Hello, my name is Ms. Grant, I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me.

Today, we're in the unit, myths, legends, and stories that inspire.

Today we are gonna do some reviewing and refining of some writing, focusing particularly on how we create sound in our writing, looking at alliteration, plosives, and sibilance.

I cannot wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you will have improved a piece of descriptive writing by making effective use of alliteration, plosives, and sibilance.

Don't worry if you haven't heard of these terms before, by the end of this lesson, you will know what they are and you will know how to use them as well.

There are some key words which are gonna help us unlock our learning today, and they're gonna help us achieve our objectives.

I'm gonna draw attention to two of them, but there'll be referenced throughout and we'll have lots and lots of different examples.

However, if you'd like to pause the video now, take a note of a few of them, read through some of the definitions, then please do.

So I'm gonna draw attention to this word, plosives, that's how you pronounce it, plosives, And its use of the letters P, T, K, B, D, and G to make a harsh sound.

Now, unlike alliteration, these letters don't have to be found at the start of a word.

So alliteration, the letters need to be found at the start of a word for it to be counted as alliterative.

But with plosives, they can be found anywhere within the word.

The second word I would like to draw your attention to is onomatopoeia.

Now one of the hardest things about onomatopoeia is how to spell it, how to say it, and that is how you pronounce it, onomatopoeia.

And these are words which sound like the noise they describe, an example is crash.

So as I say, if you'd like to pause and spend a bit more time with some of our key words, please do so now.

Otherwise, you'll find them cropping up throughout today's lesson.

Our lesson outline for today, we're gonna start off by looking at alliteration and plosives.

And in our second learning cycle, we're going to focus on sibilance, the repetition of the S sound.

Let's start off with alliteration and plosives.

So Jacob wrote a descriptive piece of writing, inspired by this painting.

Now this painting is "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey." Lady Jane Grey was Queen of England for nine days in 1553.

Now this painting was painted about three centuries after this event, but the painter has imagined what it might have been like in the cell where she was imprisoned and where she was executed.

So we've got the executioner holding his axe.

We've got her ladies in waiting, very upset.

And we've got the man who's guiding her towards the executioner's block.

She is blindfolded, so she can't see it.

Now, Jacob Bear wrote a piece of writing inspired by this painting, and today we're going to review and refine his work.

Here is the first section of Jacob's paragraph, "Jane concentrated on finding the block." So you can see that Jane is his central character and he's focusing on the idea of her finding the execution as block.

"Scrunch.

The blindfold did its job, completely annihilating all light." Now, Jacob has used onomatopoeia to create the idea that the blindfold is tight.

He's used that word "Scrunch", that is onomatopoeic, it sounds like the word that it describes.

This is not wrong, but a more sophisticated way to create the same effect can to use alliteration and / or plosives.

Let's look at an example of what alliteration, how plosives look like in this writing.

"So Jane concentrated on finding the block taut and tight.

The blindfold did its job, completely annihilating all light".

So Jacob's combination of alliteration, "taut and tight", both begin with T, that makes it alliterative.

And plosives, so T is one of those letters that can be used to create a harsh sound, and the T ends both words "taut" and "tight".

So it develops the idea that the blindfold is painfully tight, the T sound is harsh and repetitive, and we can't escape it and neither can Jane.

So it's a skillful redraft that Jacob has done.

They're moving from this word scrunch to the more thoughtful "taut" and "tight".

Now Jacob has another go at using a combination of alliteration and plosives.

So let's look at his third draught.

"Jane concentrated on finding the block.

The basic blindfold had been bound around her head inexpertly, tightly trapping tendrils of hair in its knot." I'd like you to discuss where has Jacob used alliteration and plosives, and what effect have they had.

Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, well done for showing your great knowledge of these terms, alliteration and plosives already.

So we can see that alliteration with "basic, blindfold, bound", so three words there, beginning with B.

And this B sound also counts as a plosive and it's creating this harsh sound.

And then we've got some more alliteration later on, "tightly trapping tendrils of hair", so that T sound is repeated.

And we also have the plosive with the double P in "trapping".

So all in all, this creates the effect of the pain that Jane is going through with the repetition of the B sound, and then also that sort of tightness that she's experiencing as the blindfold binds a little bit of her hair, created through that T sound as well.

So it's a really, really nice third draught.

You can see how experimenting with alliteration, with plosives, can really push you to create some fantastic descriptive writing.

Now here's another section of Jacob's writing, again, he's relied onomatopoeia.

So having a word that sounds like the noise that it's meant to describe.

"Hew felt the smooth handle of the axe pressing into his palm".

So for Jacob, the executioner is called Hew.

And he writes, "Screech! He dragged the blade across the floor." So "screech" is an onomatopoeic word.

Now Jacob redrafts, so he thinks I now know what alliteration and plosives are, let me have a go, rather than using that word "screech", what can I do? "Hew felt the smooth handle of his axe pressing to his palm, the lethal end lay on the floor, limp and lifeless.

He deliberately dragged the blade across the floor, drowning out the delicate sobs of Jane's friends".

I'd like you to discuss where has Jacob used alliteration and plosives, and what effect have they had? Pause the video and discuss this question now.

welcome back, again, really getting to grips with these two technical terms, alliteration and plosives.

We've got alliteration with "lethal and lay", "limp and lifeless", so that repetition of that L sound, that is not an example of a plosive sound, it is just alliteration because it's the L sound.

So we get the idea of this lethal kind of lingering with us as we go through that sentence.

We cannot forget that the axe is there and that it is a lethal.

And then we've got "deliberately", "dragged", "blade", "drowning", "delicate", the repetition of this D sound, sometimes are alliterative sometimes used as a plosive to create this kind of aggressive idea in contrast to the delicate sobs of Jane's friends.

So you can see that it's really pushed him to think about his vocabulary.

Rather than just relying on that word "screech", he's had to develop his sentences, so the piece is a bit longer as well.

And that's why alliteration and plosives can be a good thing to play around with so that you're really pushing your vocabulary and really thinking about the sound and atmosphere that you want to create in your work.

A check for understanding before we have a go at using alliteration and plosives ourselves.

True or false, you must never use onomatopoeia, pause the video and select your response now.

Well done if you selected false.

Now I'd like you to justify your answer.

Is it A, you can use onomatopoeia when you're describing extremely loud noises, like explosions, but otherwise you should use alliteration and plosives.

Or B, you can use onomatopoeia when you would like to in your writing, but know that alliteration and plosives are often subtler ways to create an idea of sound.

Pause the video and select your justification now.

Well done if you selected B.

So it is your choice when you use onomatopoeia in your writing, if you use it.

But just remember that alliteration and plosives are also there, you do not always have to rely on onomatopoeia, and as we saw with Jacob, it can often push you to develop your writing in interesting and exciting ways.

So our first practise task.

Now a reminder, this was Jacob's prompt, write a description inspired by this picture.

I would like you to redraft another section of Jacob's work.

Your improvement should focus on developing a use of alliteration and plosives.

However, you can alter any other aspect of his work that you wish.

Now this is the example of that we've got.

"Her friends pressed themselves into the wall, tears wouldn't come.

Bang! Jo crashed her hands against the wall in total despair." So you can see that Jacob has relied on onomatopoeia with that "bang" and the word "crashed".

And he's saying that one of the ladies in waiting is called Jo, you could see her figure in the background, wearing the black dress and facing the wall.

So you are gonna redraft this section of Jacob's work.

Your improvement should focus on developing a use of alliteration and plosives.

And of course, you can alter any other aspect of his work that you wish.

Pause the video and complete this task now.

Welcome back, well done for giving that task the time that it deserves.

Really nice to see people employing alliteration and plosives really, really skillfully.

So just moving Jacob's work on a little bit by developing some of his descriptions and really focusing on vocabulary choices and the sound that you want to create the texture to your work.

Let's do some feedback.

So Jacob identifies where he has used alliteration and plosives, and discusses their effects.

So he redrafted his own work just as you were doing for him as well.

And he wrote, "Her friends pressed and pushed themselves into the wall, tears wouldn't come.

Jo battered her hands against the wall until they bled.

Her despair was deep and devouring".

And Jacob says, "I think you can really hear the continual batter of Jo's fist against the wall, because the B sound is repeated.

I also think the idea of despair is maintained because the D sound is repeated." So it's really, really nice to see that he's developed the idea of the friends pressing themselves against the wall, he's got "pressing" and "pushed", so we get that idea of force.

And then I completely agree with Jacob, the idea of "battering", you really hear that in his writing.

And then that idea of despair seems to linger with us because we've got the D sound repeated with "deep" and "devouring".

I'd like you to identify your own use of alliteration and plosives in your own work, and discuss their effects, just as Jacob has.

Pause the video and complete this discussion task now.

Welcome back, that was such a pleasure to listen to that discussion, especially because I got to hear lots of sections of your work, so hear all these plosives going around the room and hear your really distinctive use of alliteration, which means certain ideas are really emphasised.

And we've got some texture to Jacob's work that he originally drafted and that you have improved.

Well done, after looking at alliteration and plosives, we're now gonna look at another way to make sound in our writing.

So we looked at alliteration and plosives, another way to create sound and texture in our writing is sibilance.

So let's look at what sibilance means and how we can employ it in our writing.

So sibilance is another way to give your writing sound and texture.

Sibilance is repeated use of the letter S.

It doesn't need to be at the beginning of a word, it can be at any point in the word.

It often creates a menacing, sinister, or unsettling tone, and is often connected to the idea of evil.

So not exclusively, but often writers do use it to connect to the idea of evil.

For example, "The axes unsettling screech woke the executioner from his sleepy trance".

So we get this repetition of the S sound.

It obviously connects to the evilness within the sentence because we've got a man wielding an axe, and it's definitely an unsettling tone because we know the axe is about to be used.

So here's another section of Jacob's writing, "Jane's hand eventually found the block", so we're focusing on that central character of Jane, the character who is going to be executed, the one who is blindfolded and is trying to find the executioners block.

"Jane's hand eventually found the block.

It was rough and covered with old dried blood." So we've got his first draught there.

Now Jacob redrafts, focusing on using sibilance.

So he now writes, "Jane's hand eventually found the block.

It was splintered and spattered with smears of others' blood." That's his second draught, relying on sibilance.

Jacob connects the executioners block with evil through his use of sibilance.

We've got that repeated S sound and we know that the executioners block obviously is connected with evil because it's where people have their heads chopped off.

And this repetition "splintered", "spattered", "smears" and others, doesn't let us forget it.

So it's a really successful redraft and a good use of sibilance.

Here is another section of Jacob's writing, "The dry straw beneath the block moved against the floor, making soft noises as it got caught in the guard's cloak." So I really like how Jacob has focused on a small detail on the dry straw, that's very evocative, but let's watch him redraft.

So he redrafts, focusing on his use of sibilance, and he writes, "The dry straw beneath the block shook and rustled against the stone floor, hissing and whispering as it was ensnared in the guard's cloak", ensnared meaning trapped.

I'd like you to discuss where has Jacob used sibilance and what effect has it had.

Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, well done, a really good handle on this word sibilance, just like you did for alliteration and plosives.

So wherever there is an S sound, we have that use of sibilance.

And this idea is that the straw is maybe making sort of slightly sinister whispering sounds, is echoed in the writing itself because we keep hearing the repetition of that S sound.

So if it's shaking and rustling, hissing and whispering, it's ensnared and it's in the guard's cloak, we can hear it because of that repetition of that S sound.

So I really, really like Jacob's redraft there, using sibilance to great effect.

So let's do a check, 'cause we've come across lots of technical terms today, and then we're gonna move into our practise task where you are using sibilance.

So we've got alliteration, plosives, sibilance and onomatopoeia, and I would like you to match the terms to their definitions.

Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back, well done for showing off your great knowledge of this technical vocabulary.

So alliteration is when two or more words start with the same consonants.

So we saw that with "lethal", "limp", and "lay", with the description of the axe.

We've got plosives, which is use of letters, P, T, K, B, D, and G to make a harsh sound, we've seen that in lots of Jacobs redraft.

Sibilance, which is the repetition of the letter S in successive words, that's the focus of this learning cycle.

And then onomatopoeia, words which sound like the noise they describe, e.

g.

crash.

Remember, not wrong to use on onomatopoeia, but there are other ways to create sound in your work.

So our final practise task, reminder that this was Jacob's prompt, write a description inspired by this picture.

And you are going to redraft another section of Jacob's work.

Now your improvements this time should focus on developing a use of sibilance, a repetition of the S sound.

However, like last time, you can alter any other aspect of the work that you wish.

So here we've got Jacob's first draught.

"The axe's blade reflected the candlelight in the cell.

Moses", that is the name for his executioner, "Moses moved the blade from left to right - screech! - and it caught the light at different angles".

So he's used onomatopoeia there, we've got that word "screech".

And your focus is going to be on developing Jacob's use of sibilance.

So pause the video and complete this redraft now.

Welcome back, so lovely to see people applying themselves to that redraft.

Your skill there with seeing things that you want to change or improve can be readily applied to your own work as well.

So when you are writing your next piece, maybe you'll be looking at trying to use some sibilance.

Remember, that redrafting coming back and editing is always a really good way to improve your work.

Let's do some feedback and see how you redrafted this section of Jacob's writing.

So Jacob identifies where he has used sibilance and discusses its effect.

So he did the redraft as well and he wrote, "The axe's sharp steel blade shone in the soft candlelight in the cell.

Moses swivelled the blade from side to side and it scratched and screeched at the floor, shooting reflections of light into the darkness." Lovely redraft there.

And Jacob writes, "The sibilance is constant, so we feel this underlying sense of menace.

I think you can hear the blade swivelling and screeching because the S is so consistent." So really nice use of sibilance, and a really nice exploration of its effects.

So I would like you to identify your own use of sibilance and discuss its effects.

It might be a good idea to read your work aloud so you can hear the S sound throughout.

Pause the video and complete this self-assessment discussion now.

Welcome back, it was quite eerie walking round and hearing all these S sounds whispering all over the place as people were employing sibilance to great effect, just like Jacob did in his second draught.

Well done.

In summary, alliteration is when two or more words start with the same consonant.

A writer makes use of plosives when they use the letters P, T, K, B, D, or G for effect.

Sibilance is the repeated use of the letter S for effect.

Alliteration, plosives and sibilance can be a sophisticated way to create a sense of sound.

It has been such a pleasure to review and refine some work and look at these technical terms in your writing today, alliteration, plosives, and sibilance, and I look forward to seeing you next time.