Hello and welcome to a lesson today on creating a written narrative response.

I'm Miss Sutherland and I'll be teaching you today.

Our learning outcome for today is to plan, write, and proofread a complete narrative piece of writing.

I'm really excited to see you put all the skills that you've been learning to practise today and write a really engaging narrative.

Our three key words for today's lesson are charred, remnants and proofread.

Charred is an adjective and it means to be burned and blackened by fire.

Remnants refer to small pieces of something left from a larger original amount.

So if a building was burnt, you might describe the remnants of it as being charred.

And lastly, proofread.

Proofread means carefully checking for errors in a text before it is published or finished.

So at the end of our writing process, we should always proofread our text.

I'll give you a moment to pause the video and make a note of those keywords.

Off you go.

Excellent.

Let's look at our learning cycles then.

In the first learning cycle today, we'll be planning and writing a narrative response.

We'll be looking at how we can plan our response to be coherent and engaging, and how we can look to plan to use some brilliant narrative techniques.

And in the second learning cycle, we'll be proofreading our work to ensure we are happy with it, to ensure that we haven't made any silly mistakes in our work and to ensure it is clear for our reader.

So let's begin with planning and writing a narrative response.

So which skills have we looked at thus far to help us with our creative writing? So in other words, what skills or techniques might we enlist in our creative writing to make it engaging? Pause the video and discuss.

Well done on remembering some of those really important techniques that we can use in our narrative writing.

Let's take a look at some of them now.

We can use extended metaphors to make our narrative engaging.

Remember, that's when a metaphor extends over multiple lines of the text.

We can also look at building tensions, help us with our creative writing.

Remember how we looked at structuring paragraphs in a way that builds tension as the writing goes on? Rather than choosing a random paragraph structure for our text.

We can also look at using a range of sentence structures to keep our writing engaging.

For example, we could use an inverted sentence structure.

We could use polysyndeton, and we can use asyndeton.

We can also use imagery in our creative writing to make it engaging for the reader and to help the reader visualise the scenes we describe or the people that we describe.

We can manipulate time in our narrative writing, including using flashbacks and flash forwards, and that is a really good way to vary the structure of your narrative writing.

We can also use symbols in our writing.

We can use objects that represent ideas.

For example, we've looked at using a poppy flower to represent hope or even a letter to represent hope.

And we've looked at how we could represent love through a wedding ring.

We've also learned how to use punctuation creatively, including using brackets to add information.

We might also want to use ambitious punctuation like colons or semicolons to add variety to our work.

So those are some of the brilliant ways in which you can enrich your creative writing.

I hope you'll remember to use a variety of these techniques in your work today.

So in today's lesson, we're going to plan a narrative based around this picture.

We need to plan each paragraph in order to create a piece of writing that is clear, engaging, and coherent.

And we can achieve this through single paragraph outlines.

Here is how we organise a single paragraph outline.

The first thing you will plan in each single paragraph outline is a topic sentence.

A topic sentence introduces the main ideas of your paragraph, so it might often be the first sentence of your paragraph.

Next, you'll plan your supporting details and supporting details are the ideas you will use in your writing.

You should also plan the key vocabulary and perhaps some language techniques there too.

And finally, your single paragraph outline will include your concluding sentence.

A concluding sentence concludes the main ideas in your paragraph.

So for creative writing, it's quite often the last sentence of your paragraph.

Let's check your understanding of what we've just talked about then.

How do we organise a single paragraph outline? What do we include first? What do we include next? And what do we plan last? Pause the video and check your understanding.

Let's go through what you may have said.

The first part of a single paragraph outline is the topic sentence, and in creative writing, that's quite often the first sentence of your paragraph that introduces the theme or the content of that paragraph.

The second detail in your single paragraph outline will be the supporting details, and they are all the other things you might describe in that paragraph, including the structural and language techniques and type of sentences you might include.

And the final part of your single paragraph outline will be your concluding sentence, which is often the last part of the paragraph.

And it's very important to plan your concluding sentence carefully because you want to make your concluding sentence link with your next paragraph.

So let's look at an example single paragraph outline based on the picture.

So for the topic sentence, we could start with the air is thick with dust, heat, burning rubber.

Our supporting details, so what else will we talk about in this paragraph? We might describe the skeletal branches of trees that clawed at the air, the charred, windowless building stripped of their soul and the rubble, how it was lined with remnants of rich and full lives.

Notice there how I'm planning the precise vocabulary I want to use, how I'm writing out the full techniques that I want to use.

Notice how I want to use personification in the first sentence, I'm not merely just writing, I would use personification.

I'm writing out that the trees clawed at the air.

I'm writing out my example of personification.

That ensures I don't waste time when it comes to writing my response, and it ensures I establish a really clear tone from the get go.

And our concluding sentence, amid the rubble, a doll lies buried.

It's once bright dress now tattered, one eye staring vacantly from a cracked face.

Notice there how I've zoomed in to a focal point of that scene, which sets me up very nicely for my next paragraph in which I'll go into detail about the doll.

So remember, always make sure your concluding sentence sets up for your next paragraph seamlessly.

Perhaps in your concluding sentence, you might want to hint at the detail of your next paragraph.

So in terms of the next paragraph of this response, it might zoom into the man, describing how the doll is significant to him.

So notice how my first and second paragraph link.

Next, the narrative might include a flashback describing how this disaster occurred.

So see here how I'm planning to manipulate time in my response.

You should also plan any structural techniques in your response too.

Now, I want you to plan three single paragraph outlines for your narrative based on the picture.

So you are going to plan a topic sentence for each paragraph, supporting details for each paragraph and a concluding sentence for each paragraph.

Try to use a range of these techniques in your narrative.

Extended metaphors, a range of sentence structures, imagery, time manipulations, including flashbacks and flash forwards, symbols and varied punctuation.

Pause the video now and have a go at planning your narrative response based on the picture.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Off you go.

I'm really impressed by all the effort there you put into planning.

Planning can sometimes be a daunting task for a lot of students, but I promise you planning is going to help you come up with the most engaging written response later on.

Now, I want you to write up your three paragraph narrative response using your single paragraph outline plans to guide you.

Ensure each of your paragraphs links to the previous paragraph, and try to add tension as the narrative progresses.

Pause the video and get writing.

Off you go.

Excellent job on letting your creative juices run free in that task.

You've all come up with really different but engaging responses there, well done.

Now I want you to read over your writing.

Refer to the checklist below and give yourself a what went well and even better if.

Here is the checklist that you need to be referring to as you read over your work.

Have you used extended metaphors? Have you built tension? Have you used a range of sentence structures including inverted sentence structures, polysyndeton, and asyndeton? Have you used imagery in your response? Have you manipulated time to create an interesting structure such as by using flashbacks and flash forwards? Have you created a symbol in your work and have you used varied punctuation? Read your work and tell me what you've done well and what you need to do better next time, off you go.

Now I want you to reflect upon which techniques you found easiest to use and which you found the most challenging.

Answering these reflection questions is going to help you decide which techniques you need to revise ahead of your next piece of writing.

So pause the video and reflect which techniques did you find easiest to use and which techniques did you find the most challenging? Off you go.

Sometimes it can be really hard to use punctuation creatively.

Sometimes it's easy to forget punctuation, but remember, using varied punctuation not only shows that you know how to use sophisticated punctuation, but also different types of punctuation can add a great deal of meaning to your work.

Remember how brackets can reveal more information about a character.

They're quite a powerful piece of punctuation to use.

Well done on your writing and your self-reflection there.

Let's move on now to proofreading our work.

Remember, proofreading is about checking over our work to correct any errors.

So the Oak pupils are going to give you some tips to help you proofread.

Let's take a look at them.

Sam says, "Read through and edit all of your work, focusing on one area at a time." For example, we could start by looking at the spelling and then we could look at the syntax and then the punctuation, and then the sentence construction.

This would allow you to really hone in on one of those skills, making sure you don't miss any errors.

Sophia says, "Read your work backwards to catch extra spelling errors." That's a really good technique because often when we are reading a text from start to finish the way we normally would, our brain can skip over some errors because it's really good at making shortcuts.

And Andeep's advice is to "Double check spellings in particular, check homophones, polysyllabic words and those with double consonants." Those are words that quite often we can get wrong, so make sure to double check those ones.

And Alex says, "Check you have used commas or brackets to separate clauses." That will ensure you haven't made any errors with your punctuation, and it also makes sure that your writing is clear for the reader, which is your ultimate priority.

You can also take time in the proofreading process to edit your work and make small changes to refine it.

Here are some student tips.

So you might want to review what types of punctuation you've included.

If you have overused an explanation, mark for example, that the proofreading process is your time to edit it.

Aisha says, "Review how each sentence starts, if it is repetitive," for example, if your sentence is always open with the, you might want to try "starting with the subordinate clause instead." This makes your writing more engaging.

And Lucas's advice is to "Review the number of simple, compound or complex sentences you have used.

If you've used too many of one type, try to combine the sentences for variety." So we have been given some great tips on the proofreading process from our Oak pupils.

I hope we'll be able to apply these in our writing.

Now, let's take your understanding of what proofreading is.

True or false? Proofreading can include totally rewriting my opening paragraph.

Is that true or false? Pause the video and answer that question.

That is false.

Proofreading does not involve rewriting a whole paragraph.

Now, why is that? Pause the video and justify your answer.

Now, proofreading does not involve totally rewriting an opening paragraph because proofreading focuses on spotting and correcting minor errors, not totally rewriting a piece of work.

If we are redrafting, we might rewrite a paragraph, but proofreading is quickly checking for errors, and we want to be spending maximum 10 minutes on this.

Now, I want you to proofread the piece of writing you completed in learning cycle one, inspired by the image below.

In particular, make sure you follow the tips given by the students, and I'm going to put the tips on the screen now to remind you of what to look for.

So firstly, focus on one area at a time.

Focus on spellings first, and then focus on punctuation and so on.

Double check all your spellings, especially homophones and words with double consonants.

Reread your work backwards to catch extra spelling errors.

Check you have used commas and brackets appropriately.

And review what types of punctuation you've included.

If you've overused any particular punctuation or sentence structures, you can edit them now.

Pause the video and proofread your work.

Off you go.

Well done for taking the time to proofread your work.

Sometimes it's the last thing we want to do after creating a piece of writing, but I guarantee it has improved your work for the better and made it much clearer for the reader.

Now, here are your reflection questions.

Which strategies did you find worked most effectively in enabling you to proofread? Did you support any mistakes with your punctuation? Did you spot any mistakes with your spelling? Did you spot any repetitive sentence openings? If so, how did you amend them? And did you overuse any particular types of punctuation? If you did, what did you replace them with? Pause the video and reflect upon the proofreading process now.

Well done, you should be really proud of yourself today.

You've planned, written, and proofread a whole narrative response, great job.

Here's what we've learned in today's lesson.

We need to plan our creative writing to ensure it is clear, cohesive, and engaging.

We can use a range of language and structural techniques to craft our writing.

Single paragraph outlines can be used to plan your ideas before you begin writing.

And proofreading is an active process that enables us to spot and correct errors in a written work.

Thank you so much for joining me, and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.