Lesson video

I'm Mrs Crompton, welcome to today's English lesson.

Our focus today is narrative writing and looking at ways to create movement.

You will need a pen and paper as well as the piece of writing that we did on beginnings.

Take a moment to make sure you've cleared any distractions away and have everything you need to hand.

So firstly, just a quick reminder of the task that we are working with at the moment.

And we are writing a story about a dangerous situation as suggested by this image.

We've have had a reminder about our success criteria and in terms of organisation, I going to be looking to build our piece of writing together piece by piece, looking at the different components and really drilling down into making each parts effective.

The capillary selection is important as well as our technical control.

I'm going to spend a little bit time today thinking more precisely about the impact of different punctuation choices in order to jet help generate that movement.

Yesterday, we began our plan and you should have that with you also, and we are focusing on a specific question that we're trying to answer it within our narrative and our attempts to resolve that question.

So to the learning for today, what we're really wanting to do is to think about this piece that we're creating and for it to generate interest for our reader, just as a whole narrative might, even though we can't write the whole story.

So what we're going to be looking at a waste, generate the texture to generate different pace and movement.

As we work through our response.

Last week, we looked at the technique of zoom in.

We looked at how that particular stimulus image allowed us to think about inside and outside.

And we looked at symbols.

So from that little checklist, we could still use symbols today and we can still use zoom-in, inside outside.

Isn't relevant for the image that we have.

And this is exactly what I want you to be able to do to have lots of options when you're writing.

And then you can make your design choices for each piece as is appropriate.

Today we're going to look at fallacy as a technique, and we're going to look at that in a zoomed out manner.

We're going to look at how punctuation can be used for a fact.

And we're also going to look at how tension can both be created and how anticlimax work particularly focusing on our key story of the week, Samphire.

Again just as we did in our previous session, we're going to have a split between the notes that we take to help us make design choices in the future and the actual writing that we are producing.

So your notes today, we'll start with a heading of writing techniques at the top of your piece of paper, please.

And then we're going to have a look at a few, both ideas for us to consider some definitions and also some sample extracts.

I'm not going to be analysing those extracts for their language use in depth of detail.

But I want us to be looking at how particular methods are being used by the writers that we're looking at it with a lighter's eye, looking to see how we can use ideas from existing writers to help us with our own work.

So just as you did in yesterday's session, that again will be for you to gather evidence and notes and take down some observations of things that you like and you've observed in professional lighters work.

Okay.

So let's start with pathetic policy as a literary device.

It's the literary device in which human emotions are attributed to aspects of nature, such as the weather.

Said to explain.

In Jacqueline Hyde fog appears at times when the characters are experiencing real confusion.

So the properties of fog you can't see very well and things are up skilled linking with how the character is feeling about the events in the text.

So it's this idea of the environment, matching the character's emotion.

To exemplify that further, we're going to look at an extract and today's extract is from Frankenstein written by Mary Shelley.

And we're going to be looking in particular at chapter five, which is where the monster is born.

In terms of this extracts, the little bit of background, Shelly writes this narrative against the backdrop of the industrial revolution and as were many as was the case with many of the romantic writers, she's quite critical and questioning of the impact that industrialization is having on society.

In particular, the idea that she plays around with is the responsibility of a creator.

You can create something, but then you have to think about the consequences of what you have created.

And in this particular extract, we've got this idea that Victor Frankenstein, is actually the father of the monster.

And there's a really interesting tension between the responsibility that he owes this being that he brings to life and the fact that he, for him, it's a scientific experiment that has gone wrong and is not going to be what he wanted it to be.

So, those are the ideas in the background, and we're not going to get too heavily into that, but why do want you to track with me are the following? And just to keep you a little bit of a key, things in orange are things to do with pathetic fallacy.

So there are examples where the environment is matching the action and particularly what's starting to go on in Victor Frankenstein's mind.

Things that I've picked out in pink are interesting in relation to precise the capillary choices and things that really start to build the contrast between what he wanted and what the reality of the situation is.

And then in purple, I have picked out things that relate to characterization of an antagonist bigger.

So how is the monster described right from the outset? It is in a negative aspect.

I've also underlined a few things where the punctuation is quite interesting.

So just look at how emotion and sentiments of the voice of Victor Frankenstein are being promoted through that use of punctuation.

So I should read through it with you as I am doing that, I'm going to leave it to you to consider the effects of the highlighted words and the methods used using the key that I've suggested.

So orange for pathetic fallacy, pink for the vocabulary choices that create Victor's perspective, purple for the vocabulary that creates the Monster's characterization, and then look out for the punctuation in particular where I've emboldened dates and underlined it.

Okay.

It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my tiles with an anxiety that almost amounted to agony.

I collected the instruments of life around me that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet.

It was already one in the morning, the rain pattered dismally against the panes and my candle was nearly burns out when, by the glimmer of the half extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open it breathed hard and to convulsive motion, agitated it's lens.

How can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe or how delineate the wretch in with such infinite pains and cat? I had endeavoured to form.

His limbs were in proportion and I had selected his features as beautiful.

Beautiful, great God, his yellow skin scarcely covered the work of muscles and arteries beneath his hair was of a lustrous black and flowing his teeth of a pearly whiteness.

But these luxurious is only formed a more horrid contrast with these watery eyes.

The seemed almost of the same colour as the dumb light sockets in which they were set is shrivelled complexion and strep black lips.

So, as we go through, I'll just track back a little bit that for us, we have a setting of November the end of the year.

It's a dreary night and it's raining.

It's one in the morning.

Nothing good will come of anything that's going on at one in the morning.

It's, it's just such an iconic horror moment.

We've got Victor toiling, the pain of his creation, the candle, really symbolic of goodness and light that's disappearing.

And then it's a catastrophe as an act.

And he describes the beauty that he had intended in his creation.

And then the horror of war.

He actually gets the shrivelled straight black lips and the description of it as a wretch.

And it's a lifeless thing and it means nothing to vector.

So those things are all going on within the text.

And then you can see the punctuation's really quite, quite effective in this passage where we get the questioning.

So it's all from the knowledge from Victor's perspective, isn't it it's first person narrative.

I had endeavoured form.

all the care that he puts into it.

Beautiful, beautiful, great God.

And that's really powerful to really communicate his sheer horror of what has happened.

So having thoughts of this passage, there are a few things that are going on in terms of structuring and the use of pathetic fallacy in particular.

Well, I'm now going to do is to hand it over to you and you're all going to rewrite, reread and extract from the climax of our story of the week samphire and in particular, what I'd like you to focus on is the way that the sentence constructions are working.

Look at the variety that Brian uses and look in the way that he uses punctuation.

Look at the way the questions is look at the way that speech is used.

Look at the way that dashes are used to either add information or later to show that the character of lessee is breaking down in control.

Okay.

So just a few things for you to look through.

And again, this is a note taking exercise for you to observe how that works in a piece of writing and to borrow ideas for your self.

control is over to you.

I will be waiting for you to resume whenever you are ready.

welcome back.

So at this point, if you just take a moment to read over your notes and focus on the green bullets, which is to just pick out three learning points that we've got so far, from what we've looked at.

Once you have done that we will continue.

What I'd like you to do now is to spend 10 minutes writing your climactic moment paragraph.

And what I'd really like you to consider is the use of pathetic fallacy within this paragraph.

Try to remember your narrative perspective.

So this is why you need your beginning, so that you're being consistent, be precise, and you have a capillary choices, and also start to think about the precision of your punctuation.

So 10 minutes for writing, when you're happy that you have got your paragraph, as you want it to be resume with me again.

welcome back.

Now, the next part, I want us to just have a little bit of a focus on before we complete our learning for today is the way that in some fire, the widened perspective is youth.

So going to reread sections from our short story, and we're going to have a look at the way that a bigger perspective adds scope to our writing and depth.

So we've got a little bit of an extract from the beginning while we have the clips.

And then we've got a little bit where that it's almost goes off on a tangent.

If you remember the scene from the tobacco in his shop.

It's reread those with a writer's eye.

This time, thinking about how the sexing, the wider perspective adds to the then focus on the characterization, which is the central problems there.

How do we use widening the perspective to add an extra dimension to our writing? As it's a story that's familiar to you, I'm going to leave that control with you.

But in particular, we have two bullets to focus on how does it create a pause or an anticlimax? How does it highlight details about the characters? So how is it used as the backdrop almost foregrounding what's going on in the characters.

Over to you? I will be waiting for you as usual at the other side.

Welcome back.

So from your observations there again, top three learning points, things that you might try, it might be that you want to have something like a background of the clips and then move into the close upon characterization.

It could be that you want to have the anticlimactic moments, any of those ideas, any phrases, any other points that you've picked up? Just a little review of the notes that you have taken.

And from there, like going to move into your writing a zoom-out paragraph, just to really try and consolidate our thinking.

So you now have 10 minutes to write a zoomed out, widened perspective, paragraph, consider the tone and the fact that you want to achieve.

Are you wanting to heighten tension or reduce it? And think again about that precise use of the capillary as you work through this section.

Over to you.

I will see if I said.

welcome back.

So, final 10 minutes.

Now offer us to think about reviewing and critiquing what we've done so far.

So you now have 10 minutes to read what you have written today, alongside the beginning you wrote in lesson three.

And what I want you to think about as you're doing this is how everything is fitting together and think about how you're keeping the consistency of tone.

Remember that was one of the success criteria.

We need to know that with writing isn't jarring, it doesn't suddenly switch and it doesn't suddenly feel like it's not the same piece of writing, which could happen because we've done it over two sessions.

So, we're looking for the consistency of tone, unless you have deliberately tried to change the feel.

And we did have some deliberate changes in our model text of some fire didn't we? So, what we're looking at that now is how we're fitting together.

All of the different pieces of writing that we have done so far.

So over to you, pause the video to complete your task and restart once you're done.

Welcome back everybody.

So hopefully you've had an opportunity now to look through your writing and it could be that you think that I want to change that.

That's absolutely fine, Please do.

That's exactly what this process is for.

And if you remember, I said to you, right at the beginning of the session, writing needs you to be a critique yourself.

You need to look back at what you've done.

You need to add it, you need to self monitor.

And that is difficult under timed conditions.

However, what I'm hoping that we're going to get into the habit of is having those pauses in our writing while we do glance back at what we've just written and check that the cohesion is secure.

To finish the learning for today, you have a recap quiz to complete.

All that remains for me to say is thank you for your focus.

Please remember to bring all of this writing with you to tomorrow session.

It's less than five, our final lesson of the week, and we're going to end our narrative.

Enjoy the rest of your learning today.