Lesson video

Hello, there.

Fantastic to see you today.

My name is Mr. Barnsley and I'm so pleased you've chosen to join me as we continue to work on creating malevolent characters when we are writing our narratives.

Today, we're really gonna be focusing on how we structure our work and we're gonna be thinking about how we use paragraphs.

Really, really important for making sure our work is both accurate, but really clear as well as thinking about how we can carefully use these manipulate these paragraphs to reveal information about these terrible, scary characters that we are trying to create.

Now, for today's lesson, you are going to need to be able to access the worksheet and the additional materials 'cause they both include some resources that we're gonna want to be using in today's lesson.

All right, if you've got everything in front of you and you are ready to begin, then I think we can get started.

Let's go.

Okay, let's look at today's outcome then, shall we? So by the end of the lesson, you are gonna be able to use paragraphs accurately and effectively in your writing and you're gonna use these to reveal details about a character.

So four keywords and an acronym.

So our four keywords are cohesive, accurate, suspense and paragraphs.

Cohesive means in fiction writing, this means the ideas all fit together.

If something is accurate, it means it's correct in all of its details, there's no mistakes.

Suspense is that feeling of anxiousness or uncertainty, we might be feeling as we read something.

And paragraphs are obviously a technique for organising our work, they are distinct sections of a piece of writing and they usually deal with a single idea or topic.

Now, TiPToP, we are gonna come and look at later in the lesson, but I'm gonna give you a little bit of a hint.

It stands for time, person, topic, and place.

But we will look at this in more detail very shortly.

Okay, keep an out for all these keywords, you will notice that they have been bolded throughout this lesson and make sure that you are using them in your own discussions.

So today, we're focusing on using paragraphs effectively, and we're gonna do this in two parts.

We're gonna, first of all, think about and analyse how paragraphs have been used accurately.

And then we are going to do some kind of creation of our own and we're gonna use these paragraphs to reveal information about a character.

But let's start making sure that we can use paragraphs accurately.

So paragraphs are one of the most basic ways that we organise our writing.

They're made up of at least one sentence and they usually deal with one topic, an idea, an event or description at a time.

So we try and keep them very focused.

Over to you now to do some thinking.

When should we start a new paragraph in our writing? If you've got a partner, you can discuss this with them, but don't worry if you're working by yourself, you can just think through this question independently.

When should we start a new paragraph in our writing? Pauses video, have a think and press play when you've got some ideas.

Welcome back.

So you might have said when we change topic or we shift to a new idea, okay? That's the key thing that we want to have in our mind, the change of topic or shifting to a new idea.

Now, as a general rule, you should start a new paragraph each time you introduce a new time, a new person, a new topic, or a new place.

So you might want to use this phrase, this acronym TiPToP to help you remind or remember this.

So TiPToP is time, person, topic, place.

So a time might be, for example, if you move from day to night in your writing.

Person might be when a new speaker starts in if you're using dialogue or if there's a description of a second or a new character.

So a topic might be if you were originally describing the weather, perhaps the sunset, and then you move to focus on a group of children who are playing as the sun sets.

That's that shift from that topic of the weather, the sun to the children, to the characters.

And a place, for example, if we're moving between settings.

So if you start walking through a forest and then you find a building within that forest and you move inside the building, you might use paragraphs or you should be using paragraphs to show that shift from the forest to the building.

So TiPToP is a great way of reminding ourselves about that time, person, topic, place.

So even though paragraphs signal change, however, between these different topics, these different ideas, you still need to create cohesion a relationship between them.

So some different ways that you can create cohesion or make sure that your work has cohesion is having a shared setting throughout.

So it might be that you set all of your writing in the exact same place, but it shifts between time or the different people who are in that place.

You might have reoccurring themes, topics or characters.

So it might be that you are following two characters as they travel through different places.

Okay, so the person or the people stay the same, but the place is what changed.

But that connectivity, that cohesion is there because we have the same people.

And it might be that your ideas mentioned in one paragraph progress from one to the next.

It might be potentially that we're shift, it's the same people and places, but we're shifting through time or kind of different ideas progress from one to the next.

And sometimes that cohesion really works because we have clear contrast between paragraphs.

It's not always cohesion, doesn't have to always be the same idea running through, sometimes having a real contrast between two can make cohesion just in a very different way.

Okay, let's remind ourselves.

Which reason for changing paragraphs is missing from the list below? We've got person, time, topic and what? Pause video, have a think and press play when you think you've got the right idea.

Really great work if you said place, remember TiPToP.

I didn't put them in the all in the right order, but TiPToP, time, person, topic, place.

Well done if you got that correct.

Okay, we are gonna move on to our first task in today's lesson.

And you are going to need to find, you need to have the worksheet available to you because the text that we're using is on the worksheet.

Now, the text that we have created unfortunately is missing paragraphs.

What I want you to do is label where each paragraph should begin and explain the reason why.

And you're gonna want to keep TiPToP at the front of your mind as you are doing this.

I also want you to try and identify how the writer links the paragraph to create cohesion.

What links do you see from one paragraph to the next, even though there might be a change in a time, person, topic or place, but there should be some links that create cohesion.

So you are labelling why there should be a new paragraph, but what the links, the cohesive links are.

So again, a reminder, you are gonna want a copy of the worksheets in front of you and you're gonna be looking for where the paragraphs should be and why.

All right, over to you for this task.

Pause the video, give this a go and press play when you think you are done.

Good luck.

Welcome back some great work going on there and it was really great to see you being thinking so critically about where you might put these new paragraphs and why you might put them there.

All right, let's now read through this text together and I put some suggestions where I would've broken these and separated the paragraphs.

Let's have a look if you said something similar, you might want a pen in hand because in case, you said something's different and you think, "Actually, I can see now, Mr. Barnsley suggestions make more sense and I want to make some edits on my worksheet." All right, let's read the text together.

Jack stood at the edge of abandoned warehouse, the evening shadows lengthening around him.

He glanced at his watch and he frowned.

It was almost time.

The cold wind whispered through the broken windows, carrying with it a sense of unease.

Inside, the warehouse was dimly lit, the only light coming from a flickering bulb in the corner.

Jack could hear the distant sound of dripping water echoing through the vast, empty space.

Let's have a think then why might you have or why might I have separated these paragraphs here? Well, well done if you said that this first paragraph was really focused on Jack and it reflected his thoughts.

This was about a person, a character, Jack.

Whereas here, we had a change of place.

We changed from kind of outside the warehouse to inside.

But you could also see that connectivity here.

We were following the character of Jack between these two different settings outside to in.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the shadows, causing Jack to freeze.

It was Ben, his old rival, with a sinister smile playing on his lips.

"I knew you'd come, Jack," Ben said, his voice dripping with malice.

Jack clenched his fists, trying to steady his nerves.

"What do you want, Ben?" He demanded.

Ben laughed softly, a chilling sound that sent shivers down Jack's spine.

"Oh, I just wanted to see if you were still as predictable as ever," he replied.

Okay, let's break this down then and let's think about why we might have paragraphed in the way that we can see on the screen.

Well, we've got both a topic and person change in these first two paragraphs, we are moving from Jack to Ben and we are using dialogue.

And if you remember, the rules of dialogue, if a new person starts talking, we should also kind of start a new line, a new paragraph.

So we've got this kind of shift from Jack and the warehouse to introducing a new person, a new character Ben.

And then we have kind of the conversation between them.

And this continues during the rest of this where we have the person change between Ben and Jack.

So a lot of the change here is happening 'cause of a dialogue and because we are shifting between Jack and Ben, we really want to be clear, which of the characters we're talking about, which of the characters themselves are talking.

But we've got that connectivity between them, we've got that cohesion between them 'cause fundamentally, all of these paragraphs are linked because there are a conversation between two characters, Jack and Ben.

Okay, we're now going to think about how we can use paragraphs effectively to reveal information about characters.

So it's really important that we carefully plan our paragraphs because they can be used to slowly reveal information when we're writing fiction.

So let's have a think then why might you want to slowly reveal your information when you're describing an event or a character, especially a malevolent one? Pause the video and if you've got a partner, you can think through this question together.

You can share some ideas with each other.

But if you're working by yourself, don't worry, you can just pause the video and have a little bit of a think independently.

All right, pause the video, have a think and press play when you're ready to continue.

Right, welcome back.

Let's think.

Let's have a look at some of the things that you might have said.

So you might have said that you might want to build suspense and revealing things slowly can make something feel really suspenseful.

It can build up that tension.

It might be that you want to develop your characters, you don't want to tell everything about the character straight away.

That's not how we interact with people.

If you think about when you meet someone for the first time, you don't find out every single thing about them in the first conversation that you have.

We often learn about people as we get to know them better over time.

We can create mystery as well.

We don't want to know everything.

If we know everything straight away.

Where is the sense of mystery? Where is the sense of us learning and growing and also wondering and questioning about characters? And all of this added together can really increase that tension, which in turn, going back to that first bullet point, will really build suspense.

Okay, we're gonna read the model answer and this is a great model answer 'cause it slowly reveals information about a malevolent character and it does this across three different paragraphs.

It's available to you in the additional materials.

As we're reading, here are some things that I want you to consider.

What is revealed in paragraph 1? How is this developed in paragraph 2? And what is finally revealed in paragraph 3? Now if you want, you can listen to me read, okay, I'm gonna read it to you.

I am gonna turn the camera off though, so we can all focus on the writing, on the additional materials, so we're all following along and not watching the video.

However, if you do want to read independently, you don't want to follow along with me, you can pause the video now and start reading independently.

All right, if you're still waiting here, this is because you're gonna read along with me.

All right, let's get the text in front of you.

I'm gonna turn the camera off now and let's read through this text together.

Late at night, in the heart of the city, a man in a tattered coat moved through the alleys.

His eyes hidden beneath the hat, seemed to pierce through the darkness.

As he passed a street lamp, his face briefly appeared showing a sharp jaw and a scar down his cheek.

He paused, surveying the empty street with a faint unsettling smile.

The man slipped into the shadows of a nearby building, almost invisible.

From his pocket, he pulled out a small black notebook filled with scribbles and diagrams. He scanned the pages with cold detachment, each page holding secrets and plans.

He closed the book with a snap and resumed his silent journey, a chilling determination in his steps.

As he neared a dimly lit shop, the man slowed down his gaze fixed on the door.

He put on a pair of thin black gloves and approached the shop.

His movements deliberate.

He reached for the door handle, a sinister grin on his lips.

The door creaked open and he stepped inside disappearing into the darkness.

All right, now it's time for you to pause the video and work through the three questions, you can see on the screen.

What's revealed to us in paragraph 1? How is this developed in paragraph 2? What's finally revealed in paragraph 3? Pause the video, reflect on what we've just read and press play when you're ready to continue.

Okay, welcome back.

We are now gonna use these ideas as part of a discussion to really develop our understanding about how this piece of work has been structured.

So I want you to discuss with your partner or just think through this by yourself.

How does each paragraph reveal more about the character and how does it build suspense? Pause the video, have a think and press play when you've got some ideas.

Welcome back, some really fantastic discussions there.

I want to shine a spotlight on some of the brilliant things that I heard people saying.

I heard people saying that paragraph 1 was all about introducing the character.

It gives this late-night setting.

So the setting helps create this malevolence to the character.

We'll learn a bit more about their physical appearance.

There is this eerie, unsettling mood, but we can't quite put our finger on why.

And this really is about the first impression of the character.

But paragraph 2 is really about building suspense.

We've got some action slipping into the shadows and this can really represent some kind of potentially unsavoury behaviour.

We've got a notebook filled with secrets, very mysterious.

All of this creates this really suspenseful mood and we start to get hints that this character might have some sinister plans.

However, it's paragraph 3 when this malevolence is finally revealed, we get some really clear action.

The approaching of the shop, that description of the grim and that development from a smile in paragraph 1 to a grin in paragraph 2.

Grin feels just a lot more malevolent than a smile.

And it kind of, all of this helps build this really chilling atmosphere and it reveals that this character has malevolent intentions by putting those gloves on and entering the shop, it really suggests they are up to no good.

So whilst we've had hints of malevolence earlier on, I think paragraph 3 is where we're like, yeah, this is definitely a character that cannot be trusted.

All right, let's check how we're getting on then.

True or false? Immediately revealing information about a character can help build suspense and keep the readers engaged.

Is that true or false? And have a think about why you've selected the answer that you have.

Pause video, have a think and press play when you've got some ideas.

Yeah, well done if you said false and you should have been thinking actually, it's all about the slow reveal, slowly revealing information keeps readers on edge and it builds that suspense, makes the story more engaging.

All right, our final task in today's lesson then is over to you to plan an accurate and cohesive, three paragraph description of a malevolent character.

And I really want you to think about how you're gonna slowly reveal information about them.

You may want to use the following scenario as inspiration.

It could be a friend who's deceiving you.

It could be a really mysterious new neighbour.

Or it could be a secretive stranger who's just started at school.

Think about your paragraph order from introducing the character to building suspense and then really to revealing that malevolence.

So fill in this table, add some notes, and really think about what is it that you would share with the reader.

What information would you share in each paragraph to slowly reveal information about that character and slowly reveal their malevolence? All right, over to you.

I'm really excited to see how creative you're gonna be in this task.

Pause video, give it a go and press play when you're done.

Okay, some really fantastic work going on there.

It was great to see you thinking so creatively.

Before we finish today's lesson, we're gonna take a moment to reflect on the plans that we created.

We're gonna self-assess them using the following coaching questions.

Firstly, I want you to think, does your plan show a really accurate use of TiPToP? Okay, time, person, topic, place.

Does your plan show a cohesive ideas through your description? So is there links between your paragraphs? We don't want all of these paragraphs to be in isolation, there needs to be cohesion between them.

And do you slowly reveal the information about your malevolent character without giving too much away about them at the start? Check that your paragraph order works.

Okay, pause the video and take a moment now to reflect on your plan.

And if you answer no to any of these questions, why don't you take a moment to improve your plan further? All right, pause the video, take some time to reflect and press play when you are done.

Right.

That's it.

We have reached the end of today's lesson.

You have done some really fantastic work today.

I hope you're really, really proud of yourself.

I'm certainly very proud of you.

In today's lesson, we have learned that we use paragraphs to organise our ideas clearly.

We've learned that paragraphs are needed when you introduce a new topic, time, person or place.

We learned that paragraphs should be cohesive in between the shifts.

And we've learned that slowly revealing information about a character across multiple paragraphs can be really useful in creating suspense.

Great job, today.

I hope you feel really confident about everything that you've learned and you can take these into some of your lessons in the future.

It will be great to see you in some of our lessons and you continue to study alongside us.

So I hope to see you all again soon.

All right, have a fantastic day and I hope to see you in one of our lessons again in the future.

Bye-bye!.