Hi everyone, my name is Mr. Trangaparler, and I'm really looking forward to be joining you today.

We're gonna be annotating a new question on "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and we're gonna be evaluating a couple of different model answers today.

The really exciting thing about looking at a couple of different model answers means that we're able to judge what makes a really good piece of analytical writing, and that will actually really help us when we come to doing our own pieces of work.

It's one of the key skills that we're able to annotate and reflect on other people's work, not just for ourselves, but also maybe sometimes for the developments of our friends.

So let's jump into today's work, and become better writers, and also better markers of our friend's work.

So our outcome for today is to evaluate model paragraphs and use that evaluation to develop our own writing.

Our key words for today include the word evaluate.

You may have been able to guess from our outcome.

To evaluate something is to look at something carefully, and make a judgement about it.

We're gonna be having a look at stage directions, which are part of a text in a play script, which gives us information about how a scene should be staged or how an actor should say a particular line.

We're gonna be considering the dramatic methods used by Shakespeare.

Those are the tools that are playwright uses to create their work.

For example, that could be characterization the setting, or language choices, or even the stage directions.

We're also going to need to be familiar with the adjective malevolent, which means just cruel, malicious, or evil.

And we are also going to be annotating today, which means to add short notes to a piece of text with our own ideas and comments.

This is a key skill in English, so it's really important that we get comfortable with it now.

So we are going to start off today by rereading Act 2, Scene 1.

I'm gonna start off by evaluating and improving responses to this question in today's lesson.

So our question today is how does Shakespeare present Oberon and to Titania in Act 2, Scene 1 of "A Midsummer Night's Dream?" You may wanna just write this down into your notes.

This is going to be our big question.

It's gonna be our driving focus for today, so get it down now because it will help you.

Laura, when she wrote down the question, first chose to annotate it, and this is something that I would always recommend for us to do.

If we annotate a question, it does help us work out what the key focus of the question is, and it means that we're going to be more focused as we begin to answer it.

I always tell my students that annotating is the first step of planning.

So Laura annotating the question is the first stage of her beginning to plan and think about her response.

So she's immediately picked up on that word, how.

You may want to add this in your own pen.

And she's saying, well, if I'm thinking about the word, how, I need to explore Shakespeare's dramatic methods, such as stage directions, division of lines, and language choices.

So when she's talking about language choices, she's thinking about the dialogue within the text.

When she's talking about stage directions, she's thinking really carefully about particular directions given to the actors or company about how the text should be presented.

She's then having a look at the characters of Oberon and Titania.

So she's identified the key characters, and she knows she's looking in Act 2, Scene 1 because it is specified within the question.

So let's just clarify here.

Let's just check for understanding.

How did annotating the question help Laura approach the essay? Is it A, because it reminded her that she must explore dramatic methods in her answer? Is it B, because it reminded her that Shakespeare wrote the play? Is it C, because it made sure she focused on the correct topic, rather than just writing everything she knows about the play? Or is it D, because it allowed her to make a list of all the dramatic methods a playwright could use? Pause the video now, and select any of the options that you think best answer the question, how did annotating the question help Laura approach the essay? Pause the video now select your choices, and when you're ready, hit play.

Fantastic work there everyone.

We can see that it is A and B.

It does remind her that she needs to explore dramatic methods in her answer, and also it means that she is focused on the correct topic, rather than going onto things that aren't necessarily relevant, as part of this question.

So we're just gonna practise here and we're just gonna reread three sections of Act 2, Scene 1.

So these will be in the additional materials, and you are gonna have access to Act 2, Scene 1, lines 60 to 64, lines 118 to 121, and lines 143 to 147.

I want you to first of all reread these three sections, and you may want to just after rereading each one, just write a short summary just so you know exactly what's happening in them.

Once you've done that, you're gonna move to task two, which is creating a mind map with your ideas to help us answer the question.

Remember that you are focusing on exploring Shakespeare's dramatic methods, which include stage directions, the division of lines, and the language choices, and the dialogue, but also you are focusing primarily on Oberon and Titania.

And you are looking at Act 2, Scene 1.

Now, all of these extracts come from Act 2, Scene 1, specifically.

So that's no issue, but you are really carefully focusing in on those two characters.

Pause the video now, and start rereading those three materials, and then start mind mapping your ideas with your ideas to answer this question.

When you are ready, hit play.

Lovely work there everyone.

Really pleased to see you all carefully annotating those individual extracts, rereading them really precisely, and then making sure that we're getting really detailed, but shorthand notes for our mind map.

Let's take some feedback.

So Laura, who had already annotated the question, started getting some of her ideas.

She wanted to think about how Oberon is presented as desperate because he has to beg for the boy and to Titania doesn't give in, so he has to resort to trickery, which is the love potion to get what he wants.

We can see here that she has focused on a particular character, Oberon, and she's explored a dramatic method.

She's looked at the word, beg, which is our language choice from the dialogue, and she's explored the inference behind that.

I want you to go back to your own work, and I want you to self-assess your own mind map using that checklist to guide you.

Have you made sure to focus on a specific character? Yes, it's Oberon and Titania being specified the question, but it's quite difficult to look at both characters in a single topic sentence.

So you may want to focus on one particular one, and then she's explored a dramatic method.

Have you done that? Is it possible that you could actually explore or have multiple supporting details? So multiple pieces of language evidence, so dialogue or stage directions to help support your topic sentence? Pause the video now and annotate your own work, making sure that you've done this, and if there's anything that you've missed, maybe add it in a different colour pen.

When you've done that, hit play.

Great work there everyone.

Some really careful additions being made.

Some really thoughtful additions being made.

And that's really gonna help us as we start to develop our own analytical responses.

Well done.

Let's keep moving.

So we're now, as part of this lesson on model paragraphs, exploring "A Midsummer Night's Dream," beginning to write about Shakespeare's dramatic methods.

So Laura has used her mind maps to draught a paragraph.

She has said, "Shakespeare presents Oberon as weaker than to Titania in Act 2, Scene 1.

When they first come on stage, Oberon says, 'Ill met by Moonlight, Proud to Tanya.

' And Titania replies 'What jealous Oberon?' The word 'proud' means Titania is almost arrogant, whereas jealous means that Oberon envies Titania in some way." Izzy, one of Laura's friends, has been really helpful here, and she's given two pieces of feedback.

She's been really clear and she said, you know what Laura? I really like your topic sentence, and there's a lot to like about that topic sentence.

Laura's made sure to include the author's name.

She's focused on a specific character.

She's shown that character, Oberon's relationship to Tatanya, saying that he's weaker than her, and he's specified on Act 2, Scene 1, plenty to like about that topic sentence in terms of the EBI, Izzy has said, "Your analysis should develop the idea in your topic sentence, not just rephrase individual words from the quotation.

You could consider looking at dramatic methods." That's a really fair point, even though Laura has included some really great evidence here, she's only managed to reword the fact that proud means that Titania is arrogant and jealous means that Oberon envies Titania, not necessarily telling us what it shows about each character.

It's really more of a paraphrase than an analysis.

Laura therefore chooses to redraft her paragraph, and this is really good practise from Laura.

She's seen her friend who wants her to develop, wants her to get better, really achieve her potential, be her best self, and so she's taking on that advice, and moving, and really reworking that first draught.

So we've got the first draught on the left hand side, but Laura now redrafts it in the redraft section.

So Laura redrafts to "Shakespeare presents Oberon as weaker than Titania in Act 2, Scene 1." So she hasn't changed the topic sentence because Izzy liked the topic sentence in the first place.

"The stage directions revealed their status, King and Queen, and that they have 'trains,' emphasising they have power and equality.

However, later in the scene, Oberon says 'I do, but beg a little changeling boy.

' 'Beg' suggesting his desperation and weakness as to Tanya won't give him up, even for Oberon's whole fairy kingdom." So Laura's done a lot of work here, and actually her redraft has seen her go for really different pieces of evidence.

She's chosen to focus on the dramatic methods in the stage directions.

She's then talked about two very different quotations, and she's embedded them within her work.

So let's just quickly think back to Izzy's feedback.

Izzy said, "Your analysis should develop the idea in your topic sentence, not just rephrase individual words from the quotation.

You need to consider looking at dramatic methods." Pause the work now, and have a look at Laura's improved redraft.

How has she taken Izzy's feedback, and really proactively edited her work to meet Izzy's EBI? You may want to underline that where she has specifically, for example, discussed dramatic methods or given really more precise analysis of key quotes.

And then when you've done that, hit play.

Well done everyone.

Really careful checking, and some really thoughtful work there.

We can see that Izzy's particular comment on, you should consider looking at dramatic methods is done by Laura in that specific moment where she discusses the stage directions, and their status, their characterization.

So that's really good, and actually this evidence that Laura has included in the second half, in the redraft even, is far more linked to that idea initially of Shakespeare presents Oberon as weaker than to Titania.

"'I do, but beg a little changeling boy,'" definitely demonstrates his desperation and weakness, and so we can see a much clearer, more relevant focus on that topic sentence.

Laura is done really well to be that reflective in her practise after Izzy has made those suggestions.

So we can see that we've got that focus on the stage directions, and then we've got that focus on the world, beg.

So we've got far better analysis because we've got dramatic methods being discussed.

Really specific language analysis, linking back to the initial topic sentence.

So we're just going to check our understanding here.

I've got two pupils, the wonderful Aisha and Alex, and I want you to tell me which pupil has best explored dramatic methods.

Aisha writes "Shakespeare starts Act 2, Scene 1, with Oberon and Titania exchanging angry one-line dialogue with each other.

The short sharp statements could suggest their intense anger and Titania's first line includes 'Fairies skip hence' showing she wants to leave immediately, and is not interested in listening to Oberon's demands." Interesting stuff from Aisha.

Alex says, "Shakespeare starts Act 2, Scene 1 with Oberon and Titania exchanging angry words with each other.

Titania's first line includes 'Fairies, skip hence' showing she has new supernatural followers.

The verb 'skip' suggests how the fairies move, and that they will move quickly." Both Aisha and Alex have actually looked at the same quote, and they've got very similar topic sentences, but which one do we think actually explores the dramatic methods, so the dialogue, the characterization, the stage directions better? Pause the video now have a look at each one and evaluate which one you think, which between Aisha and Alex, is better.

When you've made your selection, hit play.

Fantastic work there, everyone.

I'm just gonna, actually, just before I reveal the answer, I'm just gonna push you a little bit further.

I'm gonna ask if you can justify your choices.

Well, I'm gonna justify in a moment as well, but I want you, if you've selected, which one you're gonna go for, which one do you think is better and now why? Pause the video again, think of your justification, and then when you're ready, hit play.

Well done.

Really good thinking, and I could see a couple of people uming and ahing, and actually some people changed because actually their justification meant that they were uncertain, and they were thinking about, actually maybe I'm gonna go for another answer.

I think that actually Aisha's is the better one because Aisha has talked about the dramatic method a little bit more directly.

Whilst Alex says that they just exchange angry words, Aisha's much more clear in saying a one-line dialogue.

And actually, even though they both discussed that quote, "Fairies skip hence," actually, I think Aisha's work on saying that she wants to leave immediately, and is not interested in listening to Oberon's demands, is actually far more developed in terms of analysis and far more relevant to that initial topic sentence.

Was Alex saying that actually the verb skips suggests how the fairies move, not as helpful? It's a fair comment by Alex, but it's definitely not as relevant to that initial topic sentence.

So Aisha's, much better response.

Well done to all of you who picked out a couple of those different ideas.

I'm really impressed.

So we're now going to practise for ourselves answering this question.

How does Shakespeare present Oberon and Titania in Act 2, Scene 1 of "A Midsummer Night's Dream?" The first thing that I'm going to ask you to do is I'm going to ask you to rewrite and improve the paragraph below.

The paragraph below starts, "Shakespeare presents Oberon as malevolent in Act 2, Scene 1, rather than a good Monarch.

Oberon says he will 'torment' Titania for this 'injury.

' The word 'torment' suggests something bad will happen to Titania, and injury shows that Oberon is in pain." Izzy's been really helpful, and has given us some feedback.

She says the analysis should develop the idea in the topic sentence, not just rephrase individual words from the quotation.

We should therefore include and consider looking at dramatic methods.

Izzy's absolutely right.

So the first thing that I need us to do is rewrite and improve that paragraph.

Once you've done that, I want you to write your own paragraph and answer the question using ideas from your mind map.

So this, the first task is really getting you to improve what's already there.

And then the second task is getting you to have a look at your own work, your own initial ideas and develop them for yourselves into a full paragraph.

Pause the video now, complete task one and two, and when you're ready, hit play.

Really well done there everyone.

And what I really was pleased about was the fact that even when people were moving on to writing their own paragraph, they were still thinking about Izzy's EBI, making sure that they were considering looking at dramatic methods.

That's really gonna mean that we've ensured success in today's lesson.

Let's take some feedback and make doubly, doubly, doubly sure that we have got successful answers here.

So we're now considering Laura's earlier example, which actually explored dramatic methods.

So we're looking now at that redraft again.

So Laura said, "Shakespeare presents Oberon as weaker than ta Tanya, in Act 2, Scene 1.

The stage directions reveal their status, King and Queen, and that they have 'trains' emphasising their power and equality.

However, later in the scene, Oberon says, 'I do, but beg a little changeling boy,' 'beg' suggests his desperation and weakness as Titania won't give him up even for Oberon's whole kingdom." I want you to identify where you have explored dramatic methods in your response.

We can see Laura has, because she has talked about the stage directions, and then she's included also a comment on dialogue.

She's talked about how that dialogue helps us understand the text, and how it actually links to her topic sentence.

I want you to pause the video now and start to underline where you have explored dramatic methods, whether that will be dialogue characterization or stage direction.

Once you've done that, hit play.

Loved seeing how careful people were, in terms of their annotation of their own answers, really evaluating their work against the models that we've seen this lesson.

You've not only thought about Laura's, but you've been thinking about Izzy's feedback, Alex's work, Aisha's, fantastic initial answer, and you've been really making sure that it's linked back to those initial topic sentences.

It's made you excellent students.

I've been so impressed by you today.

So we're just going to summarise our knowledge, as we come to the end of today's lesson on model paragraphs, exploring "A Midsummer Night's Dream." So we've discussed how annotating a question about "A Midsummer Night Dream" ensures you focus on the right topic.

As I said, the first point of annotating the question is that it's really our first point of planning.

We've also had a look at how dramatic methods are the tools of playwright uses to create their work.

This can include characterization, setting, language choices, and stage directions.

And when we're writing about the play, we therefore need to be exploring these dramatic methods.

We do that through the inclusion of quotes, and then analysing those quotes.

So whether that's quotes from dialogue or quotes from stage directions, we're always making sure to analyse and then get back to our topic sentences.

You have all done incredibly well reflecting on your own work and the work of others today.

I've been so impressed, and I know it's not only going to help you all, but it's gonna help your friends down the line when you're giving them feedback on their work.

Excellent work today, everyone.

I've been so impressed, and I'm really looking forward to working with you again soon.

Bye for now.