Hello and welcome to today's lesson.

Thank you so much for joining me.

It's great to have so many of you here.

My name's Ms. Halliday, and I'll be teaching you today.

In today's lesson, we are going to start refining our creative writing skills as we work towards creating our very own gothic description.

So really exciting content in today's lesson, and I can't wait to get started.

So let's do just that now.

So today's lesson is called Organising Your Writing.

And by the end of today's lesson, you will have learned how to structure your piece of writing to build tension.

Here are some keywords that you will need to unlock today's lesson, and one of the most important keywords for today's lesson is structure.

Now, the structure of a piece is the way that it is organised.

So what comes where and why? And it's really important to consider that when you are starting to write or plan your own gothic description because you need to think strategically about how you are going to create tension.

Now, tension is absolutely central to gothic writing because it is this idea of the mental strain that a reader is put under because of their suspicion that something bad is about to happen.

Now we know that gothic literature is characterised by a sense of dread or threat, and creating tension is the perfect way to keep your reader in that constant state of anticipation and somewhat dread.

Now, strain is a state of tension or pressure.

Suspense is a feeling of anxiety or excitement about what might happen.

So you are wanting your reader to feel somewhat emotionally strained and you're wanting them to feel that buildup of suspense as they wait in anticipation to see what's going to happen next in your gothic text.

And finally, something else that you might want your reader to feel is aghast, which means filled with horror or shock.

So as we've said, the main aim of gothic literature is to thrill your reader, to make them feel mystified or aghast or fearful in some way.

So those are our important keywords for the lesson.

And if you'd like to take a moment to pause the video and jot some of them down so you don't forget them, then please feel free to do just that.

So here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by looking at how to build tension effectively in the whole piece.

And then in the second learning cycle, we're going to go more sentence level and look at how you can use fronted adverbials to build tension within your sentences.

But let's start looking holistically first at building tension.

So I'd like you to discuss, and I know that we've just talked about this a little bit, but let's do a bit of a recap.

What is tension and how does tension make us as a reader feel? And finally, why is it so important to create tension in your gothic writing? So what I'm going to invite you to do now is pause the video while you discuss these questions, either with the people around you or considering them independently if you are working on your own.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic, and let's come back together for some discussion, some really brilliant ideas there and some great understanding of exactly what tension is and why we need to use it in gothic literature.

So first of all, Sophia points out that tension is the mental or the emotional strain that the reader is put under because of their suspicion that something bad is about to happen.

And that is what makes gothic literature such a thrilling experience for the reader.

Because when tension is built effectively in a text, it makes us feel really anxious and unsettled, but also very excited at the same time.

And I've said it before, that reading gothic literature should be an adrenaline pumping experience.

You're wanting to give your reader a bit of a thrill when they're reading the text and building tension is exactly the way to do that.

And finally, as Jacob identifies, it's really important to create tension in gothic literature because as I've just said, gothic literature is all about thrilling and unsettling readers, and that is exactly how you do it, by building tension and suspense and putting your reader under that emotional and mental strain as they try to guess or they try to predict what might happen next.

So I would like you to read both of these sentences now.

I will read them to you and then I'd like you to discuss, which of these sentences do you think creates the most tension and why? So I'm going to read them to you now and you can start thinking about which you think is the most tense and why.

So sentence one, "I gazed at the scene before me feeling my mouth hang open in utter horror and disbelief".

Sentence two, "I gazed at the portrait of myself before me feeling my mouth hang open in utter horror and disbelief".

So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you discuss with the people around you which sentence you feel creates the most tension and why.

Off you go.

Fantastic discussions.

And again, really great to see people evidencing their opinions by selecting parts of the sentence that they chose as creating the most tension to reinforce why they felt it created tension and pinpoint where they felt it created tension.

So it's really lovely to see you using evidence to support your ideas.

Now, in terms of objectively speaking, sentence one creates the most tension.

"I gazed at the scene before me, feeling my mouth hang open in utter horror and disbelief".

And the reason for that is because as Jacob identifies, sentence one builds the most tension because it doesn't reveal what the narrator is looking at.

Sentence two told us from the very beginning of the sentence that the narrator was looking at a portrait of herself.

That doesn't build tension because there's nothing that we're wondering in that moment because we're told straight away that she's looking at a portrait of herself.

Whereas sentence one leaves that question of "What is she looking at?" much more open.

And what starts to happen is that because we're not told what the narrator is looking at, we're kept in suspense because we're waiting to discover what she's seeing and actually as we're waiting, our imaginations are running wild with all sorts of possibilities of what it is that we might be seeing in front of us because we've not been told that information.

So withholding information can be really effective way to build tension in your writing.

So let's just recap our task.

So in the "Mysteries of Udolpho" by Anne Radcliffe, the heroine, Emily, she sees this black veil, she lifts it up and what she sees underneath causes her to faint rather dramatically.

If you remember, your task is to write a description of what Emily sees when she lifts the veil up.

And I'd like you to think how are you going to build tension in your writing? So how will you use tension to create that unsettling, unnerving atmosphere as we slowly reveal what it is that Emily has uncovered? Now some tips for creating tension in this description in particular are going to come from our fantastic Oak pupils who have been thinking about ways in which they can create suspense and put their reader under that emotional and mental strain.

So Sophia advises, "I'm going to hold off revealing what Emily's looking at until the very end by switching focus." So redirecting the reader's attention.

And Andeep adds, "I'm going to reveal what she's looking at straight away, but then I'm going to describe it in a way that makes it seem unfamiliar to the reader".

And Izzy ads, "I'm going to finish my description with a cliffhanger to create tension at the end." And that is a really effective way of creating tension.

And what I'd like you to do now is using these three suggestions, I'd like you to think which of these approaches to structure would work for your description? So what you are going to describe that Emily sees under the veil and why? So make sure that you have your description in mind when you're making this decision because actually in different contexts, each of these approaches might work.

But you need to think about your context and the object or the item or the scene that you are going to be describing.

So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you discuss that question, either with the people around you or think about it independently if you are working on your own.

So off you go.

Some really fantastic discussions there.

And as I expected, lots of you choosing different approaches and that's absolutely fine because different structural approaches will work better for different topics or different foci.

So it is really important to tailor the structure of your narrative to exactly what you're hoping to achieve in your text.

So well done, really great discussions there.

So let's check for understanding before we move on.

Which of the following structural methods would be the least effective in building tension? Would it be A, using an extended metaphor, B, using a cliffhanger or C, doing a focus shift? I'm going to invite you now to pause a video while you make your answer selection now.

And a massive well done if you correctly identified that using an extended metaphor would possibly be the least effective in building tension in a gothic text.

So well done if you got that because actually using a cliff hangar is a really sure fire way to create tension at the end of your piece.

And equally shifting focus to withhold information is a great way of creating tension in the middle or at the beginning of your piece of writing.

So well done.

So let's have a look at an example of exactly how you can switch focus and how this creates tension.

Here's an extract from chapter five of "Frankenstein", which many of you will be familiar with, where Victor animates his creature.

"It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils.

With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony, I collected the instruments of life around me, that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet.

It was already one in the morning, the rain patted dismally against the pains and my candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half extinguished light I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open.

It breathed hard and a convulsive motion agitated its limbs." Such a fantastic description and I must say, probably one of my favourite gothic descriptions ever because I'm such a "Frankenstein" fan.

So very exciting that we get to share this with you today.

So I'd like you to discuss now at what point does Shelley switch focus? So at what point does Shelley redirect our attention away from the main action? 'Cause that's what shifting focus means.

And how does this build tension? So what I'm going to do now is invite you to pause the video while you either discuss this with the people around you or make notes independently if you are working on your own.

So pause the video and think about that now.

Brilliant work and some fantastic suggestions there that are all really relevant and really perceptive and insightful.

So a huge well done.

So Sophia adds, "Shelley switches focus just before she reveals the outcome of Victor's experiment, at this moment here." So we can see here Sophia has put the arrow exactly where Shelley switched his focus and it's just before we would expect to find out the result of his experiment.

And Andeep talks about the effect and says, "This delays us finding out the results of Victor's experiments." And Shelley redirects our attention to the weather.

And this creates tension because we're so desperate to find out whether the experiment has worked or not.

You know, in this moment I read this and I think, "And? And what's happened? Has the creature come to life? Is it evil? Is it okay?" And then Shelley's like, "Nah, I'm going to tell you about the weather." So it's a really clever tactic here to deploy our attention elsewhere to create tension and therefore delay us finding out the result or the outcome of the experiment.

And in that time we've got this feeling of anticipation and excitement, but also that anxiety because we're not sure whether the experiments worked or not.

So it's really clever tactic there from Shelley to build tension and it's one that you can emulate or repeat or recreate in your own writing as well.

Now in terms of how you can do that, as Andeep suggests, redirecting the reader's attention somehow by mentioning the weather or a distant sound or a thought is such a great way to build tension at a key moment and their ideas that you might want to bear in mind when we move forward to thinking about how you are going to create tension in your own gothic descriptions.

So thank you to Andeep for those really insightful suggestions there as to how you could build tension by switching focus.

So let's check for understanding.

Two oak pupils of ours answered the question, how does switching focus build tension? So we've got Izzy's answer and we've got Andeep's answer, and I would like you to read both students' answers and decide who you think is better.

So what I'm going to do now is invite you to pause the video and give you time to read both student responses and decide which you think is the more accurate and more effective explanation of how switching focus builds tension.

So pause the video and off you go.

And fantastic if you selected Izzy's response.

Now the reason as to why Andeep's response isn't right is because you might switch focus to something that is equally as important.

It's not necessarily about switching focus to something that doesn't matter, it's just about redirecting your reader's attention temporarily.

And the reader shouldn't have to work out which foci is more significant.

That should be obvious based on the way that you write your description.

So we're not trying to make the reader look for clues and try and work things out too much because that should be obvious to them.

If you are using language appropriately, you should be directing them to what is important at at significant moments.

They should not have to do that work for you, you should be doing that for them.

So Izzy's response of, "switching focus momentarily redirects the reader's attention, thereby delaying the action continuing, or delaying the reveal of something significant", is more appropriate because she explains that actually this creates tension for the reader because they have to wait longer in anticipation of what happens next.

And while they're in that state of anticipation, they're in that state of emotional or mental strain, which creates suspense.

So well done if you selected is this answer, you're absolutely right.

So onto our first task of the lesson where we're gonna have a practise at redirecting our reader's attention to build tension.

Now, a little tip from Andeep and he says, "Remember mentioning the weather or a distance sound or a thought is a great way to shift focus and redirect the reader's attention, thereby building tension at a very key moment".

So what you are going to do is read this sentence from earlier in the lesson, "I gazed at the scene before me, feeling my mouth hang open in utter horror and disbelief." And this was the sentence that we identified had built tension the most effectively.

What you are going to do is add to this sentence by writing the next one where you switch the focus away from what you see to something else, to build tension.

So we're not going to reveal now what the narrator is gazing at.

We're going to switch the focus away and quickly divert our reader's attention to something else to prolong the reveal of what it is that she's seen.

So here's a suggestion of a sentence starter you could use to help you redirect your reader's attention and switch focus.

But please don't feel that you have to use it.

It's just if you're not sure how to get started, you are welcome to use it, but don't feel that you have to.

So you might want to start by saying, "I was brought momentarily to my senses by", and then it could be the weather, like sudden dash of rain or a distant thud or something like that.

So what I'm going to do is invite you to pause the video while you have a go at writing the next sentence where you're switching the focus away from what the narrator sees, focusing on building tension effectively.

So pause the video and off you go.

Brilliant work and great to see so many of you really thinking about how you're going to build that tension and starting already preemptively to think about how you're structuring your sentences to build tension, because that's exactly what we're going to focus on in the lesson next.

Before we do that, let's have a look at what you might have written.

So here's our sentence.

"I gazed at the scene before me, feeling my mouth hang open in utter horror and disbelief".

And you might have added on, "I was brought momentarily to my senses by a loud indistinct, but not-so-distant thud, which sounded from my left side, the side with the immense cracked window.

I tried to avert my eyes to see where the thud had come from, but they refused to budge.

No matter how hard I strained them, they remained fixed, glued, stuck on the horrific site that I'd uncovered moments earlier." So there we've kind of diverted the reader's attention away, and then towards the end of the paragraph, we've brought it subtly back towards what she might be staring at.

Again to just rebuild that tension.

So we've distracted our reader for a moment and then we've reminded them, "Oh, we need to reveal what she's looked at".

So really clever tactics there for building tension.

So well done if you've got anything similar and really well done for putting your all into that task, great effort.

So as I said in the second half of the lesson, we're going to focus on building tension at sentence level by using fronted adverbials to build tension.

So again, two sentences for you.

You know the drill.

I would like you to read them both and decide which you think creates the most tension and why.

So sentence one, "Inching slowly forward, one tentative foot in front of the other, I anxiously approached." Sentence two, "I anxiously approached by inching slowly forward, one tentative foot in front of the other." Now I'm going to give you a few moments to pause the video while you decide which you think creates the most tension.

If you're struggling, I would recommend that you read them both aloud again, as that really helps you to establish the tone that's being created by the sentence structure here.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic.

And I was delighted to see that many of you identified that actually sentence one builds tension more effectively.

It's this sentence here, "Inching slowly forward, one tentative foot in front of the other, I anxiously approached." Now, the reason as to why this sentence was more effective in building tension is because, as Andeep identifies, sentence one, so the sentence we can see now, uses a fronted adverbial verbal to elongate the sentence, so to draw the sentence out, and therefore delay us from getting to the action as quickly.

So in terms of fronted adverbials, some of you might be thinking, "Well, what is a fronted adverbial? 'Cause that sounds very technical, and I'm not sure what one of those is." So a fronted adverbial is basically a word or a phrase that provides more information about the action in a sentence.

Now we know that an adverb tells us the way in which something was done, and that's exactly what a fronted adverbial does.

And they're brilliant for building tension because they delay the action.

So just like switching focus delays our attention and delays us finding out what's happened, this is a way to delay the action on sentence level.

So this is a really effective way to build tension.

So here's an example of some fronted adverbials "Creeping slowly forwards", "With bated breath", "With my heart in my mouth", "Hesitantly", and "Suddenly, out of nowhere".

So each of these adds detail to the action in the sentence and delays us getting there.

So we're not starting with the action, we're starting with the way in which the action was done.

So what I'm going to show you now is how to add a fronted adverbial into a sentence to build tension.

So here is our basic sentence.

"I lifted the veil slowly, feeling my pulse race and my throat constrict." Now, what's missing from this here is actually the way in which it was done.

So was the veil lifted quickly? Was the veil lifted slowly? Was it aggressively? Was it gently? That word lifted isn't very specific about the way in which the veil was lifted.

And that's a detail that we need to add in, really.

So we would add the fronted adverbial to the very front of the sentence and fronted adverbials, hence the word fronted, always go at the beginning.

Now, what we also have to remember about fronted adverbials is that they absolutely always have a comma afterwards because they are actually a subordinate clause.

They don't make sense on their own, and therefore they need to have that comma after them.

So here here's an example of what we might add in that is a fronted adverbial to create tension in this sentence.

So we might add in, "With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony I lifted the veil slowly, feeling my pulse race and my throat constrict." So here we are delaying that action and big up if you.

I know someone just said, "Oh, that's from Frankenstein." You are absolutely right.

That sentence, "With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony" is in fact from "Frankenstein".

But it's such a great fronted adverbial, I thought, "Let's just use it here".

And it's fine to do that.

It's fine to take all the writer's ideas and use them in your own work.

So here what we've done is we've added in this fronted adverbial to really build tension before the contents of what's under the veil is revealed.

So now it's going to be your turn and you are going to add a fronted adverbial into the sentence below.

So here's your basic sentence.

"I ran back down the corridor, gulping the freezing air down desperately as I tried to recover the breath that shock and horror had so brutally snatched away." So this is already quite a good sentence, but we can definitely make it better with the addition of a fronted adverbial.

So what I'm going to do now is invite you to pause the video while you consider what fronted adverbial you might add to this sentence to delay the action a bit further.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic.

And a really diverse range of fronted adverbials used there, all done really effectively.

So a massive well done.

Here's just one suggestion of what you might have added.

"With every ounce of strength left within me, I ran back down the corridor, gulping the freezing air down desperately as I tried to recover the breath that shock and horror had so brutally snatched away." So again, here we're showing the way in which the narrator ran back down the corridor.

They're doing it "With every ounce of strength left", which again shows us that this is a very tense and frightening situation for them, which then makes us feel unsettled.

So this is a really classic gothic description here that is made more tense using the fronted adverbial.

So well done if you've got anything like that.

Great work.

So let's check for understanding of fronted adverbials.

Which one of these sentences does not use a fronted adverbial? I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you read the three answer options and decide which you think doesn't use a fronted adverbial.

Off you go.

And a massive well done if you identified that it is in fact B.

"Here was my moment", is not a fronted adverbial because it doesn't tell us the way in which the action is done.

The action here is them thinking and them gathering themselves together and we're not told how that was done, we're just told that this is the moment they decided to do that.

So this is not a fronted adverbial here and well done if you identified that.

So onto our last task of the lesson, which I'm really looking forward to getting feedback from, I would like you to write three gothic sentences that do not use a fronted adverbial.

And you need to do this because you're actually going to give these to a partner and they're going to add fronted adverbials into them.

So what I'm going to do now is invite you to pause the video while you write me those three sentences that don't use a fronted adverbial.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic work.

Now, I could see some of you struggling a little bit with this, so don't worry if you didn't manage to get all three because you can take one of mine.

So here's a suggestion of what you could have written.

"The surface of the placid lake began to stir with the breathy whisper of the icy breeze." You also might have had, "I could see the ruined mansion, standing sentinel on the hill, stoically surveying the scene." And you might have had, "I struggled on against the wind and darkness, my eyes fixed on the only place in this forsaken place that I might find answers." So as I said, if you didn't manage to get all three done in time, don't worry 'cause you can take one of mine.

That's absolutely fine.

What you're going to do now is you're going to swap your sentences with a partner and you are going to rewrite your partner's sentences, adding in fronted adverbials.

I can't wait to see how you get on with this.

I'm really excited to see what you come up with.

So pause the video and off you go.

Brilliant work.

And what I've really enjoyed about seeing you do this task is the fact that many of you got to read each other's writing, perhaps for the first time.

And that's really exciting because when we read other people's writing, it gives us ideas for our own.

So it is great to read other people's writing if you ever get the opportunity to.

So well done for completing the activity.

Now let's feedback.

So what you're going to do now is swap your sentences back and you are now going to mark your partner's work.

So I'd like you to make sure that your partner has added fronted adverbials to each of your three sentences.

And here is an example of one of my sentences to remind you of what a fronted adverbial looks like.

So here was our original sentence, "I struggled on against the wind and darkness, my eyes fixed on the only place in this forsaken place that I might find answers." Now we know that the fronted adverbial has to go at the front, hence the word fronted, and it should be followed with a comma.

So let's check.

"With newfound grit and sheer determination, I struggled on against the wind and darkness, my eyes fixed on the only place in this forsaken place that I might find answers." So has the fronted adverbial gone at the front of the sentence? Yes, it has, tick.

Is there a comma after the fronted adverbial? Yes, there is, tick.

So that is right.

That has been correctly turned into a fronted arb sentence.

So you are going to mark your partner's work now, remembering that as you are marking, we got to have fronted adverbials that tell us the way in which the action is done and that it has to be followed by a comma.

So pause the video and off you go marking your partner's work.

Fantastic.

And what was great to see was many of you actually making suggestions if your partner got it wrong as to what they could have written that's really conscientious and helpful to other people.

So thank you and well done for that.

I'd just like to give you a moment now to share some of your best fronted adverbials with your classmates or with somebody else if you are working in smaller groups.

So what I'm gonna invite you to do now is pause the video while you share your best fronted adverbial with the class.

Off you go.

Wow, I'm so impressed.

Some really creative sentences there with some really spooky and tense gothic atmospheres created.

So a massive well done.

It's great to see how much your writing has come along in such a short space of time.

Great work.

So to summarise the learning from today, it's important to create tension in gothic writing because it keeps your reader in a constant state of anticipation and curiosity.

And this makes reading the text a much more thrilling experience for the reader.

You can build tension by delaying revealing key information, switching focus, or ending with a cliffhanger.

Furthermore, fronted adverbials tell us the way in which something is done and they can be used really effectively to build tension.

Thank you very much for coming to today's lesson.

I have loved hearing your fronted adverbial sentences and seeing all of your structural ideas about how you're going to build tension in your own descriptions.

Thank you for your contributions and I hope to see you next time.

See you later, bye.