Hello, my name is Miss Willow, and I'm going to be guiding you through today's learning.

Today's lesson is called "pressure to change boundaries", and it fits into the unit "Healthy relationships: how can we have healthy boundaries?" During this lesson, we're going to be talking a little bit about peer pressure, so for this lesson, we recommend that you have an adult with you.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe tactics for maintaining your boundaries.

Before we get started with today's learning, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means we're not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions, as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, "We need to not have any judgement ." This means we're not going to judge anyone for what they think, what they feel, or what they've experienced.

And Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We're now going to go through the keywords for today's learning.

These are gonna pop up multiple times throughout today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each word means.

First of all, we have the word "boundary".

This is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

Peer pressure.

This is when someone tries to persuade or force someone else to do something.

And finally, we have "maintain".

In this context, this means putting in effort to keep a relationship healthy and working.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords, and when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called, "How might people try to change our boundaries?" Our second learning cycle is called, "How do we maintain our boundaries?" And finally, our last learning cycle is called, "Why should we respect other people's boundaries?" Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

How might people try to change our boundaries? Our boundaries help us to behave and interact with others in a way that makes us feel comfortable and safe.

For example, we might have a boundary that we only like to hug people that we're really familiar with, so if someone asks us, "Can I give you a hug?" we might say, "No thanks.

I only hug family and close friends." This shows someone maintaining a boundary.

Because everyone's boundaries are different, sometimes we might experience peer pressure to change what our boundaries are.

This might be because someone doesn't understand our boundaries, or why it's important to respect them.

So in this scenario, someone might say, "Can I give you a hug?" And we might reply with, "No thanks.

I only hug family and close friends." And if they don't respect our boundary, they might say, "Oh come on, it's not a big deal." They might do this because they don't understand our boundaries, or why respecting them is important.

One way that people might try to change our boundaries is by making us feel like we're being too sensitive for having a particular boundary.

They might say something like, "Oh come on, it's not a big deal." "Be fun for once.

It'll be fine." "You're too serious." All of these things make someone feel like they're being too sensitive for having a particular boundary.

Another way that someone could try to change our boundaries is by making us feel guilty for having or maintaining them.

For example, they might say things like, "You've made me really upset now," or, "If you were really a good friend, you would do this." They could say, "You're being so selfish.

I didn't think you were this unkind." All of these things makes someone feel guilty for maintaining their boundary.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're getting on so far.

I'd like you to decide whether each phrase is trying to make someone feel like they're being too sensitive or if it's trying to make them feel guilty.

In the first scenario, someone says, "If you really cared about me, you'd do this." In the second, someone's saying, "You're making such a big deal out of nothing! Just do it, it'll be fine." And in the last scenario, someone says, "I guess we're not really friends after all, if you won't do this." Which scenario suggests that someone's being too sensitive, and which suggests that they're trying to make them feel guilty? Pause the video.

Tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that these were the correct answers.

The first scenario tries to make someone feel guilty.

The second tries to make them feel like they're being too sensitive.

And the last makes someone feel guilty as well.

Well done if you got these correct answers.

We may feel peer pressure from friends to do something that we don't want to do.

This might be to go somewhere we're not comfortable, to share something online that we don't want to, to do something risky or dangerous, to share something personal with them, like how we feel or an experience.

Even if a friend is pressuring us to do something that they is kind, such as giving us a hug or encouraging us to talk about a personal problem, if it goes against a boundary of ours, this is not okay.

We may feel peer pressure to share images or videos that are embarrassing, or make us feel uncomfortable.

Someone could say, "Everyone shares things like this.

Don't worry about it!" Or, "I promise I won't share it with anyone else." What people choose to share online is entirely their decision, but they should always share safely.

Police officer Paula says, "It's important to remember that it's almost impossible to completely delete something that's been shared online, as others could easily screenshot or share it with others." Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

"It is easy to delete things that we share online, so we shouldn't worry about what we share.

We can share anything." What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video.

Tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that it's almost impossible to fully delete something from the internet, as others can share or screenshot it.

Therefore, people should only share things online that they feel comfortable sharing, and they should never feel pressured to share something they don't want to online.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

We're now moving on to our first practise task, and you're doing a brilliant job so far.

For this task, I'd like you to answer Andeep and Laura's questions to show your understanding of how people might try to change our boundaries.

Andeep asks, "How might someone try to make us feel if they want us to change our boundaries?" And Laura asks, "What are some examples of what we could feel peer pressure to do?" Pause the video and we'll go through the potential answers in a few minutes.

Let's see what you might have said.

To answer Andeep's question, "How might someone try to make us feel if they want us to change our boundaries?" you might have said that they might try to make us feel like we're being too sensitive, or that we should feel guilty for having or maintaining those boundaries.

To answer Laura's question, which was, "What are some examples of what we could feel peer pressure to do?" you might have said that we might feel peer pressure to go somewhere we're not comfortable, to share something online, for example, something embarrassing or personal, to do something risky or dangerous, to share something personal with someone, or to be in someone's personal space, for example, to give them a hug.

Well done if you had any of these answers or if you had something similar.

It's time to move on to our second learning cycle, "How do we maintain our boundaries?" We can maintain our boundaries by stating what we're uncomfortable with, and in some cases we might like to suggest an alternative.

This means to do something different.

In this scenario, Andeep says, "Hey Jacob, do you want to come to my birthday party this weekend?" But Jacob says, "No thanks.

I don't feel comfortable being around lots of people.

How about we do something together next weekend?" Jacob is maintaining his boundary by saying no, but he's also suggesting an alternative.

Some people might prefer to just say no, and this is okay too.

We never need to explain our boundaries to people if we don't want to, but it can be helpful for people to know what our boundaries are, so that they don't accidentally cross them.

Aisha says, "I don't like hugs, so please don't try to hug me, as this makes me feel uncomfortable." In this scenario, Aisha is choosing to explain her boundary.

She says, "I don't like hugs, so please don't try to hug me, as this makes me feel uncomfortable." Laura is a good friend, because she says, "Thanks for telling me.

Now I know not to try to hug you.

I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." There are lots of different ways that we can maintain our boundaries.

For example, we could say, "No thank you," "I would prefer to do something different," "I'd prefer if we didn't," "Could we do this instead?" This shows someone suggesting an alternative.

"I'm good, thanks!" Sometimes people might not know that they're pushing our boundary, so it's important to be kind but firm when we maintain our boundary.

Let's do another check for understanding.

If someone is putting peer pressure on Jun's boundary, what could he say to maintain his boundary? Could he say, A, "I'd prefer not to do that today.

Let's do something else instead." Or B, "I guess I can do that, if it would make you happy." What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A is correct.

If someone is putting peer pressure on Jun's boundary, he could maintain his boundary by saying, "I prefer not to do that today.

Let's do something else instead." Here, Jun is saying no, but he's offering an alternative.

In scenario B, "I guess I can do that, if it would make you happy," this would mean that Jun is not maintaining his boundary, because he's prioritising making the other person happy rather than prioritising him feeling comfortable.

Well done if you got this right.

If someone isn't respecting our boundaries, or we're unsure how to tell someone what our boundary is, we should seek support from a trusted adult.

Farah says, "A trusted adult can help explain to someone why respecting our boundaries is so important.

A trusted adult could a parent, carer, or an adult at school that we trust." We can also maintain our boundaries by removing ourselves from the situation.

This might mean walking away from someone who is putting peer pressure on our boundaries.

We could say, "I don't want to do that, so I'm going to do something else instead." If we're online and we want to remove ourselves from a situation, we can block someone who's putting us under peer pressure.

We could leave a group chat.

We could stop replying to someone.

We could turn off our digital device.

We could delete an app.

And Farah reminds us that a trusted adult can also help us if we're experiencing peer pressure online.

Let's do another check for understanding.

How can we remove ourselves from a situation if we feel peer pressure online? Can you remember? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that we can block someone who's putting us under peer pressure, leave a group chat, stop replying, turn off our device, delete an app, or talk to a trusted adult for help.

Well done if you had any of these.

It's time to move on to our second practise task, and well done for your hard work so far.

For the first part of this task, Sofia is experiencing peer pressure to change her boundaries in person.

Can you give her two pieces of advice that could help her to maintain her boundaries? In this scenario, someone is saying to Sofia, "Come on, Sofia! It'll be fine! Just do it!" Pause the video and we'll go through the potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Sofia could say no.

She could suggest an alternative, if she wants to.

She could explain her boundary, if she feels comfortable to.

She could talk to a trusted adult for support.

Or she could walk away from the situation.

Well done if you had any of these.

For the second part of this task, Izzy has received a message online.

Can you give her two pieces of advice that could help her to maintain her boundaries? In this scenario, someone is saying to Izzy, "Just send me a video.

I promise I won't share it with anyone." Pause the video and we'll go through the potential answers in a few minutes.

You may have said that Izzy could block the sender, stop replying, leave the group chat, if that's where she received the message.

She could turn off her digital device, she could delete the app, and she could also talk to a trusted adult.

Well done if you had any of these.

It's time to move on to our final learning cycle.

Well done.

You're doing a brilliant job so far.

Our final learning cycle is called, "Why should we respect other people's boundaries?" Good friends always respect each other's boundaries, even if their boundaries are different.

Laura says, "I love hugs, but Aisha doesn't.

I make sure not to hug her without her permission.

I get hugs from my other friends, who also like hugs." If we ignore someone's boundaries, this can make them feel uncomfortable.

They might also feel unsafe, worried, upset, and they might trust us less.

When we respect someone's boundaries, we're telling them, "I respect you.

I care about you.

I want you to feel safe.

Your boundaries are important, and I value our friendship." This makes the other person feel cared for, respected, and safe, when we respect another person's boundaries.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

How might Lucas feel in this situation? In this situation, someone is saying to Lucas, "I know you said that you don't play online games with people you don't know, but they're a friend of mine.

I think you're just being a bit silly." How might Lucas feel in this situation? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Lucas could feel uncomfortable, unsafe, worried, upset, or less trusting of the person saying this, because they're putting him under peer pressure to change his boundaries, and they're making him feel like he's being too sensitive, too.

It's important to remember that everyone's boundaries are equally important and worthy of respect.

Some people might feel as though their boundaries are more important than someone else's, but this isn't true.

In this scenario, Sofia says, "Can you please not shout at me? I know we're playing, but the noise is making me feel uncomfortable," and Laura says, "But I always shout when I'm excited.

It's fun." It can be difficult when our boundaries are different to someone else's, especially if it's a person that we care about and that we're friends with them.

Calmly talking to somebody, listening to how they feel, and being open to compromise can help us to make sure that everyone feels comfortable.

Farah tells us that compromise is when we come to an agreement where both people are happy.

This might look like Sofia saying, "Can you please not shout at me? I know we're playing, but the noise is making me uncomfortable," and Laura saying, "But I always shout when I'm excited.

It's fun." Instead, Sofia could then say, "Why don't we do some singing together instead? We both enjoy doing that," and Laura could say, "Okay, sounds good." This shows both people coming to a compromise, and they're both happy.

Compromise is not one person's boundaries being ignored.

It's usually everyone involved coming up with a new idea that allows everyone to feel comfortable.

Sometimes this might mean doing something different together, one person doing something different to the other, or spending some time apart.

Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Is this statement true or false? "Our boundaries are more important than those of others." What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said, "Everyone's boundaries are equally important and worthy of respect.

We can agree to compromise if our boundaries are different to someone else's, but we should also respect other people's boundaries and not peer pressure them to change them." Well done if you said this or something similar.

Let's move on to your final practise task, and you're doing a brilliant job, well done.

In this scenario, Lucas has a boundary that he won't play online games with people he doesn't know.

Izzy is finding understanding this tricky.

Can you explain to Izzy why she should respect Lucas' boundary and suggest what they should do next? Izzy is saying to Lucas, "I know you said that you don't play online games with people you don't know, but they're a friend of mine.

I'd really like to play games with both of you." Can you explain why Izzy should respect Lucas' boundary and suggest what they should do next? Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Izzy should respect Lucas' boundary because ignoring Lucas' boundary could make him feel uncomfortable, unsafe, worried, upset, or less trusting of Izzy.

Everyone's boundaries are equally important and worthy of respect, and good friends respect each other's boundaries.

Next, they could come to a compromise.

They could talk about the problem and listen to each other, or they could spend some time apart.

Well done if you got this right.

We're now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that sometimes we might experience peer pressure to change our boundaries.

People could peer pressure us to do things that we don't feel comfortable doing, such as sharing embarrassing images or videos online that might make us feel unsafe or upset.

It's important to seek support from a trusted adult if we're experiencing peer pressure or if someone is not respecting our boundaries.

And good friends respect each other's boundaries, as they know everyone's boundaries are equally important.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some questions or some worries.

It's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some organisations on the screen that are there to help you, too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I'm really proud of you, and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.