Lesson video

Hello there.

Mr. Barnsley here.

Fantastic to see you today.

Thank you so much for joining me as we are gonna get really, really creative today.

Today, we're gonna be writing some pieces of fiction about our malevolent characters.

Now, I'm really excited to see what you're gonna bring, what kind of characters you're gonna create, how you're gonna build suspense.

But before we start, I am gonna remind you or warn you that you are going to need a plan for this piece of writing that you should have already completed.

Part of our learning today will be about reviewing that plan.

So you are gonna need to make sure you start this lesson with a plan.

If you haven't done one yet, I suggest you pause the video and you find a lesson that will help you write a plan, and then you can join us for today's lesson.

All right, once you're ready to begin, we can start together.

Let's go.

Right, let's have a look at today's outcome.

So we know we're gonna be writing a piece of fiction and we're gonna be using a success criteria to do so.

There are three keywords that are gonna be really important in today's lesson.

These are review, edit, and integral.

When we're reviewing, we're looking again at something in order to make changes.

And editing is making those changes and corrections to something for improvement.

Now, if something is integral, it means it's necessary, it's really, really important.

So let's keep our eye out for these words and see if we can use them in our own discussions today.

So, there are three learning cycles in today's lesson building towards this writing a piece of fiction about malevolent characters.

The first, as I mentioned at the beginning, is all about reviewing a plan.

So you do need to have come to the lesson today with a plan.

We're gonna take some time to review those before we start writing.

And then onto the main event, the writing, creating these excellent pieces of fiction writing about your malevolent characters.

We're gonna be doing that in the second learning cycle.

And you might have thought, "Mr. Barnsley, well, surely that's the end of the lesson." No, no, no.

We're gonna take some time at the end to really focus on the editing process to make sure our writing is the best it can possibly be.

So we are gonna start though by thinking about our plan.

So when we review something, we check to see if it needs updating or changing.

And so it's really important that we review our plans before we start writing, because we've created these plans about malevolent characters, but we really want to make sure that they're fit for purpose before we start writing.

The worst thing we can do is set off writing with a plan that's not fit for purpose.

So we are gonna review our plans against three key success criteria.

And they are, do our plans include any of the key vocabulary that we want to use? Do they include some examples of figurative language, like really exciting similes and metaphors, things that are gonna paint this vivid image in our mind? And do they include examples of where we're gonna show and not tell? A reminder, we always want to show our reader what the mood is.

We want to show the emotions, we want to show them things about the characters.

We don't want to just say the character that was tall, the character was angry, the mood was scary.

We want to show our readers these things.

But you may have looked at many, many different success criteria for a piece of fiction writing.

Why do you think I have drawn attention to these three? Why do you think these three criteria are the important ones that I want us to spend some time reviewing our plan against? Why don't you pause your video, and if you've got a partner, you can discuss this question with them.

But don't worry if you're working by yourself, you can just reflect on this question independently.

So, why do you think these three criteria are the important ones? Pause the video, have a think, have a discuss, and press play when you've got some ideas.

Right, welcome back.

Some really great discussion there I heard, and really well done to those of you using one of our keywords, that word integral.

All three of these bullet points are really integral to good fiction writing, no matter what your topic.

So you may remember that we say that not every bullet point in a piece of success criteria will necessarily be applicable to every piece of writing.

Sometimes if you try and fit every bullet point in, you may end up shoehorning something and pushing something in, and actually it makes your work feel unnatural.

That can sometimes be the case.

However, we know in any piece of good fiction writing, we want some really well selected vocabulary.

We want some really interesting figurative language that paints these really vivid pictures in our minds.

And we know we always want to be showing, not telling.

So we can definitely look for these in our plans and have this as a central criteria that we're all gonna review our plans against.

So, before we move on, let's pause for a moment.

Check for understanding.

Which integral element of fiction writing is missing from the list below.

I've got figurative language, I've got key vocabulary.

What am I missing? Pause the video, have a think, and press play when you think you've got the idea.

Really well done if you said show, not tell.

We must be showing, we must not be telling.

Really well done if you've got that correct.

All right, now over to you for our first task in today's lesson.

A reminder that the prompt we are working on, the piece of writing that we are doing is that we are writing about a malevolent character who is deceiving their friends and family.

We are now gonna take a moment to review our plan.

So I want you to swap your plan with a partner and check that your partner has included the following.

Have they mentioned the key vocabulary they wish to use? Have they got some of the examples of the figurative language they're gonna use? And have they got examples where they will show, not tell? I want you to prepare a WWW, a what went well, and an EBI, an even better if, to give your partner for their plan.

Now, don't worry if you're working by yourself, if you do not have a partner, you can do this as a self-assessment, a self-reflection activity and you can look back over your plan and think, does it meet this criteria? All right, over to you.

Now let's take some time to reflect on our plans and make sure they're gonna be really, really helpful for us as we set off writing.

All right, pause the video, review and share the feedback with your partner.

Over to you.

Welcome back.

I heard some great feedback there.

Really well done for being such supportive partners.

Now, once you've received that feedback, you're gonna need to act on it.

So let's take a moment to add any additional details that you'd want to add down or make a note of on your plan so your plan is really, really useful.

If you've done this as a self-reflection activity, now is the time to improve your plan.

Okay, pause the video again and make any changes to your plan, make any edits to your plan now.

Welcome back.

Now we have some fantastic plans.

We are ready to write.

So, how will your plan be useful to you during the writing process? How will your plan be useful to you during the writing process? Big question.

We've spent so much time on these plans, we want to make sure we can get the very best out of them.

So with a partner or by yourself, thinking through this question independently, pause the video and have a think, how will your plan be useful to you during the writing process? All right, over to you.

Welcome back.

I heard some great ideas.

I want to really shine a spotlight on some of the fantastic things that I heard some of you saying.

So I heard lots of you talking about organisation.

It really helps you make sure your ideas are effectively and clearly organised, and it's really logical for everyone to follow.

I heard lots of you talking about keeping you on track.

Sometimes when you're writing, a new idea might come to you and you think, "Oh great, this is a fantastic idea.

I'm gonna write it down." And sometimes you should, but sometimes you might write that idea down and then you go back to your plan and you think, "Actually, this idea doesn't work with the rest of my plan." And a plan can really help you keep focused on what you said you were gonna write, all right? So really, really helpful for keeping us on track.

Now, I heard some of you say it helps us save time and some of you might be saying, "Hang on a minute, that can't be right.

If I have to spend time planning, I can spend less time writing.

So actually, I get less time.

I'm getting less time to spend on my writing and that doesn't feel helpful." Well, anyone who said that a plan actually saves you time would be right, because if you've spent that time thinking and planning and mapping out the journey that you are gonna go on and you are gonna take your reader on, then you spend less time thinking about that during the writing time.

I bet if you didn't do any planning, even if you had an hour to do some writing, you would spend at least 15, 20 minutes with your pen on the paper, staring into the sky, having a think.

Whereas if you've got a plan, you can often write almost solidly for all of the time that you're given.

So, actually, planning saves time.

Well done if you identified that.

All right, let's pause for a moment.

Check how we are getting on.

True or false, you should refer to your plan throughout the writing process to help keep you on track? Is that true or is that false? Pause the video, pick your answer, and decide how did you come to that conclusion.

All right, over to you.

Well done if you said true, and you might have justified that to yourself by saying, "Actually, once you're finish with your plan, you are not done with it.

It will act as a guide to you while you're writing to help keep you on track, remind you of all the brilliant ideas that you want to include." So we love our plan and we're gonna be using it as we write.

And now it is time for us to move on to that writing.

A reminder that you are gonna be writing about a malevolent character who is deceiving their friends or family.

Bullet point one, you must refer to your plan and the success criteria to keep you on track.

Let's quickly remind ourselves of the success criteria for this piece of writing then, shall we? Ideally, we're gonna want to make sure our writing is establishing character and setting.

We want to learn about the character or characters in your writing, but also like where this piece of fiction writing is set.

You may be wanting to use some dialogue, and with our dialogue we really want some effective use of verbs or adverbs, 'cause these are the things that tell us not only who is saying something, but how they're saying and a little bit more about them.

You're gonna want to use appropriate use of sensory imagery to reflect the character.

Keyword there appropriate.

Remember, whilst there are five sensors, you do not need to try and shoehorn force every one of the five sensors into every sentence paragraph that you are writing.

Only the sensors that make sense with what you are trying to describe at that moment in time.

If you've got more than one character in your text, then you might want to have some juxtaposition so we can see this malevolence juxtapose, contrasting with those characters who are probably a lot more innocent, kind, caring individuals.

Of course, we want show, not tell.

I want you to describe the characters, describe their emotions.

You're not just gonna tell me in one straightforward sentence who they are or how they're feeling.

We want really original use of similes and metaphors, trying to avoid cliches, trying to avoid those phrases that we might have heard everyone use time and time and time again.

And of course, we want effective and accurate use of paragraphing structure to really build suspense.

You might have planned your answer to have three paragraphs where we first introduce the character, then we build suspense, and finally we reveal this malevolence only towards the end of the piece of writing.

Just a reminder that whilst we are gonna want to try and include all of these bullet points, 'cause these will all make a fantastic piece of writing, we're only gonna include them if it makes sense with what we are trying to do.

We are not gonna say force some dialogue in if we don't have a situation where two characters might talk.

We're not gonna for force juxtapositioning into a paragraph where there's only one character being described, okay? So yes, let's try and use all of these things, but not at the expense of a nice, clear bit of writing where every decision has been really carefully thought about.

All right, I am so excited to see what you are about to write.

It's time for you to pause the video and get creative.

All right, remember to press play when you are done.

Welcome back.

How did that feel? It was great to see so many of you writing kind of nonstop.

You were using your plans and you weren't kind of pausing, you weren't getting lost, you were staying on track.

That was fantastic to see, and a super well done for everyone who checked their spelling, punctuation, and grammar before they put their pen down.

That was great to see as well.

We should always get in the habit of doing that.

In fact, we're gonna talk about this in a little bit more detail shortly.

But before we move on to the final part of our lesson, I want us to self-assess the work that we've done so far.

So how are we gonna self-assess the work? Well, first of all, we're gonna read through our writing again one more time, and then we're gonna highlight one example where we've met any of the points of the success criteria.

So where have we established character and setting? Where have we used dialogue? Where have we used sensory imagery? Where's an example of juxtaposition? Show, not tell.

Similes, metaphors, paragraph structure.

Let's identify, let's really look at our work and see where we have done some really good stuff.

But we're not just gonna highlight it, we're also gonna annotate it.

We're gonna put a little line to it, we're gonna label it and explain why we made that choice.

What was our intended effect? What would we want the reader to feel at that point in the text? So, we're gonna do some self-assessment now.

Read your work.

Highlight where you've done some really good stuff when you met the success criteria, and annotate and explain its intended effect on the reader.

All right, pause the video.

Over to you.

Right, welcome back.

We are entering our final learning cycle.

And earlier in the lesson I said I was really impressed by anyone who checked their spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

And I was, but we're now all going to spend some time in that reflective moment and actually gonna do some editing of our work.

Now, editing your work is a really, really important part of the writing process.

It gives you an opportunity to improve it.

When we think of an author or someone who writes reports for newspapers or websites, they are never gonna submit their first draught.

They are always gonna look at it, review it, and edit it.

Because editing our work might look like changing or adding in sentences or sections which help us meet the success criteria.

It might mean checking our work for errors and correcting them when we've identified them, but it could also mean removing any sections of our work that actually we think don't work particularly well.

So it's not just about adding new things.

It can be taking things away too.

All right, let's check our understanding of what editing your writing means.

It means that you a, check and correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.

Is it b, make changes to your work to improve it? Is it c, reread your work to see what you've achieved? Pause the video and select an answer or answers that you think can finish this sentence.

All right, pause the video, give it a go, and press play when you think you're done.

Yeah, really well done if you said a and b.

A was very specific here about checking for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.

And of course, that's not editing.

It is the correcting of those errors that is editing.

But editing is more than just spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

It could be your ideas, it could be your sentences, it could be full paragraphs that you might want to take away or add.

It's all about improvement.

So based on the self-assessment you did at the end of the second learning cycle, I want you now to give yourself a WWW, or what went well, and an EBI, an even better if, something that you would like to do even better next time, but actually you're not gonna do it next time.

You're going to do it now.

So I want you to use your EBI, use your even better if to improve by editing your work.

All right, take a moment then to think what have you done well and what could you do better? And then let's make those changes.

All right, pause the video, give this a go, and press play when you think you are done.

Welcome back.

It was great to see you being so forensic looking at your own work there and really thinking about how you can make it better.

One of our eight pupils, Alex, did the same task to you and he gave himself an EBI that he wanted to include more original similes.

He'd actually looked at his own work and thought some of his similes were maybe a little bit cliched, a little bit obvious.

So he changed one of the similes in his work from as sneaky as a snake to as quiet as a shadow in the night.

Now, Alex reflected on his change and he says this about the change that he made.

He said, "I'm really proud of my redrafted simile, because it's less cliched and it gets across how malicious my character is.

The word quiet still shows how my character is sneaky." Now, we are gonna do something very similar to Alex to finish the lesson.

I want you to take a moment to reflect on the changes that you have made today and I want you to write down one thing that you are really proud of in the edited version of your work, okay? So we're focusing on the edits that you have made.

So why don't you start that with "I'm proud of?" So last time to reflect on our work, look at those edits you've made, and think of something you are really, really proud of today.

All right, pause the video, give it a go, and press play when you are done.

Right.

Okay, that is it.

We have reached the end of today's lesson.

I am so proud of the work that you have done today and I hope you're really proud of yourselves.

You have done some fantastic creative writing and you've created some pretty horrible characters, if I'm honest with you.

All right, before we finish today's lesson, we're gonna do a quick review of everything that we have learned today so you can feel really confident before you move on to your next lesson.

So we have learned that reviewing your plan before writing could help ensure your written work meets the success criteria.

We've learned that reviewing your writing after you finish your first draught is a really important step in the writing process.

We've also learned that editing and improving your work is crucial for the continual development of your written work.

Okay, really fantastic job today.

I hope to see you again in one of our lessons in the future.

Have a great day with the rest of your day, however you choose to spend it, and I hope to see you all soon.

Bye-bye.