Hello and welcome to the lesson.

Thank you so much for joining me.

I'm Mrs. Butterworth and I will be guiding you through the learning.

Now, today's lesson, we'll be focusing on our descriptive writing, more specifically how we craft our sentences to create precise effects.

Now, this lesson also looks at "Asha And The Spirit Bird" for inspiration, so you'll need to make sure you have your copy of that text.

In particular, we're going to be looking at the pages 133 to 134.

So you might want to find them now.

So we're all ready to go.

Great.

Let's get started.

So in this lesson, you will create varied and interesting sentences.

So before we delve into the lesson, there are a few key terms and words that we just need to be aware of that will help with our understanding.

So these words are adjective, preposition, precise, clause, and embedded.

Now, let's look at the definitions for these words.

So an adjective is a word that describes a noun or a pronoun.

So it will add information to that noun.

A preposition is a word that connects a noun, a noun phrase, or a pronoun to another word.

So we think of a preposition, like a connecting word.

Now, to be precise means to be exact and accurate.

And this is exactly what we want to be with our language.

We want to choose the best words to be exact and precise.

Clause is a group of words that contain a subject and a verb.

So sentences will include a clause and embedded is existing or firmly attached within something or under a surface.

And we talk about embedding clauses in this lesson.

Now, don't worry if these definitions feel a bit tricky.

As we go through the lesson and as you start using some of these things like using adjectives and preposition, you'll find that you understand what they are much better.

So don't worry, as we go through the lesson, you will totally get a handle on these, I promise.

So let's keep going.

So the outline of our lesson looks like this.

We're going to start by considering using multiple adjectives to really develop our descriptions.

We're then going to move on to using prepositions and then finishing up with using embedded clauses.

So lots to be getting on with, but lots to make our writing really fantastic.

So let's start with those adjectives.

So today we are going to be using the text, "Asha And The Spirit Bird," and the description of the tiger.

Now this can be found on pages 133 to 134, so it might be worth just finding that, so you've got that to reference.

And we're going to use that as our starting point for crafting structures, sentence structures for precise effect.

But first, I want us to think about this lovely image.

We've got a tiger there, skulking through the grass, and I'd like you to discuss what adjectives first come to mind when you think of a tiger.

Now remember, adjectives will describe the tiger, okay? So pick those really good adjectives.

Okay, pause the video so you've got time to come up with your list.

You may want to discuss this, think quietly to yourself or even jot down a few adjectives.

Okay, pause video.

Off you go.

(no audio) Lovely, some really fantastic suggestions coming through there.

Let's just share some of those brilliant ideas.

So we've got orange, beautiful, striped, and fierce, some really great adjectives there.

Now, Bilan uses the following words to describe the tiger: Prowling, Amber striped, golden, heavy, taut, slow.

What a lovely collection of words.

But what I would like you to do is I'd like you to see if you can identify the adjectives among these words.

So have a little look through again, which of those words would be considered adjectives.

What do you think? Okay, so who's feeling confident? Should we have a look? So yes, actually they're all adjectives except prowling.

Now prowling is a verb because it's describing a movement or an action.

So the tiger is prowling and also that ING gives us a clue that it is a verb.

All of those other lovely words, they are all adjectives that can be used or are used to describe the tiger.

Now, Bilan uses adjectives to describe the tiger's skin, shoulder, and eyes.

Now, to describe the skin, Bilan uses three adjectives, but she splits them up, separating with them with the noun, skin, and a verb, flashing.

So maybe have a look at that sentence in your text now.

And I'd like you to discuss how is splitting the adjectives up more effective than using them all in sequence.

So look at how those adjectives are working here at the start.

So it's golden, amber, striped skin.

So just those three adjectives before the noun.

How is the way Bilan does it by separating the adjectives more effective? Okay, so pause the video so you can discuss your ideas.

Off you go.

(no audio) Great, lovely.

So lots of you agreed with our pupil here.

There are actually two objectives in front of a noun, gives you plenty of extra detail.

But however, having three together, so like the golden, amber, striped skin, it seems a bit clunky, doesn't it? So you can see the difference there.

The two just gives you just the right amount of description, but three can start to make it sound a bit clunky.

Whilst it's effective to use only two adjectives in front of a noun, we can actually use three adjectives at the end of a sentence for effect.

So look at this example.

The tiger had skin that was soft, amber and striped.

That sounds lovely, doesn't it? So here the use of multiple adjectives adds information about the texture, colour, and appearance of the skin in order to help the reader to picture the animal without the description becoming excessive.

Or as Laura said on the previous slide, clunky.

So it's important to consider how many adjectives you are using, but also where you are using those adjectives.

So which one of the following statements is true? I'd like you to pick A, B, or C.

(no audio) Is everyone ready for the answer? Okay, here we go.

The answer is B.

Using two adjectives in front of a noun is arguably the most effective.

And then obviously we can use the three after the noun to add an extra description.

So what I would like you to do is I would like you to add an extra adjective to Bilan's description of the tiger's green eyes, and then I would like you to write a short explanation of why you have picked your chosen adjective and how does it add to the description.

So remember, you are looking at pages 133 and 134 in your texts.

So I want you to add to that description of the green eyes and then write a short explanation as to why you have chosen your adjective.

Okay, pause the video so you've got plenty of time to do this.

Can't wait to see what you come up with.

Off you go.

(no audio) Thank you everyone.

Some excellent suggestions there.

Let's just look at Izzy's example.

So Izzy said, and chose these adjectives: Clever, green eyes, and this is her explanation.

"I chose clever for the eyes because I wanted people to see that it is a conscious being." Now that's a really lovely explanation, but I want us to consider Izzy's choice of adjective.

Now, we don't generally hear people's eyes described as clever.

Can you think of a synonym to help Izzy? So you might want to pause the video to discuss your ideas.

Okay, off you go.

(no audio) Yes.

Great.

So lots of you come up with this word, intelligent.

So intelligent, green eyes sounds much more effective, doesn't it, than clever green eyes.

Okay, so we are moving on to the second part of our lesson, and this lesson is all about using prepositions.

So let's revisit that definition of our prepositions.

So prepositions indicate relationship between words in a sentence, they often tell you where something is or when it happened.

So why might this be useful in our descriptive writing? So I'd like you to discuss why might using prepositions be effective in descriptive writing? So pause the video so you've got plenty of time to discuss your ideas.

Okay, pause the video and off you go.

(no audio) Great, so how many of you agree with our pupil, Laura here, who said, "Letting us know the relationship between words might help us visualise, might help us better visualise the scene?" That's a great idea there, Laura.

So let's see how this works in using prepositions.

So we're going to return to Bilan's description of the tiger.

Now, Bilan writes that the tiger is positioned in front of the glowing fire.

In response to the tiger Asha shuffles forward.

We are told that the tiger prowls towards the opening to the shelter.

What I would like you to do is looking at those sentence again, can you identify the prepositions in the above descriptions? Okay, what do we think? Okay, fantastic.

He thinks I've got it right.

Yes, so in front of, forward and towards are our prepositions.

So I wanna go a little bit further with this and I want us to consider the effects of these prepositions.

So in front of the fire and the narrator, Asha, shuffles forward.

So I want you to discuss how these prepositions, so in front and forward, how do these prepositions shape our perception of the tiger? What do we think? So pause the video so you can discuss your ideas or think quietly to yourself.

I can't wait to share some answers.

Okay, off you go.

(no audio) Wow, some really thoughtful suggestions there.

Thank you.

So let's just see what Sam says.

So our pupil, Sam, says, "They make me think that the tiger isn't a threat because Asha can clearly see it and she's going towards it." Yes, absolutely.

So yeah, that idea about shuffling forward really helps us to understand and create a perception of the tiger.

So that's a really great idea, Sam.

Thank you.

So true or false time.

"Preposition tells us the relationship between words in a sentence." Is that true or false? Well done.

That's true.

Now justify your answer, picking A or B.

Okay, ready? The answer is A, "They tell us where something is or when it happened." Well done to everyone that picked A.

So we're onto our second practise task.

Now, I want you to imagine that the tiger was prowling behind the fire and the narrator took steps backwards away from the tiger.

And I'd like you to discuss, please, what effect does the description now have on the reader? How might these new prepositions change our perception of the tiger? Now the most important thing is, is that you explain your reasoning.

So you explain how you came to those conclusions.

Okay, are we ready? Excellent.

Pause the video so you can discuss your answers to those questions.

You may wish to think quietly to yourself or even write down a few answers.

Okay, ready? And off we go.

(no audio) Okay, fantastic.

So let's just share some feedback.

So what I would like you to do is I would like you to compare your ideas to that of the Oak pupils.

And I'd like you to think whether you agree or disagree, why or why not.

So we have our, we have Lucas here who says, "Changing the tiger's position to behind the fire makes it seem more threatening because we wouldn't be able to see it properly." And Jacob says, "Yes, and Asha stepping backwards makes it seem as if she wants to get away from the tiger, which indicates she's scared." So just take a few moments to read through those pupils' statements and decide, do you agree, why or why not? Off you go.

(no audio) Okay, brilliant work everyone.

We're really getting the hang.

We're really getting the hang of some of these ideas.

So that's fantastic.

So we're now going to move on to our final part of the lesson where we're going to be thinking about using embedded clauses.

So final part of the lesson to go, we've done some fantastic work already, so let's keep going.

Now, an embedded clause is a clause that appears within a main clause.

So let's look a bit further.

An embedded clause does not make sense on its own, and its purpose is to add extra information to the main clause.

So let's look at an example.

So for example, if we wrote, "The enormous tiger, licking its lips hungrily fixed its narrow eyes upon me," you can see that embedded clause in the middle there.

So "The enormous tiger, licking its lips hungrily, fixed its narrow eyes upon me." So now we've looked at that example, I want you to see if you can spot an embedded clause.

So which of the following are examples of sentences with embedded clauses? A, B, C? Pick your answers and off you go.

(no audio) Okay, shall we have a look at the answers? Okay, brilliant.

Some of you seeming very confident, so that's good.

So great.

So our sentences with embedded clauses are A and C.

So let's just read through those together.

So you can see here, "The house which seemed to swallow the entire street had sprawling gardens." So another thing to notice with embedded clauses, it has those two commas around it just to demarcate where that embedded clause is.

That's quite a good way, quite a good hint for looking for embedded clauses.

Like if we look at, like, if we look at the example in C, "The teacher, a woman of perhaps 40 or 50." So again, you can see those commas around that embedded clause, "Strode into the classroom with her nose in the air." So you can see how those embedded clauses can be used to add extra, to add extra description, but also create interest in your sentences.

So I'd like you to discuss now, how do the embedded clauses enhance a description? So let's read these sentences together and then you can go and discuss your answers.

So, "The house which seemed to swallow the entire street had sprawling gardens." And then, "The teacher, a woman of perhaps 40 or 50 strode into the classroom with her nose in the air." Okay, so pause the video and discuss, how do the embedded clauses enhance the descriptions? Brilliant, some really lively discussions there.

Thank you so much for your contribution.

So let's just feed back some of those ideas.

So Aisha has, says here, "They give us more information about the nouns.

So for example, the house and the teacher." Excellent, and I love how Aisha here has identified the nouns as well.

"They enable us to more easily imagine the appearances of these nouns." Absolutely.

And this is our job, isn't it? As descriptive writers, is that we need to be able to bring these descriptions to life for our reader.

We want them to be able to easily imagine what it is we are describing so we can start to see how these embedded clauses can really help us as writers, help the audience, help the reader to really see what it is we are describing.

Okay, so which of the following statements is true? A, B, C? Pick your answer.

Okay.

And the answer is A.

"An embedded clause add extra information." Now let's just look a little bit closer at the wrong answers.

So you'll see here, "An embedded clause makes sense on its own." It's actually the opposite.

So an embedded clause wouldn't make sense on its own.

It relies on the main clause to make sense.

"And an embedded clause is found at the beginning of a sentence." Again, this is incorrect because an embedded clause is found in the middle of a sentence, is embedded in the sentence.

And again, that's where we look for those two commas to show that clause embedded in the sentence.

Okay, so we are on our third practise task or task C.

And what I would like you to do is I would like you now to think about creating an embedded clause, and then I would like you to add the embedded clause to the following sentence, inspired by Bilan's description of the tiger.

So you're going to add your own embedded clause to the following sentence.

"It lowers its huge head gradually and greets my firm gaze with its blazing emerald eyes." Now remember with embedded clauses, embedded clauses go within a sentence, okay? So it's important you think about where that embedded clause is.

Embedded clauses can have brackets, dashes, or commas around them.

Embedded clauses add extra information.

And when you have crafted and created your embedded clause, I'd like you please to explain why you have chosen it and what effect does this extra information have on the reader.

So just a couple of sentences to explain your choices and the effect that the extra information has on the reader.

Okay, so you have got everything you need to complete this task.

You'll just need to pause the video in a moment so you've got plenty of time to complete it.

Okay, pause the video and off you go.

(no audio) Fantastic work everyone.

I love how some of you are really considering your language choices as well.

So as well as creating that embedded clause, you are also carefully thinking about your adjectives and all of that kind of stuff, so fantastic.

So let's just share some responses.

So Jun has said, and this is Jun's work that, "I wanted to create a threatening sinister environment.

And a swishing tail can indicate that an animal is feeling angry." So let's look at Jun's sentence and see what we think.

"It lowers its huge head gradually, swishing its tail lightly with a menacing air, and greets my firm gaze with its blazing emerald eyes." Now discuss, Jun wanted to create an angry, threatening feel.

Do you think lightly is the best choice of word? What might we replace it with? So pause the video so we can discuss some of those ideas.

Off you go.

(no audio) Okay, great.

So I've picked up on one of those words and I've replaced it with sharply.

So let's just the sentence through again and see how that language change impacts the sentence.

So, "It lowers its huge head gradually, swishing its tail sharply with a menacing air and greets my firm gaze with its blazing emerald eyes." So that's great, isn't it? So you can see how that language choice really changes that embedded clause.

So well done everyone.

We have reached the end of the lesson and we have created and crafted some really beautiful sentences considering our structures for precise effect.

So I'm really happy with everything we've achieved.

Now let's just remind ourselves of everything that we have done and everything that we have learned.

We know that using two adjectives in front of a noun creates a detailed description.

Using three adjectives at the end of a sentence creates a multi-layered description.

Prepositions indicate relationship between words in a sentence and may help us better understand and visualise a scene.

Embedded clauses add extra information and detail to a scene that help us better understand and visualise it.

Wow, we have done a lot today, haven't we? Again, thank you so much for your hard work.

I hope you'll join me again for another lesson.

I can't wait.

Until then, goodbye.

(no audio).