Refining comparative essay writing.

Hello and welcome, my name is Mr. Young and I'm so glad that you could join me in another lesson in this poetry sequence.

So, today's lesson is all about refining our comparative essay writing skills.

So, shall we get started? So, today's lesson has a very clear learning outcome.

Let's take a look at what it is.

So, by the end of today's lesson, everybody should be able to plan and structure a cohesive argument for a poetry comparison essay.

And just as in any lesson, we have some very important words, our keywords.

So, I do always encourage you just to pause the video, jot these words down and their definitions, particularly if they are new to you, because we are going to be using them quite a bit.

Let's take a look at what they are.

Nuanced, a subtle difference in meaning.

In our poetry essays we want to look for nuanced differences in the presentation of the same thing, for example, war.

So, we might want to talk about two poems being about war, but we might want to pick on a subtle difference within that.

For example, how war affects people on the frontline or how it might affect them at home.

For relative conjunctions, words that work in pairs to join ideas together, For example, neither nor.

And these can be really, really useful when we are writing our comparative topic sentences.

Discourse markers, words and phrases we use to organise and connect our ideas.

They let our reader know where our argument is going.

So firstly, for example, to conclude, all of these kind of really important words that really give structure to our ideas.

And finally, evaluate.

To make a judgement on something.

In English, we evaluate a writer's methods and ideas.

So, in today's lesson, you're gonna have a really great opportunity to evaluate some of the key ideas in certain poems. So, today's lesson has two very clear learning cycles, and I'm really excited for both of them.

So, our first one is all about writing effective introductions to analyse poetry.

So, all those little kind of tips and tricks we can do to make our introductions as powerful as they can possibly be.

And they really help out the rest of our essay having such a powerful introduction.

And then learning cycle two is going to be all about developing our ideas when analysing poetry.

So, how we can use different things like discourse markers, for example, to make our ideas as powerful as they can possibly be.

So, without further ado, let's get started with learning cycle one.

So, when writing analytical essays in response to poetry, we are going to be comparing two poems. So, quick discussion question for me then to kick us off with this learning cycle.

So, look at Lucas's opening here.

Responding to a question about conflict.

What could be improved about this opening? So, Lucas has said, "The poem 'Remains', presents the traumatic nature of war.

So does the poem 'Exposure'." How could we improve that? And we definitely can.

So, hit that pause button, have a quick discussion, or jot down some ideas and then push play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, excellent start to this lesson.

My goodness, what a fantastic bunch of conversations I'm hearing really, really hard work.

Let's keep that going throughout today's lesson.

So, things we could have said, I think what really jumps out to me about Lucas's opening.

Firstly, is that Lucas could use comparative or correlative conjunctions here to make this opening a bit stronger and just link his ideas together.

So, both, and, neither, nor for example.

And also, the identified similarity is very generic.

Lucas could identify a smaller variation in a wider similarity to make his point much stronger.

So, all Lucas has done here is identified that they're both about war, you know, a very, very obvious similarity.

He can make that a lot more complex.

So, we could use correlative conjunctions alongside comparatives to make our comparisons more nuanced and to link our ideas.

So, correlative conjunctions work a little bit like this.

So, we can have poem one, poem two, and we also have our idea what we want to compare them.

What comparison point we want to make.

So, let's take a look at an example.

So, we've got Weir who's one of the poets, and Garland too.

They both highlight the damaging effect that war can have on those that stay at home.

Weir in "Poppies" and Garland in "Kamikaze".

So, we can use some correlative conjunctions to make that point really strong.

We could say both Weir and Garland highlight the damaging effect that war can have on those that stay at home.

So, we're using those correlative conjunctions to really make a kind of nuanced point about how war is presented by those two poets.

Let's look at another example.

So again, we could say poem one and poem two.

We've got Armitage and we've got Owen.

So, we've got Armitage in "Remains" and Owen in "Exposure".

And we could say that they don't shy away from describing the traumatic nature of war on individual soldiers.

That certainly comes across in both of those poems, doesn't it? War is presented as a very gritty, a very kind of negative experience, and we could use correlative conjunctions again to make that point really, really effective.

And it might look a little bit like this.

We could say neither Armitage nor Owen shy away from describing the traumatic nature of war on the individual soldier.

So, by using those correlative conjunctions, we've got a really nice comparative topic sentence that could kick off our essay.

So, quick check for understanding for me then please.

Which statement does not include correlative conjunctions or comparatives? Is it A, Owen portrays war in an extremely negative light? Is it B, both Shelly and Browning highlight the futility of human vanity? Is it C, neither Duffy nor Armitage shy away from presenting war as an extremely traumatic event to individuals that witness it? So, which one of these does not include correlative conjunctions or comparatives? Really excited to see how you got on this one.

So, hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, excellent work to everybody who identified it as A, Owen portrays war in an extremely negative light.

This does not contain correlative conjunctions.

We've got them in B and C, we've got both and, and in B, and we've got neither and nor in C.

Great job if you picked up on that in your own work.

Okay, so when we are analysing poetry it is also good practise to explore smaller variations or connections within a wider similarity in the poet's ideas, messages of use devices that can be really, really high level analysis.

So, let's take a look at an example.

So, Andeep has written the following.

Andeep has said, "Both 'Ozymandias' and 'My Last Duchess' depict vain leaders obsessed with control." So, that is a really nice similarity there, isn't it? So, Andeep has identified a really nice similarity between two poems from the anthology.

So, that is absolutely true, isn't it? Both of those poems are about vain leaders obsessed with control.

However, how could he add a small difference within that similarity to make it stronger? So, we know that both "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess" depict vain leaders obsessed with control.

But is there any difference? Is there any difference within how they exert that control, for example? So once again, hit that pause button, have a quick discussion, and then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, fantastic work on that.

And I'm hearing lots of people say it.

Absolutely, Andeep could explore differences in how those leaders exert that control.

So, what we mean by that is how the leaders on "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess" both exert their kind of vain control.

So, we could add that distinction at the end to make it even stronger and it could read a little bit like this.

So, both "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess" depict vain leaders obsessed with control.

However, in "Ozymandias", the ruler seeks to exert his control over his subjects, even in death.

Remember that statue and its kind of inscription on it.

Whereas in "My Last Duchess", Browning presents a ruler wanting to exert control over the memory of his dead wife.

So, he wants to kind of control his wife even in death, it seems. So, a really, really important distinction and I had lots of people pick up on, that's really well done.

Okay, check for understanding time for me then please.

So, when comparing poems in the anthology, we should just look for similarities.

Is that true or false? Hit that pause button, complete the task, push play when you like to see which is correct.

Okay, great job, if you identified it as false, it's of course, false.

We don't just want to look for similarities, but how can we make that a bit more challenging? Let's make that a bit more difficult.

How could we justify that statement? Is it A, the best analysis looks for small differences within broader similarities to show nuanced interpretations? Or is it B, differences can be just as powerful as similarities when looking at poems in the anthology? Once again, hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to proceed.

Okay, great job to everybody who identified A, the best analysis looks for small differences within broader similarities to show nuanced interpretations.

And that's exactly what Andeep did, didn't he? In that last slide, is to talk about that kind of nuanced difference between how those rulers exert their kind of vain control.

Great job if you picked up on that.

Okay, we have reached our first practise task of today's lesson.

So, let's make it count.

So, below are examples of two poems to compare within the anthology and a question focus.

Remember, when you write your answers to these questions, you are given one poem, you have to choose another, and you are given a focus, a very specific focus for your essay.

So, what I would like you to do is to choose one and write an opening to a comparison of the two poems that includes the following things.

So, comparative and correlative conjunctions and crucially, an identification of a smaller difference within a wider similarity.

And the poems and the focus is as follows.

So, poem one, "Kamikaze" and "Exposure", and you're being asked to compare them in terms of nature.

Then you've got "Ozymandias" and "London" and you're being asked to compare them in terms of human power.

And finally, "Poppies" and "War Photographer", and you're being asked to compare them in terms of how they explore trauma of war.

Super excited to see how you get on this one.

So, choose two poems, choose the focus, and then have a go at writing that fantastic opening to a comparison.

So, really good luck with this one.

Pause the video, and then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, excellent work on that.

You are working fantastically well today, which I love to see.

So remember, the introduction is the foundation of our essay.

So, if we get that right, we can expect to write a really, really great piece of analysis.

So, well done for all of your fantastic work on this.

So, here is how you could have approached this task for the following poems. So, for "Kamikaze" and "Exposure", looking at nature, we could have compared them in the following way.

We could have written the following comparative.

Both Garland and Owen explore the power of nature in war zones.

However, for Garland, nature's power and its beauty acts as a galvanising force to turn the pilot back home and flee from his duty.

For Owen, the powerful natural elements are depicted as a terrorising foe.

Another hostile force, which the men must endure, if they wish to serve their country.

So, a really nice example there.

And you know, I've seen lots of really similar things in the class, which is great today.

So, we've got those comparatives haven't we? We've got both and, and and we've also got that identification of a difference within a wider similarity.

So, how nature is presented.

So, in "Kamikaze" it causes the pilot to flee from his duty.

However, for Owen, it is all about the soldiers enduring the kind of tough natural elements as part of their duty.

So, a really high level comparison there.

Well done, if he picks up on anything similar.

Okay, self-assessment time for me then please.

So, I would really like you to self-assess your work.

So, have a look at your answer and identify where you have included examples of the following things.

So, where have you included examples of comparative and correlative conjunctions and where have you shown a smaller difference within a broader similarity? So, if you've done both of those things, then you have written a fantastic piece of work.

But if you have left one of those out, then please don't worry that can be a really nice target for next time.

So, pause the video, self-assess your work, and then do push play when you'd like to proceed into learning cycle two.

Okay, then we have reached learning cycle two where we are going to look at how we can develop our ideas when analysing poetry.

So, let's get started.

So, when writing analytically, we can use discourse markers to explore multiple angles of an idea.

So remember, discourse markers are a bit like road signs.

They tell our reader where we are going.

So, my question for you is as follows, which discourse markers could be appropriate here when we're exploring multiple angles of an idea? So, hit that pause button, have a quick discussion, or jot down some ideas if you're working independently, and then do push play when you'd like to proceed.

Okay, what a fantastic start to this learning cycle.

Well done, I'm hearing lots of different discourse markers flying around the room and well done for remembering so many.

It's really important to remember that we can use a variety of discourse markers for different purposes in our essays.

Let's take a look at what I mean.

So for example, we have different discourse markers depending on what we want to do.

So, if we want to add or sequence our ideas, we've got words like furthermore, and additionally, and moreover.

If we want to give examples, we can use for example, or for instance.

If we want to show the cause and effect between two things, we might want to do this by showing the effect of a particular device or example, in poetry.

We can use words like therefore, thus, and consequently.

And finally, really important when comparing poetry, if we are comparing or contrasting something, we can use discourse markers like similarly, likewise, and whereas.

Great job for picking up on those.

So, quick check for understanding for me then please.

Which of the below discourse markers would be appropriate for giving examples? Is it A, moreover, is it B, similarly, is it C, for instance, or is it D, for example? I'll give you a clue, there's more than one.

So, hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see which are correct.

Okay, great job to everybody who identified C and D, for instance and for example.

So, these can be really good in our poetry essays for introducing a piece of evidence that backs up an idea that we have.

For example, if we are talking about "Kamikaze" and duty and the nature's effect on the pilot, we could use for example when we speak about some of that vivid natural imagery to prove our point.

That'd be a really good use of that discourse marker.

So, when writing analytically, it is important to be able to bring out precise ideas in our concluding sentences.

So, let's take a look at an example.

So, here is a segment from Alex's essay, and this is his topic sentence and his concluding sentence.

And we can imagine he's kind of developed his ideas in between.

So, Alex's essay begins, "Both 'Exposure' and 'Remains' clearly explore the traumatic effect of war on a typical soldier." Then Alex would've kind of developed that idea a bit more, looking at evidence from both poems. And then he concludes his essay in the following way.

He says, "This clearly demonstrates that both of these poems outline the traumatic effect of war on soldiers." So, my question for you is as follows, what could be improved in Alex's work here? How could either his topic sentence or his concluding sentence be improved? And they definitely can.

So, hit that pause button, have a quick discussion, jot down some ideas, push play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, excellent job on that.

I'm hearing lots of people pick up on that, and it's the similarity between the two, isn't it? We would say, currently, Alex's concluding sentence is almost identical to his topic sentence.

His analysis is not developed or improved by this concluding sentence.

So, we really want to change that, don't we? We don't just want to repeat the same thing again, that's not really good analysis.

So, we could change it in the following way.

So, Alex could keep his topic sentence, which is a really good one, which reads, "Both 'Exposure' and 'Remains' clearly explore the traumatic effect of war on a typical soldier." But after his analysis, he could change his concluding sentence so it brings in some different ideas or a different angle on what he is discussing in his essay.

It could finish, "Although writing about entirely different conflicts, both poets effectively capture the harrowing experience of war across the ages for the soldier on the frontline." So now, Alex's concluding sentence makes reference to the topic sentence, but develops those ideas a little bit further by making a really precise contextual comparison.

So, kind of alluding to the fact that these poems are about different conflicts, but there is a kind of commonality between them.

So, we have reached our final practise task of today's lesson.

So, let's make it count.

So, Sophia has produced a single paragraph outline to answer the following question.

And that question is, compare how poets present the effects of war in "Bayonet Charge" and one other poem in the anthology.

So, Sophia has decided to compare "Bayonet Charge" with "Charge of the Light Brigade".

So, Sophia's single paragraph outline reads as follows.

Her topic sentence begins, human suffering is presented as an intrinsic part of any soldier's experience in both "Bayonet Charge" and "Charge of the Light Brigade".

So, really, really great topic sentence there.

Really kind of exploring a really nice comparison between them.

So, supporting detail, lots of supporting detail there.

So, Sophia has picked up on bullets smacking the belly out of the air in "Bayonet Charge" with plosive sounds and and the link to wars harshness.

We've also got this fantastic simile of lugging a rifle numb as a smashed arm in "Bayonet Charge".

Again, highlighting the kind of prevalence of injury.

And in those comparison points with "Charge of the Light Brigade".

So, we've got this extended metaphor of the jaws of death and the mouth of hell kind of highlighting the powerlessness of the men.

They're almost dehumanised, aren't they? They're feeding this war machine.

And finally, in "Charge of the Light Brigade" again, we've got sabre stroke which shatter'd and sunder'd.

These kind of really rich sibilant sounds, which kind of mimic the bullets, highlighting the danger of the charge.

And Sophia has brought it all together with a really nice closing sentence, which is, both poems capture the horror of war and the seeming expend ability of human life.

So, really nice kind of illusion back to that topic sentence.

So, my task for you is as follows.

I would like you to write an answer to that question using Sophia's plan as a starting point.

And I would like you to ensure that you use discourse markers to explore different angles of an idea and to ensure your concluding sentence is evaluative and draws out precise ideas.

So, really looking forward to seeing how you get on with this one.

So, pause the video, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see a little bit of feedback.

Okay, fantastic work on that.

It is a really good skill to be able to take somebody else's plan and convert it into your own kind of written analysis.

I know it's quite challenging at first, isn't it? But it's a really, really good practise to get into, particularly in the study of English.

So, let's take a look at how we could have approached this task.

So, we could have said, in both "Bayonet Charge" and "Charge of the Light Brigade", human suffering is presented as an intrinsic part of any soldier's experience.

The vivid imagery and sensory details in both poems vividly depict the brutality of conflict.

In "Bayonet Charge", Hughes employs explosive sounds like bullets smacking the belly out of the air, effectively imitating the harshness of war.

The inclusion of belly subtly allude to the gruesome injuries suffered by soldiers emphasising their individual agony.

Similarly, the similarly lugged a rifle numb as a smashed arm in "Bayonet Charge" highlights the prevalence of injury.

Even the soldier's weapon seems to bear the weight of suffering.

The answer continues, meanwhile, Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade" utilises an extended metaphor with phrases like jaws of death and mouth of hell.

Effectively dehumanising the soldiers and portraying them as mere fodder for the war machine.

For example, the image of the sabre stroke, which shatter'd and sunder'd in Tennyson's poem, employs sibilant sounds to mimic the danger faced by the soldiers, further accentuating the horror of battle.

Ultimately, both poems poignantly capture the horror of war and the apparent expandability of human life amidst the chaos of conflict.

So, a really nice way there of how we could have interpreted Sophia's plan.

So, my last task for you then is, where does this answer use discourse markers and connectives do develop and evaluate ideas? So, hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you like to see the correct answer.

Yep, there's quite a few of them there aren't there? And well done, if you picked up on meanwhile, for example, and ultimately, as the discourse markers in this answer.

And crucially, you'll notice they're all doing different things.

Some are concluding, some are kind of developing, and some are presenting evidence.

So, well done, if you picked up on that.

Okay, my goodness, we have reached the end of today's lesson.

Thank you for such a fantastic lesson.

It's been an absolute pleasure to teach you today.

So, let's recap everything that we have learned.

Firstly, introduction and topic sentences should use comparative and correlative conjunctions.

Within a wider similarity, explore smaller variations or connections in the poet's ideas, messages, or use of devices.

Use sequences of developmental and evaluative discourse markers to explore multiple angles of an idea.

And finally, ensure concluding sentences and conclusions are evaluative, drawing out precise ideas.

It's been an absolute pleasure to teach you today, and I really look forward to teaching you on another lesson in this sequence.

So, thank you very much and goodbye.