Lesson video

Hi there.

Welcome to our lesson today, a lesson in our unit, "Step Into The Unknown." My name is Mr. Barnsley and it's so great to see you today.

Thank you so much for joining me as we prepare to write detailed descriptions based on an image.

Okay, I think it's time to get started.

Let's go.

So our outcome today, you are gonna write a description using a wide range of language devices as well as punctuation and sentence types chosen for effect.

Basically, you are gonna be putting everything you've learned about descriptive writing together today.

So our five key words are sensory language, eerie, atmosphere, unsettling, and reflection.

So we know we want to use lots of sensory language in our writing, and that's language that uses the five senses to evoke a mental image in the reader.

The next three are going to give you a hint at the type of image we are gonna be describing today.

So Erie is when something is strange and frightening, and atmosphere is obviously the feeling or the sense evoked by an environment.

And unsettling is something that causes worry or anxiety.

I wonder if you can guess what kind of image we are going to be looking at today and we're gonna finish today's lesson with some reflection and that's giving serious thoughts or consideration to something.

If you need to pause the video and write these words down, nice time to do so.

Otherwise, let's continue with the lesson.

So three parts to today's lesson.

We are gonna be planning, we are gonna be writing, and then we're gonna be reflecting.

So let's get started with our planning.

So we are gonna be writing a description based on this image.

What I would like you to do is create a mind map of what you first notice about the image.

We're gonna do this verbally, so if you've got a partner, you can discuss this with them now.

But if you're working by yourself, don't worry, just pause the video and you can think through to yourself.

You may even wish to make a few notes.

Okay, pause the video, have a think and press play when you are ready to continue.

I heard some lovely ideas, and it was great to hear some of you using the keywords particularly eerie and unsettling.

Let's shine a light on some of those things that you notice about this image then, shall we? Well, I heard some of you talking about how it's distorted, those trees aren't growing straight.

It almost looks like someone has kind of given the image a shake, and everything is moving slightly.

Lots of you picked out that the trees were very bare.

There are some leaves on there, but there are not many.

Linked to that, some of you noticed that actually a lot of the leaves are in the ground.

So you might start thinking what time of year this image was set.

I heard lots of you noticing that figure walking down the path.

Lots of you noticing they were a lone figure, they were by themselves.

And the fog, okay, this isn't a nice, clear summer's day.

There is certainly some fog there which might add to this unsettling atmosphere.

Obviously well done if you picked out any of these things that you can see on the screen.

But of course if you picked out anything else as well, that's great too.

So before we start to think about how we can effectively describe the image, we need to think about how we structure our description.

So you want to have a clear, beginning, middle, and end to your description.

So one way you might structure your description is like this, beginning, zoom out, describe the image as a whole, and then in the middle of your writing, start to zoom in on very specific details and describe them, and we want to finish by leaving the reader with a final emotion.

So let's think.

We're gonna do this verbally.

Add in some notes about your ideas for each section.

So this is what Sophia, I challenged Sophia to add in her notes, this is what she thought she could write or she might plan for this image.

So at the beginning, she really wants to build this eerie atmosphere, this figure walking down the path, the trees being really distorted around them.

In the middle, she's gonna zoom in on, first of all, the bareness of the trees.

Then she's gonna look at the leaves on the path before focusing on the fog.

That's kind of intertwined between the trees.

And she really wants to finish by creating this unsettling emotion, perhaps thinking about that lone figure in this very eerie setting.

Great ideas from Sophia there.

Now I want you to consider how you can use language and structure to create this unsettling, eerie atmosphere.

So when you're creating a description, you want to use your sensory language in order to immerse the reader into the scene.

So what sort of sensory language do you think would create an unsettling eerie atmosphere? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you are ready to continue.

Okay, welcome back.

I heard some great ideas.

Let's have a look at what Alex said.

Alex said, "I think you want to create a sense of not being able to see properly.

You want things that are really gonna make you feel uncomfortable.

So how can we use those five senses? Sight, touch, taste, sound and smell in our descriptions.

Pause the video.

If you've got a partner, work through this with your partner.

Otherwise, just think through this to yourself.

How could you use these senses to create an eerie and unsettling atmosphere? Pause, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Great discussions.

Now I'm gonna share with you some examples and I want you to think how these create that eerie, unsettling atmosphere.

So for sight, "The enveloping fog clouded my eyes in the grey clouds.

Touch, "The bark felt cold and slick under my palm." Taste, "Damp, dank air lingered on my tongue." Sound, "There was a rustling behind me." Smell, "A muggy, putrid scent wafted through the air." Putrid, disgusting.

Okay, pause the video.

Back to these discussions.

How did these examples create or suggest an eerie and unsettling atmosphere? Have a think.

Fantastic discussions there.

I really like those of you who are zooming in on some of those keywords like the dank air, the putrid scent, oh doesn't make me feel very rested, or relaxed, or comfort, or cosy, I feel very unsettled by these vocabulary choices.

As Sam said, "They're very unpleasant, uncomfortable sensations.

Okay, as well as sensory language then, we can also use language devices to create atmosphere.

Personification is where we give human characteristics to non-human objects or things.

So how could you use personification to create an unsettling, eerie atmosphere? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

Alex said, "You can have the trees watching the figure being watched always makes us feel really uncomfortable and slightly tense." So almost bringing these trees to life.

Are they actually alive? No, they're not.

But they're tracing the the figures journey through down the path.

Great idea there from Alex, and some fantastic ideas I heard from all of you as well.

Another language device that you may wish to use is comparative language such as metaphors.

Metaphor is a figure of speech where an object or a person is described as being something else.

How could you use metaphors then to create an unsettling, eerie atmosphere? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you are ready to continue.

Great ideas.

I heard some really nice examples of metaphor.

Laura, one of our Oak People said, you can compare the objects in the scene to things that are really negative that create this, you know, things that you would find quite scary.

Another language device that we could use is pathetic fallacy and a reminder that pathetic fallacy is where human emotions are given to non human objects or things.

So what sorts of emotions would you give to the objects in the scene to create this eerie unsettling atmosphere? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Lovely discussions there.

Some really good suggestions.

Aisha said she'd use some emotions such as fear or anxiety, 'cause they're the emotions that we really want to evoke through our description.

So another way that we can influence atmosphere is through use of punctuation and sentence type.

So our structure, not just our language.

Which punctuation might you use then.

Let's have a think, which punctuation might you use to create an unsettling and uncertain atmosphere? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Some great ideas there.

I really liked people who said similar things to what Lucas said, which was he'd used dashes, they indicate pauses, and that can indicate some hesitation, uncertainty, I'm not sure whether I want to continue walking down this path.

Jacob said that he'd use question marks.

It shows someone is questioning their surroundings.

They're not really sure about where they are, and maybe not even why they've decided to be there.

So a complex sentence is where you have one main clause, and at least one subordinate.

A reminder that a main clause makes sense by itself, but a subordinate needs to be attached to a main clause to make sense.

So how might you use complex sentences to create unsettling atmosphere? Pause, think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Some great discussions.

Always tricky speaking about sentence types, so really well done for giving this a go.

Sam said, "Perhaps you could use the subordinate clauses to add extra details that keep catching your eye, which would highlight how unknown the unknown nature of your surroundings, because, oh, you've seen something else, and I've seen something else.

Okay, so that complexity almost means that kind of creates this sense that you are on edge, and you just keep seeing new unknown things.

Okay, let's check.

We've had done lots of discussions so far.

Let's check our understanding.

Which of the following would you you use to create an unsettling atmosphere? A, "The leaves twirled and danced." B, "The leaves whispered to themselves as I passed." C, "The leaves smiled and waved as I passed." Pause the video, have a think, and press play and you're ready to continue? Yes, well done, if you said B, that whispering feels like the leaves are against you, they're watching you, okay? Feels quite eerie to me.

Right, our first task, then, we are gonna complete our planning grid by creating a language device for each focal point and adding in what structure you'll use.

So we've talked about lots of different language devices, metaphors, personification, pathetic fallacy.

We've thought about structure through punctuation or sentence types.

What I'd like you to do is think about for each part of my description, can you give one suggestion of something that you are going to try and include.

Pause the video, have a go at this, and then press play when you're ready to continue, Welcome back.

I'm gonna share with you some examples from my planning grid.

You might even want to use some of these ideas and add them to your grid as I share them with you.

So for an eerie atmosphere, I might say, "The leaves whispered to themselves as I passed." For the middle, what I'm focusing on details, I might say the bark felt cold and dank underneath my palm, and then to finish with that really unsettling atmosphere, I might say, "The branches were grasping hands reaching for me," a metaphor there.

They're not actually grasping hands, but that's what they remind me of.

Structurally, I might have used complex sentences to show that was an unknown environment.

I might have used dashes to show hesitation and pauses, and I might have used question marks in my final paragraph to really show the uncertainty.

Why have I come here? Why have I let myself walk through this terribly unsettling place? Okay, let's now move on to writing a description.

We've done some planning, we've thought of some ideas, so it's over to you.

You are gonna write your description, and create an eerie and unsettling atmosphere.

Look at Laura's opening sentence.

How do you think Laura may have misunderstood the task? She said, "The birds cheeped and chirped as I wandered past." What do you think, why has Laura gone wrong Here, pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back, I heard some great ideas, and you really impressive when you zoomed in on particularly individual words that didn't really work in this context.

So Izzy said that the sound of birds creates really a pleasant image and wandered suggests a really leisurely stroll.

Therefore, there's nothing about this opening image that for me feels particularly eerie or unsettling.

Which then, which of the following words will help you create an unsettling atmosphere? Is it gloomy, joyous, or ecstatic? Pause the video and have a think.

Press play when you are ready to continue.

Yes, well done if you said gloomy.

Of course, the other two adjectives are really quite happy ones, for me, they make you feel, make me want to smile, but gloomy, I'm seeing dark clouds, I'm feeling really unsure.

Definitely an adjective that we may wish to use.

Okay, it is time for you to do some writing.

You want to give yourself plenty of time on this task.

You're gonna write a description of this image that creates an eerie and unsettling atmosphere.

I want you to remember to do the following.

Use sensory language, the five senses, to really immerse the reader and make sure you're using the language and structure to create atmosphere.

Okay, it's time for you to give this a go.

Pause the video, spend plenty of time on this, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Good luck, I know you can do this.

Welcome back, some fantastic writing there.

I was so pleased to see those of you, who before you put your pen down, read through your work one more time to check for spelling, punctuation, grammar.

That is a great habit to get into.

Well done if that was you.

Okay, I now want us to do a bit of reflection here.

We're gonna consider Laura's description.

Which language device do you think is the most effective and why? Laura said, "Silence.

Deathly quiet.

The murky fog engulfed and muffled everything.

I could feel a cold drop of sweat on the back of my neck as the trees seemed to bend inwards to get a better look at me." What do you think is the, which language device is the most effective and why? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back, some fantastic discussions there.

Jacob said he really liked the sensory language of the drop of sweat.

He said it was the most effective as it really makes the reader feel and understand this real sense of discomfort and worry.

Great feedback there from Jacob.

Okay, it's now time for us to reflect in more detail on the writing that we've done today.

I want you to think, why do you think it's so important that we always read back through our work and reflect on it? Pause the video, have a think, press play when you're ready to continue.

Some really nice discussion there.

Izzy said, it really allows us to consider what was effective in our work and what we might perhaps change for next time, and that's great because every time we do a piece of writing, we always want it to get better.

We always should be looking at improving.

Every time I write, I'm always thinking about how can I do better next time? So true or false, it's important to reflect on our work? What do you think? Pause the video, press play when you're ready to continue.

Of course that is true.

I hope everybody got that right, we always want to reflect on our work, but why? Is it A, it allows it us to proofread it, or B, it allows us to consider what went well.

Which do you think at these is the real justification of why we reflect on our work.

Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you are ready to continue.

Yes, I think it's really nice for us to reflect on what went well.

Of course we should always proofread, but that's not reflecting.

That's a stage we do before we do the reflection.

Giving us time to reflect allows us to think, "Actually that's something I've done really well, and want to continue to do well.

It is also a moment for us to reflect on things that we could do better next time as well.

Okay, time for you now to reflect on your description.

Things to consider, what's your favourite word or phrase and why? Which do you think is your most effective piece of language and why? Which do you think is your most effective use of structure and why? And is there anything you would change about your description? I love reflecting.

I think it's really important thing to do.

So it's now over to you to pause the video, reread your work, and really reflect, and think about the fantastic things you have done, but also just keep an eye out of anything you would like to do different in future.

Okay, pause the video, over to you.

Right, I'd really like you now to share your reflection with the person next to you.

So if you've got a partner that's great, you know who you're working with, people who are working by yourself at home, this would be a lovely time to find someone else in your household that you might wish to share that writing with, show them what you've done, and tell them what you're proud of.

Things to consider as you have these discussions.

Would they pick the same favourite word or phrase from your writing as you did? Would they choose the same aspect to change? Have those conversations about your work, would they pick the same language device and structural elements as being the most effective? I think it's really exciting to talk about our work and think about what we've done well.

So now's the time to do it.

Pause the video, over to you, and press play when you're ready to continue.

Welcome back.

I hope you enjoyed having those conversations about your work and showing off what fantastic things you've done.

It's been so great to have you with me today, and seeing how creative you have all been.

You can see a summary of everything we've covered in today's lesson.

If you need to pause the video, read through these things carefully, and if there's anything you're not sure about, do go back and watch sections of the video again.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

I hope you have a wonderful day, whatever you are doing with the rest of your day, and I hope to see you all in one of our lessons soon.

Thank you very much, goodbye.