Hello everyone, my name's Ms. Keller, and I'm so glad you could join me for today's lesson.

In this session, we are going to be exploring how to plan and write an effective response to Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol." So grab your copy of the text and let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, we will be able to create a written response which meets test criteria.

So let's explore today's keywords.

We have subtle, feature-spotting, tentative language, discourse markers and redraft.

So do take a moment to familiarise yourself with all of these words 'cause we are going to be encountering them quite frequently in today's lesson.

But before you do, I would just like to zoom in on that second word there, feature-spotting because it's a really important misconception that we should be aware of.

So feature-spotting means leading an analytical paragraph by identifying methods or techniques used by a writer.

So a sentence starter, which would include feature-spotting might be Dickens uses a simile to show.

Now this is a valid response, but it isn't the most effective way to begin a paragraph.

We should always aim to begin our analytical paragraphs by exploring the writer's key ideas and then we can use our analysis of methods or techniques to support that.

So bear that in mind as we go along and write our responses.

So how is today's lesson going to look? Well, we are going to get straight down to planning and writing a response.

And then when we've done that, we are going to take some time to carefully review and reflect on the response that we've produced against some success criteria.

And then we're gonna have a go at redrafting and seeing if we can improve the quality of our written answer.

So today we're going to be answering this question, how does Dickens present poverty and social responsibility in this extract and in the novel as a whole? So let's start by focusing on the extract that we've been given as part of our question.

So the extract that we've been given has been taken from Stave three of the novella, and you can find a copy of this extract in the additional materials.

So take some time to read through the extract carefully.

And then when you've done that, I would like you to have a go at summarising what happens in the extract.

So pause at the video here, take as much time as you need to do that and when you are ready for us to feedback together, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So I hope you had a chance to get to grips with the extract there.

So how would we summarise what is happening at this part of the text? Well, you might have said that this extract highlights the challenges of poverty faced by the Cratchit family, but ultimately demonstrates the happiness that they find in simple pleasures and spending time with one another.

So notice here how this summary is focusing on the characters and the scene that we witness, I.

e, seeing the Cratchit's living and celebrating Christmas in poverty, but it's also starting to unpick perhaps Dickens's message behind this scene.

So the idea that it's demonstrating the happiness that the Crachit's are finding in simple pleasures.

So now we've read through the extract, let's annotate it, highlighting useful quotes that we might be able to use later when we come to writing our response.

So let's use our summary from the previous page to build a list of things that we need to identify.

So the important things that came out this summary, the idea that the extract highlighted the challenges of poverty faced by the Cratchit's, the ultimately the happiness that they found in simple pleasures and spending time with one another.

So let's use these as the two things we should look for when we are annotating the extract.

So just take a moment to reread this part of the text from Stave three and highlight and annotate any of these things that show the challenges of poverty or these moments of joy.

Pause the video here and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, so let's start by focusing on how Dickens depicts the challenges of poverty in this extract.

So just start by taking a moment to share your ideas with the people around you, or to have a read through the notes that you've made when you are annotating the text and select which of your annotations you think particularly highlight the challenges faced by the Cratchit's.

So pause the video here and click play when you're ready for us to discuss it together.

Okay, welcome back.

So let's explore how Dickens uses language to depict the challenges of poverty.

So you might have selected the moment in the extract where we see Tiny Tim enter the room.

And Dickens describes how his active little crutch was heard on the floor, so really emphasising the struggles that Tiny Tim faces in order to simply to get about.

You also might have focused on the Cratchit's shabby dress.

So one example quotation of that is Bob turning up his cuffs as if poor fellow, they were capable of being made more shabby.

So Dickens is using their physical appearance to really demonstrate to us the challenges of poverty.

We have also got the idea that the Cratchit's are excited by having a cheaper meat, a goose instead of a Turkey.

And we had that quotation, "Such a bustle ensued that you might have thought a goose the rarest of all birds." So although they're not eating the most luxurious food, to them it is luxurious and they are still extremely excited at the privilege of getting to enjoy this meal.

And then finally, the young Crachit's, they're so excited to enjoy their Christmas dinner, which suggests that this is not something that the Crachit's are able to do every day.

And in fact, perhaps they're not able to do it more than once a year.

And a good quotation that demonstrates this is crammed spoons into their mouths, lest they should shriek for goose before their turn came to be helped.

So the young Crachit's are really struggling to control their excitement here.

So now let's move on to moments of joy and happiness.

So over to you again then take a moment to share your responses or review your annotations and select which words and phrases particularly highlight the happiness and joy that the Crachit's are experiencing in simple pleasures.

So pause the video here and click play when you're ready for us to feed back together.

Okay, welcome back.

So let's explore some key moments in the extract then.

So you may have selected how the Crachit's play jokes on each other.

For example, when Bob enters, Martha hides and originally he doesn't think that she's there, but Martha didn't like to see him disappointed if it were only a joke.

So they are playing jokes on each other, and trying to make each other laugh.

But also they have such a strong relationship that Martha isn't even able to go through with the joke because she doesn't like to see her father disappointed.

We also have this idea that they love each other deeply.

So Bob had hugged his daughter to his heart's content.

They're clearly a very close family who value their relationships with one another, and the time that they get to spend together.

And then also they are excited and delighted by their dinner.

So Dickens really builds up this atmosphere of joy, and excitement throughout this scene.

One murmur of delight arose all around the board, so everybody is happy and they can't wait to eat their meal.

So now we need to identify relevant examples from the rest of the novella that link to some of these quotations and examples that we've already pulled out.

So can you think of any examples linked to either the challenges of poverty, and or the joy gained from simple pleasures from the rest of "A Christmas Carol?" So if you haven't already, do go and grab your copy of the text.

So pause the video here while you have a think and click play when you're ready for us to discuss it together.

Okay, so welcome back.

Examples from the rest of the novella that we could have selected then.

So you may have selected Bob and Scrooge's interaction from Stave one where Scrooge forces Bob to work in a freezing office and is reluctant to allow him time off for Christmas.

Also, in Stave one, you may have selected Scrooge's refusal to donate to charity when he is visited by the portly gentleman 'cause arguably this highlights the plight of the poor and wealthy people's lack of sympathy for them.

And then later on in the novella, you may have chosen the depictions of poor people celebrating Christmas in Stave three.

So we have the scenes depicting the miners Christmas, and the light housekeepers Christmas.

Both are living in horrendous conditions, but they also like the Cratchit's find joy in simple pleasures such as a fire, singing and spending time together.

And then also in Stave three we have the introduction of the character's ignorance and want.

And the ghost of Christmas present shows Scrooge two feral children, symbolising society's ignorance and suffering.

So before writing your response, it's a good idea to plan and this will help your response to say focus, and linked to your thesis.

So your overall argument throughout.

So it'll make sure that you're sticking really closely to that question focus and you're not wandering away with your response.

So your overall essay structure should look something like this.

You should begin with an introduction and then your first, second and third points will form the body of your response.

And then you should end with a conclusion.

So in your introduction, you should move from the general to the specific.

So you should begin by showing that you have a good knowledge of the novella, perhaps giving a very brief overview in relation to the question.

And here you include your thesis statement.

So you set down your overall argument.

And then in these three main points that you make, you should include with each one a topic sentence, supporting detail, identifying methods and analysing Dickens use of language, any relevant links to context and a concluding sentence for each, summarising everything you've said in each paragraph.

And then for your conclusion, you move from the specific back out to the general.

So you're summarising your main arguments and the points that you've made and leaving an impactful closing statement.

And here it's a really good idea to think about links to wider context and links to the writer's intentions and perhaps reader interpretations of the text.

So let's pause here and check our understanding so far.

Once you've annotated the extract and identified key quotes, you should what? So take a look at these four options and decide which one you think best completes this sentence.

Pause the video, and when you are ready for me to reveal the correct answer, click play.

Okay, welcome back and well done to those of you who said C, you should identify relevant examples from the rest of the novella because remember you will need to select some examples from the extract, but also from the novel or the novella as a whole.

So now it's time for the first task of the lesson, and this task is split into two parts.

So for the first part, we are going to plan our response to this question.

So I've put a reminder of that question there at the top, and I have also put the information we were just discussing about an effective way for you to structure your response.

So what I would like you to do is spend some time making notes about what you will include for each section and use those top tips there on the right to make sure you are including everything that you need to.

So pause the video here while we think really carefully about how you're going to structure your response and make your notes.

And when you are ready for us to feedback together, click play and we'll continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So here is an example then, for your introduction, you could have said Dickens presents the poor as struggling with poverty, but finding joy in simple pleasures.

And it contrasts material hardship with emotional wealth to critique Victorian societal attitudes towards poverty.

And then for the three points, I have chosen to structure point one and two about the extract.

And then point three, I've shifted out to the rest of the novella.

So for point one, I was focusing on the Crachit family's tumble Christmas meal of the goose and how this emphasises that such a simple meal can bring this family such joy.

And the evidence that I was gonna use in this paragraph to support that is the youngest Crachit's excitement at the food.

And then for the second point then, the Crachit's family bond, which I think compensates for their lack of material wealth.

And the evidence that I had for that was Martha's practical joke, and Bob's worry for Tiny Tim.

So we've got this idea that the family have really strong bonds with one another and this helps them to overcome the challenges faced by their poverty.

And then point three, so from the rest of the novella.

So Dickens contrasts the Cratchit's joy and Scrooge's isolated cold existence before his transformation.

So the evidence that I had here was Scrooge's refusal to the charity collectors in stage one versus his reaction to ignorance and want, because we've actually got the parallel of the language that she used there because the ghost actually repeats Scrooge's words to him, are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? So here I was gonna use Scrooge as a contrasting figure to the Crachit's.

And then as a conclusion, Dickens is encouraging his wealthy readers that social responsibility and compassion towards the poor can bring joy and happiness.

So now we've had a chance to plan our response.

We need to think really carefully about whether we've included all the things we need to.

So in your introduction, have you included a thesis statement? Have you made notes for the main body of your response on the evidence that you're going to use for each point? And does your conclusion link to Dickens's intentions, or the wider context? So just take a moment to check that you've included these things in your plan.

Okay, so now we've got a solid plan.

It's time for you to write your response to the question.

So here is the question again just to remind you and here is a list of things that you should make sure you include in your response.

So do bear these things in mind while you are writing.

So pause the video here, and take as much time as you need to produce the most detailed response that you can.

And when you're finished writing, click play and we'll go through it together.

Welcome back.

So first of all, well done.

Writing an extended response about a literary text is not an easy thing to do, but you have done it, so congratulations.

So now what I'd like you to do while it's still fresh in your mind is consider how you felt while completing this task.

When did you feel confident and when did you feel less confident? So just pause the video for a moment and have a think, and make some notes.

And when you're ready for us to discuss it together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So I hope you've had some time to reflect.

So let's see what some of our Oak students thought and felt after they had completed this task.

So Aisha said, "I felt confident when planning the response, but felt a little stressed later on because I lost track of time and hurried to finish." And Andeep said, "I felt confident writing my thesis and making initial points about the extracts.

However, I had to stop and find evidence from the rest of the novella, which slowed me down." So I wonder how these things compare to your initial reflections about completing the task.

So after these initial reflections, Aisha and Andeep thought really carefully about how they could slightly change their approach next time in order to avoid these moments where they felt less confident.

So Aisha decided that next time she'd make a note of key timings on her plan to ensure that she stayed on track while she was writing.

And Andeep decided the next time he'd use a multiple paragraph outline to do all of the planning for his entire response before he started writing.

And that way he could avoid breaking his flow.

So over to you for one final reflection task in this part of the lesson.

What could you do next time to feel more confident, and avoid those moments perhaps where you felt a bit challenged? So pause the video here and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, so we've made it to the halfway point of today's lesson.

We've got our response and now it's time for us to review, reflect, and redraft in order to improve the quality of our answer.

So at this point you may want to grab yourself some different coloured pens in order to be able to mark up your work as we go along.

So in this part of the lesson then we're going to be reviewing a response then reflecting on how effective each part of the response was, and then redrafting to make improvements.

So why do we think it's so important to reflect on our work? So pause the video for a quick fire discussion, or to make a few notes.

And when you are ready for us to feedback together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So why is reflecting on our work so important? Well, arguably it helps us to think about what went well, also what we could improve for next time.

And it really helps us to consider the clarity of our argument and how we are expressing our ideas to the reader.

Because when we're no longer answering, we don't have that pressure of trying to complete the task.

So it allows us to take a step back and really, really look at the structure of our response.

And as Sophia says, it also helps us to consider the choices we made and whether or not they were effective.

So it is just as important for us to see what we did really well and what was effective versus perhaps which bits we didn't need or which bits needed more detail in order to be a useful contribution to our argument.

So we're gonna start off by considering the structure of our responses.

So just a reminder of what we were talking about earlier then.

So your overall structure should look something like this with the introduction, then your main body and then the conclusion.

So take a moment to review your response, and see if you can mark off where you've included each of these elements.

So pause at the video here and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, welcome back.

So did you manage to include each of these elements in your response? If not, don't worry, but do make a note of any parts that you are missing for when we come to redraft later on.

And as we go through this part of the lesson, we're going to be creating this almost to-do list for when we get to our redrafting.

So if there's anything at any point that you think you should have included that you didn't, make sure you are ready to make a note of it.

So now let's reflect on each part of the response in detail, starting with the introduction.

So over to you then, what makes a good introduction? So pause the video here, take some time to think, discuss it, and when you're ready for us to feedback together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So let's summarise some of the great responses that I overheard there.

So you might have said a good introduction provides a brief introduction to the overarching message of the novella in relation to the question focus, identifying initial examples and considering how they drive the message.

So just thinking about the key information there.

So this link to the overarching message of the novella, the link to the question focus, and then the link to those initial examples and their significance.

Have you included all of these things in your introduction? Take some time to reread it.

If not, don't worry.

Add it onto our list of things that we're going to do when we come to redraft.

So pause the video here while you review your introduction and when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay, so moving on to the main body then.

So this is where we're gonna consider these main points that we've made in the bulk of our essay.

So over to you again for another quick fire discussion then, what can we do to ensure each part of an analytical paragraph is effective? So we're thinking really carefully about that stuff above there, the topic sentence, the supporting detail, and the concluding sentence.

So pause the video here and click play when you're ready for us to discuss it together.

Okay, welcome back.

Lots of fantastic suggestions there.

So let's just think about each part of the paragraph then.

So for a topic sentence, things that we want to make sure we're including, it needs to link to our thesis statement.

It needs to avoid feature spotting.

So that idea we were talking about at the beginning there with leading with the technique, when really we should be aiming to lead with key ideas and then support with our analysis.

And then also it's really effective to use evaluative words.

So these are words like effectively or dramatic because they add a bit of extra detail to our argument.

So over to the supporting detail then, so it's really important that our quotes are accurately copied and that we make sure we're not adding bits in that wasn't in the original text.

Also, it's really important that our evidence links to that topic sentence, we need to make sure that our evidence does support the point that we are making.

And then it's a really good idea to try to zoom in on keywords and phrases.

So we include our quotation, and then before we go into our analysis, we pick out some words or phrases which really help to prove that point.

And then with the concluding sentence then, it's really important to summarise the points that we've made in that paragraph.

If we're going to use context in this paragraph, it's really important that we only use it where it's relevant.

So don't feel the need to have to bolt some context onto every paragraph.

It's really important to use it in the response as a whole, but it doesn't need to be in every paragraph.

So if you don't know any contextual information that's relevant to the point that you are making, perhaps save that opportunity for another paragraph later on.

You'll always have an opportunity to use it in your conclusion.

And then the final thing that makes for a really great concluding sentence is link to the other parts of the novella if you can.

So if you can think of another moment from the rest of the novella that's relevant to the point you're making, perhaps use this opportunity to link to it.

So again, as we did before, have a look at all the top tips in this table and review your main points.

Have you included everything from this list? And if not, don't worry.

Remember to add it onto the list of things we're going to include when we come to redrafting.

So pause the video here while you reflect on the main body of your response and click play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, so now we are on to the final part of our response, the conclusion.

So over to you once again then, what makes an effective conclusion and what should you avoid doing in your conclusion? So pause the video here or you have a think, discuss it and when you're ready for us to discuss it together, click play.

Okay, welcome back.

So let's explore what makes an effective conclusion, and what we should avoid.

So first of all, then the conclusion is where you summarise the points you've made throughout your response.

So make sure that you are linking back to all the great ideas that you've included, but make sure you are doing so briefly because we don't want to be restating our points in as much detail as we did the first time.

You should also consider the themes and the messages in the text because remember, you are moving from the specific to the general.

So we're talking about the text as a whole once again.

So how do the examples that you've identified drive or reinforce these themes or messages? That's a really good question to consider at the end of your response.

Also, you should consider why the writer made the creative decisions that they did.

So this is where it becomes an opportunity for you to comment on your contextual knowledge.

So what do you know about their influences? How was their writing shaped by the context it was written or published in? So this is where you can think about what you know about Charles Dickens, and also what you know about the Victorian era.

And finally, it's really important to avoid making new points or introducing new evidence here.

Your conclusion is just a place to summarise.

So as we've done before then, have you included everything here? And if not, make a note on your list for redrafting.

Pause the video while you review your conclusion and when you're ready for us to continue, click play.

Okay, so now it's time for us to pause, and check our understanding.

So which of the following statements is true? So take a moment, pause the video and review the statement.

And when you think you've decided, click play and I'll reveal the correct answer.

Okay, welcome back and well done to those of you who said C, you should refer to context in your response, but only where it's relevant to do so.

And if not, remember you've always got that opportunity to refer to it in the conclusion.

So now we're onto the final task of today's lesson, and this is where your notes, that list that we've been building in this path of the lesson is going to become valuable.

So review the notes that you've made about the things that you need to include.

Which area of your response would most benefit from being redrafted? Because we are just going to focus on one key area today.

So select one of the things on your list, and rewrite this section of your response in light of the discussions that we've had.

So including everything we discussed when we were focusing on that section.

So important things to remember while you are redrafting.

First of all, you need to think carefully about how to make this part of the response most effective.

So really taking on board those tips we discussed, you should look for opportunities to upgrade your vocabulary using this vocabulary banks.

We've got lots of good adjectives and adverbs helping to use that evaluative language.

We've got some discourse markers to signpost different parts of your response.

We've got some conjunctions to help strengthen your argument and some tentative language to show that this is your interpretation of the text and to avoid stating your interpretations as concrete facts.

So do try to include as much of this vocabulary as you can.

So pause the video while you take this time to rewrite the section of your response.

And when you're finished, click play and we'll go through it together.

Okay, welcome back.

So I hope you had a chance there to really reflect on that part of your response, and I hope you feel really pleased with the improvements that you've made.

So here's Izzy's reflection on her rewritten response.

So she said, "I felt that my introduction and thesis statement were both very clear and nuanced, which gave me a strong foundation for my analytical paragraphs later on.

However, I think that my conclusion had wandered away from my original focus.

So when I redrafted, I focused on drawing out the examples I'd made throughout the response and considering how my knowledge of the wider context helped to shape my interpretations of the ideas and attitudes conveyed in the text." So through redraft in there, Izzy was able to really strengthen that conclusion and getting that important contextual information.

So one final challenge for you today then, which of the changes that you made in your section today do you think has had the most impact to your response overall? So pause the video while you reflect on those changes that you've made and decide which one you think was most impactful.

And when you're ready to continue, click play.

Okay.

So you've made it to the end of today's lesson and a massive, massive well done for all your hard work today.

Writing an extended response about a literary text isn't an easy thing to do, and redrafting really does take a lot of hard work and a very perceptive eye.

So well done for giving that such a good go.

So let's summarise what we've covered today.

An excellent introduction could start with a brief summary of the text and its overarching message.

It should then have a specific statement about the focus of the question followed by a thesis, an overarching argument.

Topic sentences need to be clear, linked to the question and led by key ideas and not feature-spotting.

Context can be used to develop arguments and an effective conclusion will summarise key points in the response and consider the writer's intentions.

Thanks for joining me today everyone, and I hope that you feel this lesson has really helped you to write an extended response.

Have a fantastic day and I look forward to seeing you all again soon.