Hello, welcome to your lesson today where we are going to use propping up the line to help us with our descriptive writing.

I'm Miss Sutherland and I'll be teaching you today.

Our learning outcome for today is to be able to write a vivid description, which captures some of Alfred's experiences and memories of the frontline.

So we are going to be using our great knowledge and enjoyment of propping up the line to help us write our very own vivid description of the frontline.

We have four key words.

Let's go through them.

Vivid, vivid means clear, powerful, and realistic.

So if we're creating a vivid description, we want our paragraph, we want our description of the frontline to be clear, powerful and realistic.

We want our readers to believe that what we are describing is indeed an accurate depiction of the frontline, and we want 'em to understand what it was like in the frontline through our vivid description.

Wilfred Owen.

Wilfred Owen was a British soldier and poet, best known for his poems about World War I.

So we are going to use some of Wilfred Owen's description of the frontline to further help us with our own descriptions.

Methods.

Methods are the tools a writer uses to create their work.

They can be language choices, setting, characterization, and single paragraph outline.

A single paragraph outline is a way to plan a paragraph in which you write the first and last sentence and carefully consider the details you want to capture in the paragraph.

I'll give you a moment to reflect or jot down those keywords now.

Off you go.

I'm really excited to get started with today's vivid descriptive writing.

So in today's lesson, we are going to first look at what makes for a, what makes for a vivid description.

So we're going to look at some examples of vivid descriptions, and we're going to see what's good about them.

And then in our second learning cycle, we'll plan and write our very own vivid description.

So let's start off with what makes for a vivid description.

So today we are writing a vivid description in which Alfred recollects his time at war.

As stimulus we will focus on when Alfred helps Alice with the washing and the sound and sight of it transports Alfred back to the frontline.

Remember, the frontline is the part of the battlefield that's closest to the enemy army.

So we can remember that the frontline is a very scary, intense and brutal place to be.

So Izzy says, when she read the description of Alfred helping Alice with the washing, she remembers Beck using the words flap and crack to describe the fabric.

And these words both created really vivid imagery for Izzy.

Discuss why might Izzy have chosen those? Why might Izzy have chosen those two words as powerful? And which of the two words do you find the most vivid and why? Pause the video and discuss.

Perhaps Izzy chose those two words, because they evoke very strong sound imagery in which the sounds very much remind us of the frontline, and reminded Alfred of the frontline.

Out of the two, I probably find crack most vivid, and that is because the word crack uses onomatopoeia to create this really powerful sound.

And we could use this word to create a vivid description of the frontline.

We could use it to describe the artillery or the gunfire.

Perhaps you decided that you find a different word the most powerful, that's okay.

Beck's short story is part of a body of literature which creates vivid descriptions of the frontline.

In other words, many other poets and authors have work about World War I and about the frontline in which they describe it thoroughly in which they create vivid descriptions.

And Wilfred Owen is one such poet that also has their work in this body of literature.

So let's consider a section of one of Wilfred Owen's poems in which he explains how those who have been on the frontline can't escape its horror.

"Always they must see things and hear them batter of guns and shatter of flying muscles." So that's a line or two from Wilford Owens poem, "Mental Cases." I want you to discuss what methods does Owen use to create a vivid description over those two lines.

Pause the video and discuss.

You may have noticed the sensory language in that poem.

Always they must see things and hear them.

So we already know we're going to be talking about two of the five senses.

If we move to the second line, we can see sound imagery through batter of guns.

And indeed the plosive in batter helps the sound imagery to be even more impactful on the reader.

We could also say that the vivid imagery is created through quite gruesome details such as shatter of flying muscles that creates a really grotesque and brutal, horrifying image in our minds that successfully evokes the horrors of the frontline.

Now, I want you to match the sentence stems to their endings to check your understanding of what we've just discussed.

Let's go through them together.

So both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline because? Both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline but? And both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline so? Pause the video and complete those three sentences.

Off you go.

Let's start off with the first one then.

Both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline, because they used carefully considered methods to craft their writing.

So their carefully considered methods allows them to create the descriptions of the frontline.

Next, both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline but Beck writes in paragraphs, Owen writes in verse.

One is the author of a story and one is the author of a poem.

Therefore, the way in which they write are different.

And lastly, both Beck and Owen create vivid descriptions of the frontline, so the reader is more easily able to understand the horror of trench warfare.

So that sentence describes the purpose of both Beck and Owen and many other World War I authors.

They write vivid descriptions of the frontline in order to help us understand what that must have been like being so close to the enemy army, and being exposed to brutality, to heavy artillery fire, and other atrocities.

Now, I want you to reread lines 455 to 472 of propping up the line.

And I want you to read a section of one of Wilfred Owen's poems. You can find many of his poems that really brilliantly describe trench warfare.

And thirdly, I want you to annotate each extract answering this question.

The question is what methods do the writers use to create a vivid description of experiences on the frontline? Pause the video and get annotating.

Off you go.

So Izzy knows she will write her own piece of vivid descriptive writing using these extracts as stimulus.

She says, "I was really inspired by the verbs Owen uses, particularly shrink and break.

I think Owen was trying to evoke the sounds of the frontline, but also that the men are smaller, broken, shattered versions of themselves, because of their experiences.

I definitely want to use powerful and carefully considered verbs in my own writing." So I want you to discuss now what inspired you in these extracts.

What really stood out to you? And what methods would you like to borrow to use in your own writing? Pause the video and discuss.

Some great ideas there for inspiration.

Remember, it's always a good idea to borrow from other authors and to use their brilliant ideas for your own work.

They can really provide a stepping stone to up levelling your own work.

Now let's move on to planning and writing our very own vivid description of the frontline using Owen's poetry and propping up the line as stimulus.

So Izzy is ready to plan her vivid description in which Alfred recalls the time on the frontline whilst helping Alice with the washing.

She's going to use a single paragraph outline to support her planning.

Here is what a single paragraph outline looks like.

You start with a topic sentence.

You add four pieces of supporting detail and you finish with a concluding sentence.

So in the topic sentence, you must provide context.

So what Alfred is doing and why.

You want to start off with writing about what Alfred is doing and why to give the reader an understanding of the scene and to position them exactly where you want 'em to be.

If you just launch straight into the description, the reader might be disoriented.

So make sure to first introduce the scene and the context of it before you begin describing any detail.

In the supporting details, that's where you are going to put your methods and key vocabulary that you want to use in this work.

This is the part where Izzy will include all those powerful verbs that she liked, for example, shrunk and shatter.

This is the part where you could also write that you want to use alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor, simile, et cetera.

Don't just write the name of the method, write the sentence in which the method will be used, and maybe even write about the effect you're trying to create.

That plan will be the most helpful.

And finally, in the concluding sentence, you will need to offer some sense of finality to the descriptions.

You need to end it in a way that the reader knows that it's finished.

A way to show your writing is finished might be to change the tone, to have something impactful happen to the character.

So here is Izzy's first draught of her planning.

Her topic sentence is "Alfred grasped the prop, ready to push with all his might." And her supporting details are that she'll use a metaphor, she'll use good verbs like shrink, she'll use symbolism, and she'll use long sentences.

Her concluding sentence is "Nell silently observed Alfred's shrunken frame." Sam gives her some feedback on this plan.

What do you think Sam might give Izzy as feedback? Pause the video and discuss.

Sam's feedback is that Izzy's supporting detail is too vague to be helpful when she comes to write.

Maybe you said that as well.

The reason for that is because Izzy said she wanted to use a metaphor.

She wanted use symbolism, and she wants to use long sentences, but without actually specifying which metaphor she'll use, what she'll create as a symbol, et cetera.

The plan won't help her when it comes to write.

The plan won't save her any time or thinking space when she comes to write because it is not detailed enough.

So let's now think about how to create effective and helpful supporting detail, which is the stronger piece of supporting detail.

Let's read both.

On the left we have, "Washing will come crashing down, and then Alfred will react to it, scared trauma." Number two, "Metaphor or simile about clothes pegs.

Alice will hand them to Alfred," and then on the right we have the next plan.

Washing will come down, will come crashing down.

It's not secured properly.

It will shatter to the ground and clothes pegs in the basket like tiny soldiers scattered on the muddy floor.

So pause the video and reflect on which plan is the strongest.

Off you go.

You may have said that the plan on the right is the strongest, and that's because it details where the key vocabulary will be used, and it gives a lot of context to help the writer actually understand exactly how they're going to execute that piece of writing when they come to write.

So it is helpful and it does save time, and that's exactly how you want your plan to be.

Whereas the plan on the left, it simply outlines what the person's going to write about, but it doesn't help them actually execute that writing.

It won't save them time, because they still have to think about how to craft the writing, and the plan should actually help you craft the writing before you begin to write.

Notice how the plan on the right makes the same mistake Izzy did in her previous plan where she said she'll simply use a metaphor or simile, but she didn't write it out.

Well done.

Now, it's over to you.

I want you to plan a paragraph in which Alfred recalls his experiences on the frontline whilst helping Alice with the washing.

And then I want you to write your paragraph, your single paragraph outline, and what needs to go in each section is on the screen for you there.

Remember to make your plan as thorough and detailed as possible.

Remember to plan out the key vocabulary that you'll use and how exactly you'll use it.

Remember to write out the techniques that you are going to use as well to help you save time and energy when it comes to the writing process.

Also remember to use all of those brilliant ideas from Beck and Owen's own work to help you.

Pause the video.

And I hope you enjoy being creative in this task.

Off you go.

Well done on putting so much thought and effort into that task.

Izzy now reflects on the successes of her vivid description.

She says, "I used the inspiration I gathered from Owen and Beck in my piece.

For example, I described the washing as looking like shrunken shadows of men.

I liked Beck's use of shadows as I felt it symbolised the dead soldiers Alfred death behind.

But Owen's verb, shrink, seemed to capture the vulnerability of traumatised soldiers.

I combine them together and I'm pleased with the effect." So now I want you to reflect on your own writing.

How did you use Beck and Owen's writing as a stimulus for your own vivid description, and what do you think you were particularly successful at? Pause the video and reflect on your own writing now.

I hope that you found something to be really proud of in your writing because you put so much effort and thought and you used inspiration from Owen and Beck in a really creative way.

Well done.

Here's what we've learned in today's lesson.

Many writers use vivid description to convey the horrors of the frontline, including Owen and Beck.

Beck shows the depth of Alfred's trauma when the noise and sight of washing transports him back to the frontline.

A vivid description is the result of careful planning and close attention to methods.

Thank you so much for joining me in today's lesson where you created your very own vivid description of the frontline, all with the help of Owen and Beck.

I hope to see you in another lesson soon.