Hello, my name is Ms. Grant.

I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me today.

We are in the world at war short stories unit.

Today we are going to be looking at Catherine Mansfield's short story, "The Fly," and we're gonna turn our attention to the main character, the boss, and we're gonna think, how is the boss presented? We're gonna have a really close focus on clear topic sentences and then some really lovely analysis.

You're gonna be able to show off your skills and refine your analytical writing.

I can't wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you're going to be able to explain how Mansfield presents the character of the boss in "The Fly." We spend the most time with this character.

He's the protagonist.

We see a range of emotions that this character goes through.

There's no one interpretation of the boss, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the analytical paragraphs that you produce by the end of today's lesson.

There are some key words which are gonna be referenced throughout this lesson, and they're going to help us achieve our objective.

They are on the board now, and if you wish to pause the video, go through each of their definitions and note anything down, then please do.

I'm gonna draw attention to just one of these keyword state symbolism.

This is when writers use something to represent intangible ideas.

The fly in "The Fly" is an example of a symbol.

Now an intangible idea is something that you can't touch.

An idea like grief or loss or love is intangible.

You can't touch those.

In comparison, a tangible idea, now the fly is tangible it's something that you can touch.

A table, for example, is tangible.

So symbolism is one of the important methods that Mansfield uses in her short story of "The Fly." As I say, we're gonna reference these key words throughout today's lesson, but if you want to pause a video now, then please do.

Our lesson outline for today.

We're gonna start off by focusing on clear topic sentences so that our paragraphs have focus, have drive, and then we're gonna turn our attention to main body paragraphs, what an excellent analysis look like.

Let's start off with clear topic sentences.

Now Jacob is going to answer this question, how does Mansfield present the boss in "The Fly?" Like you, Jacob is gonna answer this question.

Now first he annotates.

Great thing to do with an essay question just to make sure you've got a complete handle on what you're being asked to do.

Here are his annotations.

How, he underlines the word how, and he notes that he needs to explore Mansfield's methods.

So one of our key words stay, these are the tools that Mansfield uses to create her work.

So language choices and structure are some of the clearest examples of methods.

Symbolism is a method that Mansfield uses in her story to present the boss, to explore the boss.

And then Jacob also underlines the boss because he knows he needs to explore this character.

There a range of characters in the short story and he knows that his writing needs to focus on the boss.

Jacob develops his annotations with two questions.

The first is, which of Mansfield's methods would be most helpful in terms of analysing the presentation of the boss? So analysing, making a comment on the boss.

And his second question is, which references, quotations or plot points to the short story would best help me explore the boss? So some really good questions to really unpack Jacob's thinking when he's approaching this essay question.

Now I'd like you to discuss, how would you answer Jacob's question? So Jacob has done the annotation for us, which is really helpful, but how would you answer these questions? And that means you'll start generating your initial ideas, how to answer this question.

Pause the video and discuss Jacob's two questions now.

Welcome back.

Lovely discussion there, showing off your fantastic knowledge of "The Fly," the plot, some quotations there, but also a really, really good understanding of Mansfield methods.

So some people saying, "Well, I do want to focus on symbolism." The story is called "The Fly." The fly is a really important symbol and I want to interpret that in relation to the boss.

Others saying, I want to focus on her use of metaphorical language.

So there are loads of metaphors and similes throughout this story, and I want to start to unpack them and explore how it means we're meant to be interpreting the boss.

Others saying, I really want to look at this turning point in the story where Mr. Woodifield mentions the boss's son's grave.

That seems to be a really important moment in terms of understanding who the boss is.

These are just some of the ideas that I heard during that discussion.

You'll have lots and lots in order to initially think, how would I answer this question about how Mansfield presents the boss in "The Fly." Now after annotating the question, Jacob continues to plan by drafting two topic sentences.

So the first sentence is of his paragraphs, which are gonna state the paragraph's main ideas.

Now he reminds himself a topic sentence explains the focus of an individual paragraph.

So you'll have loads of different ideas about the boss.

You cannot talk about all of those ideas in one paragraph.

You need to separate them out and a topic sentence is a good way to signal this is the idea I'm gonna talk about in this first paragraph.

So here are Jacob's topic sentences.

The first one is, Mansfield presents the boss in her short story, "The Fly." And the second is Mansfield uses lots of methods like character foils and symbolism to present the boss in her short story, "The Fly." Now I'd like you to discuss, do Jacob's topic sentences explain the focus of each paragraph are the successful first draughts of those topic sentences.

Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, a really careful discussion showing off your brilliant knowledge of what it means to write a focused topic sentence.

And you are correct.

Neither of these sentences are particularly focused topic sentences.

So the first one, Mansfield presents the boss in her short story, "The Fly." So Jacob has focused on the correct character, but he hasn't said how the boss is presented.

And in the second one, this topic sentence doesn't have a focus because he has split his focus.

He's talked about character foils and symbolism.

That's double focus rather than just focusing on one thing.

So rather than listing the methods that Mansfield uses, actually picking one and thinking, how does it present the boss.

So Jacob redrafts his topic sentences, topic sentences are really difficult.

It's good to spend time planning them and redrafting them.

So he changes his first one.

Mansfield presents the boss in her short story, "The Fly".

Two, Mansfield presents the boss as a man whose outward appearance of success and stability masks his profound feelings of grief.

Profound meaning deep.

And the second one, Mansfield uses the symbol of the fly to present the boss as a character filled with despair.

Now each topic sentence has a really clear focus.

So rather than just saying, Mansfield presents the boss, Jacob said, Mansfield presents the boss as a man whose outward appearance of success and stability masks his profound feelings of grief.

And in the second one, rather than focusing on character foils and symbolism, this time Jacob thinks I'm just gonna devote this paragraph to the symbol of the fly.

So each topic sentence now has a really clear focus.

Excellent redraft.

Now check for understanding before you write your own topic sentences, which is the strongest topic sentence answering at this question.

How does Mansfield present the boss in "The Fly?" Is it a, Mansfield uses the fly as a symbol for many different things like the boss's son and the boss himself? B, Mansfield uses Mr. Woodifield as a foil to the boss, the comparison allowing us to see that for all his success, the boss is struggling to deal with his grief.

Or c, Mansfield writes, he the boss had left the office a broken man with his life in ruins.

The metaphorical language shows just how damaged the boss is.

Pause the video and select which you think is the strongest topic sentence.

Pause the video and complete the check now.

Well done if you selected B, Mansfield uses Mr. Woodifield as a foil to the boss.

So this topic sentence has a very clear focus.

We're gonna look at Mr. Woodifield as a foil to the boss and the fact that the boss is struggling to deal with his grief.

If we look at a, the focus here of this topic sentence is apparently the fly rather than the boss himself.

And the fact that it's a symbol for the boss's son or the boss, that's a double focus there.

It's a bit of a confused topic sentence.

I'm not quite sure what the paragraph is going to be about.

And if we look at C, it's best not to use a quotation in a topic sentence 'cause it leads you towards analysis.

And really what you want your topic sentence to do is state what you are going to talk about, not move into analysis.

It is nice of course to look at metaphorical language.

And the quotation here selected is an accurate one, but is not appropriate for a topic sentence.

So I would like you to write two topic sentences which answer the question, how does Mansfield present the boss in the fly? And we've got Jacob's reminder there that a topic sentence explains the focus of an individual paragraph.

We've looked at some really good examples and non examples in this learning cycle.

You've had some great pointers to Jacob in order to redraft his topic sentences.

So I'm really looking forward to seeing your clear focus topic sentences that you produce at the end of this task.

Pause the video and write those two topic sentences now.

Welcome back.

It is lovely to see in front of me a range of topic sentences, but what unites 'em is that they all have a really clear focus.

Now let's remember Jacob's topic sentences which each had a clear focus.

So the first one was about the boss as a man whose outward appearance of success and stability masks his profound feelings of grief.

And the second one was about the symbol of the fly and that in relation to the boss.

And you can see on the board that we've highlighted the focus of Jacob's individual topic sentences.

So I would like you to identify the focus of your own topic sentences.

You might underline it, you might highlight it, you might write a note at the side, but in some way, identify what the focus of your topic sentence is just to reassure yourself that you have a very clear focused topic sentence.

Pause the video and complete the self-assessment now.

Welcome back.

Lovely to see people having identified the clear focus of their topic sentence.

Now you can feel really confident as we move into our next learning cycle, where we're going to write our main body analytical paragraphs.

So we're gonna select the evidence which proves these two topic sentences that you have just written.

So let's move on to main body paragraphs.

Main body paragraphs where we are going to select quotations and we're gonna explore those quotations.

And crucially we're going to explore Mansfield's methods.

So the tools that she has used to create "The Fly" and the effect of the methods that she has selected that she has employed.

So Jacob now turns his attention to selecting quotations, which will support his topic sentences.

Quotations should support your topic sentence, come from across the text, be rich in methods.

Now this second bullet point, the idea that you would select quotations that come from across the text.

For me that was a light bulb moment when I was at first learning to write analytical paragraphs.

'Cause before I'd always just selected one quotation and focus all my energy in analysing that.

But actually having multiple quotations really strengthens your argument, really shows that you can prove your topic sentence because it doesn't just happen once in a text, but it happens in multiple moments in a text.

It also means that you can explore a range of different methods that a writers use rather than just having one quotation and therefore just one method to look at.

So Jacob writes his first main body paragraph.

Here it is.

"Mansfield presents the boss as a man whose outward appearance of success and stability masks his profound feelings of grief.

Initially described as stout and rosy, his physical and mental strength is emphasised through comparison to Mr. Woodifield, who is a frail old figure.

The boss lists all the modern, expensive items in his office, but his inability to reference the photograph of a grave-looking boy in uniform foreshadows his inability to cope with Woodifield's reference to his son's grave later.

When alone, the boss admits the loss of his son brought the whole place crashing about his head, leaving him a broken man with his life in ruins.

Through these metaphors, Mansfield reveals the stout boss to be fragile, and the expensive items are symbols of the emptiness of his life." So this is a fantastic main body paragraph.

Let's have a look at why it is so good.

So this first sentence is Jacob's topic sentence.

We recognise it from earlier in the learning cycle.

And all of the evidence in his main body paragraph supports this topic sentence, the idea that we've got outward appearance of success, but profound feelings of grief.

Profound remember meaning deep.

Now if we have a look at Jacob's quotations, first of all, what we notice is there's lots of them.

And the second thing we might notice is they come from across the text.

So stout, rosy, frail old figure that comes from the opening of the short story, grave-looking boy in uniform that's in the middle, brought the whole place crashing about his head, broken man, ruins, that comes near the end of the short story.

So we can see that Jacob has a complete handle on the whole of the text because he's so able to select quotations from across the text.

I really like how some of those quotations are just one word and some are slightly longer.

And then finally, we can see that Jacob has a really close attention to method.

So he looks at comparison, Mr. Woodifield compared to the boss, we have this idea of listing.

We have the idea of foreshadowing.

So mentioning something that highlights, it gives an indication or warning of something that will happen later.

We've got the metaphorical language about the boss.

He's a broken man, his life is in ruins.

And then this idea of the symbol.

So the expensive items in his office, things that you can touch, they are tangible.

They represent actually the intangible ideas of the emptiness of the boss's life.

So this is an incredibly strong, powerful paragraph that Jacob has written.

So before we write really strong, powerful paragraphs ourselves, just like Jacob, let's recall what quotations should do so that when we come to write our paragraphs, our quotations meet this checklist.

So quotations should support your topic sentence, be rich in methods.

What is the third thing that quotations should do? Pause the video and complete the check now.

Well done if you wrote, come from across the text.

So one of the reasons Jacob Paragraph was so strong is because he didn't focus all of his attention energies on one quotation, nor did he focus all of his attention energies on one moment in the text, but instead he had a range of quotations from all across the text.

So for each of your topic sentences that you wrote in learning cycle one, I would like you to select the quotations that you will analyse, and I advise you to really spend some time with the short story, "The Fly," so that you can select the really powerful quotations that you want to analyse.

They might just be one word, they might be slightly longer, but it will require you to really look closely at the text the fly.

I've got a reminder of the checklist there.

So quotation should support your topic sentence, come from across the text, to be rich in methods.

After you have selected your quotations, you're gonna write your two main body paragraphs.

And just like Jacob, you're gonna write a really rich main body paragraph, which has quotations from across the text.

And you're gonna explore some of the methods that Mansfield uses in his quotations.

Just a note before you start, Jacob's interpretation of the character of the boss is a strong interpretation and it was well argued.

It is not the correct interpretation.

You might think, "I interpret the boss in an entirely different way." That is absolutely fine.

We are looking for strong analytical paragraphs, not the correct interpretation of the boss, because there is no correct interpretation of the boss.

It is what you get from this short story.

So pause the video, give this task the time that it deserves.

Get your pen, your laptop, whatever it is you are writing on.

I'm so looking forward to seeing these analytical paragraphs and seeing your interpretation of the boss balanced with your skillful analytical writing.

Pause the video and complete the task now.

Welcome back, well done for giving that task the time that it deserves.

You should be so proud of the analysis that you can see in front of you.

I know you had those really strong topic sentences written in learning cycle one, and I can see the quotations that you selected will prove that topic sentence.

It's also been really nice to see you explore methods.

Getting to know this short story, Mansfield method a little bit more.

We're gonna do some self-assessment before we celebrate your work.

So I'd like you to reconsider Jacob's main body paragraph.

Remember it had that great topic sentence at the beginning, that all of these quotations came from across the text.

He had a number of those quotations.

And finally, that he paid really close attention to the methods that Mansfield uses in her short story.

So with that success criteria, I would like you to self-assess your own paragraphs, identifying where they meet the checklist.

Pause the video, and complete the self-assessment now.

Welcome back, well done for giving that editing task the time that it deserves as well.

Planning, writing, editing, all of equal importance in the writing process.

It was nice to see people annotating where they have met the checklist, but also making a few other corrections saying, "Oh, I can see that I should have a full stop here and I didn't." "Oh, I missed out a quotation mark," or "I missed out a capital letter here or there." I always like going back and returning to something that I have read because with those fresh eyes that a little bit of a break after you've been writing, you can see the things that you want to make it even better.

In summary, a topic sentence states the focus for a paragraph.

Including multiple quotations in a main body paragraph from across text can help strengthen your analysis.

Exploring the methods a writer has used can help to develop your analysis.

You don't need to analyse every quotation in the same amount of depth.

It has been such a pleasure seeing you interpret the boss and then write some really strong analytical paragraphs today.

I look forward to seeing you next time.