Hello everyone.

My name's Ms. Keller and welcome to today's lesson.

In this session, we are going to be writing an extended and developed comparative response about conflict poetry.

So grab your copy of the conflict anthology and let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, we'll be able to create a written response which meets success criteria.

So let's explore today's keywords.

We have subtle, comparative vocabulary, tentative language, discourse markers, and redraft.

So do pause the video here and make sure you're familiar with all of these definitions because we're going to be using this vocabulary quite a lot in today's lesson.

But I'd just like to draw your attention to that first word there, subtle, which means less obvious, nuanced, complex, or understated.

And the reason I'm drawing your attention to the word subtle is because when it comes to writing your response, effective analysis writing aims to explore subtle connections between the poems. So we're aiming to explore these connections that are less obvious, perhaps slightly more complex.

So when it comes to writing your answer, do bear that in mind.

So how is today's lesson going to look? Well, we are going to get straight down to business in the first half, and we are going to write a response about two of your conflict poems. And then when we've got our completed response, in the second half of the lesson we are going to be reviewing it, reflecting on our approaches, and then, importantly, redrafting.

So we're going to be looking at ways that we can improve it based on the success criteria that we've identified.

So today, we are going to be answering this question, How do the poets present inner conflict in "A Poison Tree" and one other poem from the anthology? So let's start by focusing on the poem that we've been given in the question "A Poison Tree".

So grab your copy of the anthology if you haven't already, and pause the video while you take some time to read the poem carefully.

And when you've read it, I would like you to take a moment to share your ideas with the people around you or to make some notes thinking about how you would summarise this poem in one sentence.

So pause the video here and read the text as carefully as you can and think about how you're going to summarise it.

And when you're ready to feedback together, click play, and we'll carry on.

Okay, welcome back.

Some really, really fantastic summaries that I overheard that it's clear that we've all got a very good knowledge of the poem.

So here is what you could have said.

"The Speaker of Blake's 'A Poison Tree' reflects on an interpersonal conflict with another person, warning the reader that feelings of resentment, if left to fester, can become harmful to others." And when you're thinking about your summary, what makes an effective summary, is first of all, knowing what happened in the poem, which as you can see here, we have a lot of things that show a good knowledge of the poem, that it reflects on conflict with another person and warning the reader that feelings of resentment can become harmful, but also that it links to that question focus.

So if you notice the speaker of Blake's "A Poison Tree" reflects on an interpersonal conflict with another person, but then, in this second half, leads onto that idea of inner conflict because these feelings of resentment can become harmful to others.

So now it's time to choose our second poem, and here are some helpful questions to help you decide.

So which other poems focus on ideas of inner conflict? Which other poems explore similar attitudes or emotions? Which other poems have similar themes or messages to "A Poison Tree"? So take a moment to think really carefully about these three questions and decide which other poem you will choose to compare to "A Poison Tree." And a really good idea here is to turn to the contents page in your anthology because you have all of the other poems in that cluster laid out there for you to choose from.

So pause the video here while you make your decisions and when you think you've chosen, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So interestingly, I noticed lots of people making slightly different decisions.

We haven't all gone for the same poem, which is great because that means that already people are starting to form different connections between "A Poison Tree" and some of the other poems. So which poems might you have chosen then? You might have chosen "The Man He Killed" because both poems here focus on interpersonal relationships and how they can cause inner conflict for the people involved as feelings change over time, you might have chosen "Catrin" because both poems focus on the link between interpersonal conflict, and use symbolism and extended metaphors to explore the inner conflict that these relationships can cause.

Or you might have chosen "Poppies" because both poems explore how conflicted feelings can linger on in someone after they are separated from someone else.

So the most important thing to remember here is that there isn't one right answer in terms of which poem you could choose.

In theory, you could compare any two of the anthology poems. However, it's really important to make sure that when it comes to choosing, you think you have enough evidence in order to make a range of comparative points because we need to make sure that our analysis is detailed and that our comparison is detailed, and not tenuous, not weak or easily challenged.

So let's pause here and check our understanding.

When considering which poem you will compare to the one you were given, it's a good idea to consider what? So pause the video here and have a read of these four options.

And when you think you've decided which one best finishes that sentence, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back and well done to those of you who said A and D.

We should be thinking about the similar attitudes or emotions in each text and the similar messages and themes in each text.

While we can think about methods and structures, we shouldn't really be leading our response with these things.

Rather, our analysis of methods and structures or forms should be what we use to support our comparisons that we've made about the key ideas or attitudes.

Okay, so it is time for us to write our response then.

So I'd like you to answer the following question.

How do the poets present inner conflict in "A Poison Tree" and one other poem? Your response should begin with a clear thesis statement, exploring initial comparisons between the texts.

Include at least two analytical paragraphs, exploring subtle comparisons and supporting ideas with evidence from the text.

And end with a clear conclusion, summarising the points you've made and linking to the writer's intentions and/or the wider context.

So pause the video here and take as much time as you need to give this a really good go.

Perhaps think about using single-paragraph outlines in order to plan your response and make sure that you are including everything here on that bullet point list.

So pause the video and click play when you're ready for us to feedback together.

Okay, welcome back.

And a massive, massive well done.

Writing a comparative analysis is not an easy thing to do.

So the fact that you are now sat there with one in front of you is a massive, massive achievement.

And as we go through the second part of the lesson, we are going to look at perhaps ways we can improve it, but we're also going to take some time to celebrate what was really effective about it as well.

So before we move on, and while the experience is still fresh in your mind, I'd like you to consider how you felt while completing this task.

Specifically, when did you feel confident and perhaps when did you feel less confident? So do take a moment just to reflect on your feelings because sometimes I think we find it really easy to focus on our work, and perhaps what we've done, and our achievements, but we forget sometimes how the experience makes us feel.

And how we feel when we approach a task has a massive impact on our ability to complete it.

So Aisha, one of our Oak students says she felt confident when planning the response but felt a little bit stressed later on because she lost track of time and hurried to finish.

Perhaps this is something that some of you might be able to identify with as well.

And Andeep said, "I felt confident writing my thesis and making my initial comparisons.

However, I kept stopping to find my evidence for each paragraph which slowed me down." And again, some of you might be able to relate to Andeep's feelings here as well.

So actually then, our Oak students began to think to themselves, well, what can I do next time round in order to change my negative feelings? So Aisha said, "Next time, I'd make a note of key timings on my plan to ensure I stay on track while writing." So she's trying to counteract that fact that she felt perhaps a little bit stressed when she was writing it by making a note of those timings so she can keep checking how far through it she is in order to meet that deadline.

And Andeep then who said he kept stopping to find evidence for each paragraph which he felt slowed him down.

So, "Next time I'd use a single-paragraph outline to do all my planning before I start writing to avoid having to break my flow." So actually, by considering how he felt when he did the task, he was able to see perhaps I'm the sort of person that needs to plan my answer really carefully.

And that is a fantastic suggestion for most of us because a strong plan really helps to make that writing process stress-free.

So over to you then, thinking about how you felt and what you felt confident about, and perhaps less confident about, what could you do next time to feel more confident? So pause the video here while you have a think and share your ideas with the people around you or make a few notes, and when you're ready to continue, click play and we'll carry on.

Okay, so we have done the majority of the hard work because we have written our response.

So now it is time for us to review, reflect, and redraft.

And hopefully, by the end of today's lesson, we are going to identify lots of really tangible things we can do in order to improve the quality of our responses.

So in this part of the lesson then, as I've said, we're going to review, we're going to reflect on how effective our approach to each part of the response was, and redraft to make improvements.

So I'd like to start with a quick-fire discussion.

Why do you think reflecting on your work is important? Pause the video here while you share your ideas with the people around you and when you're ready for us to feedback together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

I overheard lots of fantastic responses there.

So let's just see what some of our Oak students thought about reflecting on their work.

So Sam said, "It helps us to think about what went well, but also what we could improve for next time.

It really helps us to consider the clarity of our argument and how we're expressing our ideas to the reader." So interestingly there Sam's thinking about perhaps what we can celebrate, but then also how we can improve our work.

And Sophia says, "It helps us consider the choices we've made and whether they were effective." And I think that's a really important point because sometimes when we have perhaps completed a really big piece of work like that, we perhaps celebrate the achievement that we've done it but sometimes that might mean that we overlook areas where perhaps we didn't make the most effective choices.

So that's why redrafted is super important.

So let's start by considering the structure of your response.

So your overall essay structure should look a bit like this.

Your introduction, which should move from the general to the specific.

So we're talking about the text as a whole at this point and we're beginning to pick out those specific comparisons.

And it should also include your thesis statement, which is your main overarching argument.

And then you should have between two and three comparative analytical paragraphs that make up the body of your essay.

And each one of these paragraphs should include a topic sentence, supporting detail with methods identified and analysed, links to context, and a concluding sentence.

And finally, your conclusion.

So this is where you move from the specifics.

So where you've been really getting to grips with those detailed examples and inferences back out to the general and thinking about the text again as a whole.

So this is where you summarise your main argument and the points that you've covered, and leave an impactful closing statement.

So thinking really carefully about that final point that you're making.

At this point, we're not introducing anything new, but we are perhaps trying to develop our ideas just a step further before we finish.

So take moment to review your response then.

Have you included each of these elements? And a really good idea might be to label each of these sections in your essay to work out whether or not you have included them all.

So pause the video here while you take some time to do this and click play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

So hopefully, you have included lots of these elements in your essay, but do take a moment at this point to note down any parts you're missing.

As we go through this section of the lesson and we go through all the different aspects of the essay, we're going to make a bigger list of things we need to redraft.

So see this a little bit like a to-do list for later on.

So do note down those sections you're missing at this point.

So let's start then by reflecting on the introduction in detail.

So we're thinking what makes a good introduction.

So I'd like you to discuss this question with the people around you.

So yes, what makes a good introduction? But also what is a thesis statement? Because we need to make sure we've included one.

So pause the video while you take some time to discuss this or have a think and make some notes if you're working on your own.

And when you're ready to feedback together, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So I could hear lots of really fantastic suggestions.

So let's just summarise some of the key things that make a fantastic introduction.

So first of all, it needs to provide a brief introduction to both poems in relation to the question focus.

So we need to summarise what each poem is about in terms of its key ideas to show that we've got a good understanding of the text, but that must be related to the question.

And then we also need to focus on identifying some initial similarities and differences.

So making that relationship between the text really clear to the reader and then this thesis statement.

So the thesis statement is where we set out our overarching argument and this is gonna function as the spine of our essay.

So if we imagine that this idea is gonna run all the way through our essay.

And each of our paragraphs are in the body of the essay, our analytical paragraphs, are going to almost be like a mini argument which supports this overarching idea.

So if we consider that these are our success criteria for a great introduction, it is time for you to have a think about whether or not you have included everything.

So I've highlighted some of the key things you would expect to see in an effective introduction here.

So as we've done before, go through, and perhaps label or highlight, underline, where you have included these things in your introduction.

And as before, add anything else onto your to-do list that you've perhaps not included so that we remember to add it later on.

So pause the video here while you review and reflect on your introduction, and when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So, now we have reflected on the introduction.

Let's focus on the body of the essay.

So this is the main bulk of your response.

So, as we said before, you should have somewhere between two and three of these analytical paragraphs.

So let's start off then with this first thing that we needed to include in these paragraphs, a topic sentence.

So this is our opening sentence of each paragraph.

So over to you again then for a quick discussion, what do you think makes a good topic sentence? So pause the video here while you take some time to discuss it and when you're ready to feedback together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

Again, some really, really fantastic success criteria that I heard you identifying.

So let's summarise what I overheard.

So a good topic sentence is linked to your thesis.

So linked to that overarching argument and leads with key ideas instead of feature spotting.

So what I mean here is we're leading with an analysis of the meanings, or the messages, or attitudes in the poem instead of beginning our initial comparison with something like both writers use a simile.

Because that is us feature spotting.

And while that is effective, it's actually more effective in our supporting detail because the focus of your question is always going to relate to a key idea.

So if we are leading by feature spotting, we probably aren't sticking closely to that question of focus.

A good topic sentence will use comparative language to time post similarities and differences.

So we could see things like both, and, correlative conjunctions, however, whereas, similarly, also, so really signposting that relationship between the texts.

And it also aims to explore subtle connections between the texts.

So for example, exploring differences within an initial similarity or vice versa.

So perhaps starting off by acknowledging that both poems present inner conflict in a certain way, however, the type of inner conflict that they reflect on is different.

So once again, I have highlighted the keywords and phrases from this success criteria.

So pause the video again while you take some time to reflect on the topic sentences that you've used to introduce each of your paragraphs and decide have you included everything.

So again, maybe underline, tick, or highlight where you have included these things and make a note on your to-do list of anything that you need to come back to later when we redraft.

So pause the video and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So now we have explored our topic sentences.

It's time to think about how we've supported these initial ideas with evidence from the text, and by identifying methods, and analysing a poet's use of language, form, and structure.

So I would like to hand over to you for a discussion.

Evidence should be accurate, relevant, and judiciously chosen.

So my question to you is this.

What do these three words mean, accurate, relevant, and judiciously chosen? So pause the video here while you take some time to share your ideas with the people around you or make some notes and when you are ready for us to go through it together, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So let's explore the meaning of these words then.

First of all, we have accurate.

So accurate means that your quotes are copied correctly and your interpretations are shaped by the knowledge of the rest of the text in the wider context.

It's really important when we are using evidence from the text that we don't just forget about the meaning of the rest of the poem because sometimes if we take a quote out of context, we can slightly misinterpret its meaning.

So it's really important to always be thinking about it in terms of the context of the rest of the text, but also the wider context.

So this was perhaps what we know about the writer and what we know about the time it was written or set or published.

Relevant then, evidence should support arguments made in the topic sentence and avoid that feature spotting, if we remember.

So even our analysis of methods really does need to link to that point that we are making in the topic sentence, which should, if we've linked to our thesis and we've linked our thesis to the question focus, mean that we're always focusing on the question and we're not wandering away from our original point.

And finally, judiciously chosen.

So the quote that you've chosen is the best quote to support your point, not necessarily the first quote we could remember or the first quote we've identified.

But the best quote, and what I mean by that is have you used enough of the quote to make your point? Perhaps you've used too much of the quote and wasted time copying out lines and lines of a poem where maybe you just needed to zoom in on a few keywords or a phrase.

And that's really important, that idea of zooming in.

We shouldn't really be using any evidence without doing something with it.

So always after we've used our evidence, we should really be thinking about zooming in on a small part of that quotation in order to really explore those meanings.

So as we've been doing then, here are some of the important points, what we've just discussed, have you done this? Have you included accurate, relevant, and judiciously chosen evidence? And have you really began to zoom in on it for your analysis? So underline, or highlight, or tick where you have done these things and add anything to your to-do list that we need to redraft later on.

Pause the video here and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So now we are onto the final part of our comparative analysis paragraphs.

So concluding sentence, what makes a good concluding sentence? So pause the video here while you take some time to discuss this with the people around you.

And when you're ready to continue and discuss it together, click play.

Okay, welcome back, some fantastic suggestions there.

So a good concluding sentence then will begin by summarising the comparisons you've made in the paragraph.

So it will really sum up everything that you've been discussing up until that point.

It will also consider using the opposite connection, either a similarity or difference to your topic sentence to explore subtle comparisons.

So particularly if you are using single-paragraph outlines when you are looking at what you've written for your topic sentence, it's a really good idea to try and flip it around and make the other connection at the end.

So if you've begun your topic sentence, perhaps both poems explore the inner conflict of the speaker in terms of interpersonal relationships.

By the end, when you come to conclude, you might want to think about a difference.

So yes, okay, they both explore the inner conflict of the speaker and interpersonal relationships.

However, the type of relationship that we see in each poem is different or however, the effect that this inner conflict has on the speaker is different.

And this is a good opportunity for you to link to context.

However, you should only use it if it's relevant to your argument in this paragraph.

Yes, it is important to use context in your response, but do not feel the need to bolt it onto every paragraph because actually, bolted-on context can sometimes do more harm to your essay than good because it makes it seem as though you are wandering away from your original point.

So do only use context here if it's relevant to the point you're making and if it's going to help you to discuss the writer's intentions.

If not, we'll be able to use it in the conclusion.

So don't worry too much if you can't get it into every single-paragraph.

So take a moment then, have you included everything here, thinking about what I've highlighted there in green? So underlining, highlighting as we've been doing and making a note of anything we need to add on our redrafting to-do list.

So pause the video while you take some time to review and reflect.

And when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So we are on to the final part of our response now, the conclusion.

And remember, in our conclusion, we are moving away from a specific discussions about the language, and structure, and form back to the general and thinking about the poems as a whole.

So take a moment then, what makes an effective conclusion, but also what should you avoid? So we're thinking about dos and don'ts this time.

So pause the video while you share your ideas or make some notes.

And when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So conclusion, success, criteria then.

First of all, we need to summarise the comparisons that we've made throughout the response.

So we need to start bringing all of our arguments together.

We need to consider the relationship between the texts.

Are they thematically similar, emotionally similar, similar in terms of how the ideas are conveyed.

So thinking about how they're similar, but how they're different.

We also need to consider why the poets made these creative decisions.

What do we know about their influences? Or perhaps, how is the writing shaped by the context it was written or published in, by the world that this text was born into? What did people believe? What were attitudes like at this time? And does this text uphold these beliefs or attitudes or does it challenge them? And what does that tell us about perhaps the message of the text? And finally, the most important thing we need to remember to avoid is avoid making new points or introducing new evidence here.

Your conclusion is not the place for you to be introducing any new information because without us being able to do that in an analysis paragraph, we're probably not going to cover it in enough detail.

So we really just need to focus on summarising the points we've already made.

So one last time to review and reflect then.

Have you included everything here? And make a note of anything that we need to have on our to-do list for our redrafting.

So pause the video while you review and reflect.

And when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay, so let's pause and check our understanding before we move on to redrafting.

So which of the following statements is true? So pause the video, take a read of each of these statements and when you think you've decided which one is true, click play and I'll reveal the correct answer.

Okay, welcome back and well done to those of you who said C, you should refer to context in your response, but only where it is relevant to do so.

If not, refer to it in your conclusion.

So now it is time to redraft.

So rewrite your response in light of the discussions that we've just had.

So you should have that big to-do list there as you've been making notes going through of everything that you need to add that you were missing.

So this is your time to go back and improve your response.

You should include any of those sections that you've missed out, redraft existing sections to add in anything you've missed to meet those success criteria.

And also look for opportunities to upgrade your vocabulary.

Using the vocabulary bank below for inspiration.

So there's lots of different types of words you can use here.

You've got some comparative language, we've got discourse markers to signpost the different parts of your response.

We've got some conjunctions there which allow you to add detail, perhaps by adding reasons or examples.

And finally, tentative language, which is a great way of showing that something is a personal interpretation and not a concrete fact.

Because when we're analysing a text, we need to make it clear that we are just suggesting and interpreting the text.

We're not trying to state that we know what the writer is thinking.

So pause the video here and take some time to really try to improve this response.

I like to say that no response is ever perfect.

There's always something that we can do to make it better.

So pause the video and click play when you're ready for us to feedback together.

Okay, welcome back.

So I hope that you feel that you had lots of chances to really improve your response there, and I hope you're proud of how much you've been able to develop your response just by thinking carefully about each of the sections.

And also that when you come to doing tasks like this in future, that you're going to always be trying to allow a few minutes at the end for you to review and redraft 'cause it's so important.

So let's consider Izzy's reflection on her rewritten response.

So this is what she felt after she'd done it.

"I felt that my introduction and thesis statement were both very clear and nuanced, which gave me a strong foundation for my analytical paragraphs later on.

However, I think that my conclusion had wandered away from my original focus so when I redrafted, I focused on drawing out the comparisons I'd made throughout the response and considering how my knowledge of the wider context helped to shape my interpretations of the ideas and attitudes conveyed in each text." So she'd identified when she was reviewing that the conclusion was a section she really needed to focus on.

And in doing so, and by adding in the things that she was able to note down from that success criteria, she's now been able to summarise her ideas much more clearly and make those all-important links to the wider context.

So over to you for one final discussion.

So have a look at the changes that you've made and share some of those changes with the people around you.

Which of the changes do you think has had the most impact and has made the most effect in terms of improving your response? So pause the video here and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, so we have made it to the end of today's lesson and a massive, massive well done for all your hard work today, you have produced a comparative analysis response, which is a massive, massive, massive achievement.

So you should be really proud of yourselves.

So let's just summarise what we've covered in today's lesson.

An excellent introduction could start with a brief summary of each poem.

An introduction should then have a more specific statement about the focus of the question followed by a thesis.

Topic sentences need to be clear, comparative, and linked to the question.

Comparative vocabulary should be used to compare language, form, and structure of poems. And context can be used to develop arguments.

So thank you very much for joining me and I hope that you feel a lot more confident when it comes to writing an effective developed response on conflict poetry.

Have a fantastic day and I hope to see you all again soon.