to take some kind of action about a problem, to do something.

So if you would like a little bit more time to familiarise yourself with the key words, please pause the video now and do that and then rejoin me when you are ready.

So there are two learning cycles in today's lesson.

We're gonna start with you reading "The Homework Hoax," which is a really funny article about homework.

And then we are going to move on and look at small paragraphs, short-ish paragraphs and really work out how we can improve them.

So let's go.

So here is an article title, "The Homework Hoax: A Concerned Parent Writes." And I would like you to have a discussion about what you would expect from that article given the title.

So pause the video while you have that discussion, or if you are working by yourself, just pause the video and make a few notes.

So, welcome back.

Great dscussion.

Let's look at some of the things that you may have said.

You might have noted that it's from the parent's perspective, and the parent is critical of homework.

They call it a hoax.

And the parent is involved.

They describe themselves as concerned.

So they are involved and they really care about this issue.

They think that homework is a cheat or a fraud, and they're sceptical about it.

Now you may have had different ideas, but I just think it's really useful to share other ideas with you so you can compare yours with them.

Let's move on.

Now it's over to you to read the article, "The Homework Hoax." You'll find it in additional materials.

And as you read, I would like you to consider these four points.

Number one, what is the writer's main argument? Two, how does she begin the article? Three, where does she use a counterargument? And four, how does she end her article? So when you are ready and you found the article, pause the video, and off you go.

Happy reading! Welcome back.

I really hope you enjoyed reading that article.

Now we're gonna have a check for understanding using the four questions that I asked you to consider before you started reading.

So, first question, what is the writer's main argument? It is that homework is unnecessary and also harmful to children's wellbeing.

And question two is, how is this text structured? How is it organised? What do you think? Well, you might have said that it begins with an anecdote with a funny story, and then it moves to an argument, a counter argument, and then she challenges the counter argument with the rebuttal, and finally, there is a call to action.

And number three, where does she use a counter argument? Have a think.

Yeah, she says that she understands that other people think that school is really good training for work.

And the fourth and last question is, how does she end her article? She finishes with a call to action encouraging other parents to object to homework.

She wants everyone to kind of join in and rise up and take a stand against homework.

So well done if you got those right.

Let's move on.

So before we look at how the writer uses techniques, I'd like you to have a short discussion about whether or not you agree with the article's argument.

Do you think it is structured effectively? This is what the Oak pupils said.

Aisha thought that the argument was interesting, but she thought that work and learning are different and she doesn't think that the writer acknowledges that difference.

And Jacob said that the structure is effective because it is clear.

And he says that the anecdote engages and the call to action is inspiring.

So I would like you to just pause the video and decide whether or not you agree with Aisha and Jacob.

And of course, if there are any other, any ideas that you would like to add to theirs, please do that.

So pause the video and do that now, or if you're working by yourself, pause the video and make a few notes.

Well, that was a really interesting discussion.

Now, we are going to look at some of the ways that the writer engages and convinces the reader.

So we're starting with the anecdote.

"As I hit the snooze button for the third time on this grey October morning, I roll over, cocooned in my feather-down duvet, my head embraced by the warm hug of my pillow, safe in the knowledge that I don't need to start my daily commute to my kitchen for another five minutes." So have a think about what is the effect of beginning the article with an anecdote.

Pause the video and discuss that or pause the video and make a few notes.

Well, let me share an idea with you.

You might have said that the anecdote creates a very relatable shared experience.

We've all enjoyed a lie-in.

And it also sets up a contrast with the stresses Of homework.

Let's read on.

So, she then writes, "Thanks to COVID and Microsoft Teams, I've said goodbye to my daily hour-long slog across London.

I've said goodbye to the torrid trials and tribulations of trying to wedge myself into the musty armpits of my fellow commuters on the Central Line.

I've finally said goodbye to the piercing screech of my 6:00 AM alarm clock.

I've replaced it all with one big, fat HELLO: hello to work-life balance.

It is bliss." So again, another discussion.

How does the writer convey her excitement about working from home? 'Cause she's clearly loving it.

So pause the video and discuss that question or Pause the video and make a few notes.

Well, you might have said this, That you can tell she's excited because of an anaphora: "I've said goodbye." It's a repetition, it's a form of repetition, and repetition is often used to emphasise something.

And here it is emphasising her excitement.

And also you might have noticed that the word hello is capitalised, which is another way of emphasising and showing how thrilled she is to be working from home.

And then there is that alliteration, that really creates a kind of energy that also reflects her pleasure in working from home.

She did not like the commute, torrid trials and tribulations.

She really shows some energy in rejecting those.

And now we're going to read one more paragraph.

"Unfortunately, however, not all of my family are reaping these rewards after two years of lockdown.

Whilst my husband and I smugly compact our daily grind into an eight-hour window, our children return at 4:30, still shackled to school life by society's greatest hoax: homework." So here, how does a writer use language to contrast her life with that of her children? So pause the video and have that discussion.

And remember, when we are looking for language, we are Looking for specific words.

Off you go.

So welcome back.

And you might have picked out words like this, that the writer juxtaposes words like smugly, which suggests satisfaction with the powerful adjective shackled, which implies that her children are being tied up and imprisoned.

Really good discussion.

Let's move on.

It's time now for a check for understanding.

Is it true or false to say that the writer uses contrasting language to compare her work-life balance with her children's struggle with homework? Yes, it's true.

And what would you say in support of that? Why is it true? Have a think.

Well, you might have said that the writer uses anaphora, contrast, and vivid word choices to emphasise the difference between her easy working life and her children's academic burdens.

Really good.

Let's move on.

So we've been looking at the paragraphs together, and now it's over to you to look at them independently.

So I have asked questions for paragraphs 2, 3, 4, and 5.

And I want you in for paragraph two to comment on the use of hyperbole and rhetorical question to question the entire effectiveness of additional homework, of additional schoolwork that has to be done at home.

And then the next one is, how does the writer use vivid imagery and rhetorical questions to emphasise the need for children to have downtime? And then how do metaphor and statistic shape the reader's understanding of how homework affects children's health? And then finally, in the last paragraph, how might the reader respond to the call to action and the inclusive language, the us and the we? So, pause the video and identify those techniques.

I'm really looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Off you go.

Welcome back.

I'd like to share some things that I think you might have identified so that you can compare your ideas with these.

So you might have said about the first one that the hyperbole and the rhetorical questions really highlight the absurdity of excessive homework, making readers question its value, and that the imagery creates a parody of the proud parent.

The humour is engaging and makes us want to believe the writer.

And the statistics are really good here.

They highlight the scale of the problem.

And then there's that really good metaphor about the zombie, which makes it's powerful, because it makes school day seem really joyless.

And finally, the call to action and the inclusive language.

Well, it creates a real sense of urgency and collective responsibility in this protest against homework.

Now, I'm not saying these are the only things you could have said, but I think it'd be really useful if you compare your ideas with these.

If you'd like a little bit of time to do that, please feel free to pause the video and then rejoin me For the second half of the lesson.

So we're making really good progress today.

We've identified how techniques are used, and now we are going to use them and improve an article.

So a new title.

And I would like you to discuss what is your response to the following article title and subheading.

This is it.

The title is, "Give Me the Key to Safety," and the subheading is "A Parent Argues That They Should Have Access to Their Children's Social Media Passwords." Pause the video where you have a discussion or just pause a video and make a few notes if you are working by yourself.

It's an interesting title, isn't it? Lemme share with you what the Oak pupils thought.

Well, Aisha thought that it was an interesting idea, but it won't work.

She thought it would destroy trust.

She means trust between parents and children.

And Izzy thought it could be quite fun to write.

She said you could use hyperbole to exaggerate what parents might find on their children's social media.

And Andeep had an interesting idea that actually you could write it from the child's point of view.

He wants to twist it around and have them exploring their parents' internet use.

He thinks that would be a really interesting twist.

What would you add to their discussion? So now I'm gonna share with you the introduction to the article, and we're gonna think about what it does well and how it could be improved.

So I'm gonna read it to you and I would like you to follow along.

So, "Are your children safe online? Do you know who they're talking to? The answer is simple: No, you do not.

85% of parents have no idea what their child is up to online.

That's 85% of parents who are risking the safety of those they love most.

Are you one of the 85%? This cannot continue.

It is time to reclaim our children's passwords.

It is time to take back control of our children's use of the internet.

It is time to take our children's safety back into our own hands." So pause the video and have a think and a discussion about what that introduction does well and how it could be improved.

Off you go.

Let me share some ideas with you about what the Oak pupils thought.

I should have thought that it was wrong way to begin it.

And she would start by describing a scenario and she thought that would be sound more considered.

So she's already started with the even better if.

And Izzy thought that the rhetorical questions were powerful, but too many sound dull.

If you keep repeating them, they kind of lose their impact.

And she would think about how to vary the sentence structures.

Andeep agrees with both Aisha and Izzy and he says that the vocabulary needs to be elevated.

No idea what their child is up to is a little bit colloquial and a bit vague.

And he noted that they repeated the word safety and online and it wasn't repetition for effectiveness' sake.

What might you add to what the Oat pupils said? So this is Jacob's revised version.

He wrote this, "Once upon a time in the land of hashtags, filters, and viral memes, an unsuspecting parent walked into their teenager's room and stumbled upon their social media wonderland.

What seemed like an innocent peek into the digital cosmos turned into revelations that left the poor parent bewildered, befuddled, and downright bamboozled.

I know I was that parent." Have a discussion about how Jacob has improved that version.

Pause the video while you do that or if you are working by yourself, just pause the video and identify the improvements that Jacob has made.

Let's have a check for understanding and let's identify the techniques that are used in Jacob's revised version.

"Once upon a time," what's that technique? It is an anecdote.

It's going to introduce a story.

And the "land of hashtags, filters, and viral memes," what's that? That's right.

It's a metaphor.

Using the idea of a land that it's a world.

And "bewildered, befuddled and downright bamboozled," what's that? There's powerful adjectives.

You might also have called it rule of three and you might have said that it was alliteration.

So quite a lot of techniques are being used there.

And then "I know: I was that parent." A short sentence.

Well done if you got those right.

Let's move on.

Now we have another paragraph and you are going to rewrite it.

So let me read the this version to you.

Please follow along.

"Some people believe we should let children navigate the online world alone to foster independence.

However, young people aren't equipped to handle its complexities and dangers.

Trust alone is a risky gamble.

While important, it must be balanced with vigilance.

As parents, we must guide and protect our children from threats they can't yet comprehend." So you're gonna rewrite that and I would like you to remember to use descriptive and vivid language, imagery or metaphors, and engaging topic sentence and to vary your sentence length.

So when you are ready, pause the video and off you go.

Happy writing.

So welcome back.

Really good focus there.

Before we end the lesson, I would like you to assess your work, and I've got some coaching questions here to help you reflect on your writing.

So have you used descriptive and vivid language to make the paragraph more compelling? Does the paragraph evoke an emotional response or connect with the reader on a personal level? Have you used imagery or metaphors to illustrate the complexities and dangers of the online world? Is the topic sentence engaging? Maybe it contains surprising information or a question to capture the reader's attention? And does the paragraph vary sentence length? For example, is there a short sentence in order to create impact? So pause the video and take some time to reflect on your work, and then please rejoin me for the end of the lesson.

So before we say goodbye, I would like to summarise what you have been learning today.

You have been learning that when writing an article, you should use a range of literary devices to engage the reader.

And you've learned that some examples of literary devices are anecdote, hyperbole, rhetorical questions, imagery, parody, and juxtaposition.

And you have been learning that it is important to use literary devices carefully.

For example, too many rhetorical devices, too many rhetorical questions means they lose their effectiveness.

And you've been learning that an anecdote can be an effective way of beginning your article.

It's been a real pleasure to teach you today.

I really appreciate your hard work and your focus and your discussions.

I wish you a brilliant rest of the day and I look forward to seeing you again in another lesson about nonfiction teenage kicks.

Bye for now.