Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Miss Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, "Jabberwocky": narrative writing.

Thank you so much for joining in on today's lesson.

I hope you've been enjoying the unit as much as I have.

Really looking forward to today's lesson, because we are going to be doing some planning of the next section of our writing.

So let's get started.

In today's lesson from our unit, "Jabberwocky" narrative writing, we are planning the second section of our story's staircase, the build-up.

So, your learning outcome is: I can plan the build-up of a narrative based on "Jabberwocky." So let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Plan.

Notes.

Ambitious vocabulary.

Fronted adverbial.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

A plan is a framework that writers create before they write a section or a whole text.

Notes are written out of full sentences.

Ambitious vocabulary is high-level language in writing that meets the text's purpose.

And a fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be preparing to plan, so generating the vocabulary what we want to include in a plan, and writing the plan itself.

So let's start with preparing to plan.

"Jabberwocky" can be structured like this: An opening, which we've already written, a build-up, a climax, and then the resolution.

In today's lesson, we are planning the build-up.

The purpose of a build-up, is to do all of these: Develop the plot and the characters and their emotions, and also build up that tension and excitement.

So, in the build-up of our narrative version of "Jabberwocky," we want to really focus on building up the tension and the excitement.

So we'll start with the boy bravely walking through those threatening woods that his father had warned him about.

Ominous noises can be heard from the depths of the forest.

Ominous means something bad is about to happen, so it's making the reader feel like something scary is about to happen.

Then, after the boy has rested on the tree, this huge, threatening beast slowly approaches the young man.

The boy is becoming more and more scared, so as a reader, we want to make the reader feel more and more scared about this beast and understand why the boy is feeling that way.

And then the build-up ends with describing the Jabberwock with its fiery eyes, its huge, sharp claws, and its lethal teeth.

The end of the build-up is at its most tense moment, the most suspenseful moment, 'cause we don't know as a reader what's going to happen.

What will the jabberwock do next? We're not gonna describe the vicious fight between the jabberwock and the boy, we'll do that in the climax as that's the most exciting moment.

So, we'll finish the build-up at its most intense moment.

What will the jabberwock do next? So, checking for understanding.

In the build-up of "Jabberwocky," A, the boy kills the jabberwock.

B, the boy is looking for the scary creature.

C, the boy returns to his father, or D, the boy sees the jabberwock for the first time.

Pause the video now.

That's right, in the build-up, it starts with the boy looking for that scary creature, and then, he sees the jabberwock for the first time.

A, the boy kills the jabberwock, that's going to happen in the climax.

And C, the boy returns to his father, that's in the resolution when the story is coming to an end.

Well done.

So a descriptive build-up should enable the reader to picture the action in their mind.

And we can achieve this through precise descriptions and by using really ambitious vocabulary to paint this vivid picture.

And our descriptive build-up should also really focus on developing the character's emotions, in particular, the boy's emotions, how he's becoming more and more scared, and build up that tension.

So, let's first review the key moments of the build-up: Firstly, the young man bravely walked through the dark forest looking for the jabberwock.

Then, he rested on a tree when he heard a strange, ominous noise.

The jabberwock appeared from the shadows and slowly approached him, making this fearsome, burbling noise.

And, then finally, the jabberwock's eyes were burning-red, and it had ferocious teeth and lethal claws.

So these are the four key moments of the build-up.

But when we come to writing, we're going to be describing them in a lot more detail using a wide range of ambitious vocabulary.

So, let's just check our understanding of the key moments.

You need to put the key moments of the build-up in the correct order.

So here they are, and you need to number them, one, two, three, and four.

Pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, so, the first moment of the build-up: Number one, the young man bravely walked through the dark forest looking for the jabberwock.

Number two, he rested on a tree when he heard a strange, ominous noise.

Number three, the jabberwock appeared from the shadows and slowly approached him, making a fearsome noise.

And finally, number four, the jabberwock's eyes were burning-red, and it had ferocious teeth and lethal claws.

Well done.

So, throughout our descriptive build-up, we will use a range of descriptive language.

So, descriptive language includes all of these: Figurative language, so metaphors, similes, personification.

Precise verbs, descriptive adjectives and adverbs.

Fronted adverbials of time, place and manner.

Show-not-tell language, so language that describe the character's emotions by describing their body language and their facial expressions.

And expanded noun phrases.

All of these together helped create this vivid image in the reader's mind of the characters and the setting.

So let's think about fronted adverbials.

Fronted adverbials of manner tell the reader how an action is taking place.

They add extra detail to the verb doing the action, and they give the reader a more vivid image in their mind of what is happening.

For example, we could just say, he looked back at where the sound came from.

But by adding the fronted adverbial of manner, nervously, the reader then has a better image of how he looked around, he looked around nervously, he was scared, so that's adding extra detail for the reader.

Or, when you're thinking about describing the way that he walked through the thicket, the thicket is the woods.

You could say, with trepidation, the cautious boy crept through the thicket.

Trepidation means with like, anxiety, so he was nervous.

And with trepidation, he crept through the thicket.

Again, that fronted adverbial of manner is adding extra detail to describe how he walked through the woods.

He wasn't marching confidently or running excitedly; he was nervously creeping through, trying to not make a noise.

So, these fronted adverbials of manners are really helpful in helping to create that vivid picture for the reader.

Now, fronted adverbials of time or place tell the reader when or where an action is taking place, which is really useful when trying to tell the story.

For example, across the forest floor, a horrifying beast with fiery, flaming eyes began its slow approach towards the fighter.

Across the forest floor, is a fronted adverbial of place.

It's telling you where the action is happening, or you could say, instantly, the warrior turned around and held up his sword, ready to pounce.

Instantly, is that fronted adverbial of time, and it's describing the way the boy moved.

He really quickly picked up his sword rather than kind of nervously or casually.

He was quick, because he was scared.

So that's, again, just adding extra detail for the reader.

So, checking for understanding.

Which types of fronted adverbials are most often used in a narrative? A, fronted adverbials of time, place and manner.

B, formal fronted adverbials.

C, viewpoint fronted adverbials, or D, fronted adverbials of cause.

Pause the video now.

That's right, that is A.

B, C and D are all the types of fronted adverbials you tend to find in nonfiction writing, like a non-chronological report.

Well done.

So, let's think about vocabulary we want to include in our plan.

Let's generate some descriptive adjectives and verbs we could use to describe the beginning of the build-up.

So, this moment, the young boy, young man, bravely walked through the dark forest looking for the jabberwock.

So, I want you to think about describing the sights in the forest.

Maybe, the sounds, what the boy would be able to hear, and also describing the boy and the way he walked.

So, pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, here are some of my ideas that I've come up with.

He said that darkness enveloped the forbidden forest.

So some figurative language there, which describe how dark this forest is and create quite a scary atmosphere.

The shadows lurked.

Described the boy as a courageous warrior, or a vulnerable youth.

So just two different ways to refer to the boy.

Sweat dripped down his brow.

Some show-not-tell language to describe how he was feeling.

He was feeling scared.

And then, the sounds in the forest, these ominous sounds.

Something bad is about to happen when you describe something that's ominous.

So, checking for understanding.

Which of the following are precise adjectives to describe the boy at the beginning of the build-up? A, thrilled, B, courageous, C, relieved, or D, vulnerable.

Pause the video now.

That's right, we can describe him as courageous, so, brave, or D, vulnerable.

He's vulnerable, because we know how scary and dangerous those animals are.

Well done.

So, now let's generate descriptive adjectives and verbs we could use to describe the jabberwock.

So, the final moment of the build-up is describing what the jabberwock looked like.

We said this jabberwock's eyes were burning-red and it had ferocious, dangerous teeth and lethal claws.

So now, you need to pause the video and have a go at thinking about some adjectives and verbs to describe this monstrous creature.

Pause the video now, off you go.

Okay, well done.

So, here are some of the ideas I've come up with.

I described his eyes as fiery and flaming.

It's almost like a fire, they're so red.

His huge jaws held a writhing tongue.

Again, that verb, writhing, wriggling around, moving and squirming, so I envision the tongue to be really long.

The vicious beast with blood-red eyes.

Again, he's describing his eyes being the colour of blood.

His razor-sharp claws with talons as sharp as glass shards, describing just how sharp and lethal his claws can be.

The savage, deadly monster, another way to refer to the jabberwock.

Savage means brutal, aggressive, deadly, he can kill, it can kill.

And then, finally, withered, twisted arms, so creating this quite scary, creepy image of the jabberwock's arms, which aren't like any other arm you've seen on an animal before.

So, checking for understanding.

Which of the following are precise adjectives to describe the jabberwock's appearance.

A, soft, colourful fur, B, burning, blood-red eyes, C, friendly smile, or D, withered, twisted arms. Pause the video now.

Okay, so we can describe the jabberwock as having B, burning, blood-red eyes, or D, withered, twisted arms. A and C are much too positive descriptions for the jabberwock.

Well done.

So, it's time for Task A.

You need to fill in the blanks with precise and ambitious vocabulary.

And you can use the word bank below.

So I'm gonna read the sentences now, and as I'm reading, you can be thinking which of the words from the word bank would be the most appropriate to fill in the blanks.

So your options are vulnerable, blood-red, forbidden, ominous, and huge.

So here are the sentences: Darkness enveloped the blank forest.

With trepidation, the blank youth crept through the thicket.

Sweat dripped down the warrior's brow as a blank sound echoed through the trees.

A horrifying beast with blank, flaming eyes inched towards the boy, and a pair of blank jaws, which held a long, writhing tongue, made strange, burbling noises.

Let's pause the video now, and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Let's go through it.

As I'm reading it out aloud, I want to be able to hear you say the word when we need to fill it in.

Darkness enveloped the forbidden forest.

With trepidation, the vulnerable youth crept through the thicket.

Sweat dripped down the warrior's brow as an ominous sound echoed through the trees.

A horrifying beast with blood-red, flaming eyes inched towards the boy.

And a pair of huge jaws, which held a long, writhing tongue, made strange burbling noises.

Great job everybody.

Well done.

It's time for the second section of the lesson where we are writing the plan.

When we write a plan, we use notes.

Notes are concise, so short, and capture key vocabulary and information.

The purpose of notes is to help the writer organise information easily, for future use.

So we don't need to write full sentences in our plan, 'cause we're not writing our final piece of writing.

These are just the key vocabulary and information and ideas we want to include in our writing.

We use bullet points when note-taking, and they look like this.

So, checking for understanding.

What will you need to include in your plan? A, full sentences with capital letters and full stops.

B, bullet points for notes.

C, precise and ambitious vocabulary.

Or D, unnecessary information.

Pause the video now That is right, we need to use bullet points for notes and precise and ambitious vocabulary in our plan.

We don't need full sentences, capital letters and full stops, and we don't need any unnecessary information on our plan.

Well done.

So, it's time for Task B.

We need to fill in now the first key moment of the build-up, which is: the young man bravely walked through the dark forest looking for the jabberwock.

You can start by filling in some fronted adverbials.

These can be of time, place, and manner.

And then some descriptive vocabulary, so precise verbs, adverbs, and adjectives.

All to describe this moment in more detail, to create that vivid picture for the reader.

So you can use any of the vocabulary that we discussed generated in the first section of the lesson, or you can come up with your own, or with your partner, or whoever you are with.

So pause the video now, and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to go through some of my ideas now, and if you'd like to, you can add some of them to your plan.

Don't worry at all, if yours aren't exactly the same as this.

In fact, that's a good thing, 'cause then it means we'll have different plans, and then our writing will all be different as well, which is great.

So, here are some of the fronted adverbials I came up with: With trepidation, is that fronted adverbial of manner.

Through the thicket, so fronted adverbial of place, the thicket is the bush.

And then, nervously, again, another fronted adverbial of manner.

And then descriptive vocabulary.

Describing the boys, the courageous warrior, or the vulnerable youth.

Shadows lurked in every corner to kind of create that creepy, scary atmosphere.

He's crept silently through the darkness, so precise verb choice there, crept, and adverb, silently.

And he gripped tightly onto his faithful sword, describing the boy's emotions, and we can see he's getting nervous, 'cause he's so tightly holding onto his sword.

Okay, as I said, you can add these to your plan if you'd like to, and you can pause the video.

Otherwise we're going to move on to describing the second key moment of the build-up, which was when the young man rested on a tree when he heard a strange, ominous noise.

Again, you can use some fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner, and then descriptive vocabulary, and some precise verbs, adverbs, and adjectives.

So, pause the video now, and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Here are some of the ideas I've come up with, and if you want to, you can absolutely add them to your plan too.

So, the fronted adverbials: eventually, fronted adverbial of time, exhausted, fronted adverbial of manner, describing how he was feeling.

And instantly, another fronted adverbial of time.

He sought solace on an ancient tree.

Solace means rest and calm, he was looking for that.

He wiped the sweat from his brow; he's hot and exhausted after walking for so long.

He heard ominous sounds from the depths of the forest, and he turned around with his heart in his mouth, again, some figurative language there to describe the way the boy is feeling.

His heart actually isn't in his mouth, but it is a way of describing how scared he is.

Okay, if you want to, you can pause the video, and add these ideas to your plan.

Otherwise, well done.

So, the third key moment is the vicious jabberwock approached the young man.

So you want to think about some fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner to describe where the jabberwock is coming from, how it's moving, and then also some descriptive vocabulary to describe what the jabberwock looked like, its appearance, its eyes, its jaws, its arms, to create this really scary image for the reader at the end of the build-up.

So, pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Here's some of the ideas I've come up with for describing this third key moment.

So, fronted adverbials of place, across the forest floor, that's where the jabberwock is.

Wildly, so describing the way it was moving, maybe, moving its arms. Alarmingly, fronted adverbial of manner to describe how the jabberwock was moving.

Then, descriptive vocabulary: The horrifying beast with fiery, flaming eyes.

A pair of huge jaws which held its writhing tongue.

Swiping arms with razor-sharp claws.

And then, describing the claws as being so sharp that they could scratch out the eyes of its victim.

So, creating a really scary image of the jabberwock for the reader at the end of the build-up, and then the reader will end the build-up thinking, "What's gonna happen next? What is this jabberwock going to do?" Well done, everybody.

Great job.

Make sure you keep the plan safe, because you're going to need to use it in the next lesson where we are writing the build-up.

Great job today, everybody.

Well done.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned.

The purpose of the build-up is to develop the characters and build up the excitement.

When we plan, we log precise and ambitious vocabulary to help paint vivid pictures for our reader, and fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner are included in a plan to add extra detail about the action.

Great job.