Lesson video

Hello and welcome to another lesson in this Malevolent Characters Fiction Writing sequence.

My name is Mr. Young and it is a great pleasure to be with you today on this lesson, which is all about creating physical descriptions for our malevolent characters.

So should we get started? So today's lesson has a very clear learning outcome.

So let's take a look at what it is.

So by the end of today's lesson, everybody should be able to effectively craft a physical description of a malevolent character.

And just as in any lesson, we have some very important words, our keywords.

So I do encourage you to pause the video, jot these down and their definitions, particularly if they're new to you because we're gonna using them quite a bit today.

Let's take a look at what they are.

So firstly, inference, a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning.

Show, not tell, a method used by writers, which focuses on allowing your reader to infer information instead of simply telling them directly.

And we're gonna have a go at this without own pieces of writing today, particularly when we create our own malevolent character.

Unyielding is not giving in to pressure.

Dishevelled, which means untidy or disordered, and finally implied, which is where something is suggested but not directly expressed.

So it's super excited for today's lesson.

We have two very, very interesting learning cycles indeed.

And our first learning cycle is going to be all about effective physical description.

We're gonna look at what makes our physical description of our characters as effective as it can possibly be.

And then we're gonna move on to learning cycle two by using a device that I think is really, really powerful and can really kind of elevate our writing.

And that is showing, not telling things about our character.

So super excited to move on to learning cycle two when we get there.

But before we do that, let's get started with learning cycle one and effective physical description.

So physical description of a character might primarily tell us the following things.

It might tell us what they look like, it might tell us what they're wearing.

It might tell us their body language and it might tell us their facial expressions.

So my question for you is as follows, why is physical description of a character important? It's a really nice question to kick us off with our learning today.

So hit that pause button, have a quick discussion if you're working in a group, or jot down some ideas if you're working independently.

And then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, excellent work on our very first discussion question of today's lesson, I'm hearing some really fantastic ideas, which is lovely to hear and lovely to see.

So let's keep that energy going as we go through today's lesson.

So we might have said the following things mightn't we, we might have said that it can offer a first impression to the reader, it might help us visualise this character.

And it can also give us clues about their personality.

It might tell us what that character is like.

That is what all of these kind of physical descriptions can really help us achieve in our writing.

So let's look at two examples of that in action.

'Cause we are really focusing on effective physical description.

We don't just want any old physical description.

We want our descriptions to be really powerful, to really kind of transport the reader to understand about our character.

So which do we think is better? So let's take a look at these examples.

So example A, "her eyes were like cold glinting steel cutting through the dim room with a piercing gaze, a cruel smile curled on her lips and her gaunt face was framed by shadowy dishevelled hair." And we've also got B, "She had dark brown eyes and long dark hair.

She had a frown on her face and she was hunched over.

Her clothes were always black and she looked mean." So my question for you is, which one of these do you think is better? And crucially, why do you think it's better? So hit that pause button, have a quick discussion or jot down some ideas and then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Yep, I absolutely agree with all of you.

It is absolutely example A is the better piece of writing, isn't it? And it really focuses on the physical description as well as hinting at this character's personality.

So they're a bit kind of disorganised from the dishevelled hair.

They've got a cruel smile which indicates their kind of malevolence and they're quite kind of fierce and tough, aren't they? Particularly in the description of this kind of cold glinting stare, which is compared to steel.

On the other hand, example B is very simple and it just kind of lists the physical aspects of the character, without giving them much of a personality at all.

We don't really know much about the character in example B, but we seem to have already quite a good understanding of them in example A, so really well done for all of your fantastic work in those discussions.

So let's take a closer look at this description and how it gives us an insight into this character.

Let's remind ourselves of that piece of description.

It goes as follows, her eyes were like cold glinting steel, cutting through the dim room with a piercing gaze, a cruel smile curled on her lips and her gaunt face was framed by shadowy dishevelled hair.

So what could we say? Well we could say, the simile here describes the quality of her eyes and not just the colour.

So it doesn't just say, well they they were grey like steel.

It describes them as cold and glinting like steel.

You know, steel is a really, really hard metal.

It might kind of indicate that this character has a similar kind of toughness to them.

We've also got the adjective cruel and it's used to describe the intent and the contrast with smile.

So you know, if people smile at you, it's normally synonymous with being kind of kind friendly but adding cruel to it, it immediately makes it seem a lot more sinister, doesn't it? Also got the idea of these adjectives of gaunt and dishevelled, which could potentially hint that this character is unwell.

So quick check for understanding for me then please.

Effective physical description of a character allows the reader to what, is it A, visualise the character better, is it B, list the character's physical appearance or is it C, make links to the character's personality.

So really excited to see what you say for this one.

So hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see the correct answer.

Okay, superb effort to everybody who identified A and C as the correct answer.

I think they can both be correct, can't they? It definitely helps us visualise the character better.

We get a kind of a physical understanding of what that character actually visually looks like.

But C is equally important isn't it? It really does allow us to make links to the character's personality, to really kind of understand the kind of person that they are and the impact that they are going to have on the story that we are reading.

Great job if you identified those.

So we have reached our first practise task of today's lesson and I'm super excited to see you apply these skills into your own pieces of writing.

So I would like you to do the following, so you can see that we have an image of a character or a potential character on the board in front of you.

And he does look quite sinister, doesn't he? He looks like he could be a perfect malevolent character and that is exactly what we are going to do.

So I would like you to write two example sentences describing the physical features of the character in the image below.

So I would like you to discuss your ideas and then complete the table to experiment with character description.

And you are going to use that image to guide you, but you must consider the following things.

So we're not just gonna describe this man physically, we are going to describe something else.

So the two things we want to include are, describing a quality associated with a feature, and secondly, a careful adjective selection to hint at his personality.

And I've given you some examples there to guide you so you've got his eyes and you've also got his facial expression.

You do not have to include these if you do not want to.

That is just there as a guide only.

So super excited to see your creative writing on this.

So hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to move on to some feedback.

Okay, fantastic work on that task.

I really hope you enjoyed that task.

I love creative writing like this and I think that image in particular is a great starting point for a piece of malevolent writing for a malevolent character.

It's really well done on your effort on this.

So you may have something like this.

Remember, your answer does not have to be identical to this.

This is just a way that you could have approached it.

So for our physical feature, the first one we've got the eyes, we could say something like, "His eyes were hard and unyielding like dark, polished stones".

And secondly, we could speak about his facial expression.

We could say "The scar on his cheek cut through the tension on his face while his mouth twisted into a tight unsmiling line." So both of those kind of indicate something about that character, don't they? So did you consider the qualities you wanted to highlight in your character, for example, hard or dark and the adjectives used to describe the physical features of your character.

For example, tight and unsmiling, just like the example that we had previously.

So hit that pause button, discuss those questions and then do push play when you'd like to move on to learning cycle two.

Okay, fantastic work in today's lesson so far, and we are moving through this at quite a pace, aren't we? That's 'cause we are working incredibly hard today.

So we are going to be working on one of my favourite techniques for creative writing, a technique that I think is really, really kind of easy to do but has a massive impact on our writing and that is show, not tell and in particular using inferences within that.

So let's get started.

Let's take a look at what I mean.

So when we infer we are making an educated conclusion about something based on the information we have, it doesn't have to be 100% correct, it's not necessarily factually correct, it is an educated conclusion about what we can see.

So for example, let's start with this picture we have on the board.

So we have this gentleman here and I'm not gonna tell you anything more about that.

All I would like you to tell me please is what can you see in this picture? So hit that pause button, have a quick discussion and then push play when you'd like to proceed.

Okay, fantastic conversations taking place and I agree, there's an awful lot going on here, isn't there? Let's talk about some of the things that we could discuss.

So, well firstly, it's a man in sportswear on the road.

That is literally what we can see, isn't it? We can also see that he's holding a banner of some kind and we've also got the idea that he's potentially cheering or shouting his mouth is open, kinda suggesting that, and again, a crowd is watching.

There are certainly people that seem to be spectating what this man is doing.

So these are some of the things that we can physically see in this image.

So my next question then is what can you infer about what's happening? What can you infer is happening based on these things that we have seen? So once again, hit that pause button, have a quick discussion, jot down some ideas, and then do push play when you'd like to proceed.

Okay, once again, some really fantastic discussions taking place.

It's really nice to see you kind of using the literal things you can see to kind of base your inferences.

So some things I think we could say are as follows and I heard lots of people say these, well, we could say he's been in a race of some kind, you know, he's wearing sportswear, he's in the road, it looks like he's been in a running race of some kind.

We've also got the idea that potentially, he has been the first to cross the finish line and has torn the banner.

So he has kind of entered in first place and that is why he has this kind of thing above his head.

Again, we've also got the idea that potentially it's a popular event, you know, it isn't just this guy running around the streets of a city.

There seems to be people spectating and you can almost see a guy taking a picture behind him as well, maybe indicating that he might be popular or he might even be famous.

And again, he's cheering or shouting, which could imply to us that he's excited or emotional in some way.

You know, again, kind of leaning into that idea that he has won the race.

So all of these things are inferences.

We don't necessarily know if they are true, we don't necessarily know if they are factual, but they seem like educated conclusions that we can make in response to this image.

And that's what inferences are all about.

So inference works on implied meanings and this means that the reader has to work a little harder to draw their own conclusions about what they've read.

So show, not tell works in a very similar way.

So this is when writers use implied meanings and offer hints about a character without telling the reader this information directly.

So let's take a look at another example.

So one way to use show not tell in physical descriptions is to consider the emotion of a character and then show that through a physical description which links to this.

So let's take a look, I think this is always easier to do when we actually do it in real life, when we actually apply it to a real example.

So we've got another image on the board in front of us.

So quick discussion question for me please.

What is the emotion being shown in this image? What emotion is being shown? So hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see some examples.

Okay, once again, some fantastic discussions taking place there.

And I agree with you, there are lots of different ways we could interpret this image, isn't it? We could say that he's potentially tired, you know, he looks quite tired, worn out, he's frustrated, potentially he's kind of annoyed or angry in some way or he is annoyed, something has just happened that has kind of displeased him.

All of these things are perfectly viable examples of what we could say about this gentleman.

We could probably say some more things as well.

So my next question for you is as follows.

So how could we show these emotions? How could we say instead of saying the man was tired, the man was frustrated, the man was annoyed, how could we actually show that instead, how could we make our reader work a little bit harder to get to that conclusion? So once again, have a quick discussion, drop down some ideas if you working independently and then do push play when you'd like to proceed.

Okay, once again, some fantastic work in response to that question.

And I'm really enjoying the fact that people are coming up with different things you could write about, different things you could show to indicate this man feels those things.

You know, not everyone is saying exactly the same thing and you're absolutely right.

There are a whole kind of multitude of ways that we could present those emotions in this character.

So let's take a look at some examples.

So we might have said eyes closed, head in hands, you know, downturn, mouth, taking a deep breath, sighing, all of these things could definitely indicate those emotional states.

So we could turn this information then into a paragraph like this.

So we've identified some kind of actions, some deeds that the character could do and now we can bring it into a really nice and expressive piece of writing.

So let's look at an example.

He buried his face in his hands, his shoulders sagging under an invisible weight, A deep shuddering sigh escaped him, his breath coming out in a slow resigned exhale.

The frown was etched deeply on his brow and his fingers were gripping his hair as if trying to hold on to his dwindling patience.

So a really nice piece of writing there.

So by starting with this, I'm beginning to show a negative emotion, when somebody buries their face in their, it usually shows frustration, despair of some kind.

So the reader immediately knows this character is not feeling kind of positive emotions.

Again, I then start to develop this emotion to show that he might be feeling pressured by something.

You know, the shoulder sagging indicates people are kind of down in some way.

And again this invisible weight starts to imply or infer that there is something really kind of bugging this character.

Again, it continues with a deep shuddering sigh escaped him.

And what's going on here is this is giving the character this action.

It reinforces that he might be frustrated as we often sigh when we are frustrated or annoyed.

And again, it moves on to the conclusion which was the frown was etched deeply onto his brow and his fingers were gripping his hair as if trying to hold on to his dwindling patience.

And again, this final description of his frown and the act of gripping his hair build to emphasise that he's irritated.

So all taken together, we get a really kind of negative snapshot of this character.

We haven't simply said he was tired, he was frustrated, he was annoyed.

We have shown his actions that kind of indicate that to us.

So quick check for understanding for me then please.

Inference works on implied meaning, which means readers are told information directly.

Is that true or is that false? Hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see which is correct.

Okay, great job if you identified it as false that is a false statement.

But how could we justify that? How could you justify that statement? What kind of information could you give to prove that statement? So once again, hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to see an example.

Okay, well we could say something like this, can't we? We could say inference does work on implied meanings, but this means that readers are not told information directly.

Instead they work to fill in the gaps that the text leaves them with.

So great job if you discussed this in your own conversations.

Okay, then we have reached our final practise task of today's lesson and we are going to be developing that fantastic work we started in practise task one.

So consider this image again.

We've got this fantastic image, which I think really acts as a great foundation for crafting a malevolent character.

And your task is as follows, I would like you to write a short description which shows, not tells the reader about this character.

And you can consider the following things.

So firstly, what emotion intent is being shown? Secondly, how will you show this emotion? And finally, how will you include implied meanings so that the reader infers the information.

So super excited to see how you get with this.

Really, really excited to see this fantastic creative writing that you are going to produce.

So hit that pause button, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to move on to some feedback.

Okay, fantastic work on that.

I'm seeing and kind of hearing these fantastic descriptions that are absolutely kind of malevolent characters.

You're doing a fantastic job on that.

So really, really well done.

So I would like you to swap your work with a partner and if you're working independently, just continue to use your own piece of work.

I would like you to do the following.

So as you are reading your partner's work, consider the following things.

Is it clear what the emotion behind the description is? Has your partner described physical details to show this emotion? And finally, are there examples of where your partner has shown you something about the character but not directly told you? So make sure you highlight that.

Make sure you kind of identify that in their work and of course, be prepared to tell them what a fantastic job they've done.

If you see these things, if they've been done well, then by all means tell your partner what a fantastic piece of writing that they have created.

Okay, then we have reached the end of today's lesson and it's been an absolute pleasure to teach you as always.

Let's just recap all of those brilliant things that we have looked at in today's lesson.

So firstly, physical descriptions of characters shouldn't just be a list of what they look like or the clothes they're wearing.

Physical descriptions of characters should use carefully chosen vocabulary to allow the reader to infer information.

Linking physical description to a character's personality can make descriptions more effective.

And finally show, not tell works on implied meanings.

It's been an absolute pleasure to teach you today and I really look forward to teaching you on another lesson in this sequence.

So thank you very much and goodbye.