Lesson video

Hi everyone.

My name is Mr. Chandra Parla and I'm really looking forward to today to talking you through planning and writing, really effective descriptive writing paragraphs.

Descriptive writing is one of those things that we're always asked to do in English language, and I think that people think that it can only be used when, you know, describing a picture or describing a setting.

And actually what would be really impressive is if you can build the skill so well that you can embed it within your narrative writing or embed it even within a persuasive piece of writing to create a really specific effect on your audience.

It's such a helpful tool to have in your back pocket.

So let's get into it.

So our outcome for today is, "I can create a specific atmosphere by linking vocabulary choices and creating a semantic field." I'm really looking forward to talking to you about a semantic field because actually if you can do that now, it's gonna put you in such good positions moving into your future time with English.

So, let's review our keywords.

When we're talking about atmosphere, a noun, we're thinking about the feeling of sense evoked by the setting or environment.

Planning is something that I suggest you do for all your pieces of creative or descriptive or even persuasive writing.

It's the act of deciding how to do something.

Good planning means that you are able to do things really effectively later down the line.

Descriptive writing is describing something in an interesting and detailed way.

And like I said earlier, I'm really looking forward to talking to you about the semantic field because semantic fields are when we build a group of words or expressions that are related in their meaning.

It's a really sophisticated term, sorry, technique to be using because it shows that you're developing a pattern over the course of your whole text.

Finally, we've got adjective, and that is a word that describes or defines a noun.

So for today's lesson, we're gonna start off by planning our paragraphs.

Today we're gonna plan descriptive paragraphs based on this wonderful image.

We can see the river, we can see the flowers, we can see the trees, and a bright blue sky above us, it seems idyllic.

What are the first impressions though, that you have for this image? I've just named off a couple of things that have jumped out to me first.

What are you most interested in? Pause the video and see if you can spot what you are most interested in.

You may want to do that by yourselves and create a little mind map, or you may want to do that with your partner as part of the class.

Pause the video and start working out what jumps out at you fast.

Lovely ideas, interesting to hear some of you go for the same things.

Some of you though were splitting the image up into foreground and background and talking to me about the colours.

Love your ideas.

I think we're gonna do some great work with this.

You might have said the blue sky and the sunlight catching the flowers.

You may have talked about the clear water with the bridge running over it.

I didn't even notice the bridge initially.

You may have mentioned the purple flowers in the forefront.

That's what I mean by foreground.

You may have talked about the pink flowers in the background.

All of those are really good ideas.

I'm not gonna be relying on all of them as we go through today's lesson.

In order to plan our paragraph, we're going to think about how we can create a consistent atmosphere through our use of adjectives and verbs to create a semantic field, which remember, is a pattern over the course of our text with words or adjectives that are linked in their meaning.

A semantic field is a group of words or expressions related in meaning.

So I'm gonna ask you to think about why we might create a semantic field to be effective in descriptive writing.

I've told you already that it's really good for creating patterns, but patterns of what? Pause the video.

See if you can have a go working out for yourself what patterns we could create or why they're so effective through the use of the semantic field.

Some lovely ideas, baring mind this is the first time some of you have come across this term.

I'm really impressed to see what you are already coming up with.

Let's have a look.

Descriptive writing is designed to create a clear atmosphere and to paint a picture for the reader.

So using the semantic field helps us create a consistent image for the reader, which is incredible.

If you can create a consistent image, you're really helping a reader to soak into that atmosphere.

Let's have a check for understanding now.

So what type of writing is designed to paint a picture of the image for the reader? And one way to help paint the picture is to use a group of words with a similar meaning to create a, what? Pause the video and fill in those blanks.

Let's have a look, shall we? You might have said descriptive writing is designed to paint a picture of the image for the reader.

Well done if you did.

Really good work, really good memory.

The second one, I saw a lot of you going back to your notes.

I've mentioned it several times already this lesson.

One way to help paint the picture is to use a group of words with a similar meaning to create a semantic field.

One of our key terms for this lesson, along with descriptive.

Well done everyone, really great start.

So, to create a semantic field, we first need to decide what the overall feeling associated with the image is.

What overall feeling do you get from this image? Take a moment to pause.

Really look at it.

Look at what kind of colours we're seeing.

Think about the weather above.

You may be thinking about your prior knowledge about pathetic fallacy.

What overall feeling is being created? Pause the video, maybe talk to someone, maybe jot some ideas down and restart when you're ready.

Some lovely adjectives being brought out to help us understand the overall feeling.

Let's talk about that.

You might feel a sense of calmness and tranquillity when you look at this image.

I certainly do.

Looking at the stillness of the water, the blue sky, almost like the trees are perfectly still.

I think that calmness and tranquillity really works.

So we have four focal points, those four things that we notice, first of all, the purple flowers, the bright sky, the bridge over the water.

And we're thinking here about a mood of calmness and tranquillity.

So what adjectives would we use to describe these focal points that fit with the overall mood? What I've done here is I've set up a table to help me.

I've got the sky, the river and the bridge, the purple flowers and the pink flowers.

And what I'd like you to do is, you may wanna draw that table out for yourselves and just select what adjectives would you use to describe those focal points, going beyond just purple or pink, rather than just saying it's calm.

What else can we say? Pause the video and fill out that table for yourselves now.

Some really interesting ideas.

I loved hearing some of those discussions.

And just, I think that we're onto a real winner here already.

I think we're gonna produce really good pieces of work.

So for the sky, serene, uncounted, cerulean, really interesting adjectives to have used.

I think for the river, describing it as placid, perfectly still, harmonious, soothing.

I really like harmonious because it creates that sense of sound to the image, which I think is a really interesting way of exploring it.

For the purple flowers, people are talking about being elegant and dreamy and enchanting, lovely ideas.

And for the pink flowers, I just went for blushing, delicate, divine.

Some excellent ideas to start us off with.

Pause the video now, and if there's anything you want to add from those 12 adjectives, feel free to add them to your work in a different colour pen.

Lovely work, everyone.

Let's continue.

So, why might adjectives such as vibrant, kaleidoscopic and ravishing not be as as effective in this description? You know, I see students use these all the time, and what's always really interesting is that something like kaleidoscopic, it's a great word and I'm so impressed when students can spell it correctly, but it's not always nailing what I want them to be doing when I'm giving them an image like this.

Pause the video and see if you can work out why they're not super effective adjectives for this type of description.

So let's discuss it.

Aisha says, these words give the impression of a scene that is more loud and overwhelmingly beautiful rather than calm, tranquil, and serene that we're trying to describe.

I think Aisha's right here.

If something is vibrant, I always think about, you know, when I'm thinking about the connotations of vibrant, I'm thinking about, it's glowing almost, it's vivid, and maybe that's not quite what this image is.

It's calmer than that, quieter than that.

Kaleidoscopic, if you know what a kaleidoscope is, it's something you look through and you turn the holes and it creates different colours and different images.

That's really incredible.

But definitely almost sort of more challenging than just calm.

So I'm not gonna say that this scene is particularly, kaleidoscopic, because as Aisha says, it is just tranquil.

As well as describing our focal points, we want to think about how we would move through the scene.

It's not just good enough just to have a really static view.

We wanna glide through it.

We still want that sense of progression.

So how do we do that? How might we describe our movement in a way that adds to our semantic field of calmness? Pause the video, talk to the person next to you or jot down some ideas on your piece of paper.

Restart when you're ready.

So let's see if we've got similar answers here.

Sophia says, we might use words like leisurely, glide, wander, stroll, drifting.

I really like those choices of verbs and that adverb, leisurely.

I also like the verb amble, maybe just to create that sense of, you know, not a caring the world as we're moving through this scene.

Really well done.

Add anything that you would like to from what we've just discussed to your own notes.

So let's just have a quick check for understanding.

Which of the following adjectives and verbs would you use to create a calm semantic field? Remember, you can choose more than one here.

So I've got option A, marching, option B, strolling, option C, serene and D, cacophonous.

Pause the video for a second.

Choose which of the options, remembering it can go for more than one, would you choose here to create a calm semantic field.

Really well done, and I'm so pleased to hear some of your explanations of why we wouldn't try choose cacophonous.

Again, as I tell my students, it's a great word, I love it.

I love that your vocabulary is that big, but that doesn't mean that it's helpful when we're describing a calm image.

So our answers are strolling and serene.

Well done if you got that right.

In order to plan our paragraph, we're going to use a single paragraph outline.

That means that we're gonna have a focus of the paragraph, a supporting detail, and a concluding idea.

When I talk about the focus of the paragraph, here I want you to state which part of the image you're going to focus on and what kind of language you might use.

For the supporting detail we're thinking about listing notes on details.

So you may talk about the petal colour here, for example.

Finally, for our concluding idea we're thinking about the notes of, we're thinking about how you make notes on the concluding ideas for your paragraph, what feeling you want the reader to leave with.

We want that to be really impactful and really effective so it stays with them or transitions into the next thing that we're going to have a look at.

An example might look like this.

So you may have the focus of the paragraph on the daisies.

Heavenly imagery, as if they're angels.

A lovely idea to start with.

Your supporting details may describe the petals as white with golden centres with feelings of disbelief at their beauty, stems swaying gently in the wind and the scent of the daisy as intoxicating, bewitching, captivating.

I can already tell this is gonna be an incredible paragraph.

Let's see what that concluding idea is gonna look like.

So that's carrying that pure joy at the sight and smell of the flowers away with you.

I love that, the sensory image has meant that we're able to, you know, lock it away within ourselves, like we're just floating on that smell for a little bit.

It's a really nice image to end with.

Now that we've seen an example, I'm gonna give you some time, I'm gonna pass the batton over to you and I'm gonna ask you to complete single paragraph outline that we've got here, which you may wanna draw for yourselves, to create your own plan.

You can choose any part of the image to focus on.

Choose any supporting details, and remember, we're looking for that concluding sentence to be really effective so it stays with me as a reader.

Pause the video and have a go at it now.

Some great work, everyone.

I'm really looking forward to the paragraphs you're writing.

If this is how you are planning, we're gonna be in a really good position.

We're gonna take a little bit of feedback.

If there's any ideas that you like here, you may want to add them in a different colour pen.

But let's start.

For the focus of the paragraph, you may have thought about thinking about the clear sky with the feelings of calmness and tranquillity.

A lovely way to begin.

The supporting details, you may have thought about the colour described as cerulean, the eyes drifting toward the sky, the fact that we're focusing on that adjective, serene.

And then to show how serene it is, how calm and nerveless this world is, you may try and reflect that in the fact that the sky is cloudless.

Finally, for your concluding idea, you may end with, "looking at the sky creates the feeling of a deep calming exhale." (exhales) Can imagine it now.

It's gonna be a really good piece of work.

If there's anything that you really like from here, pause the video, add it to your work now in a different colour pen.

So now that we've worked really well on planning our paragraphs, we're now gonna have a look at writing our paragraphs.

In response to this image one of our Oak students said, "The tall trees towered above me, and I could feel their weights pressing down on me.

When the sunlight caught the bark, the dappled effect was like a calming ripple in the water." So, some really nice language here, but what feedback would we give the student? Do you think it's an effective descriptive paragraph? Pause the video.

You may want to annotate this for yourself.

You may want to jot down some key ideas you want to look at, maybe twist their words, see if you can improve it, or you may want to talk with your partner, see if there's anything that you would improve.

Pause the video and reflect on that piece of work.

What makes it? Or do you think it's an effective descriptive paragraph? I really like some of the ideas that you were coming up with.

Let's have a look at what we've got here.

The idea of the trees, feeling oppressive in their weight, but then also calming at the same time, doesn't create a clear image for the reader.

And that's really right.

We don't want to be sending mixed signals here.

We want to make sure that our image is as clear as possible.

You want to think about creating a consistent mood throughout to help the reader imagine the scene.

I know a lot of you were saying the same thing, and even though the language is really impressive, again, it's not just about using the largest words in our vocabulary, it's making sure that they're cohesive, they come together really effectively.

So let's see how we could change the description to use a semantic field.

In response to the image the student has written, "The tall tree towered above me and I could feel their weight pressing down on me when the sunlight caught the bark, the dappled effect was like a calming ripple in the water." Now, we're trying to write something that is serene and calming, but that first sentence seems to be creating quite an oppressive atmosphere.

So my suggestion to you is going to be to focus on that second sentence.

How could we continue that oppressive atmosphere rather than trying to bring in this calming presence? Pause the video and see what you would change.

I really love the way that you were thinking about some of the details we could bring in here.

Let's have a look at what we could do.

So specifically with that second sentence, I thought that we could change that similarly.

So it's, "The dappled effect was like a disease spreading amongst the trees." Almost like spots covering the river, or sorry, the trees even.

So, we're just gonna have a check for understanding here.

True or false, "The serene sky enveloped me in a comforting hug", creates a semantic field.

Pause the video, tell me whether it's true or false.

Really good work.

Could see people wrestling with it, could see people trying to choose comforting hug, that seems to be calm.

Is enveloped calm? Serene seems calm.

Which one is it? Is it true? Is it false? It's true.

Well done.

Let's justify our answer now.

"Serene", "enveloped", "comforting" and "hug" create a soothing tone.

Option A or option B, "serene", "enveloped", "comforting" and "hug" create a tense tone.

I think we're gonna get this one.

Pause the video.

Just double check.

And well done to those of you who said it creates a soothing tone.

Yes, all of those terms create soothing tones.

Remember tense, if something is tense, it's getting our heart going, it's creating nerves.

Serene, calm, hug, comforting, envelopes, definitely not creating a tense tone.

Far more soothing.

So we're gonna now have this opportunity to practise.

I'm passing it back over to you.

You've already planned some fantastic paragraphs.

There's no good just having a plan, we need to write them now.

So you are writing your descriptive paragraphs based on this image.

Remember, we're asking you to use adjectives and verbs to create a semantic field.

So, you've planned excellent paragraphs.

You now have the opportunity to write your descriptive paragraphs based on this image.

Just a reminder that you need to make sure that you're using adjectives and verbs to create semantic field.

Pause the video now and have a go at doing that for yourselves.

Some excellent work, everyone.

And I loved how people were going back to their plan, changing things and adding them in, so they're developing that semantic field of a calm, serene atmosphere.

Let's do some feedback now.

So we're going to do feedback and we're going to focus on editing your descriptive paragraphs.

Reading back over your work, could you find more ambitious adjectives to describe the focal points of the image? Can you add more variety to the verbs in your descriptive paragraphs? Can you create a more consistent semantic field? Pause the video, go through your work in a different coloured pen and highlight to me, or circle where you've used ambitious adjectives, changing the ones that you think could be a little bit stronger.

Underline where your verbs are really impressive, and show a variety, changing the ones that you think could be developed a little bit further.

And just make sure that you star off the key terms that allow you to create that really consistent semantic field.

Pause the video.

Good editing is good reflection.

Well done everyone.

Really impressed to see just the amount of care and time taken over that editing.

Shows a real pride in your work and also does justice to the great ideas that you showed whilst you were planning your work in the first place.

So we've come toward the end of another lesson.

Let's talk about our summary for planning and writing descriptive paragraphs.

These are the four things I need you to take away.

Descriptive writing is designed to create a clear atmosphere for the reader and paint a picture of an image.

Semantic fields can be used to create that picture for the reader.

A semantic field is a group of words or expressions that are related in meaning.

And finally, we want you to choose your adjectives carefully in a descriptive paragraph in order to create a semantic field.

You have all nailed your use of the semantic field, and I've been so impressed.

Excellent work today, you've produced some beautiful plans and executed them really well in your writing.

Huge congratulations.

I look forward to working with you again soon.