Hello, my name is Ms. Grant.

I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me today.

We're in the unit: myths, legends and stories that inspire.

Today, we are going to do some planning, planning for a full descriptive piece.

And we're gonna look, well, what does it look like if we are planning a full descriptive piece? How can we make sure that our piece is well structured and we've got all the details that we need to create a really wonderful piece of descriptive writing? I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

I cannot wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you are going to have planned a well-structured piece of descriptive writing, which employs a third person omniscient narrator.

So we're gonna look at this term, the third person omniscient narrator.

We're gonna consider what that means.

And we're also going to think, well, how can I plan for a fantastic structure in my descriptive writing? It doesn't just magically happen.

It can be planned for and there are certain things that you can do to make sure that your reader is taken on a journey in your descriptive writing.

So these are our key words for today.

We've got three of them.

I'm just gonna draw your attention to the word sumptuous because we're gonna look at third person limited and third person omniscient, omniscient, that's how you pronounce that word, in this lesson in much more detail.

But sumptuous is a word.

It means expensive, luxurious, and rich.

So you might describe a particular piece of fabric as sumptuous.

It's often connected to the idea of material, and that's how you pronounce that word as sumptuous.

As I say, we're going to look at all of these words in today's lesson, particularly third person limited and third person omniscient in more detail.

But if you'd like to pause the video and spend a bit more time with them now, then you can.

Our lesson outline for today.

So we're gonna first of all consider how do you move between characters in a piece of descriptive writing? And in our second learning cycle, we're going to look at really detailed paragraph plans.

And this is where we're going to be able to structure our writing so that we take the reader on a journey.

Let's start off with moving between characters.

So I'd like you to look at this painting on the board and I'm gonna tell you a little bit more about it.

So this painting depicts the execution of Lady Jane Grey, who was Queen of England for just nine days in 1553.

So this painting was not painted in 1553.

It was painted at centuries later, but it does depict true events.

So the painter who painted this picture, he imagined it, but it is based on a true event.

Lady Jane Grey was indeed Queen of England for nine days in 1553.

Now King Edward VI nominated her to be Queen of England just before he died.

But Lady Jane Grey lacked support and she was deposed, removed from power by Queen Mary I.

And Lady Jane Grey was accused of treason by Mary I and executed in November 1553 when she was just 17 years old.

Now these are her ladies in waiting.

So in this cell where she's waiting to be executed, we've got two ladies in waiting.

They're obviously very, very distressed about what is about to happen to their mistress.

We've got this man here.

He works in the Tower of London where Lady Jane Grey was imprisoned and he helped her foot to find the executioner's block after she was blindfolded.

So you can see he's guiding her hand towards the executioners block.

She cannot find it because she was blindfolded before she was executed.

We've got the executioner.

Now he asked Lady Jane Grey to forgive him, which she did.

And indeed her last words were, "Lord, into thy hands I commend my spirit!" So we've got this scene here and we've got these figures and now we know a little bit more about them and we're going to use this painting today to form the structure of our descriptive writing.

Now Izzy wrote this paragraph inspired by the painting, and she wrote, the fur was soft as it brushed against Jane's skin.

His hand was tender, coaxing her towards the block.

His breath, shallow and warm, pulsed rhythmically against her ear.

The shadows in the room danced in front of her.

The whole experience felt dreamlike, gentle.

Only the taste in her mouth was an assault.

Her mouth was filled with a room's stagnant air, and blood as she bit her cheeks to suppress a desperate cry.

So really nice bit of descriptor writing there from Izzy.

Now Izzy has written in the third person limited.

The third person limited.

What does this mean? Well, it presents the feelings and experiences of one character.

And you can see that Izzy's focus is on Lady Jane Grey.

We've got Jane's skin, her, her and her.

All of these pronouns, they are referring to Jane.

So she's used third person limited 'cause she's presenting the feelings and experiences of one character.

Now the narrator, if it's third person, isn't a character in the story.

So Izzy is not using I but instead using pronouns like he, she, it, they.

So Izzy is not a character in the story.

She's not embodying the character of Jane.

She's instead using third person.

But third person limited means she's just focusing on one character.

Now Izzy decides to re-plan her piece using third person omniscient instead.

So she decides to change the narrative perspective from third person limited to third person omniscient.

Now third person omniscient, what does this mean? It presents the feelings and experiences of multiple characters.

So not just one, but multiple characters.

They can still be a central character who is the main focus.

So even though you've got multiple characters and you are presenting their feelings and experiences, you can still have a main character.

Each character does not need to be described in equal detail.

So this is my how you might signal who the main character is by spending a bit more time on one character than the other.

I'd like you to discuss, why might using third person omniscient help Izzy develop her writing? Consider the differences between third person omniscient and third person limited.

And then consider how might using third person omniscient help Izzy develop her writing? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, well done for grappling with these two very technical terms. And there seem to be a consensus in the room that third person omniscient because Izzy can now talk about multiple characters.

She will be able to develop her writing.

She'll have ideas for multiple different paragraphs.

Now of course she could do that with third person limited.

But given the picture that she's presented with where we've got these different characters, all of whom are having quite intense emotions, I think third person is a really nice choice and it will definitely help her develop her writing.

Now Izzy's first step to develop the characters is to develop the characters in the painting.

So she knows she's using third person omniscient now.

So she needs to move between the perspectives, not just of Jane, but she needs to consider the ladies in waiting, the executioner, and the man who works in the Tower of London.

So just as Izzy asked herself these questions, you're gonna ask yourself, what do you think each person is thinking, feeling and experiencing? So just like Izzy, you're gonna complete that first step to develop the characters in the painting.

Pause the video and discuss the questions now.

Welcome back.

So many ideas inspired by this painting in terms of the feelings and the experiences of people in this painting.

So lots of people saying, well, the ladies in waiting, I do want to express how distressed they are.

They are leaning against the wall.

They are crying.

They're obviously very, very unhappy.

So I would like to develop that idea.

Others saying, well, the execution is maybe more an ambiguous character.

He's holding the axe.

We know he did ask Jane for forgiveness.

He's looking down.

He does seem sad, but is he feeling the same depth of emotion that her ladies in waiting are? And then this figure, some people saying, "Yep, I think he's coaxing.

I think he is being quite tender as he moves Lady Jane Grey towards the block." And others saying, "No, I want to develop the idea that this is quite a forceful movement." And then Lady Jane Grey herself, you still want to develop that character.

So for some of you, you want that to be your main character.

And so her experiences really being developed as well.

Now Izzy and Jacob discuss their plans and they are very different plans for this same bit of writing.

Izzy says, I'm gonna start and end my piece with developing the description of the lady holding Jane's dress.

I'm going to describe the executioner briefly.

His feelings will be that he just wants to go home.

He isn't upset.

Being an executioner is his job, after all.

So that's how Izzy has interpreted this painting.

Now Jacob has very different ideas.

He says, I want Jane to be my central character, so my first and final paragraphs will focus on her.

So you can see that both of them signalling who the central character is by saying the first and last paragraphs will focus on this particular character.

I will also develop the character of the executioner because he and Jane spoke to each other.

I am not gonna focus on the ladies in waiting.

I will incorporate their experiences in a paragraph rather than devoting a whole paragraph to them.

So you can see how this discussion is very detailed in terms of who they're gonna start and finish with, who they're gonna spend more time on and who they're gonna spend less time on.

Now I'd like you to imagine that you are writing a third person omniscient description inspired by the picture of Lady Jane Grey.

And I'd like you to discuss how will you start and end your piece? Who will be your central focus? And who will you describe only briefly? And there are some sentence starters there to guide you in terms of your discussion.

So just like Izzy and Jacob, you're gonna create a plan now and you're gonna discuss this plan just so that you develop some of the ideas.

So pause the video and discuss these three questions.

Relying on the sentence artist to support your discussion.

Pause the video and complete this task now.

Welcome back, lovely to hear these discussions and such a range of different ideas.

Some people saying my first and final paragraphs are gonna focus on the executioner.

He's got quite a strange role here.

It is his job, but he obviously did feel bad about it that's why he asked for forgiveness.

So I'd really like to focus on his feelings and experiences.

Other saying, I'd really like to develop the character of the lady in waiting who's in the background.

She's got her face against the wall and she's obviously unable to look at the scene.

And who you're going to spend less time on so that you can just incorporate those experiences into a paragraph.

It's absolutely fine to spend less time on a particular character.

They do not need all equal time.

So you should have a really, really good idea about the sort of structure of your descriptive writing.

Now particularly with the characters you're gonna focus more or less on.

Now Izzy plans the first sentences of each of her four paragraphs.

So not the entire paragraph plan, but just the first sentences.

So she's got a bit of a direction for each paragraph.

And you can see the first one is Lucy rested her head against the wall, unable to look at the sumptuous stress of her mistress crushed on her lap.

So she has decided that one of the ladies in waiting is called Lucy and she's focusing on the dress that she's holding in her lap.

Second paragraph is gonna begin, Jane couldn't see Lucy, but she could hear her.

So the focus is gonna be on Jane.

The third paragraph, Moses looked at his feet.

So it's easily decided that the executioner, it's called Moses.

How long should he wait? What was appropriate? Jane could hear the steel blade grind against the floor.

So she got a couple of sentences there to start her third paragraph.

And her final paragraph, Lucy fixed her eyes on the ceiling.

A small crack travelled from its corner to the centre of the room and she followed its line.

So we've got four sentences there.

Very clearly showing what each of Izzy's paragraphs will be about.

So each paragraph has a clear focus that signalled at the beginning and she's just signalled it in terms of character, which is a great way to do it.

So we've got Lucy, Jane, then Moses, and then Lucy again.

And Izzy's final paragraph, you can see it links to her first paragraph.

So the first paragraph is focused on Lucy.

Lucy rested her head against the wall.

But the final paragraph is also focused on Lucy and that gives it a nice sense of finality in terms of the structure of her piece.

So we know what a really good plan could look like or the start of a really good plan in terms of creating those first sentences of each paragraph.

We've got this checklist here.

So does each paragraph have a clear focus signalled at the start; and the second, do the first and final paragraphs to the focus on the same character.

That can give a really nice sense of structure to your piece.

Now let's look at Jacob's paragraph.

The first sentence is so that we've got his plan, we've got Jane concentrated on finding the block.

That's his first sentence.

First paragraph, sorry.

Second paragraph, Hew felt the smooth handle of his axe pressing into his palm.

So for Jacob, the executioner, it's called Hew.

Three, her friends press themselves into the wall, tears wouldn't come.

And finally, Jane's hand remained in mid-air.

So does Jacob's paragraph plan? The first sentence is of his paragraph, do they meet the checklist? Pause the video and select your response now.

Welcome back, well done.

A lot of information to take in there in terms of the first sentences of all of Jacob's paragraphs, all four of them and that checklist.

But you are correct, his paragraphs, the first sentences of each paragraph and that plan there do meet the checklist.

We've got Jane, Hew, her friends, and Jane.

So we definitely have a clear focus signal at the beginning of each paragraph.

And we've got the first and final paragraph link 'cause they're both focused on Jane.

Well done.

So here is the prompt.

Write a description inspired by this picture.

You had a lot of discussion about this picture and you know some of the facts behind it.

I would like you to write the first sentence of each of your four paragraphs meeting this checklist.

So the first is to have a clear focus signal at the start of each paragraph.

And the second is your first and final paragraph should focus on the same character.

So we're not writing the full piece, we're just writing the first sentence of each of your four paragraphs and you've got the checklist there to support your writing.

Give this task the time that it deserves.

So you've got a fantastic plan for your descriptive writing and a clear focus for each paragraph.

Pause the video and complete the task now.

Welcome back, lovely to see those discussions that we had earlier in this learning cycle in terms of how you wanted to structure your piece, really come to fruition with these first sentences of each of your four paragraphs.

Let's do some feedback.

So recall Jacob's plan met the checklist.

So he had a clear focus signalled at the start of each paragraph.

We had Jane, then Hew, her friends, and then Jane.

And we also had his first and final paragraph focusing on the same character because they both focused on the character of Jane.

I'd like you to identify where your own plan meets the checklist.

So you've got a different character for most of those paragraphs apart from the first and final paragraph, which should focus on the same character.

Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back, and well done for completing that check.

Some people had to change maybe their second or third paragraph.

I think I haven't signalled very clearly which character I'm focusing on.

I have done that now.

Lots and lots of people saying, "Yep, I can see the structure of my piece 'cause I can see that the first and final paragraphs link together." All right, we're now gonna move on to our second learning cycle.

We're gonna add some detail to these paragraph plans.

We've got the first sentences of each of our paragraphs.

We know the focus, but let's develop some of that detail.

So we've got a fantastic plan for our descriptive writing.

So Izzy uses single paragraph outlines to plan each paragraph.

So she's got four, and she has used a single paragraph outline to plan each one.

So the first thing she's done is she's got her topic sentence, introduces the main ideas in your paragraph, and she writes these in full sentences.

Now you've already written these, you wrote them in learning cycle one.

Then she's got her supporting details, the ideas you will use in your writing along with key vocabulary.

And you can just do that in note form.

And finally, the concluding sentence.

So concludes the main ideas in your paragraph.

So your paragraph becomes a really tight focused bit of writing all focused on the same thing.

And this will create a really fantastic plan 'cause you'll have your first and final sentences written in full, and then you'll know what's gonna go in the middle of your paragraph 'cause you've got those supporting details.

So here is an example.

Let's look at Izzy's first paragraph plan.

So Lucy rested her head against the wall, unable to look at the sumptuous stress of her mistress crushed on her lap.

So we saw this sentence from learning cycle one, and obviously Izzy is using this air for her paragraph plan.

Nice use of that word sumptuous.

Remember means rich and luxurious.

And as I said, it's often connected to the idea of fabric.

Then we've got her supporting details.

She's gonna focus on a loose thread and it's gonna be crimson, so red, which she twists around her finger.

She's gonna remember seeing Jane wearing the gown.

You can that Izzy has used just notes there.

So J.

signalling that she's talking about the character of Jane, but it can be a note form for your supporting detail.

And the dress is cold and unmoving, corpse-like in her hand.

So another note there about how she wants to describe the dress.

And then her final sentence, she'd been suppressing her sobs all day, but now they came in swallowed, painful gulp.

So we're still focusing on the character of Lucy and as he's concluding her ideas there.

So we've got that topic sentence with a clear focus.

Lucy, as I say, you have already written these.

We then got the vocabulary and techniques that Izzy wants to use.

So nice word there.

Crimson instead of red.

And then corpse-like, so she's got a simile in the main body of her paragraph.

And then let's have a look at this concluding sentence.

So she'd been suppressing her sobs all day, but now they began to come in swallowed, painful gulps.

It's a really nice sentence and it definitely concludes the ideas in this paragraph.

However, she's also done something else.

This concluding sentence is gonna link to her next paragraph.

So her second topic sentence, you remember, was Jane couldn't see Lucy, but she could hear her.

Now where's the link here? Well, Lucy is crying, and Izzy has noted that she is sobbing and the sobs are coming out in swallowed, painful gulps.

So it's a really nice transition here between the two paragraphs.

We are moving onto a different character.

We're moving onto the character of Jane, but Jane is hearing Lucy.

And so we've got a nice journey through the text here.

So it's a really skillful way to create structure through your paragraph, and we're gonna have a focus on that in this learning cycle as well.

So let's have a check and we're really gonna focus on the idea of connecting the two paragraphs, the concluding sentence to the topic sentence of the next paragraph.

And then you're gonna be able to do it in your own planning.

So here is a concluding sentence to a third person omniscient paragraph inspired by the execution of Lady Jane Grey.

So of course that's the prompt that you are following as well.

And this is the concluding sentence, Jane Flinched as she heard the axe scrape against the floor.

So this is the final sentence of a paragraph which is focused on Jane, which would be the best topic sentence for the following paragraph.

So the next paragraph.

Would it be, I decided not to move again: the grind of the axe seemed to scare Jane; b, the axe's screech woke the executioner from his sleepy trance; or c, the ladies in waiting were also there sobbing silently in the shadows.

Which would be the best topic sentence for the following paragraph? Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back, well done.

Really carefully thinking about what it means to structure a piece.

And what would be the best topic sentence for the next paragraph.

Well done if you said, b, the axe's screech woke the executioner from his sleepy trance.

Now why would that be the best topic sentence? So the last paragraph is finished with the idea that Jane has flinched because she's heard the axe scrape against the floor.

We are now moving to a new character.

We're moving to the executioner.

But what connects these two paragraphs is the sound of the axe.

So we've got a really, really nice link.

A transition, a journey between these two paragraphs.

If we look at a, I decided not to move again, well spotted.

We cannot use that because we're using third person omniscient and that would be first person.

So that is an incorrect answer.

And c, the ladies in waiting were also there, sobbing silently in the shadows.

Now that topic sentence could work, but is it the best one? No, because we do not have the link between the two paragraphs.

So we're just moving jolting air from Jane all the way to the ladies in waiting.

Any separate sound, a different sound.

The idea of sobbing rather than the idea of the axe.

So b, the axe's screech woke the executioner from his sleepy trance is the best because it provides a link between the two paragraphs.

All right, remember the prompt, write a description inspired by this picture.

Now you have your first sentences for each paragraph, but you're now going to create a plan, a detailed plan for each paragraph of your description.

So you'll get your topic sentences.

You've already written these.

For each topic sentence, select the vocabulary techniques you want to focus on and then you are gonna have your concluding sentence.

Now the focus here is going to be making sure that you are concluding sentence in some way links to your next topic sentence.

So it could be through a sound, it could be through a taste, it could be through a movement, but you need to move from one character to the other.

Creating some sort of link, just like we saw in the check where we saw that the sound of the axe linked the two paragraphs together.

And Izzy's example also relied on the idea of sound where we had the sobbing of her lady in waiting.

So give this task the time that it deserves so you've got a fantastically detailed plan for each paragraph and your entire descriptive writing piece.

Pause the video and complete the task now.

Welcome back, well done for thinking really hard there and making sure that each paragraph is developed in sufficient detail.

Lovely to hear some brilliant vocabulary coming through.

And of course, looking at those concluding sentences and seeing how they can link to the next topic sentence.

Let's do a bit of feedback focusing on this particular structural device.

So I'd like you to consider each of your paragraph plans.

You'll have four.

And I'd like you to discuss how does each concluding sentence link to the next topic sentence.

So you can see that diagram there to help you with your discussion.

How does each concluding sentence link to the next topic sentence? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, so lovely to hear that discussion and to hear you talking about the structure of your piece.

So often we focus on language and other methods like simile, metaphor, alliteration, which of course really, really important to give time to those.

But thinking about structure can really lift your peace.

And having this idea in your mind that a concluding sentence should link to the next topic sentence can be a great way to give structure.

You can do that.

You can move between characters, linking them maybe in terms of a sense, so a sight, sound, touch, something that you can hear.

But there are also other ways that you can do it where you make a connection in terms of the phrasing or the ideas in one concluding sentence to the next topic sentence.

In summary, a third person omniscient narrator can move between the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of all characters.

Paragraphs can allow us to signal shifts and focus to a different character.

Each character does not need to be described in equal detail.

To structure your piece, your first and final paragraph could focus on the same character.

To further structure your piece, you could link the concluding sentence of paragraphs to the next topic sentence.

It has been such a pleasure to see you develop fantastic plans for a piece of descriptive writing inspired by "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey", and I look forward to seeing you next time.