Lesson video

Hello and welcome.

My name is Mr. Santhanam, and this is less than 10 of 10, from our Awongalema unit.

I've had so much fun learning how to use vivid description in my writing, and this to write, the ending for our Awonagalema recycled story.

Before we begin, I just want to think about, what are the most important things, when we are writing vivid description? Hmm.

Hmm.

I wonder if there was someone who could help me.

Oh, Gary, the chameleon, you're back again.

It's funny how you always turn up at moments like this.

I wonder, can you help me today? We are trying to think about, how we can use vivid description in our writing.

I know there are five things that can help me here.

Do you remember any? Do you think you know, Gary, the chameleon? Do you think you know, Gary, the chameleon? Ah, he says that there's something to do with our eyes.

He also says there's something to do with our tongue.

He also says there's something to do with our nose.

He was saying there's someone's do with, when we feel things.

And he also said, there's something with our ears.

Can you remember what those things are? Of course it's our five senses.

And when we describe all our senses, we are using really vivid description, in order to communicate what something is like to the audience.

And that way, the reader can really feel like they are there in the moment, if you describe things really vividly.

I want to take a moment now Gary.

And I want to think about, what you can feel.

How would you describe vividly what you can feel? Gary says that he can feel my warm hand underneath him, and he feels safe and secure.

That's 'cause we're such good friends, Gary.

What can you feel right now? It might help.

If you close your eyes, and try to think about what's around you, what things are touching you, and how do you feel inside.

When you come to writing the story, you can really think about touch and feeling, to really describe what things are like.

Should we get started on today's lesson Gary? Okay, fantastic, let's begin.

In today's lesson, you are going to need your paper and your pencil, and of course your brilliant brain.

Pause the video now, while you go and get those things.

Wow, speedy, speedy, speedy Gonzalez, we can begin now Here's our agenda for today.

First, we're going to have a look at our Spellings, then we're going to Review our Description Toolkit, then we're going to step through the Storymap, to help us remember what happens in the last part of the story, and finally, we're going to our Shared Write.

Let's get started with our spelling.

This week, we have been learning all about words that end in, 'ore'.

Do you know any words that end in 'ore'? More, I would like some more please.

Core, throw away your apple core.

Score, what is the football score? Tore, I tore my shirt.

Store, let's go to the video game store.

I know a great way to check if I know my spellings.

Is to look at a word, say it in a sentence so it makes sense, write the word, cover the word, then write the word, and then check that I got the spelling right.

That way, I know which ones I know really well and are locked in my brain, and I know which ones I have to work on still.

Why not give yourself a spelling test now, to see which ones of these you really know and which ones you might need to re work on, and which ones you might need to work on a little bit more.

Okay, now let's have a look at our description toolkit.

So we're going to be focusing today on the end of the story.

And this is when the tree burst into life again, and all the animals and all the plants start to grow, and the water starts to splash back into the watering hole.

I wonder, what smells you might smell when the tree comes to life again.

What smells do you think we might smell, Gary? Gary thinks that we might be able to smell fragrant fruit growing from the branches.

What sites do you think we might see? Oh, he thinks that we might see beautiful flowers growing on the tree.

What sounds do you think we might hear, Gary? Wow, he says that we might hear all the animals cheering and rejoicing, because their tree is back to life again, and they finally have fruit to eat.

What about tastes, Gary? Oh, we might want to describe how the animals taste fruit, and it tastes very sweet.

He also says that if they were touching things, they might feel the cool water splashing on their skin, or they might feel the cool breeze sweep through the watering hole, amazing.

They'll think at all five sentences that we want to use in our toolkit.

Don't forget, in our structure, we should have already by now written the title, which is, Awongalema.

We should have written the beginning part, which tells you how hot and dusty and dry everything is, before the tree was brought back to life.

We should have told the middle part, where all four animals got to speak to the mountain spirits, and they come back down again.

And finally, this is the part when my snail comes down very slowly, remembers the Awongalema's name, and shouts out.

And that is when the tree bursts back into life.

Remember your challenge is that you should have chosen some of your own animals.

But if you want to use my animals to help you, that's fine.

Okay, the end part of the story that we're going to focus on, is when the tree bursts into life again.

We might say that there is sweet fruit growing on the tree.

We might say there are bright colours and bright flowers as well.

We might say the fruit is juicy, and that the animals are very happy, and they cheer and munch at the fruit.

What do you think? What words are you going to include? Don't forget, today we're just focusing on the end part of the setting description.

So we're just going to describe what it's like, when the tree bursts back into life.

Remember our toolkit, , don't forget our toolkit as well.

Think about what can we see, when the tree comes back to life? What can you smell? What can you feel? And what can you hear? Okay, it's now time for our Shared Write.

Don't forget we're just writing the end part of our story today.

I know that when I'm thinking about what to write, I can think of a sentence, say it in my head, or even say out loud sometimes.

And then I need to decide how I'm going to punctuate it.

Am I going to use a full stop? Am I going to use an exclamation mark? Am I going to use a question mark? Once I know what I'm going to say, I think about it again, I've to write it down, and then I read it back to check that I did not make any mistakes.

So remember, think it, say it, punctuate it, think it, write it, read it back.

Good luck.

Okay, we're finally going to write the final end part of our story.

I'm going to start with, as soon as the snail said Awongalema, I've got speech marks, because that's someone saying something, AwongaLema, the tree, what happened to the tree? Do we want to describe what the tree is? What the tree looks like, what it sounds like, what it feels like, or what it smells like? We could even describe what it tastes like, maybe.

I want to think I want to describe what it looks like.

And I might say that it burst to, burst into life.

Maybe it exploded with colour.

Maybe it transformed.

Hmm, which one do you like best? Burst into life, exploded with colour, or transformed? I think I liked burst into life, I mean, to use that one, 'cause that shows that it is coming alive again.

The tree exploded into life.

What else might happen? Maybe some beautiful flowers will grow on the branches.

Maybe leaves will grow.

Maybe some colourful flowers, colourful flowers, bloomed on the branches, on the branches.

Green leaves grew all around the animals as they, what sound do you think they would be making, if they had just seen the tree come to life? Do you think they would scream? Do you think they would cheer? Or do you think they would gasp? I like cheer because it shows just how happy this moment is.

Green leaves grew all around the animals as they cheered.

Well, I can maybe even use an adverb, joyfully.

Hmm, I now want to describe maybe what the tree smells like, it's got fruit on it.

So does the fruit smell sweet? Does it smell beautiful? Or does it smell pleasant? I think I'm going to go with sweet, 'cause that shows that the animals will want to eat it.

Sweet smelling fruit fell from the tree, and water, hmm, what sound do you think the water would make? Would it splash? Would it trickle? Or would it pour? Which one do you think? Would it splash, trickle or pour? I'm going to go with splash, that makes it sound like there's lots of water.

And water splashed into the watering hole.

And the animals lived happily ever after, 'cause they had their fruit, they had their water back, and their land was alive again.

That's the end of my Shared Write for my ending.

I can see that I am showing how the tree has exploded into life, so that site, colourful flowers, I'm describing what the flowers are like, they bloomed.

I've described what the fruit smells like.

I've described what the animals sound like, there's cheering joyfully.

I've also described what the water sounds like as well.

So I'm using all my senses there.

I might even want to explain what the fruit tastes like as well.

I wonder what senses you are going to describe when you come to write the end of your story.

Okay, pause your video now, while you write your own ending for the story.

Remember, the tree comes back to life, the animals all rejoice and they eat happily, and live, and they eat and live happily ever after.

Oh my goodness.

Gary, how do you feel about everyone's writing? Gary says that he's really, really proud of you, and so am I.

So we're both sending you lots and lots of Mr. Santhanam shine.

I love how you've used vivid description in your writing, and you've used the five senses to really show the readers what it's like in that moment in the story.

It's like, I'm there with you as you're writing it.

I can't wait to see what you write next.

Don't forget to share your work with Oak National.

And if you'd like to, ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnWithOak.

I'll see you next time, bye bye.