Hello and welcome to your lesson today on writing a narrative with a compelling voice.

I'm Miss Sutherland and I'll be teaching you today.

Our learning outcome for today is to use a compelling and convincing voice in our narrative writing.

And we have three key words for today's lesson.

First key word is ignominy, which means public shame or disgrace.

The second is discern, to be able to see or recognise something.

And the last, bedraggled, wet, dirty untidy.

I'll give you a moment to pause the video and reflect upon the keywords or jot them down if you need to.

Off you go.

We'll be revisiting each of these keywords in the lesson today.

In today's lesson, we have two learning cycles.

We are first going to read an example narrative to give you an idea about what you are aiming for today, and then we are going to be writing our very own narrative.

I'm so excited to see all your brilliant ideas for your narrative come to fruition today.

Let's start with then reading an example narrative.

So you are going to write a short narrative with a strong sense of voice today, and you can use any of the prompts on the screen to help you write this narrative.

Write a narrative titled Outsider.

Write about a time when you discovered something no one else was supposed to know.

Write a narrative beginning with the line, "I have no idea how I ended up here." And write a narrative that takes place in the future.

Now, you may have already planned an example narrative for one of these prompts, and that's brilliant.

So try and remember which one you planned for.

So let's recap the structure we can adopt for this narrative.

Because we are writing a short story, we might want to condense the narrative arc.

So that means we might just want to include an exposition, a rising action and a climax, and leave our story there.

Another thing we might want to do to make our short story interesting is to add a time manipulation before we begin unravelling the main events of the story.

So what I mean by time manipulation is including a flashback at the beginning, starting your narrative with a moment that occurs after the main events, we'll have a look at what that might look like in a moment, and also beginning with the climax.

If you choose to begin with the climax, you'll essentially be creating a circular narrative because you're going to begin and end with the same phrase or paragraph.

So I hope that you've been able to consider which time manipulation you might want to use for your narrative.

Now let's take a look at an example narrative.

It's based on the prompt, "Write about a time when you discovered something no one else was supposed to know." It also uses the prompt, "I have no idea how I ended up here." So I've kind of combined the two.

You can find the whole narrative in your additional materials.

So make sure you open up your additional materials and you read the narrative along with me.

I have no idea how I ended up here.

It's a joke, really.

40 year old me back in my childhood bedroom, walls clumsily plastered with Britney Spears cutouts, each one staring into the depths of my soul.

I used to look like that once, I think, scanning the photo booth Polaroids framing my dusty mirror.

I look at my reflection now and I'm bleary-eyed, sallow and matted.

I used to think nothing could top the ignominy of your husband leaving you for your best mate, but this is an all time low.

It was raining the day I found out.

That dull relentless type of rain that is almost impossible to discern when you're looking through a window.

Anyway, I'd forgotten my umbrella and Paul had the car.

I couldn't think of anything worse than getting on the bus with all those sweaty kids so I trudged it home, my hair sticking to my face like a soggy, bedraggled cat.

My only thoughts being Desperate Housewives, a face mask and a bath.

The first thing I noticed was the car.

He wasn't supposed to be home until 5:00.

Maybe he'd hoovered.

Or better yet, maybe he'd rustled up a candlelight dinner, complete with roses and wine.

Who was I kidding? We hadn't done that in years.

I hope you enjoyed reading the first part of that example narrative along with me.

Let's explore what makes the example narrative successful.

I want you to discuss which phrases stand out to you as creating a strong sense of voice in the paragraphs you have read.

Pause the video and discuss.

Now what we mean by creating a strong sense of voice is what phrases make that character whose narrating really come alive to you? What phrases make that character believable and compelling for you? Here are some of the phrases you may have said.

"It's a joke really." "I used to look like that once." "This is an all time low." "Anything worse than getting on the bus with all those kids." And, "Soggy, bedraggled cat." Notice how the harsh, blunt, direct, and shameless voice is maintained throughout the response.

To make your voice convincing, you need to keep in mind how your narrator would express things and this is often different to how you might express things.

Let's experiment with trying to maintain the narrator's voice.

How might our narrator of the story we've just read express that her husband is not a romantic person? What are some of the phrases she might say about him based on her voice being blunt, harsh, direct, and shameless? Pause the video and discuss.

You may have said things like, "He's a bit soulless if you ask me," and, "He's about as loving as a stray cat," would work for our narrator because they're quite blunt, direct and harsh.

However, these aren't in line with the narrator's voice as they're more soft, indirect and perhaps a little bit reticent holding back from telling the truth.

"He's not the most attentive, bless him," and, "He shows his love in unique ways, but I know it's there." There's an obvious difference between the two phrases at the top of the screen and the two phrases at the bottom and the phrases at the top definitely match our narrative voice much more.

It might confuse our reader if we were to use the two phrases at the bottom, because our reader has got to know our narrator as a certain type of person.

If we were to then start crafting her voice as soft and indirect, it would unsettle the reader's perception of our narrator as a character.

So remember, keep your narrative voice consistent throughout your response.

Let's continue to explore what makes the example narrative successful.

Despite being set after the main events of the narrative have occurred, how does the first paragraph set up for the second? Pause the video and discuss.

What's the link between the first and second paragraph? You may have said a seed is planted in the first paragraph that something has gone wrong in the narrator's life.

She's a mature woman in a childish, outdated bedroom and she seems to think this is embarrassing.

So something must have happened to put her in that situation.

The narrator is clearly feeling sorry for herself, which plants another seed that something has gone wrong.

The narrator alludes to why she's in a pitiful state at the end of paragraph one.

Nothing could beat the ignominy of your husband leaving you for your best mate.

And this scandalous revelation sets up perfectly for the narrator to then unravel her story in the second paragraph.

So remember, when you are writing your narrative, especially when you have a time manipulation at the beginning, you need to be making sure that time manipulation.

paragraph links to the rest of your response.

It can't be separate.

It must have a obvious link to the rest of your response to make it clear for your reader what's going on.

When writing a short narrative, it's most important to do what? Pause the video and check your understanding of what we've talked about in the lesson so far.

When writing a short narrative, it's most important to maintain a consistent narrative voice throughout paragraphs so that your reader can really understand, connect and find your narrative voice compelling.

Now, I want you to read the final paragraph of the example narrative in your additional materials.

As you're reading, discuss and annotate the following four questions.

Which phrases here show that this is the same voice of the previous two paragraphs, someone that is harsh, blunt, direct, and shameless? Number two, how does the narrator connect with the reader in this section? Number three, at the beginning of the paragraph, the narrator is taking off her shoes.

It is a while before she finally hears her husband on the phone to her best friend.

Which methods are used to build the rising action? And finally, in the final sentence, how does the narrator delay the climax of the narrative? Pause the video, get reading, get annotating.

Off you go.

Brilliant.

I hope you've enjoyed reading the rest of the response.

Let's go through what you may have discussed and annotated.

Which phrases here show that this is the same voice of the previous two paragraphs? You may have said that the phrases, "grating guffaw," "cheerless little soul," "I know I'm a hypocrite" all are in line with the harsh and blunt narrative voice of the previous two paragraphs.

We know from the final paragraph that this is the same narrator, which makes it better for our reader, more engaging, more intriguing and more compelling.

How does the narrator connect with the reader in this section? The narrator directly addresses the reader in this section using phrases such as, "I'm not fishing for your pity" and, "I know what you are thinking." This conversational register helps the reader connect to the narrator.

So if you've chosen to use a conversational register in your writing, you could also use direct address to connect with the reader.

And of course that will depend on the style of your narrator and if they would talk like that.

But it's a great way to add some depth to a narrative if it works.

Number three, at the beginning of the paragraph, the narrator is taking off her shoes.

It is a while before she finally hears her husband on the phone to her best friend.

Which methods are used to build the rising action? The plot is interspersed with the narrators inner monologue and her giving us some background information to her relationship.

This is a clever way to delay climax whilst building voice.

So when we hear about narrator not being happy that her husband's home, when we hear that she doesn't like the sound of his laugh, when we hear that he's not talking to his usual, annoying gaming friends, all of that is adding to the narrator's voice, but it's not progressing the plot.

It's actually delaying the plot.

And that can be a great way to just build a bit of tension whilst also allowing the reader to get to know your narrator even more.

And number four, in the final sentence, how does the narrator delay the climax of the narrative? So the climax is delayed all throughout the paragraph, but it's also further delayed in the final sentence of that paragraph.

And in the final sentence, there are many clauses which helps delay the climax.

The writer has cleverly interspersed a description of the woman's voice with the narrator's reaction to build suspense and drama.

So notice how the narrator describes her heart beating, her airways constricting, the fact she can't breathe.

She describes all of those things, but amongst those things is a description of the woman that her husband is talking to.

We hear that the woman has a high pitch and dramatic intonation in her voice, and all of those things allow the narrator to finally realise that that's her best friend.

So the final sentence of that narrative is constructed in a really clever way that helps you almost be at the scene with the narrator as she finds out that her husband is on the phone to her best friend.

Thank you for going through the example narrative with me.

I hope it's given you some ideas and inspiration for your own narrative.

Now it's finally time to write your very own narrative.

And I'm so excited for this part of the lesson.

I hope you are too.

You are going to write your narrative that you've been planning.

I want you to discuss, what are we aiming for in this narrative? What is our success criteria? What do we need to ensure we do for a successful response? Pause the video and discuss.

I'm so happy that you are so confident with this success criteria.

Let's go through it.

So in this narrative, you will need a strong sense of narrative voice, which is including a purposeful tone and register.

You will also need a narrative voice that is emotionally connected to the plot.

In your narrative, you should be revealing the narrator's thoughts, personality, and background that will help you to build a compelling sense of voice.

In your narrative, you'll need to develop a plot and we've said that because it's a short narrative, we'll just lead up to a climax.

We won't resolve the story in any way.

In your narrative, you are also aiming to manipulate time to engage the reader and that could be through a flashback at the beginning, describing a moment after the main events of the narrative have taken place at the beginning or it could be beginning with the climax.

In your narrative, you are also going to want to use figurative language throughout.

You can also manipulate your syntax for desired effect.

So notice how we did that in the final sentence of the example narrative.

And you are also going to want to keep a close eye on your spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Is it used accurately and is it used for effect? Discuss now, what are you most or least confident with from this list of skills? That means you can pay special attention to it when you begin to write.

Pause the video and discuss.

Perhaps one of the things you are least confident with is experimenting with a range of punctuation.

It can be hard to remember to innovate with your punctuation because you might be used to using the same types quite often.

If you know that you want to work on using ambitious punctuation, write it down in the corner of your page before you begin and it will serve as a reminder for you to innovate on your punctuation.

And that's the same for any of the things that you think you need a bit of work with.

Have it in the back of your mind whilst you're writing so that you're more likely to engage with that point.

Now let's check your understanding of what we've just talked about.

True or false? My narrative should be a constant stream of the narrator's thoughts.

Pause the video and answer that question.

It is false.

Your narrative, although it's quite firmly focused on one person and their interpretation of an event, it should not be a constant stream of the narrator's thoughts.

Now pause the video and explain why that is.

Off you go.

Now our narrative cannot be a constant stream of the narrator's thoughts because we should focus on the development of the plots, interspersing this with the narrator's thoughts, and we can also reveal the thoughts of other characters in our narrative via dialogue.

Now it's finally time to write the narrative you've planned.

I'm so excited to see what you come up with.

Aim to write three to four paragraphs for your response.

I'm going to put the success criteria on the screen for you now.

Pause the video, get writing.

I hope you enjoy this task.

Excellent job.

You've put so much effort and care into that writing and I'm sure what you've come up with is an absolute masterpiece.

You should be very proud.

Now it's time to self-assess our work.

No writing task would be complete without a reflection and maybe a bit of editing.

So self-assess your work.

I want you to reread your writing and highlight one example of where you've met each of the points on the ambitious success criteria.

Pause the video and highlight your work now, making sure you've used each of those things.

If you haven't, of course, you can add whatever you've missed in now.

Off you go.

Self-assess your work.

I now want you to annotate each example you've highlighted, explaining its intended effect on the reader.

So of course, we can use all of these techniques, but it's very important to know why you've used them.

So pause the video and annotate your response now.

Brilliant.

Here's what we've learned in today's lesson.

We do not have to get the resolution of a plot in a short story.

We can manipulate time in our narrative to give it an interesting structure.

When we manipulate time, we need to ensure we set up for the rest of the narrative to follow.

We must maintain a consistent narrative voice throughout our work.

And interspersing the plot with the narrator's inner monologue can be a clever way to build tension.

Thank you so much for joining me in today's lesson.

I hope you are proud of the brilliant writing that you've completed.

I hope you are really proud of your narrative and it's a really impressive thing to write with a compelling voice.

I hope to see you in another lesson soon.