Today's lesson will concern aspects of sexual health and sexual relationships.

It might be a lesson that you feel more comfortable with a trusted adult nearby while you complete it, or with someone available to help answer any questions or for you to discuss aspects that may be sensitive to you.

So make sure that you have an exercise book or a piece of paper and a pen or something else to write with at you ready so we can start our lesson.

Our agenda for today's lesson involves of course, the introduction quiz, which I hope you've already completed.

And at the end of the lesson, I will direct you to our exit quiz.

In between the quizzes, you'll be learning all about sources of sexual pressure.

So what are the different types of sexual pressure? Where does sexual pressure come from? I'll be teaching you how to recognise sexual pressure, how to manage it, and we'll be thinking about how not to pressurise others.

So our key words and terms for today.

Consent.

It refers to the permission for something.

For example, sexual intercourse to happen, or the agreement to do something.

We talked about consent before, but it's going to be a really key part of today's lesson.

Pressure is when somebody attempts to convince and persuade somebody else to do something they may not be fully comfortable with.

And coercion.

This is almost like pressure taken to the extreme.

The practise of persuading somebody to do something using force or threats.

So putting pressure on somebody to do something is different to coercion where we're actually using threats or force to make them do something that they're not comfortable with.

So some quite adult ideas that we're going to be discussing today.

So reflecting on those key words, are coercion and pressure the same thing? True or false? Please point to the correct answer.

The answer is indeed false because coercion is when threats or force is used.

Pressure can exist without those aspects.

Thinking back to our previous lesson, we talked about healthy communication within an intimate relationship.

Can you recall what's meant by that and perhaps give me some examples? Please jot that down on your piece of paper now.

Okay, hopefully, you've had chance just to write one or two ideas down and to reflect on our learning from last time.

Let's have a look and a reminder of those things.

Healthy communication involves taking time to listen, respectful manners, being honest with yourself and with the other person, not interrupting or talking over them, and not putting pressure on them, and putting each other at ease.

You may come up with some different ideas there, that's absolutely fine because there's lots of ideas we covered about healthy communication.

But these were some of the main ones.

Well done if you remembered some aspects of healthy communication with an intimate relationship.

I'd like you to please copy and complete this paragraph.

Please fill in the blank spaces with one of the words that you can see at the bottom of the screen.

Obviously, thinking about the word that you think correctly fits with the sentence at that point in the paragraph.

Please pause the video to complete the task and press play when you are done and we'll check our answers.

Thank you.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Shall we have a look at the answers? So opposite sex relationships involve a man and a woman.

Same sex relationships involve two men or two women.

Often, people in an intimate relationship choose to make this a legally and/or religiously recognised union.

This is marriage.

Many people choose to remain unmarried, in a relationship, or single, not in a relationship.

So let's move on to the new learning in today's lesson.

We're talking here about sources of sexual pressure.

Where does sexual pressure come from? What do we mean by that? So sexual pressure, the feeling that is placed on somebody that they should be having sex.

They might not be comfortable with the idea, but where there's this feeling that they should be doing it.

Someone feels, "I'm not quite happy, but maybe I should." And there's an inner voice telling them it's not right for them, but they're feeling like, they're perhaps really sure they're going to upset people.

They feel like they're going to let all this down, or they're going to be embarrassed if they don't have sex.

So that's what we mean by sexual pressure, the feeling of sexual pressure, a feeling that you should be having sex, even though there's something telling you that you shouldn't be.

And where are the sources of sexual pressure come from? Comes from what other people are doing.

So it might be knowing that your friends, your peers, people your age are having sex.

Maybe from reading about celebrities and their sexual relationships in magazines or online, on social media, et cetera.

From pornography, that's something that, as a young person, you might have come across and that might make you feel like, "I should be doing that." Even though you don't have to.

Sexual pressure might come from what other people are telling you to do.

So it could be that you've got friends or a partner, or it could be just the social expectations within a friendship group where the message really is, "No, you should be having sex." And again, if that message is being given to you, it will put pressure on you.

And there can be emotional and psychological pressure, which really takes pressure that little bit more further into perhaps, a dangerous zone where someone might be saying to you, "Well, if you loved me you would do it." Almost like what we would call emotional blackmail.

I'd like you to reflect on the sources of sexual pressure.

And I would like you to please complete the sentence by pausing the video and writing down the rest of the sentence on your sheet of paper or your exercise book.

So the sentence says, "A main reason why people might feel pressurised into sex is.

." So in your own words, can you please pause the video and complete that sentence now? Okay, thank you.

Hopefully, you paused the video, you've completed the sentence, and we're ready to reflect on, on what you've written.

So I've given the example here that the main reason why people might feel pressurised into sex is because their friends are already having sex.

You may have talked about all the types of pressure.

You may have talked about the emotional or psychological pressure of, "If you loved me, you would do it." You might have mentioned celebrities, social expectations, et cetera, lots of different reasons that we went over.

But hopefully, you've now got really clear idea of what we mean by sexual pressure and how actually there's various different places where that pressure can come from.

So let's just go over this and double-check that we've got the learning around source of sexual pressure firm in our minds.

Which of these options is a source of sexual pressure? Going to give you three options, and I'd like you to point in a moment to the correct option.

So is it what others do? What we see celebrities and/or our peers or friends doing.

Is that source of sexual pressure? Is it what others tell us to do? Like our partners and friends.

Is it's emotional pressure? "If you loved me, you would do it." Please point to correct answer.

It might be that there's actually more than one correct answer.

So you might need to point to more than one.

Can you do that now, please? Okay, let's have a look and see if you're right.

What others do, that is a source of sexual pressure.

What others tell us to do is a source of sexual pressure.

And indeed, emotional pressure.

"If you loved me, you would do it," is also a source of sexual pressure.

So there's a little bit of trick question there because all of these options were correct.

All of them.

All three options represent a source of sexual pressure.

Well done if you got that, and sorry if I tricked you a little bit there.

Hopefully, again, to reinforce in your mind the different ideas about where sexual pressure can come from.

So how can you recognise? So building on that last task and enhancing our understanding a little bit further, we're thinking here about Joseph, who wants to tell his boyfriend that he's ready to have sex and would like him to consider moving to this next stage of their relationship, but Joseph does not want to put pressure on him.

So which statement do you think Joseph would use if he doesn't want to put pressure on his boyfriend? Would he say, "I really want to have sex.

If you love me, I think you would do it.

Please, for me." Would he say, "I know you'd really enjoy it if you tried it." Or would he say, "I really care about you, and I think I'd like us to have sex, but only when you feel ready.

What do you think?" So which of those statements do you think Joseph would choose to use? Remembering he does not want to put pressure on his boyfriend at all.

Please point to the right answer now.

Okay, let's have a look at whether what you think is the least pressurising of those statements matches my answer.

So it's the third statement.

"I really care about you, and I think I'd like us to have sex, but only when you feel ready.

What do you think?" Joseph is clearly stating what he'd like to do, but he's making it really clear that there's no pressure and he's inviting his boyfriend to have a discussion about it.

So how can you recognise sexual pressure if you are experiencing it or if you're worried that you are experiencing it? In a respectful relationship, positives are not used to pressure someone to have sex.

By that, what we mean is, "I'll do this for you," or "It'll be really great if we have sex because here's going to be the benefits for you if we have sex." A respectful relationship, there should be no threats.

"I am finished with you if you don't have sex with me." "I'll break up with you if you don't have sex with me." There should be no manipulation, no bullying involved.

It's really important to note that consent cannot be assumed and it's always necessary.

And we'll talk about that a little bit later on.

And just because you may have had sex before in a different relationship with somebody else or with that same partner, it does not mean sex can be expected every single time.

Giving consent to one type of sexual activity also does not mean you've given consent to different types of sexual activity.

Every event of sexual activity needs to have full consent.

Something we will go on to explore a little bit more later on.

So it's important we're familiar with what sexual pressure might look like so that it can be recognised.

So again, another multiple choice question here.

Which of these options is not a type of sexual pressure? Is it seeking consent respectfully? Having a caring discussion to ensure mutual agreement to sex.

An expectation to repeat.

Person has had sex before, so they've got no excuse to say no.

Threats and persuasion.

Causing fear that relationship will end if that person doesn't agree to have sex.

And positive pressure, promising that sex will be this amazing positive experience.

So one of these is not a type of sexual pressure and it is just one this time.

Please, can you point to what you think is the correct answer now? So seeking consent respectfully, having a caring discussion, seeking mutual agreement is not a type of sexual pressure, and actually is really healthy behaviour in an intimate relationship.

So if there is sexual pressure within a relationship, if that's recognised, we now can see where that's come from, we know what it looks like, how are we going to manage that sexual pressure? So it's really important that we know it's completely wrong and actually, in many cases, illegal for anyone, be it your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, or anyone else to sexually pressure or control someone else.

And if that happens, that somebody might need help.

So please speak to someone you trust at home or to a friend.

That might be in the stages where you might feel that there's a partner putting some pressure on, trying to persuade you, trying to tell you that sex might be really good and a positive experience.

It maybe though the pressure is slightly more serious and it's actually causing somebody we know upset, making them really consider doing something they don't want to do and perhaps might feel bullied or forced into.

There will be trusted adults at school like a teacher or a school nurse that you can approach to discuss this and they can put you in touch with the right people and/or give you advice about that.

If you feel there's no one that you can talk, if you're not comfortable speaking to anybody that you know, you can always contact ChildLine.

Their phone number's on the screen, 0800 1111.

They're really easy to find online and there's a chat function where you can chat with somebody about what you're going through and seek advice about maybe how to handle that and about your concerns or about whether to identify if what you're experiencing is pressure, or if perhaps that pressure has become coercion where threats or force is used.

So please don't be afraid to seek help.

If you do contact ChildLine, they do promise anonymity unless there is real danger to somebody's safe safety, okay? So that's something to bear in mind.

Most of you chat that you'll have with them will be anonymous unless there's a real threat to somebody's safety.

And that's the same when you speak to somebody at school.

Teachers, school nurses, can never promise full confidentiality, but we'll only ever tell people where there's a safety issue around yourself or around others.

So please, don't worry about that.

If you're just looking to sound off to find out whether or not what you're experiencing is sexual pressure and to give you an idea of how you might go about managing that, then please don't be afraid to speak to that trusted adult, whoever that might be that you identify.

So what I would now like you to do is in a moment, you're going to pause the video and I would like you to define sexual pressure in your own words.

I'd then like you to think about what someone can do if they are concerned about sexual pressure.

So it's going to take you a few minutes to complete this task.

When you're ready, please pause the video.

You have some sentence starters on the screen that you may choose to use to help you complete the task and then press play when you're ready to resume Now.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look at some potential things you may have talked about here.

So a possible definition of sexual pressure is when someone's manipulated or persuaded into having sex.

For example, there's fear the relationship will end.

You may have elaborated on that definition further with some more examples that we discussed previously.

What should someone do if they're concerned about sexual pressure? Well, you may have given an example like speak to a trusted adult at home or school, friend, or call ChildLine.

So hopefully, your answers at least partially match mine so that you're now fully aware of what sexual pressure is, how we can manage that, and what we can do if we're concerned about it.

So not pressuring others.

You might find yourself in a relationship where you want the relationship to go in one direction.

Perhaps you want to have sex with them and if you're over 16, that would be legal, but your partner that you're in a relationship with doesn't.

So how are you going to manage that? It's really important to recognise when others are feeling pressurised and when your behaviour or the behaviour of those around you may be leading to your partner feeling pressurised.

It's really important that we indicate where people might not be giving their consent other than saying no.

It may be that other than simply saying no, they delay.

"We'll talk about that later, not now.

Can we talk about that tomorrow?" Putting off a conversation, trying to defer that conversation.

They might smile and laugh rather than answering the question directly.

They may change the subject or make excuses.

"Oh, I can't right now, I'm busy, I'm tired." Or minimising.

Maybe, sort of, perhaps.

Consent should always be a clear and freely given yes.

And if you want the relationship to go in a direction that the other person isn't happy to, well, unfortunately, you will need to learn to manage that and be patient if you want that relationship to be successful.

So repeat that again.

Consent should never be presumed.

It should be a clear and freely given yes.

So let's revisit Izzy and John who we have met before.

They've been in a relationship for some time and now are about 16, so legally able to have a sexual relationship if they both consent to it.

Now, John has previously said he's nervous about sex and this is a very short conversation in follow-up to previously discussing the possibility of having sex before.

So Izzy says to John, "Have you thought anymore about maybe us having sex soon, John? And John responds, "Maybe, perhaps, I'm not sure.

Oh, sorry, I just need to reply to this text quickly." So thinking about that short conversation, from what John says, Izzy knows he's not ready to have sex.

How does she know that? How can she identify that he's not ready for sex from what he has replied to her? Please pause the video and explain that now and there's a sentence starter to help you.

Thank you.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look and see how Izzy knows that John is not ready for sex.

Izzy knows John isn't for sex because he doesn't directly answer her.

He doesn't give a definite yes.

He also changes the subject.

And that indicates too Izzy that John is not giving his consent.

She recognises that John's perhaps feeling a little bit of pressure, The way that he responds with the, "Maybe, I've got to reply to my text," as if that that's more important.

He wants to not talk about this.

So Izzy knows he's not ready and she's going to respect that.

But it's important that you also are aware for any future relationships you might have of how to notice if your partner is not feeling that they can fully consent or is feeling pressurised into acting in a way based on your actions or on the actions of others, rather than listening to what they truly feel.

So final reflection.

Why is it important for young people to understand what is meant by sexual pressure? Again, why is it important? This is a takeaway.

It's something for you to think about.

Now, it's for you to think about and maybe jot down, and now at the end of the lesson, on your piece of paper, but it's something I want you to keep in your mind so that when you're embarking on perhaps your first intimate relationships, you're aware of perhaps when you might be experiencing sexual pressure yourself, or might be putting sexual pressure on others.

So think about that and leave.

I'll leave that thought with you.

Please don't forget to complete today's exit quiz.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

I am thrilled to bits that you've stuck with me through to the end of this lesson, I really, really hope that you'll join me for the next lesson in this unit on intimate relationships, positivity, and health.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye.