Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

It's Mr. Brown here with your English lesson.

And today we are editing.

We are going to be editing not just one part of our story staircase, but two parts: the climax and the resolution.

And the story we'll be editing is the animation "Lucky Dip." So editing the climax and resolution of "Lucky Dip." Let's go for it.

And the outcome for today's lesson is I can edit the climax and resolution of "Lucky Dip." The keywords we'll use are editing and punctuation.

Let's say those together.

My turn, then your turn.

Editing, punctuation.

Perfect, well done.

Okay, so we're gonna start this lesson by looking at editing punctuation, and then we'll move on to editing words.

So here is the story staircase of "Lucky Dip." You can see we have the opening, the buildup, the climax, and the resolution.

And today's lesson is focusing on the resolution and the climax.

So the climax, the most exciting part of the story, and the resolution, where we're going to tie everything up.

Now let's watch the climax and resolution so we know what these sections of "Lucky Dip" contain.

So you're going to watch two sections back to back, the climax, and this will go straight in to the resolution.

So let's watch it now.

(dramatic music) (coin rolling) (dramatic music) (machine crashing) (child gasping) (dramatic music) (upbeat music) (wind blowing) (child crying) (dramatic music) (flags flapping) (birds chirping) (upbeat music) Welcome back, everyone.

So that ends "Lucky Dip," doesn't it? That's the ending.

We've seen the climax and then into the resolution.

The resolution is the last part of "Lucky Dip." Now the purpose of the resolution is to do these things, to resolve the problem of the main character and end the story with everything now resolved.

So to tie everything up, to make sure that there aren't any unanswered questions, that's how a traditional resolution will work.

Here is an example of a resolution: "Suddenly the Pin Man gently placed Emily "back onto the pier.

"The astounded girl couldn't believe her eyes "because the Pin Man had helped her.

"He was kind after all.

"She skipped to her grandparents "and saw the Pin Man warmly waving back at her.

"Happily she climbed back onto the bus "and gazed at the seaside as she drove away." So that's our resolution, that follows on from the climax.

Let's check your understanding.

The purpose of the resolution is to A, create more problems for the main character, B, resolve the problem of the main character, C, end the story with everything now resolved, D, describe the setting.

There may be more than one correct answer.

Pause the video and decide which answer or answers you think are correct now.

Welcome back everyone.

Let's see if you found the right answers.

There was two.

Okay if you, by the way, if you've just got one, this is a good opportunity for you to pause the video and see if you can find the other one as well 'cause there are two correct answers.

Okay, hopefully we're already now to see the answers.

A creates more problems for the main character.

Absolutely not.

We do not want to create more problems in the resolution because this is the ending of the story.

We don't have more story to be able to solve those problems. B, resolve the problem with the main character.

Yes, and C, end the story with everything now resolved.

D describe the setting, no, that happens in the, tell me? In the opening, exactly.

B and C were the correct answers.

Well done.

"Lucky Dip" could be structured like this.

We have the opening, buildup, climax, and resolution.

And in today's lesson we are editing the climax and the resolution.

Have you ever used the rubber on a pencil to erase something? Hmm, perhaps it was when you were drawing.

Maybe you were writing something and you wanted to erase a word 'cause you didn't want it anymore.

Perhaps when building something out of blocks you have paused, taken some blocks away and changed something.

There are lots of times when we need to change things to make them better.

And we do this in our writing too.

This is called editing.

Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.

Editing, that's what we're focusing on today.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and what you will keep the same.

Even very successful writers need and want to edit their work.

This is not something that's reserved for children.

Adults and successful writers, even the best writers, will edit their work again and again and again until they are completely happy with it.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything again.

It's about making certain corrections and improvements.

Small adjustments, not big rewrites of an entire thing.

So I don't want you to think, oh no, I've got to edit my work, which means I'm gonna have to write it out all over again.

That's not what editing is.

It can be small tweaks that will improve your writing.

Now the job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements in word choices.

And in this lesson, you are going to be editors.

So these are the two things that editors do.

They check for mistakes in punctuation, and they make improvements in word choices.

And that's what we're focusing on today.

Let's check our understanding.

Editing is the process of rewriting a whole piece of text, checking for punctuation errors, making improvements in word choices, or writing the text again with better handwriting.

Editing is the process of what? Pause the video and decide for yourself now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see if you found the right answer or answers.

A, rewriting a whole piece of text, I told you absolutely not.

Editing is not about rewriting a whole piece of text.

B, checking for punctuation errors.

Absolutely yes.

B is the correct answer.

Checking for punctuation errors.

What about C? Making improvements in word choices.

So looking at the word choices you've made and thinking, hmm, could I choose a more ambitious word? That's the correct answer.

Well done if you said C as well.

D, writing the text again with better handwriting.

That's not what editing is.

You may publish your work, which involves writing your work out again in your neatest handwriting, perhaps with some illustrations, but that's not editing.

Well done if you said B and C.

Now one of the main things you'll be checking and editing is punctuation.

Punctuation is the name for the symbols and marks used to make our sentences clearer and easier to read.

This includes all the punctuation that you already know.

So you already know so many examples of punctuation such as capital letters, full stops, commas, exclamation marks, and question marks.

These are all examples of punctuation.

Now in this lesson, our editing for punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops and commas.

We're just going to focus on capital letters, full stops and commas.

And it all starts with being able to spot mistakes.

So all of you, take your magnifying glasses out.

You are going to need them today to look very closely.

We are looking for mistakes, hunting those errors.

There are missing or incorrect capital letters in this sentence.

Let's see if you can spot them.

Have a look.

I'm happy to read it to you.

See if that helps, "after that, the naughty, little bunny Ran away." Now remember, we are focusing just on capital letters.

There are missing or incorrect capital letters in this sentence.

Can you spot them? Okay, tell me where's the first missing or incorrect capital letter? Shout it out.

Okay, yes, yes, yes.

Good job.

You spotted that there is a capital letter missing at the beginning of a sentence.

Easy one for us to check.

Every sentence we check, does it start with a capital letter? Every single sentence you write will start with a capital letter.

So this one doesn't.

It's an easy thing to edit.

How about that one at the end? An incorrect capital letter.

Did you spot that one too? Well done if you did.

There should be no capital letter there.

Ran is not a proper noun.

It's not a person's name or the name of a place.

It is just a verb ran.

So it should not have a capital letter.

Now we know capital letters are used at the beginning of sentences and to begin proper nouns.

We keep this in mind, and we check if there is a capital letter at the beginning of every sentence.

And if there isn't, we edit.

So we look at this sentence.

Is there a capital letter at the beginning of this sentence? Yes or no? You tell me.

Well, well done if you said no.

There is not a capital letter at the beginning of that sentence.

Now we need to edit.

So we do this by crossing out the mistake with a neat diagonal line and adding the edit just above.

So we cross out the letter that we do not want with a neat diagonal line.

We don't scribble, we don't do lots of messy crossing outs.

Just one neat line.

And then we put the letter that we do want, the capital letter in this case, above it.

Now once we've checked the capital letter at the start of a sentence, we should scan through to see if there are any other capital letters that have been used in this sentence, used perhaps incorrectly.

Now if we spot one, we must check that it's being used for a proper noun.

If it is, brilliant.

That's okay, well done.

If it's isn't, we need to edit that capital letter.

So let's have a look at this sentence.

"A second later, the Pin Man suddenly grabbeD Emily!" Can you see any capital letters in that sentence that have not been used for proper nouns? Hmm, let me look closely.

Okay, I can see there are capital letters for Pin and Man.

Now is Pin Man a proper noun? Is it the name of a person? Yes, it is.

So Pin Man, those capital letters are used correctly, so I don't need to do any editing.

Okay, scanning through.

Oh, I can see.

Oh, there's a capital D at the end of the word grabbed.

Now I've never seen a capital letter at the end of a word before, so that must be inaccurate.

Okay, let's fix this.

We need to edit it.

And again, we do this by neatly crossing out the mistake with a neat diagonal line.

There it is, and then putting the edit just above.

So I don't want a capital D, I want a little d.

There it is a lowercase d.

Now I could also see Emily has a capital letter.

But again, the same as Pin Man, Emily is a proper noun.

So that can keep that capital letter.

Well done for spotting and editing the capital letter that shouldn't have been there at the end of the word grabbed.

Let's check our understanding with this question.

How do we cross out a mistake? Is it A with a big cross? Is it B with a neat, diagonal line, or is it C by scribbling over the mistake? A, B, or C? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you found the correct answer.

A, a big cross.

Absolutely not.

We do not want a big cross in our writing.

C, scribbling all over the mistake.

No, definitely not.

Well done if you said B.

A neat diagonal line is how we show the reader that we do not want that letter or word anymore.

We want the thing that is above it.

Now editing for punctuation errors also means finding mistakes with full stops.

In a narrative, we expect most sentences to end with a full stop.

If we check that full stop, and we see that it hasn't got a full stop, then we know we need to edit.

Now let's look at this sentence, "Nervously, Emily shuffled backwards" Has it got a full stop at the end? No it hasn't.

There is no full stop at the end of that sentence.

Now if a full stop is missing, we can edit one easily by just adding it in the correct place.

There's nothing we need to cross out, we just pop it in.

So there it is.

Now we do have a full stop at the end of that sentence.

Now we must also check that there are no full stops in the wrong place in a sentence.

For example, a full stop in the middle of a sentence.

So let's have a look at this sentence.

"Emily reached through the shattered, jagged glass "to grab the bunny.

and held him tightly "in her trembling hand." I can see there's a full stop at the end.

Any full stops in the middle of that sentence that shouldn't be there? Hmm, let's have a look.

Point to one if you can see one.

Ah yes, after the word bunny.

And this is the common place to have an inaccurate full stop because some people think when the word and is there that this is beginning a new sentence, but and is just joining two parts of a sentence.

So that full stop should not be there.

A full stop should not be in the middle of a sentence.

Again, we edit this by crossing out the mistake with a neat diagonal line like that.

And there's nothing to add here.

We just don't want that full stop to be here.

So that is edited and done.

Let's check our understanding.

Which of these sentences uses a full stop correctly? Is it A, "Emily ran back inside the arcade.

but fell over "onto the floor."? B, "Emily opened her eyes and realised "she had landed on the sand" or C "Emily held the magical bunny, "but he swiftly wriggled free and ran away." So you'll need to pause the video now and look closely at each of these sentences to see which one uses a full stop correctly.

So two of these are not using full stops correctly.

Pause the video and decide for yourself now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's see first of all, which is the correct answer.

Well done if you said C.

You can see the full stop is used correctly at the end of this sentence.

Now in A, we can see there is a full stop in the middle of a sentence, and in B, well, there's no full stop at all at the end of the sentence.

So C was the correct answer.

Once we have checked the capital letters and the full stops, it's time that we check our commas.

In a narrative, we are checking to see if a comma has been used after any fronted adverbials and if a comma has been used between adjectives in expanded noun phrases.

So if we see a comma is missing, again we edit this by just adding one in.

Which two of these sentences are missing commas? Look closely.

Which two of these sentences are missing commas? I'll read them for you.

A, "Quickly Emily reached out and grabbed the bunny." B, "Just then, the huge, terrifying Pin Man "approached Emily." C, "Gradually, Emily realised she was safe "and had landed on the soft golden sand." So two of these sentences are missing a comma.

Can you spot them? Pause the video and decide for yourself which two sentences are missing commas now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's see the correct answers, and then we'll look into where the commas were missing.

So we have A was the correct answer.

And there you can see the comma is missing after quickly.

Quickly is a fronted adverbial, so therefore it should have a comma after it.

And C, and it's a comma missing between two adjectives, soft and golden.

So well done if you said A and C.

Time for a practise task.

I would like you to edit the punctuation in your climax by reading through carefully and slowly.

You are checking for the following things: capital letters used only at the start of each sentence and for any proper nouns, full stops at the end of each sentence.

And commas used after fronted adverbials of time and manner, and between adjectives in expanded noun phrases.

Work through by focusing on each of these one at a time.

So start with capital letters, then move on to full stops, then commas, not just going through looking for all three of these things at the same time.

If you see that anything needs to be edited, add it in.

If you spot anything that needs to be removed, simply put a neat diagonal line through the mistake.

Edit the punctuation in these three sentences if you do not have your own climax to edit.

So if you have your own climax, brilliant, you can work through it.

Once you have worked through that, you may even want to do this as well.

But if you don't have your own climax, do not worry.

You can use these three sentences from my climax instead.

So pause the video and edit your climax or these three sentences from my climax now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Okay, let's have a look, shall we? So we've got, "Nervously, Emily walks backwards "to escape the terrifying angry Pin Man "who was edging closer and closer" We've got "Suddenly Emily disappeared "dOwn a deep, dark hole." And "after a moment, the Pin Man reached down "and grabbed emily." The first thing we're looking for is capital letters.

So any capital letters we need to pick up on.

Okay, let's have a look.

Ah, yes.

Number three.

You could see a capital letter was missing there.

The start of it is after a moment, and there was no capital letter.

So I put a neat line through that, and we'll put a capital A there instead.

Next, let's see, ah, yes.

Capital letter should not be there in number two.

Can you see the O in down is a capital? That shouldn't be there, so let's cross that out.

Well done.

And then a little o.

And the last one we're looking for is, ah, yes, Emily.

Let's cross out the e and put a capital E because it didn't have a capital, and she's a proper noun, isn't she? Okay, I think that's all my capitals.

Great, that's done.

Tick that off.

So now it's full stops at the end of each sentence.

Okay, sentence number one has, oh, does not have a full stop.

Let's pop that in.

Sentence number two does, and sentence number three does.

Great, okay, so that can be ticked off, and commas used after fronted adverbials and between adjectives.

So again, I'm working really systematically, very slowly.

I'm going to start with just looking at commas used after fronted adverbials.

So first sentence has nervously and has a comma, yep.

Second sentence has suddenly, and oh does not have a comma, so let's pop that in.

There it is.

Third sentence after a moment and does have a comma.

Great, so now it's commas between adjectives.

So look at that first one.

Any adjectives? Yeah, terrifying, angry.

Terrifying and angry are two adjectives, and they don't have a comma, so let's put that in.

Good, any others? No, I think that's everything.

So that can be ticked.

Well done for spotting those edits.

Okay, let's move on to editing words.

When we edit word choices, we carefully review and make changes to the words in our writing.

Editing word choices in a narrative can have a big impact on the writing by improving how descriptive it is.

When editing, make sure you check that word choices are descriptive and choose words that are ambitious.

Let me just check your understanding.

Editing word choices in your writing will have no impact.

Is that true or is that false? Editing word choices in your writing will have no impact.

True or false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you found the right answer.

Editing word choices in your writing will have no impact is false.

Of course, it will have lots of impact.

You can improve your writing for sure by editing your word choices.

In our narrative writing, we want the adjectives chosen to be ambitious and descriptive.

We also want the verbs and adverbs chosen to be precise to ensure that the reader can picture exactly what is happening at each moment.

Now verbs are the words used to tell the reader what is happening and adverbs are words that tell the reader how a verb happened.

We want both of these to be as precise as possible.

For example, Emily walked slowly backwards to escape the Pin Man could be improved by using some of these more precise verbs like shuffled, edged, tiptoed.

That tells me how she's feeling more.

If she's shuffling backwards, she's probably feeling nervous, anxious, worried.

If she's tiptoeing, she doesn't want to be seen.

She's trying to do it quietly.

If she's edging, it's just a little bit at a time.

And so I can cross out, walked and replace it with tiptoed.

And suddenly Emily tiptoed slowly backwards to escape the Pin Man.

My sentence is better.

I've improved my writing.

That edit has helped to improve my writing, but I can go further because I can replace slowly with anxiously or nervously or gradually.

So if I cross slowly out and replace it with anxiously, suddenly my sentence is now "Emily tiptoed anxiously backwards to escape the Pin Man." So much better, so much more descriptive, and that's what we're doing when we're editing.

True or false verbs are the words used to tell the reader what is happening.

Is that true or false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you found the right answer.

Verbs are the words used to tell the reader what is happening.

It's true, they are.

They tell the reader the action that's happening in that scene.

Well done if you said true.

Adjectives help the reader to picture the nouns in your writing.

Now we want our adjectives to be precise, to help the reader picture exactly what we're describing.

For example, "Emily's big eyes "looked straight at the Pin Man." Big is not a very descriptive adjective.

We could replace it with wide, terrified or tear-filled.

So if I crossed out big and replaced it with wide, tear-filled, that suddenly is two adjectives instead of one, but two, much more descriptive adjectives.

They're more precise for this moment.

"Emily's wide, tear-filled eyes looked straight "at the Pin Man." Much, much better.

Time for a practise task.

I would like you to edit the verbs, adverbs and adjectives in your climax.

You need to find the verbs, adverbs and adjectives in each sentence.

Decide if they can be edited to be more precise by using a different word.

That's the process you'll go on.

First you have to hunt them down and then decide if they need to be edited and improved.

If you spot any words that can be improved, simply put a neat diagonal line through the word that you do not want and write the word you want instead above.

Okay, you know how to do this.

We know how to edit our work.

So if you don't have a climax, you can use this instead.

You can use our resolution.

If you have a climax, then you can move on to this resolution.

So it's time to edit the verbs, adverbs, and adjectives in your climax, hopefully if you have one.

If not the resolution, and if you have a climax, do that first and then try this resolution as well.

Okay, pause the video and edit the verbs, adverbs and adjectives now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's have a look at our resolution, shall we? So if I'm reading through, I've got "Suddenly the Pin Man put Emily," Put, that's not a very descriptive verb, is it? So let's cross that out and replace it with gently placed.

So much better.

So I've now got not just a more descriptive verb in place, but gently, an adverb too.

"Suddenly the Pin Man gently placed Emily "back onto the pier." That's good.

Okay, "The little girl," she's always been a little girl throughout the entire story, but she's now at this point seeing that the Pin Man has helped her.

So she's very surprised.

She's surprised, she's shocked.

Okay, I got it.

Let's cross out little, astounded.

"The astounded girl couldn't believe her eyes "because the Pin Man had helped her! "He was kind after all.

"She went to her grand," went.

Went, I do not like seeing went in any piece of writing.

Went is a very, is a word that, a verb that really lacks in precision.

It doesn't tell us exactly how someone moved, went.

I'm gonna cross that out and replace it with, okay, so how's she feeling at this point? She is feeling happy to be back on the pier.

She probably wants to go to her grandparents to feel safe.

Let's say, "She skipped to her grandparents "and saw the Pin Man slowly waving back at her." Okay, so the Pin Man is waving at her.

Everyone slowly waves back.

That doesn't tell us anything.

Okay, he now, we want the reader to know how kind he is and how friendly he is.

So if you were kind and friendly, how would you wave back? I know.

Let's cross out slowly, "warmly waving back." "She skipped to her grandparents "and saw the Pin Man warmly waving back at her.

"Smoothly, she climbed back onto the bus." Smoothly, hmm, that doesn't fit.

Smoothly, she climbed back onto the bus? Quickly, she climbed back onto the bus.

How's she feeling? Let's get some emotion in there.

That's it.

"Happily, she climbed back onto the bus "and glared at the seaside as she drove away." Now glared, glared is quite a negative word.

It's something that you would use if you were angry.

If I glare at you, I'm very angry.

I'm glaring at you, but not for a good reason.

That doesn't fit the end of our story.

It's a happy ending.

She's looking at the seaside, but she's doing it positively.

So let's go for, cross out glare, gazed.

"She gazed at the seaside." If you gaze at something, it might be something you love or enjoy.

Okay, good edits that have helped to improve my writing, and that's what we're doing today.

Let's summarise the learning that we've done in this lesson.

Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.

Punctuation is the name for the marks used to make our sentences clearer and easier to read.

When we edit word choices, we carefully review and make changes to the words in our writing.

Brilliant work in this lesson.

You have edited your climax and resolution, improved your writing, and that's what editing is all about.

Well done.

I hope to see you again very soon.