Lesson video

Hi, everyone.

It's Mr. Chandra Parla here, and I'm really looking forward to getting into this lesson.

This lesson, we're doing one of my favourite things.

We're gonna be doing something called free writing, which is an incredibly exciting way of getting our new ideas onto a page.

It's also a wonderful way for us to develop our ideas and really refine our writing process.

Sometimes we get so scared of the blank page and this is a great way of overcoming it.

So, let's get into the work today.

So, we're gonna be understanding how to refine our work in clear and identifiable ways.

As ever, let's have a look at our keywords for the lesson.

So, we start off with our noun creativity.

Creativity is the ability to produce or use original and unusual ideas.

If we think about this in our own reading so far, you may think about something like Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland", as an incredibly creative and different way of experiencing the world.

Alice disappearing down the rabbit hole, unleashes a whole new world of creativity for her.

And because she enters into such a strange world, it can evoke a verb, a strange series of emotions.

To evoke means to bring or recall a feeling, memory, or image to the conscious mind.

Today, because we are going to be freewriting, we will be doing some rewriting.

That means that we will be rewriting our sentences, adding, dropping or reframing ideas and choosing more precise words.

And hopefully that allows us to get into really ambitious ways of thinking about our creativity.

So, that means that we're gonna be using a lot of skill and effort to be successful.

Really, that process of rewriting is so significant, because it offers us the opportunity, yes, to be ambitious, but to be ambitious not just through our first draught, but through our editing.

To edit something means to go through the process of making technical corrections to a piece of writing.

So, let's have a look at our lesson outline.

We're gonna start off with our free writing for now.

So, free writing is designed to help unleash our creativity, which is why we're starting off with it today.

To freewrite, all you need to do is look at the image and simply write for the allotted time.

Don't worry about trying to organise your thoughts or adhere to particular sentence structures.

Just write whatever comes to your mind about the image.

It's a really wonderful way of just not fearing the blank page, like I said, just going for what your first idea is, and then just running into the second, running into the third.

When I do it, I don't even worry about commas or capital letters or sometimes even paragraphing.

I just think, what is my idea? What do I wanna say about this image? So, let's just have a check for understanding rounder.

Free writing is designed to help you unleash your creativity.

True or false? Pause the video and restart when you're ready.

Well done, everyone.

You are absolutely right.

It is true.

So, let's justify our answer now, just to make sure we've got it.

Free writing is about letting your thoughts and imagination flow through your work, or free writing is all about planning the most complex and appropriate figurative language.

Pause the video, choose A or B, restart with your writing.

Oh.

So good.

Well done, everyone.

You're absolutely right.

It is a free writing is all about letting our thoughts and imagination flow.

Don't get bogged down into that sort of minutia, the nuts and bolts about, is this the best complex sentence? Should my subordinate clause go here? No.

Free writing, we're just having fun.

We're just trying to make sure that we're getting all those really great juicy, interesting ideas onto the page.

So, we're going to practise free writing a description of this image for seven minutes.

That means that you need to remember to let your thoughts and ideas flow on the page.

And don't worry so much about sentence structural or punctuation for now.

I can't emphasise this enough.

When I freewrite, I just go for the first thing in my head and just let the ideas keep rolling.

I even try and play this really hard game of myself while I'm not allowed to stop writing.

I just have to keep writing for that seven minutes.

That's gonna be my challenge to you today.

Pause the video now.

Seven minutes on your timers.

Off you go.

Usually when you come back from this sort of thing, I praise how hard you've worked and how careful you've been.

Here, I'm actually just gonna praise how creative you've been.

You've really gone and unleashed all that energy, all that incredible imagination you've got on the page.

Let's reflect.

So, as you are reading back through your writing, which is always hard to do, I want you to consider how did the process feel to you? Do you think it helped you feel more creative? And which idea or image are you most proud of? Pause the video.

You may want to share your work with your partner.

You may want to just do it independently.

Pause the video now and have a think.

What did you most enjoy about this? Where did you feel you really nailed it? Some lovely ideas there, and I was so pleased to see so many of you going back through your work and highlighting the moments where you really thought this idea or this image is something I feel really proud of.

That's so lovely to see.

We're gonna be able to use that really productively in a little while.

So, we're now coming to rewriting our writing.

We've had the fun of all the creative energy coming out.

Let's see how we can harness it to improve it even further.

So, it's time to look back over our work and rewrite it.

Rewriting a work is part of the larger process of revising.

Revising is where we look at or consider again a piece of writing in order to correct or improve it.

Specifically, rewriting is the process of rewriting sentences, adding, dropping or reframing ideas and choosing more precise words.

For our rewrite today, we're going to focus on choosing more precise and more ambitious words.

The concept of rewriting is all about unleashing that creativity.

I've said it so many times already, but now, we need to turn that into a really effective piece of descriptive writing.

Because sometimes, even though our creativity is wonderful, it's not necessarily the most impressive, descriptive writing.

Our ideas can be jumbled up.

Our structure may not be clear, so we just need to harness it all back in.

So, I'm gonna ask you to pause the video and discuss what makes an effective piece of descriptive writing? You may wanna talk to the person next to you, talk to another member of your class, or just jot some ideas down on your piece of paper.

Pause the video, have that discussion.

You know, I heard some really great things there.

I heard people talking about sentence structure.

I heard people referring back to that idea of ambitious vocabulary, the range of imagery, the patterns.

Let's take some feedback.

So, an effective piece of descriptive writing is where you not only have created a detailed mental image of the scene in the mind of the reader, but also evoked the emotion of the scene as well.

So, here, we're really thinking about creating a sense of feeling with our reader.

It's a hard job, but it's one I think we can manage.

So, I want you to look back at your free writing.

As you're doing so, I want you to consider, does it create a detailed image of the scene? Does it evoke the emotion of the scene? And specifically, did your your chosen adjectives and verbs evoke that emotion? If you are trying to create fear, have you chosen the most spine-jangling, stomach-churning adjectives as part of your work? Or have you chosen something a little bit bland than you intended to? Maybe a little bit too soft and kind.

Pause the video now.

Have a look at your work.

See if you can edit it, rewrite any of it to include those adjectives that you think match your scene.

So, in order to evoke an emotional response from the reader, we need to carefully consider the words we use.

I'm gonna ask you to turn to the person next to you, or maybe go back to your piece of paper to take notes.

How do you respond differently to these two sentences? So, first sentence, the night lights lit the night sky.

Sorry, let's try that again.

The nice lights lit the night sky.

Number two, the charming lights sparkled in the night sky.

Pause the video, choose which one is more appropriate and how we respond differently to them.

Some lovely ideas there.

And I was so pleased to see so many of you talking about the vocabulary.

The second sentence, I think, utilises more precisely ambitious vocabulary.

Night is a bit generic and bland, whilst charming, you know, it's enchanting.

It suggests that actually we are under its spell.

There is almost a magic in the air.

It provokes a more positive response since the reader can more easily imagine the lights.

So, I want you to complete the following sentences now in our check for understanding.

Something is the process of adding, dropping, or refining ideas and choosing more precise words.

And using more precise and something vocabulary can help to evoke an emotional response in the reader.

(siren blaring) Pause the video and tell me what you think fills those gaps.

(siren blaring) Really good work, everyone.

Lovely to see so many people checking through their notes, checking with a partner maybe.

We can see that rewriting is the process of adding or dropping or refining ideas and choosing more precise words.

Whilst using more precise and ambitious vocabulary can help to evoke an emotional response in the reader.

Great stuff.

Really good to see so many of you listening.

So, we're now going to work on rewriting your writing.

I want you to use a dictionary and a thesaurus, either paper or online, whatever is easiest for you, to go back through your free writing and choose more precise and ambitious vocabulary.

That means I need you to consider what emotion do you want to evoke in the reader? How can you use vocabulary in order to evoke that emotion? Which adjectives or verbs in your writing are very common and could be made more interesting? We wanna avoid those repetitions.

Pause the video now.

Start rewriting your work, focusing on that vocabulary.

Great work, everyone.

Really good to see so many of you changing those bland, boring words from more exciting, vibrant choices.

Let's take some feedback.

Here's an example of one of our Oak character's rewriting.

In the darkness, the bushes filled the path.

The trees looked high in the sky, attempting to block out the moonlight.

Rustling and groaning came from all across the small space.

The mean-looking trees become tall black shadows, watching everything that took place.

It's an interesting piece of work.

However, they've changed it.

They've edited, they've rewritten their work.

In the midnight darkness, the bushes overcrowded the path.

The trees loomed high in the sky, attempting to block out the moonlight.

Rustling and groaning emanated across the enclosed space.

The menacing trees become towering ebony shadows, watching everything that took place.

(shudders) I get chills reading that.

So much more effective in creating that atmosphere and really creating a sort of more threatening, frightening sense.

So, I want you to now reflect on your rewritten piece of descriptive writing.

As you're doing so, I want you to select three words you have rewritten.

Explain why you have decided to rewrite those words and what effect has it had on your writing.

Pause the video now and independently answer those three questions.

Lovely stuff, everyone.

Really good to see such careful editing.

You're all gonna be fantastic writers.

We're now moving here to our final part.

You've rewritten, after your free writing, you are now hardly, sorry, firmly even, that is me editing, you are firmly into your editing process now.

So, once we have rewritten our work, once we look over it to edit it, editing and proofreading is the process of making technical corrections to a piece of writing.

It includes addressing errors in capitalization, punctuation, and grammar, or a lack of clarity in syntax.

So, the sentence structure.

Why is it important though to maintain accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar in our writing? Pause the video now and see if you can discuss with your partner or work out on in your own notes why it's so important.

Having done a few of these lessons and talked so much about spelling, punctuation, and grammar, I know that I've got my views on this and I obviously have my views as an English teacher.

I'm so pleased to have heard so many of you talk about the idea that actually it doesn't make our ideas clear.

It can sometimes muddle our meaning.

Let's see some other ideas.

One of our students said that accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar helps us speak and write clearly so people understand better.

Without it, our writing can lack clarity and can seem confusing.

And they're so right.

It can be really confusing if our spelling, punctuation, and grammar are all over the place.

You're suddenly reading one sentence and wondering, is it meant to flow into this one? So, it's really important that we're checking our work, editing it carefully, so we're keeping our meaning clear.

But what are some of the most common spelling, punctuation, and grammar, SPaG mistakes that students make? Pause the video.

Have a guess.

Think about yourselves.

What do you always struggle with? It's hard being honest, isn't it? I know that I used to struggle a lot with commas and semicolons still now.

Let's have a look.

You might have said something like incorrect use of tense, incorrect spelling, such as they're, their, and there.

They're all spelt the same or they sound the same.

And misplaced apostrophes.

All of these are things that we can really easily get wrong, but with our editing, we're able to correct them really easily as well.

So, I want you to match the sentence with the error.

I want you to be beady-eyed, looking out for those mistakes.

The buzzing of the bees' created a wonderful humming garden.

The trees rustled they're leaves and waved there branches.

I've got two errors here.

It's either misplaced apostrophes or incorrect words.

Match the sentence with the error.

Pause the video, select your options, restart when you're ready.

Can't get everything past you a lot, can I? I can try all year, won't be able to.

Well done.

People notice that buzzing of bees', we've got that misplaced apostrophe.

We don't need the the apostrophe after the S in bees, because the bees are, they're doing an action, but they don't own anything.

That's a misplaced possessive apostrophe.

And then, the trees rustled they're leaves and waved there branches.

Oh, where to start? Things I do earlier in my day.

I've put incorrect words there.

They're, the first one, they're leaves, is meant to be possessive.

It should be T-H-E-I-R.

Whilst waved there branches should also be T-H-E-I-R.

Both the leaves and the branches belong to the trees.

So, again, I've used the incorrect spelling of those words.

What are some strategies that we can use to ensure our words are spelled correctly? Pause the video.

Talk to the person next to you.

Maybe discusses as a class.

Maybe think back to some of your own writing if you were working independently.

How do you check your spellings really carefully? Restart when you're ready.

Lovely ideas, everyone.

Let's see what you could do.

You could proofread.

That means going back over your work, going through it with a fine tooth comb, really checking your ideas, checking that spelling.

You could learn some common spelling rules.

So, for example, usually, U follows Q.

You could use a dictionary.

Always very helpful.

You could be careful with homophones, like hear and here or they're, their, and there.

Here, I want you to identify and correct the spelling errors in the two sentences below.

Mary could here the twittering birds in the traes.

And Mary beleived that fairies helped to grow the plaants.

There's a couple of mistakes in the second one.

Pause the video, see if you can catch me out again.

(Mr. Chandra Parla sighs) It's not gonna happen.

This lesson isn't for me.

Well done, everyone.

You notice that I had two spelling errors in the first one.

Mary could hear the twittering birds in the trees.

And Mary believed that fairies helped to grow the plants.

Remember, single A in plants.

Really well done.

So, here, I would like you to discuss why it's important to use accurate punctuation in your work.

Pause the video and talk to the person next to you about why it's so important.

If you don't have a person next to you, that's absolutely fine.

Take some notes.

Restart when you're ready.

Really good work, everyone.

Here's what I came up with earlier.

So, using accurate punctuation is important, because it means the readers can fully understand our work.

So, for example, if I was looking at the punctuation errors in the following sentence, the flowers petals bloomed in the warming sunshine.

I'm gonna need your help.

Can you tell me where I've made my errors? Pause the video, time to see if you can identify where I have.

Thanks so much, everyone.

Really good to hear your ideas.

You are absolutely right.

I should have used an apostrophe in flower's petals, because the flower is owning the petals.

The petals belong, they are possessed by the flower.

And then, also, I need to make sure that my work has a full stop.

I can't be going around writing sentences without full stops.

Really good work for spotting those.

So, let's just check our understanding here about correcting punctuation mistakes using these following sentences.

I've got here the flower beds, which were gorgeous hues of scarlet and blush were in full bloom.

And the gate seemed rusted, seemed rusted and warped, but it swung open at Mary's touch.

Pause the video and see if you can correct those punctuation mistakes.

Really good work, gang.

Let's go through.

So, we need commas in that first sentence, because we have the subordinate clause, which were gorgeous hues of scarlet and blush.

And then, also in the second sentence, we needed a comma before the coordinating conjunction but.

So, this is just really small things that still get in the way of our meaning.

Well done for spotting those.

Let's think about why it's important to use tense and what the danger is of using it incorrectly in the sentence.

Pause the video, have that discussion, restart when you're ready.

So, I think tense is really important in sentences and we need to be able to use them correctly, because an incorrect tense means using a verb tense that is not correct within the sentence or the larger context of the work.

So, for example, it's when I use the past tense, when I should have been using the present.

It can jumble up my meaning a bit more, makes my work harder to understand.

It disrupts the flow of the work.

So, for example, when I write, when Mary arrived at the garden, she feels a sense of wonder and amazement.

I know here, I've used the past tense for arrived, but I've also used the present tense for feels.

I've jumbled my tenses.

And so, my work isn't as cohesive.

It doesn't work as naturally.

I changed that though, and what I start to see is I can have both in the past tense.

When Mary arrived at the garden, she felt a sense of wonder and amazement.

That very slight change makes a huge difference.

So, I would like you to correct the mistakes in the verbs and the tenses in the following sentences.

Only the tenses.

Mary should of worn shoes better suited to the squelchy, wet mud.

And the flowers swayed in the breeze and the tree branches dance.

Pause the video.

See if you can spot my mistakes using our knowledge of tenses.

Really good work, everyone.

So, I should have said, Mary should have, not should of, worn shoes better suited to the squelchy, wet mud.

Of is a preposition and can't be used as a verb.

People make that mistake all the time and we really need to be careful about it, because we often go, should've, should've.

That shortening, that contraction there makes it sounds like we use OF when we don't.

We use have or apostrophe VE.

Finally, that second sentence.

We needed to use the past tense for both verbs, so it would be swayed and danced.

They need to be in matching tenses.

So, we're gonna practise this now.

You're gonna read back through your own rewritten version of your work and you're going to edit your work for any errors in punctuation, spelling, and grammar.

You need to remember to make sure that each sentence has a capital letter and full stop, to use apostrophes to show possession or a contraction of a word, to punctuate compound and complex sentences accurately, to make sure we catch any misplaced homophones.

And to make sure you are using the same tense across your sentences.

Pause the video now, edit your work.

Take that moment to really change it.

And you may want to do it in another colour pen, so you can see how your work has developed.

Pause the video.

Over to you now.

Really impressive.

Love seeing how many of you get back into the swing of just editing your work, taking that pride, and really trying to make sure that your work is as impressive as possible.

Love seeing the effort and commitment, everyone.

Let's take some feedback.

Okay, time to reflect on our own writing.

So, as you're doing so, I would like you to consider, did you find more or less errors in your spelling, punctuation, and grammar than you were expecting? Sometimes we are feeling more confident.

Sometimes we are just really good with the sentence structures.

Sometimes we've been really careful already.

How did the editing process feel? Do you take pride in it? Is it something that makes you feel quite anxious, quite nervous about making mistakes? Were you surprised at how easy it is to make mistakes in your own writing? Pause the video now and see how you feel about those things.

Reflect on that.

See how it will change your practise.

I love seeing how many of you get really into that process of reflection.

It means so much to us that you are taking the time to really think about how your work is actually impacting you and affecting the way that you view your own achievements.

Lovely work today.

So, let's just have our summary and recap, refining, and enhancing descriptive writing.

So, the first thing we learned was free writing is designed to help you unleash your creativity.

It means that we are writing freely without being burdened by spelling, punctuation, and grammar or anything else.

We're just thinking about what is the best idea that we have.

It's in the revision process where we look at or consider, again, a piece of writing in order to correct or improve it.

In order to evoke an emotional response from the reader, we need to carefully consider the words we use.

And accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar is essential to help your reader understand your writing.

You've all shown a really impressive mastery of language today, and I've been so impressed with the descriptive writing pieces you've been able to develop.

Excellent work today, everyone.

hugely proud of you as ever.

Well done.

I look forward to working with you again soon.